Tinder pic with a girl hugged up on me — multiple possibilities!

[ThePhoenix]

 
While I strongly prefer day game and it has shown promise, Iʼm about to give Tinder a quick try for amassing more positive reference points while I try to overcome approach anxiety.

Iʼm right now preparing pics.

One Iʼd like to use is from a while back when I was participating in a cultural event. Itʼs of me with a girl hugged up on my side, both of us in costumes, outside, with other event participants off in the background. These costumes show a lot of skin, especially on her. Itʼs a fairly attractive girl and she looks quite friendly with me. The girl herself and the event weʼre in both speak to the demographic Iʼm going for, and my involvement also carries a degree of social proof and novelty seeking. I also had some half‑decent lean muscle going on at the time (Iʼm scrawny again now, lol).

Unfortunately, I only have a very small handful of preselection pics, and this is one of the best, so I think I should include it.

Iʼve read some advice against putting other girls in dating pics, but honestly, that advice just seems to follow the same “thou shalt not” and “happily ever after” bullshit mentality that kept me lightyears away from pussy for far too many years. I expect cute girls can only help you!!

With that said, Iʼm not sure if a one-on-one pic with another girl is going a little too far.

Iʼm tempted to think itʼs not, if sheʼs not in any of your other pics (and sheʼs not). Also, the poses in this shot seem fairly useful to me. Itʼs not like a lovey-dovey couple type picture. If anything, she looks possibly more into me whereas Iʼm a little nonchalant. It so happens that I was quite a bit more concerned with a couple other girls and didnʼt even really think to hit on this one, thus the nonchalance.

There is of course the matter of whether I can use her picture (especially in this context) ethically. This chick was basically just a friend of one of my female friends. She was in our group on this occasion, but outside of that day, weʼve never spoken. Well, the costume is covering half her face including her eyes (unlike my costume, which didnʼt cover my face), and I also edited out some unique markings on her, so itʼs not like sheʼs that identifiable anyway.


Which Version of The Pic Should I Use?

(All of these edits are already done except for the emoji one, so effort doesnʼt factor into the decision.)

1. The enhanced original. (I made a bunch of painstaking enhancements in Photoshop to remove some flaws from both of us and simulate better photographic technique as it had originally been a quick phone snapshot.) Very tempting.
   
   
2. With her face blurred out and “This could be You!” over top in a party font and coloured to match her costume. (Not my original idea.) Itʼs kinda clever but Iʼm not in love with it. I also somehow feel that it subtly suggests Iʼm looking for a girlfriend, which is terrible for game.
   
   
3. With an emoji covering her face. Seems kinda corny. (And leads to a whole slew of questions, like which emoji to use, do I do a skin-tone match since sheʼs a black girl, etc. etc.) I like the next option a lot better.
   
   
4. With an artistic effect that hides certain fine detail including her head. Inspired by remarks that blurring out peopleʼs faces looks creepy, I tried a different approach. It kind of looks like sheʼs partially a cartoon drawing. There is a gradual and fairly subtle transition from cartoon to photographic, and the cartoon effect blends well with the photo. Her head, much of her upper body, part of my upper body, and parts of our costumes are cartoon. But her purse, arm, the visible part of her lower body, and the outermost extents of her costume are photographic (hopefully enough to make it clear the cutie isnʼt fictitious). It looks really neat, actually.
   
   
5. With the girl mostly hidden behind a wet/steamy window. A simple “failed crop-out” would have wrecked this shot and/or given it an unworkable aspect ratio, so I got really creative with Photoshop and produced what is almost a new photo.
   
   In this photo, the photographer is standing on the opposite side of a very large sheet of glass, and instead of it being a portrait-oriented shot with the girl and I collectively centered, it is now a square shot, myself just a little off center, and the girl off to one side. On the other side about three feet from me is another guy who was not in the original shot, wearing the same costume as me (normal for this event).
   
   The guy is actually me with head and arm reoriented and skin darkened (for further differentiation and because white guys are fairly rare at this event) — but you canʼt tell itʼs me, because the photo is heavily distorted by water/mist on the glass, like someone had just taken a shower. It looks like someone had then whimsically squeegeed an area down the middle third of the shot. Obviously this makes me clear, plus just a little piece of the girlʼs face. The girlʼs basic figure is still obvious through the wet area, and some well-placed subtle smudges help her bum show through just a touch more.
   
