Alright, I've decided to start this journal online to give myself some motivation and social pressure to go out and meet women. I've been creeping around GC for a long time and it feels like i'm only doing it for the thrill of reading another guys LR. Reading other peoples progress has become "fun" and addicting for me. However, I want this experience for myself and I am committing to changing the way I view women/dating/sex ect.
Some background on myself - I am 23 years old and I am part of the "fake it till you make it" virgin club. All through Middle school/High school/College I have never had a girlfriend or any sexual experience with a women (I have never admitted any of this to my friends/girls I have dated). I have had some opportunities, but much to my regret I pussied out and lost all confidence in myself when dealing with women. I honestly don't know if I'm attractive or not. I've had girls that have chase me (which I screwed up/got scared of), I've had girls call me cute, but I just can't get over the fact that I haven't had sex so I must NOT be that appealing to women.
On this first post I am going to list a group of Missed opportunities that i've seen in the past couple weeks in order to motivate myself to act instead of walk away from a potential interaction. There was a post on the GC website about "Not being angry with myself for long enough" and it really hit home that I should try and rewrite my brain to feel worse when I don't do something than when I do.
Missed Opportunity #1
Girl in line at food place
Why I was attracted:
She looked cute
Had a nice outfit
Was alone (I'm afraid of talking to girls in groups)
Had a unique hairstyle
Where it went wrong:
Anxiety
I was afraid of other people in line judging me
What I should have done:
Commented on her "unique" hairstyle
Asked her about the food there (it was the first time going there)
Missed Opportunity #2
GIrl walking to shops
Why I was attracted:
She was open
She smiled at me
Perfect positioning (I was crossing in front of her)
Why I failed:
Too far up in my head
Had nothing to comment on
What I should have done:
Said Hi
Told her she looked cute
Asked her something Generic - in order to get over my anxiety
Missed Opportunity #3
Girl in line
Why I was attracted:
She was alone
She was FACING ME when we were in line (I was in front of her but when I leaned against the railing she would pivot her body toward mine and be looking down at her phone)
What I did:
Nodded my head and smiled
Why I failed:
Didn't say anything
Too scared
What I should have done:
Said Hi
Opportunity #4 (the reason that I am now writing this journal)
Two girls at Starbucks
Why I was attracted:
Both were cute
They sat outside (I was alone outside until they came out and sat with their laptop and coffee)
They sat facing me
Why I failed:
I sat there studying my test material
I let my mind come up with multiple excuses NOT to say anything
I was afraid of approaching two girls in a group
What I did:
I sat there for a good 30 minutes pretending to study. I went back inside the SB to go to the bathroom. When I came out, I met one of the girls eyes and held the contact. I said Hi and started to walk away. Heard both of them say Hi back to me but I had already broken the eye contact.
What I should have done:
Made a comment as soon as they sat down (Hi - nice weather outside for a study sesh huh?)
Made a comment as I said Hi (Hi - You guys studying for something?)
Kept the eye contact throughout the interaction
I hope these will provide motivation for me during future opportunities.
I welcome any and all questions or comments at any time. It would also be nice to hear similar stories of the beginning struggles that people have had. Thanks.
Some background on myself - I am 23 years old and I am part of the "fake it till you make it" virgin club. All through Middle school/High school/College I have never had a girlfriend or any sexual experience with a women (I have never admitted any of this to my friends/girls I have dated). I have had some opportunities, but much to my regret I pussied out and lost all confidence in myself when dealing with women. I honestly don't know if I'm attractive or not. I've had girls that have chase me (which I screwed up/got scared of), I've had girls call me cute, but I just can't get over the fact that I haven't had sex so I must NOT be that appealing to women.
On this first post I am going to list a group of Missed opportunities that i've seen in the past couple weeks in order to motivate myself to act instead of walk away from a potential interaction. There was a post on the GC website about "Not being angry with myself for long enough" and it really hit home that I should try and rewrite my brain to feel worse when I don't do something than when I do.
Missed Opportunity #1
Girl in line at food place
Why I was attracted:
She looked cute
Had a nice outfit
Was alone (I'm afraid of talking to girls in groups)
Had a unique hairstyle
Where it went wrong:
Anxiety
I was afraid of other people in line judging me
What I should have done:
Commented on her "unique" hairstyle
Asked her about the food there (it was the first time going there)
Missed Opportunity #2
GIrl walking to shops
Why I was attracted:
She was open
She smiled at me
Perfect positioning (I was crossing in front of her)
Why I failed:
Too far up in my head
Had nothing to comment on
What I should have done:
Said Hi
Told her she looked cute
Asked her something Generic - in order to get over my anxiety
Missed Opportunity #3
Girl in line
Why I was attracted:
She was alone
She was FACING ME when we were in line (I was in front of her but when I leaned against the railing she would pivot her body toward mine and be looking down at her phone)
What I did:
Nodded my head and smiled
Why I failed:
Didn't say anything
Too scared
What I should have done:
Said Hi
Opportunity #4 (the reason that I am now writing this journal)
Two girls at Starbucks
Why I was attracted:
Both were cute
They sat outside (I was alone outside until they came out and sat with their laptop and coffee)
They sat facing me
Why I failed:
I sat there studying my test material
I let my mind come up with multiple excuses NOT to say anything
I was afraid of approaching two girls in a group
What I did:
I sat there for a good 30 minutes pretending to study. I went back inside the SB to go to the bathroom. When I came out, I met one of the girls eyes and held the contact. I said Hi and started to walk away. Heard both of them say Hi back to me but I had already broken the eye contact.
What I should have done:
Made a comment as soon as they sat down (Hi - nice weather outside for a study sesh huh?)
Made a comment as I said Hi (Hi - You guys studying for something?)
Kept the eye contact throughout the interaction
I hope these will provide motivation for me during future opportunities.
I welcome any and all questions or comments at any time. It would also be nice to hear similar stories of the beginning struggles that people have had. Thanks.
