About two weeks ago I matched up with this girl on tinder, beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes. I hit her up and in no time I got the number and proceeded to text her. Even though its against what Chase has said in his articles, I intitated conversation and deep dived her through texting and talking to her on the phone. She told me that she goes to college about 30 mins from my own college but that she lives in CT. Its only about 2 hours away from where I live in NY so its all good. We texted and called for a few days, usually hours at a time and we would text each other all day. I would continuously complicate her, by calling her cute or beautiful and saying little cute stuff (I know I know its not masculine) We also began snap chatting to each other. After a few days and I learned that she was the president of her schools volunteer club and that her schedule is always packed because of it.
About a week into it (still no set date to meet up), and getting to know her I started to develop feelings for her and she felt the same. She asked me if I only wanted sex from her and if my feelings would be different once we meet up. I told her I wanted something serious and that I don't think my feelings would change once we met up. She told me not to hurt her and I told her the same thing because I didn't want my heart broken either. We continued to talk on the phone and text and she had me talk to a few of her girlfriends (to get their seal of approval), and they liked me and told me not to hurt her or break her heart. By this time we established that we would meet up that thursday. After all this time of talking to her and getting to know her, I was starting to get feelings for her and I seriously thought her and I could be together.
During the days before the meet up I guess I was a bit anxious about everything and I started to act a bit insecure about myself (which is not like me at all) because I had feelings for this girl and I didn't want to mess anything up. Eventually thursday came and we met up, her girlfriend drove her to my college and they picked me up. She was just like her pictures and she acted the same way as she did on the phone, very out going and fun. We walked around my campus a bit and I introduced her to one of my close female friends. The whole time we walked around my campus she was touching me and nudging me and playing around with me and so I played back.
We then got into her friends car and met up with her friends boyfriend and we all went to Buffalo Wild Wings, like a double date. She sat next to me at the booth and we proceeded to order our food make conversation. The whole time at the restaurant she is again touching me and holding my hand or trying to tickle me, so I took this as a sign that she's into me. Her best friend and boyfriend go outside for a smoke and her and I are left alone for a little. We talk and I begin to touch her hands and caress her leg a bit. I try to go in for a kiss but she wasn't having it. Eventually the friend comes back and we pay the bill and leave. We decide to go to a local bar that her friend knows and relax for a bit.
In the car on the way to the bar, she grabs my hand and holds onto it. I stroke her leg and i move closer for a kiss. Again she shakes her head no and tells me to wait. We get to the bar and for awhile we are just standing there and its just silent. After awhile we decide to join her friend and we all talk for a bit and her and I make jokes at each other. Eventually I tell her to come out back with me where theres some privacy. We talk about our goals, dreams, family, friends and eventually we discuss us. She says she wants to take things slow and steady and that she doesn't just want me to be a guy that uses her. I tell her Im cool with that. We hug and she begins to like cuddle with me or something and again I go in for a kiss, she tells me I can have one at the end of the night. We go back inside, this time Im a bit annoyed and I'm itching to escalate with this girl. After awhile I tell her to meet me outside and I go there and she follows a min later. I hold her in my arms and I demand my kiss and she says I can have one and so we kiss. Well that one turned into four and then we go back inside.
At this point her friends and even her and referring to us like we are a couple and are going to be together. I'm confused and I'm tired of playing games, so I a get a little stern with her and I ask her what she wants. She says she wants us to be together but she's still thinking. I tell her that I'm a man and that I don't play games and I ask her to REALLY tell me what she wants, and she says she wants me to be her man, but she says that she can only promise that we'll see each other once a week because of her busy schedule and the distance that we live. I knew this already and it was no big deal for me. We both smile and we go on with the night. It starts to get late and so we all get into the car and we head back to drop me off at my school. The car ride there is quiet because we're all exhausted. When we get to my school, I thank her friends for the ride and nice meeting them and I get out the car. She gets out with me and I have her in my arms and we kiss for a bit. I tell her I had a wonderful time and she says she did also. I tell her to text me when she gets back and she gets in the car and leaves.
She texts me that she got back safely and we text each other for a little bit. I ask her why she took long to let me kiss her and she said she didn't want to rush anything. The next day we text and we tell each other how we had fun last night and how it sucks that it ended. That night I had a party to go to and so did she so we didn't talk much. The next day we texted for a bit but she had an open house all day. She texts me that night and says she's working on a paper and we converse for a bit. I call her later that night but her friend answers the phone and tells me that she is sleeping and she'll tell her to text me when she wakes up. She never texted me back or called.
Yesterday she didn't text me all day. I was anxious about whether I should text her or not and I eventually decided to wait for her to text me. Later that night she eventually texts me and says this: "Hey. As much as it kills me to do this you deserve this. You truly are a great amazing guy and you deserve nothing more than to be in a good healthy happy relationship! And one day you will meet the love of your life and you'll be extremely happy. I don't know if I'm scared or if you're just not the one for me but in my heart something's not right. Im truly sorry. Think what you want about me but I had to be honest to you. Im sorry again"
I tell her I'm glad she was honest with me and I wish things could have worked out. She apologizes and I ask her why she says she's scared. She responds: "I hate feeling tied down. I love being free. I hate being afraid of putting down roots and getting them torn up in the end. I have my whole future planned out and I don't need a guy screwing up what I need to do now to achieve those goals. I honestly feel like being single is my only option"
She says she still wants to be friends.