   I took some pains to make this look real and not like a filter, including specular flaring, uneven squeegeeing, drips down the squeegee track, runs of coalesced droplets, and some spots where someone had wiped the water with their fingers.  LOL.. it looks pretty amazing, actually. Given that water was part of the eventʼs theme, you could easily figure this was real. I even added reflections in the glass, and at that point, very few people would realize itʼs fake, although I think the reflections actually detract slightly from the aesthetic quality.
   
   The downside to this clever remix is that itʼs not as aesthetically tidy as the original, especially considering the lens blur I had painstakingly added that makes the two of us really pop from the rest of the scene. The new image is busy and awkwardly composed by comparison. Also, the pretty girl and her costume add to the picture, so covering them up is a bit of a shame. Also, the wet window effect is so realistic that it looks like I actually had a picture taken that sidelined the girl, which is a little bizarre!

What To Say About The Pic?

Iʼve read that girls might ask about the girl in the pic!

Oh, jeez. I donʼt know how to deal with that!

I canʼt bloody well tell the truth. Implicitly admitting that youʼve never fucked any given chick does absolutely nothing for your game... well, nothing good, anyway.

I canʼt claim to have fucked her, either!

Instinct tells me to not say either way. Leave the girl wondering.

But Iʼm not sure just how to do that, especially considering that I have to suspect some girls will persist because they want to know if youʼre single or if youʼre in a relationship and cheating on your girl.

Well, at least I know how to answer if she asks directly if I have a girlfriend. “Actually, I have seven. One for Monday, one for Tuesday...”  LMAO

But in this case sheʼs more liable to ask, “Is that your girlfriend?”, or “Is that your ex?” or “Who is that girl?” Iʼm not sure how to answer or even evade those questions with the right balance of promiscuity, plausible deniability, trustworthiness, etc....
 
 

 

[JacobPalmer]

Here's the short answer - you do not want to use this picture. It's not good enough of a "I did the best crop I could but she's still in my picture." Girls don't want to see you with another girl in your pictures if you're on a dating app. If it's instagram or FB then that's fine, it's normal. Because if you use it on a dating app they're going to think either she's your good friend and look down on you, or think you specifically chose this picture to show other people that girls like you, which will do exactly the opposite of what you want. So don't use it, and don't use any of the "cropped out face" ideas you were thinking of. If you do use it, know that you're using it at your own risk. But I'm certain it will not do you any good.

Sorry to rain on your parade. :S

 

[ThePhoenix]

JP,

Thank you for the feedback!

I see what youʼre saying about flaunting the girl possibly backfiring, so Iʼll most likely avoid having her largely within the frame. (Photofeeler did, however, rank pics with her in the frame fairly high within my present photos, particularly the one with the original composition but a gradual subtle cartoon effect on her face and upper body, which is right now my 5th best picture out of 52 pictures, according to that siteʼs “Attractive” rating.)

Despite my feeling that the photo would be ruined if I tried a more actual “failed crop‑out”, I was able to do it with a bit of care without it looking too terrible. The shot ends up a little too vertical even for the zoomed Tinder card, but I fixed that by using a blurred blow‑up of some of the costume texture as side bars, and the result is passable though slightly awkward in composition. Its Photofeeler score was lower than the one where I didnʼt try to remove the girl at all, however.

In that crop‑out, I tried to keep her existence really subtle. Thereʼs just a little bit of her (fake) hair, and just a tiny little sliver of skin from her face just on the edge of the photo, and being a black girl that also blends in with the hair. You canʼt really see any facial features. I was trying to keep her presence kind of subliminal.

The upside of that particular crop is that Iʼm quite confident that few if any women are going to think I was trying to show off my having a girl beside me. There were no catty remarks by Photofeeler voters about having another woman in oneʼs dating photos, whereas I usually do see such a comment when the girl is obviously within the frame.

The downside is that the girl may have no effect at all! On first glance, I donʼt even notice sheʼs even there. Of course, it could be argued that youʼre not supposed to notice because itʼs supposed to be unconscious. Girls are Iʼm sure more attuned to noticing these things than I am. So maybe thatʼs fine.

