- Joined
- Dec 20, 2018
- Messages
- 497
Converting this into a FR from my journal because I feel I need some comments on how I could have better pulled this woman back to my place - she was ripe for it, and I did physical/verbal escalation better than I usually do, but still failed.
Last night, I matched with a cute woman my age on Tinder that instantly started messaging me back after I sent out the initial message. I had a date set up with her for tonight within 30 minutes. Sometimes Tinder makes things easier, when I am lucky enough to get a decent match that is willing to play ball. Probably could have even gone for the date THAT NIGHT - but just too damn tired and negative from a bad experience the previous day, and decided to focus on sleeping and exercising today during the day to get myself in a more positive state before going on a date.
Date went well, better the previous dates I've had lately - only because this time I focused on utilizing some physical and verbal sexual escalation. Still was NOT able to extract her back home, which is very unfortunate, but I think I got very close this time.
This woman lives about 40 minutes away. Initially when I was trying to set up the date, I attempted to get her to agree to come to my part of town so I could easily pull her back to my place - she playfully complained about it being too far. Thus I then selected a bar midway between where we lived and she agreed. Only about 20 minutes away from my place, thus a pull home wouldnt be that big of a deal. This is possibly mistake #1 however - I think its much better to have the woman travel, invest, and let her know who is boss from the start. In the future I might try pushing back and see if I can get the woman to agree to the best logistics, before giving in.
I pick out a place for us at the bar where we can sit side-by-side (I realize now just how critical this is for physical escalation). She arrives and is immediately very happy and flirty - I greet with with a cheek-kiss and I can tell she is happy to be there. Face is cute and is exactly like in the pictures - body has a few more pounds that what her pictures let on, but still not a big deal in my book. Definitely a woman I wanted to screw.
There are several points in the conversation where I escalate verbally. I comment that the bar is playing a lot of classic rock that I used to listen to in my teenage years, when I had a lot of "teenage angst and horniness". I then comment that I still have the horniness, just "a little bit more refined". I also get her to talk about how she used to go sailing as a teenager - I ask her about the "sex, drugs, and alcohol" she used to do on the boats - she comments she did but playfully refuses to divulge any details. Both times I can tell she intrigued, and slightly surprised, that I am talking about sex so openly - but of course this is working in my favor.
Another moment is when I correctly guess that she has read "50 Shades of Gray" and I comment about how this is "female porn". I ask her to talk about this book and she does, spending several minutes talking about the plot and why it stimulates her - I tell her this book is "the female sexual fantasy". She playfully hits me (physical escalation) and asks me why I think this is.
I also at one point say "I'm not looking for sex - I'm looking for good sex". She is a bit taken back "I just met you....". Possibly a bit too direct? But nonetheless, the frame of me as a sexual person is established.
The entire time I am also touching her, her legs, shoulder, hair, etc. I tell her she has nice eyes as I am caressing her hands, and it goes silent for a moment. I touch her face, and earrings, and ask where she got them. Things like this.
So, this is the first date in a while where I do both the physical and verbal escalation, much better than in previous times.
After I finish my second beer (stout that I got in a four ounce snifter, whereas she declined a second wine glass), I go for the pull:
Somewhere in this exchange I show my lack of resolve and actually let this fall into silence for a bit while I ask for the check - big mistake (#2)? I let my frame slip in the face of her resistance. I pick it up again:
At this point I have paid the tab, and grab her hand and tell her "lets go" - leading her back to my car. As soon as we are outside the bar she stops me in my tracks and says "not tonight". Then she gets her face in very close to mine, clearly asking to be kissed. I oblige (mistake #3?). I LOVE kissing women, but I constantly feel as if I need to stop doing it in public, especially when they want it.
She is a great kisser. Then she says "keep in touch" and walks off, while I say "see you next time".
Just like that, she is gone.
I didn't bother sending a post-date text - she clearly likes me, and she knows I like her - I will just text her tomorrow or Tuesday and try to get her out again.
