Time to next?

[Lotus]

Trying to decide what to do with this chick. I'm like 80% about to move on the only thing holding me back is I already hooked up with her this weekend.

Since then our conversation is as follows:

Me: I had a lot of fun this afternoon!
Her: Yea, it was a good time. ( she posted the emoji with the half/knowning smile)
Me: What does your schedule look like this week?
Her: I can do anything after 6
Me: Well I can do Tuesday or Thursday.
Her: Is that your way of asking me out..
Me: call it what you want. but I want to hangout
Her: okay. Im down for something.
Me: My roommate and I just built our entertainment center. come check it out.( this was pretty poor)
Her: your not going to get me into bed that easy
Me: you make it sound like a bad thing? :|
Her: Yea it was awful( nervous face)
Me: I'm sorry to hear that
Her: Not happening again

She showed me her cards by repeatedly telling me that it wasn't happening again. I'm thinking GTFO of dodge, but at the same time she already slept with me once why not again?

input?

I think i could have done better on the texting?

 

[NarrowJ]

Hey brum,

One of two things at play here, probably both, actually:

1) She feels as though she gave it up a bit too easy the first time, and now wants some investment from you before sleeping with you again.

2) She is rejecting the direction you're trying to take the relationship. You're framing it as FWB (i.e., "just come over") and she now wants you to take her out on a date.

Some girls just aren't going to enter what they know is merely going to be a FWB situation (unless the guy is just so sexy they can't resist, or unless the sex was blow-your-mind good).

I think you can meet her for drinks or something, but I foresee a lot of LMR if you do get her back to your place. She's obviously adamantly against just coming straight over to your place. How did you handle things after the first round of sex? Sometimes, if you make the girl feel like it was just a ONS and then you go contacting her again a couple days later wanting to hang out, it'll confuse her. So that could play in too.

I would have handled the texting differently, for sure. Her "You're not going to get into bed that easy" text should have been met with some kind of playful chase frame, like perhaps, "Is that all you can think about? Your mind goes straight to the gutter doesn't it. I just thought we could hang out " and you would have gotten a way better reaction from her than what you did respond with, which made you sound unconfident and uncertain that she actually wants to sleep with you again.

Hope this helps, brum. Keep us updated, should you decide to proceed with her

J.J.

 

[mindful]

My first question would be, what is your intention with this girl? Is it to just fuck her one more time?

Because now she is on the defensive and it seems like an uphill battle to "prove" you want more than just another quick lay.

I like what NarrowJ said as well.

 

[Lotus]

J.J

1) She feels as though she gave it up a bit too easy the first time, and now wants some investment from you before sleeping with you again.

2) She is rejecting the direction you're trying to take the relationship. You're framing it as FWB (i.e., "just come over") and she now wants you to take her out on a date.

Yep. I tried to frame it as much as possible as a FWB relationship. In our initial flirting we went back and forth about me being a prostitute and I was hoping that made my intentions pretty clear. Clearly not very effectively!!

Sometimes, if you make the girl feel like it was just a ONS and then you go contacting her again a couple days later wanting to hang out, it'll confuse her. So that could play in too.

ONS?

I would have handled the texting differently, for sure. Her "You're not going to get into bed that easy" text should have been met with some kind of playful chase frame, like perhaps, "Is that all you can think about? Your mind goes straight to the gutter doesn't it. I just thought we could hang out " and you would have gotten a way better reaction from her than what you did respond with, which made you sound unconfident and uncertain that she actually wants to sleep with you again.

My intention was to come off as a cocky with the meaning of...... You're making it sound like a bad things even though I know you enjoyed it.

Mindful,

My first question would be, what is your intention with this girl? Is it to just fuck her one more time?

I definitly don't want a relationship out of this. She is cool enough to hang out with though. The problem is she wants more investment then I think I am willing to give like J.J mentioned .

After the quoted texts I posted she also followed up with "I am past the stage in my life where I go around having random sex."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud to that beacuse thats exactly where I want to be!

 

[NarrowJ]

brum,

ONS?

ONS = One Night Stand

My intention was to come off as a cocky with the meaning of...... You're making it sound like a bad things even though I know you enjoyed it.

I guessed your intention was different than what the subtext of the message conveyed. You posed it as a question, with the "straight face" emoticon/smiley. The way it came off to me, at least, was that you were were asking if it was good / bad because you weren't sure. Maybe she didn't take your message in the context that I did, but from her reaction I would have guessed that to be the case. Regardless of how you meant it, I still would have went with a different response there (a light, playful chase frame).

But yeah, like you said, your dilemma now is this: "Do you want to spend more time on this one, or focus on other pussy?"

J.J.

 

[Lotus]

JJ

I agree that would have been a much better response in the situation.

Going to sit on it for the weekend and then go from there. Maybe dropping off will get her to chase, if not then oh well

Thanks for the input on this both of you!

Brum

 

[Lotus]

I just let this whole thing end.

She texted me last weekend and then decided to not respond for a day or so. Looks like she tried to reframe it so I would chase and invest. So I did not and I haven't heard from her since.