Tinder interaction needs troubleshooting

[naughtycal]

Hi, I recently had this brief conversation on tinder and I must say I haven't encountered that level of dismissiveness in a long time. I am wondering if I did something wrong but I can't think of anything so your thoughts would be appreciated. After all the girl swiped right so there must be some interest...

ME: Hi!
she didn't reply, so tried again the next day in the evening
ME: What brings you to (town)?
HER: Destiny. What about you?
ME: Something similar. Originally I came for my studies. So what are you doing now in this town?
HER: just getting on with my life
ME: how do you like it here?
HER: I'm doing all right don't worry
ME: I don't doubt it
HER: lol
ME: What part of town do you live in?
HER: near X university
ME: oh cool ! Are you studying there?
HER: not really. You ask too many questions
ME: well you kinda offer me no alternative lol. But if you want I can read you a story
HER: lol. You think I'm just a kid uh
ME: I don't know, I never me you. You should tell me...
HER: Lol fuck off

 

[andersen09]

Hi, I recently had this brief conversation on tinder and I must say I haven't encountered that level of dismissiveness in a long time. I am wondering if I did something wrong but I can't think of anything so your thoughts would be appreciated. After all the girl swiped right so there must be some interest...

ME: Hi!
she didn't reply, so tried again the next day in the evening
ME: What brings you to (town)?
HER: Destiny. What about you?
ME: Something similar. Originally I came for my studies. So what are you doing now in this town?
HER: just getting on with my life
ME: how do you like it here?
HER: I'm doing all right don't worry
ME: I don't doubt it
HER: lol
ME: What part of town do you live in?
HER: near X university
ME: oh cool ! Are you studying there?
HER: not really. You ask too many questions
ME: well you kinda offer me no alternative lol. But if you want I can read you a story
HER: lol. You think I'm just a kid uh
ME: I don't know, I never me you. You should tell me...
HER: Lol fuck off

Overall, it's her perception of you type of deal. Read the attainability articles by Chase.
She matched you to see from more of a "let's see what this guy's like" type of skeptical frame.
And because most dudes on Tinder act like basic fuckboys, most women on Tinder are very wary and tend do be defensive and give a lot of shit.
So based on the types of responses you gave her, it reminded her of men she's dealt with in the past from Tinder and put you in that train of those guys.

If's she's spitting out lame answers like "Destiny" when you ask her a question, that tells you she's not taking you too seriously.
Meaning, imagine if (an extreme example) Brad Pitt asked her a question like, what brings you to town?
She wouldn't say "Oh you know, destiny" There's no way in hell.

So it's a bit tricky for me to say what caused this because I don't know how you presented yourself in pictures.
But it's the perception she made of you BEFORE you sent the message.
She obviously matched you because she liked something, but just giving you a little chance to see how you'll react.

But I can say.

1. Get better pictures that shows a you're a man who contributes value to the society (Professionally Done)
(Pre-Selection, Having Fun, Surrounded by Cool people, Dressed Nice, Sharp Grooming, Etc Etc)
2. When she gives you a lame answer like Destiny, challenge her. But before you CHALLENGE her, you have to get NUMBER 1 DOWN, because having the authority to be a challenge comes with territory.

(Extreme Example) Imagine a high school janitor challenging Donald Trump he shouldn't be a president versus Hilary Clinton challenging him.

So she has to perceive that you're a certain value. And because a girl on Tinder gets so many fucking matches, she doesn't have time to be like, "let me give this young man some about 10 minutes of the time" Nope. She goes this is a fuckboy (not the good type of fuckboy), onto my next 999 matches I have.

So get your PICTURES done off the wall good.

2. Once you have a stage to challenge someone, grill her like chase says.

Boy: What made you move here?
Girl: Destiny
Boy: Oh not again, please don't tell me you're one of those types of girls.

That's just a simple example.

Hope this helps.