I just need help in figuring out how things got all fu*ked up. I know I did A LOT of stuff that girl chase frowns upon and thats probably what led to this, but the impression that I got when we first started talking was that she wanted something serious. So does this mean that she didn't want anything serious at all in the first place?
I would like to know if theres anything I could do to maybe fix it and at least get like a friends with benefits/hook-up thing going.
Thanks in advice you guys and I apologize for the long length of this.
About a week into it (still no set date to meet up), and getting to know her I started to develop feelings for her and she felt the same. She asked me if I only wanted sex from her and if my feelings would be different once we meet up. I told her I wanted something serious and that I don't think my feelings would change once we met up. She told me not to hurt her and I told her the same thing because I didn't want my heart broken either. We continued to talk on the phone and text and she had me talk to a few of her girlfriends (to get their seal of approval), and they liked me and told me not to hurt her or break her heart. By this time we established that we would meet up that thursday. After all this time of talking to her and getting to know her, I was starting to get feelings for her and I seriously thought her and I could be together.
During the days before the meet up I guess I was a bit anxious about everything and I started to act a bit insecure about myself (which is not like me at all) because I had feelings for this girl and I didn't want to mess anything up. Eventually thursday came and we met up, her girlfriend drove her to my college and they picked me up. She was just like her pictures and she acted the same way as she did on the phone, very out going and fun. We walked around my campus a bit and I introduced her to one of my close female friends. The whole time we walked around my campus she was touching me and nudging me and playing around with me and so I played back.
We then got into her friends car and met up with her friends boyfriend and we all went to Buffalo Wild Wings, like a double date. She sat next to me at the booth and we proceeded to order our food make conversation. The whole time at the restaurant she is again touching me and holding my hand or trying to tickle me, so I took this as a sign that she's into me. Her best friend and boyfriend go outside for a smoke and her and I are left alone for a little. We talk and I begin to touch her hands and caress her leg a bit. I try to go in for a kiss but she wasn't having it. Eventually the friend comes back and we pay the bill and leave. We decide to go to a local bar that her friend knows and relax for a bit.
In the car on the way to the bar, she grabs my hand and holds onto it. I stroke her leg and i move closer for a kiss. Again she shakes her head no and tells me to wait. We get to the bar and for awhile we are just standing there and its just silent. After awhile we decide to join her friend and we all talk for a bit and her and I make jokes at each other. Eventually I tell her to come out back with me where theres some privacy. We talk about our goals, dreams, family, friends and eventually we discuss us. She says she wants to take things slow and steady and that she doesn't just want me to be a guy that uses her. I tell her Im cool with that. We hug and she begins to like cuddle with me or something and again I go in for a kiss, she tells me I can have one at the end of the night. We go back inside, this time Im a bit annoyed and I'm itching to escalate with this girl. After awhile I tell her to meet me outside and I go there and she follows a min later. I hold her in my arms and I demand my kiss and she says I can have one and so we kiss. Well that one turned into four and then we go back inside.
At this point her friends and even her and referring to us like we are a couple and are going to be together. I'm confused and I'm tired of playing games, so I a get a little stern with her and I ask her what she wants. She says she wants us to be together but she's still thinking. I tell her that I'm a man and that I don't play games and I ask her to REALLY tell me what she wants, and she says she wants me to be her man, but she says that she can only promise that we'll see each other once a week because of her busy schedule and the distance that we live. I knew this already and it was no big deal for me. We both smile and we go on with the night. It starts to get late and so we all get into the car and we head back to drop me off at my school. The car ride there is quiet because we're all exhausted. When we get to my school, I thank her friends for the ride and nice meeting them and I get out the car. She gets out with me and I have her in my arms and we kiss for a bit. I tell her I had a wonderful time and she says she did also. I tell her to text me when she gets back and she gets in the car and leaves.
She texts me that she got back safely and we text each other for a little bit. I ask her why she took long to let me kiss her and she said she didn't want to rush anything. The next day we text and we tell each other how we had fun last night and how it sucks that it ended. That night I had a party to go to and so did she so we didn't talk much. The next day we texted for a bit but she had an open house all day. She texts me that night and says she's working on a paper and we converse for a bit. I call her later that night but her friend answers the phone and tells me that she is sleeping and she'll tell her to text me when she wakes up. She never texted me back or called.
Yesterday she didn't text me all day. I was anxious about whether I should text her or not and I eventually decided to wait for her to text me. Later that night she eventually texts me and says this: "Hey. As much as it kills me to do this you deserve this. You truly are a great amazing guy and you deserve nothing more than to be in a good healthy happy relationship! And one day you will meet the love of your life and you'll be extremely happy. I don't know if I'm scared or if you're just not the one for me but in my heart something's not right. Im truly sorry. Think what you want about me but I had to be honest to you. Im sorry again"
I tell her I'm glad she was honest with me and I wish things could have worked out. She apologizes and I ask her why she says she's scared. She responds: "I hate feeling tied down. I love being free. I hate being afraid of putting down roots and getting them torn up in the end. I have my whole future planned out and I don't need a guy screwing up what I need to do now to achieve those goals. I honestly feel like being single is my only option"
She says she still wants to be friends.
I just need help in figuring out how things got all fu*ked up. I know I did A LOT of stuff that girl chase frowns upon and thats probably what led to this, but the impression that I got when we first started talking was that she wanted something serious. So does this mean that she didn't want anything serious at all in the first place?
I would like to know if theres anything I could do to maybe fix it and at least get like a friends with benefits/hook-up thing going.
Thanks in advice you guys and I apologize for the long length of this.