Last night, I matched with a cute woman my age on Tinder that instantly started messaging me back after I sent out the initial message. I had a date set up with her for tonight within 30 minutes. Sometimes Tinder makes things easier, when I am lucky enough to get a decent match that is willing to play ball. Probably could have even gone for the date THAT NIGHT - but just too damn tired and negative from a bad experience the previous day, and decided to focus on sleeping and exercising today during the day to get myself in a more positive state before going on a date.
Date went well, better the previous dates I've had lately - only because this time I focused on utilizing some physical and verbal sexual escalation. Still was NOT able to extract her back home, which is very unfortunate, but I think I got very close this time.
This woman lives about 40 minutes away. Initially when I was trying to set up the date, I attempted to get her to agree to come to my part of town so I could easily pull her back to my place - she playfully complained about it being too far. Thus I then selected a bar midway between where we lived and she agreed. Only about 20 minutes away from my place, thus a pull home wouldnt be that big of a deal. This is possibly mistake #1 however - I think its much better to have the woman travel, invest, and let her know who is boss from the start. In the future I might try pushing back and see if I can get the woman to agree to the best logistics, before giving in.
I pick out a place for us at the bar where we can sit side-by-side (I realize now just how critical this is for physical escalation). She arrives and is immediately very happy and flirty - I greet with with a cheek-kiss and I can tell she is happy to be there. Face is cute and is exactly like in the pictures - body has a few more pounds that what her pictures let on, but still not a big deal in my book. Definitely a woman I wanted to screw.
There are several points in the conversation where I escalate verbally. I comment that the bar is playing a lot of classic rock that I used to listen to in my teenage years, when I had a lot of "teenage angst and horniness". I then comment that I still have the horniness, just "a little bit more refined". I also get her to talk about how she used to go sailing as a teenager - I ask her about the "sex, drugs, and alcohol" she used to do on the boats - she comments she did but playfully refuses to divulge any details. Both times I can tell she intrigued, and slightly surprised, that I am talking about sex so openly - but of course this is working in my favor.
Another moment is when I correctly guess that she has read "50 Shades of Gray" and I comment about how this is "female porn". I ask her to talk about this book and she does, spending several minutes talking about the plot and why it stimulates her - I tell her this book is "the female sexual fantasy". She playfully hits me (physical escalation) and asks me why I think this is.
I also at one point say "I'm not looking for sex - I'm looking for good sex". She is a bit taken back "I just met you....". Possibly a bit too direct? But nonetheless, the frame of me as a sexual person is established.
The entire time I am also touching her, her legs, shoulder, hair, etc. I tell her she has nice eyes as I am caressing her hands, and it goes silent for a moment. I touch her face, and earrings, and ask where she got them. Things like this.
So, this is the first date in a while where I do both the physical and verbal escalation, much better than in previous times.
After I finish my second beer (stout that I got in a four ounce snifter, whereas she declined a second wine glass), I go for the pull:
Científico: Well, I think you've had fun talking to me yes?
Her: Yes
Científico: And I think the night is too young to end now yes?
Her: Sure
Científico: Then let's go back to my place where I can put on some good music and I can teach you how to dance
Her: I dont know if we can do that tonight, its Sunday...
Somewhere in this exchange I show my lack of resolve and actually let this fall into silence for a bit while I ask for the check - big mistake (#2)? I let my frame slip in the face of her resistance. I pick it up again:
At this point I have paid the tab, and grab her hand and tell her "lets go" - leading her back to my car. As soon as we are outside the bar she stops me in my tracks and says "not tonight". Then she gets her face in very close to mine, clearly asking to be kissed. I oblige (mistake #3?). I LOVE kissing women, but I constantly feel as if I need to stop doing it in public, especially when they want it.
She is a great kisser. Then she says "keep in touch" and walks off, while I say "see you next time".
Just like that, she is gone.
I didn't bother sending a post-date text - she clearly likes me, and she knows I like her - I will just text her tomorrow or Tuesday and try to get her out again.