 

[PrettyDecent]

naughtycal,

It's generally good form to flirt before you start asking personal questions. Flirting gets her excited to know you.

Some of my Tinder interactions start like:
"Beer and gym are like my key activation words. Not fair " (since she mentioned her interest in beer and gym in the profile)

Also good to qualify her. Qualifying meaning finding a real reason to be interested in her. If you're needy (as understandably, most men in PUA are), you'll be interested in any and every good looking girl. Girls know this. And they know that you'll also put up with their bullshit, if they dish it out to you, because you have no other options.

If you qualify her, you're basically saying, "Hey, you got this cool thing going on with your life that I find fascinating, and I'd really like to get to know you now". She's earned your interest. Look for qualities that you like in a girl (i.e. ambitious, smart, curious, feminine, driven, etc.), and then start showing interest when you find those.

If you flirt and qualify BEFORE asking personal questions, you'll usually start off on the right foot.

If you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer.

Nick

 

[naughtycal]

[
Overall, it's her perception of you type of deal. Read the attainability articles by Chase.
She matched you to see from more of a "let's see what this guy's like" type of skeptical frame.
And because most dudes on Tinder act like basic fuckboys, most women on Tinder are very wary and tend do be defensive and give a lot of shit.
So based on the types of responses you gave her, it reminded her of men she's dealt with in the past from Tinder and put you in that train of those guys.

If's she's spitting out lame answers like "Destiny" when you ask her a question, that tells you she's not taking you too seriously.
Meaning, imagine if (an extreme example) Brad Pitt asked her a question like, what brings you to town?
She wouldn't say "Oh you know, destiny" There's no way in hell.

So it's a bit tricky for me to say what caused this because I don't know how you presented yourself in pictures.
But it's the perception she made of you BEFORE you sent the message.
She obviously matched you because she liked something, but just giving you a little chance to see how you'll react.

But I can say.

1. Get better pictures that shows a you're a man who contributes value to the society (Professionally Done)
(Pre-Selection, Having Fun, Surrounded by Cool people, Dressed Nice, Sharp Grooming, Etc Etc)
2. When she gives you a lame answer like Destiny, challenge her. But before you CHALLENGE her, you have to get NUMBER 1 DOWN, because having the authority to be a challenge comes with territory.

(Extreme Example) Imagine a high school janitor challenging Donald Trump he shouldn't be a president versus Hilary Clinton challenging him.

So she has to perceive that you're a certain value. And because a girl on Tinder gets so many fucking matches, she doesn't have time to be like, "let me give this young man some about 10 minutes of the time" Nope. She goes this is a fuckboy (not the good type of fuckboy), onto my next 999 matches I have.

So get your PICTURES done off the wall good.

2. Once you have a stage to challenge someone, grill her like chase says.

Boy: What made you move here?
Girl: Destiny
Boy: Oh not again, please don't tell me you're one of those types of girls.

That's just a simple example.

Hope this helps.

Thanks! Well I'm probably not objective but I think my pictures are fine and they certainly don't represent me as an average fuckboy which I'm not. Do you think the way I replied put me in that category? After all, all I did was ask her questions, which I thought would make her open up. I must say I can't understand why anyone would react the way she did and, more importantly, how should I react if something like that happens again. By the way she still hasn't unmatched me...

naughtycal,

It's generally good form to flirt before you start asking personal questions. Flirting gets her excited to know you.

Some of my Tinder interactions start like:
"Beer and gym are like my key activation words. Not fair " (since she mentioned her interest in beer and gym in the profile)

Also good to qualify her. Qualifying meaning finding a real reason to be interested in her. If you're needy (as understandably, most men in PUA are), you'll be interested in any and every good looking girl. Girls know this. And they know that you'll also put up with their bullshit, if they dish it out to you, because you have no other options.

If you qualify her, you're basically saying, "Hey, you got this cool thing going on with your life that I find fascinating, and I'd really like to get to know you now". She's earned your interest. Look for qualities that you like in a girl (i.e. ambitious, smart, curious, feminine, driven, etc.), and then start showing interest when you find those.