OTOH, Colt has suggested having just a hint of a smiling girl. Well, the way I have her cropped off right now, you donʼt even see that sheʼs smiling, although she was. I felt that if I moved the edge over enough to see that sheʼs smiling, itʼs reached the point that youʼre going to notice more consciously that thereʼs a girl there, and I didnʼt want to do that based on your warning against the girlʼs inclusion looking intentional.

Itʼd be nice if there were some example images demonstrating what is a good “failed crop‑out”.

Phoenix

 

[foggy]

if you were to share the picture i could tell you whether its usable or not. you got to keep in mind that its not just about the picture itself...how does it fit in with your bio and the rest of your pics?

if the girl is a girl that the majority of guys would go desperate for, then ya, definitely consider using it. if you are displaying higher value behavior than her in the image then yeah definitely consider using it. if a girl would look at it and think "wow that guy is super dominant" then definitely use it.

but the best way to do it is just to test. i tried out a pic of me and my female roommate as my 3rd image and it worked very well. some girls asked about it and i was honest and told them it was my roommate. some girls wouldnt ask initially but it would inevitably come up during objection handling ie

girl: do you live alone or with roommates
fog: a roommate...she likes the spice girls too so you two might get along
girl: oh is that the girl in your picture?
fog: ya we've known each other for ages. shes like my lil sister.
girl: awww!!!
fog: ya youre not a serial killer right? not sure if we'd appreciate that so soon to christmas

 

[naturalmikey]

i once had a picture staged where i was sitting with four girls at a table and they were all looking at me. it looked very candid. that's cool. i also did one with my friends girlfriends huge fake boob up against me, but i cropped everything else out. these work great. but if you're posing looking at the camera with a girl by your side doing the same, that's not good.

 

[foggy]

yo phoenix so I got your pics and ill share my observations here for everybody

I would advise against using the picture in question

At first glance it looks like she is baring her teeth a little - almost as if she doesn’t wanna be there. It could be perceived that way, especially with the way she’s pressed up against you. I tried looking at her eyes, because we all know a real smile is in the eyes, but she’s got glasses on ...

Her huge feathers are getting in the way of your head, causing your head to tilt at an odd angle - your head doesn't normally tilt like that, right?

The second picture is much more usable. The chick hugging you looks fucking cock drunk over you, man. Thats good shit. you look quite happy as well. But would have preferred if you were emotionless, and caring less. Less effort, remember.

 

[ThePhoenix]

i once had a picture staged where i was sitting with four girls at a table and they were all looking at me. it looked very candid.

Cool idea!


@fog -

Thanks for checking out the pics!

At first glance it looks like she is baring her teeth a little — almost as if she doesn’t wanna be there. It could be perceived that way, especially with the way she’s pressed up against you.

I totally didnʼt notice that, but now that you mention it, I see what youʼre saying.

Her huge feathers are getting in the way of your head, causing your head to tilt at an odd angle — your head doesnʼt normally tilt like that, right?

LOL... good catch, also. Well, when I was initially going through these pics, I kind of perceived my pose moreso as being a bit detached from her. It was a while back, but now that you mention it, I vaguely remember our costumes getting in the way of posing with her, and I can sort of see it in the picture now that you mention it.

I finally understand what the Photofeeler comments about my “seeming a bit uncomfortable” actually meant. Thanks, man! The voters tend to get lazy and just insert the standard push‑button comments instead of explaining themselves specifically.

The second picture is much more usable. The chick hugging you looks fucking cock drunk over you, man. Thats good shit.

Whatʼs strange is that Photofeeler scores the first picture as significantly better, in spite of a couple comments about being “awkward” and “uncomfortable”. But then, Iʼve had some doubts about the relevance of Photofeeler scores.

But would have preferred if you were emotionless, and caring less. Less effort, remember.

Yup, absolutely. I wasnʼt really thinking seduction when that picture was taken. Iʼd literally just been pulled over to pose with the ladies by a tourist who was taking their picture. lol. These days Iʼd be more likely to pay attention to stuff like that at all times, though.

Cheers!
Phoenix