If you flirt and qualify BEFORE asking personal questions, you'll usually start off on the right foot.

If you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer.

Nick

Nick, thanks for the reply. I agree about flirting and qualifying, but that can be difficult in online dating as you have to rely on just a few pictures and some very basic introduction if any. In this case, she said something like "Hey I'm so and so from X country, hit me up if you wanna hang out". Do you think my questions happened too soon? Anyway I'll keep that in mind for next time.

 

[ProblemSolving]

I am wondering if I did something wrong but I can't think of anything so your thoughts would be appreciated.

You didn't do anything wrong, she just didn't like some of your pics.

After all the girl swiped right so there must be some interest...

Maybe she liked your profile pic, but when she looked at your others pics, she lost interest. A lot of girls will swipe without looking at all your pics.

ME: Hi!
she didn't reply, so tried again the next day in the evening

Put a LITTLE bit of effort into the opener. Ask her anything to prompt her to respond. "Hi" doesn't prompt anyone to respond. I don't even respond to girls that reply with "Hi".

ME: What brings you to (town)?

Perfectly fine.

HER: Destiny. What about you?

Response is short. Interest is low, it has to do with your pics, not your words.

ME: Something similar. Originally I came for my studies. So what are you doing now in this town?

Pretty much the same question again, but like I said, it's not the questions that are the problem.

HER: just getting on with my life

Another short response. Now she doesn't even try to continue the conversation. Her interest is flatlined. At this point, you should not try to force conversation. Force her to make a decision about you, so she doesn't waste your time.

I usually go with, "That's cool. Hey, I'm just about to make dinner and put on a movie, you're welcome to join me " or "That's cool. Would you like to grab drinks sometime?"

That's it! If she's interested, she'll agree. If she's not, she'll make excuses or get lost. WIN-WIN.

 

[naughtycal]

On opening with just "hi", I know. I've been thinking about it but I can't bring myself to use more elaborate lines. They just sound too rehearsed and high effort and make me feel ungenuine.
The girl still hasn't unmatched me. Should I try again or would you say it's too late?

 

[ProblemSolving]

On opening with just "hi", I know. I've been thinking about it but I can't bring myself to use more elaborate lines. They just sound too rehearsed and high effort and make me feel ungenuine.

Correct. It doesn't have to be elaborate, in fact, in shouldn't be, but you don't greet a good friend of yours with "Hi" so don't do it with strangers.

ME: What brings you to (town)?

This would work fine. "Hey Jessica, what brings you to (town)?" or "Hey Jessica, what are you up to?"

You basically just give her something to talk about.

The girl still hasn't unmatched me. Should I try again or would you say it's too late?

Haha you can give it a shot, but your odds of meeting her are about 0.01%

 

[naughtycal]

As a matter of fact my go to line is "Hi what's up". It's just the "you look like a girl with a dark secret" kind of lines I really can't stand. So how would you go about trying to rekindle that thing?

 

[ProblemSolving]

As a matter of fact my go to line is "Hi what's up".

Yeah, that's fine. The words barely matter, your pics do 95% of the heavy lifting. Your words can lower your chances of seeing her, but they won't improve them.

It's just the "you look like a girl with a dark secret" kind of lines I really can't stand.

Indeed. Any girl with a bit of experience with online dating apps has heard every gamey opener a million times, so just talk to her like a normal person.

So how would you go about trying to rekindle that thing?

I wouldn't. She wasn't interested and was kind of rude, so I wouldn't waste my time.

I have laid girls who have ignored my initial opener the odd time, but it wasn't because they weren't interested. My message just got lost in all the spam they receive from thirsty guys, so it ends up looking like this:

PS: "Hey Kayla, what's up!

(a few days later)

PS: "Hey Kayla "

Kayla: "Hey PS, just getting home from work. How bout you?"