Tinder Tips and Tricks

[Bboy100]

Note: These are all under the presumption that you have a good profile set up. If you're profile is shitty, I don't know what kind of reception these will get

1. My favorite opener [Credit to Colt Williams "Lyrics Opener!]:
At first, I was afraid, I was petrified...
She'll typically follow up with:
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
My response to that is:
Aww that's so sweet! But you're gonna have to at least buy me coffee first! [Winking, blushing, tongue out emoji & Laughing emoji]

From here on out, you can continue bantering if you want. But only for a few more messages. Any more than that and its just a waste of time. In fact, you can often skip bantering altogether. Tbh, its mostly supplementary online.


2. Once you've bantered a little bit, to start building rapport:
"So tel me about yourself. What kinds of things are you passionate about?"


3. If you asked a question she quits replying:
Its a secret? k. I promise I won't ask again! [Laughing emoji] <-----Wait a while, like a full day before doing this. Sometimes, girls will log in and not reply cause they're busy or they don't feel like it or w.e. And it can come off as needy. So make sure she has no intention of replying before writing this. Its hit rate is low, but it does sometimes get her back into the conversation. And I think for that, its worth it.


4. Moments: Cool moments will sometimes
1. Get girls to open you!
2. Will prime girls you haven't messaged yet for you.
3. Get girls who recently stopped replying to message you back.

Examples of cool moments include but are not limited to:
1. Funny memes
2. Travel pictures
3. Interesting news (ex. I once screenshotted an article explaining that Leonardo DiCaprio is on Tinder]. Keep in mind that "interesting" is very subjective to your audience. If you're matching with women in their 30s, I'm sure "interesting news" that I post will be irrelevant or annoying and vice versa.
4. Something funny IRL (ex. I once found a picture of a van painted like the truck in Scooby Doo and took a picture of it.)
5. Relationship advice for girls? <----I haven't tested this one out yet. But I feel like it'll be a good one.


5. When scheduling dates:
1. Assert a place and time. If she's not down, try to figure out what works with her schedule.
2. Don't schedule it for more than a few days after you've messaged her. If its like a week later or w.e. , she'll usually flake.
3. Make it simple (i.e. stick to Chase's date format).


6. Use emojis and exclamation marks whenever possible. Yes it does make you sound more feminine. But it also makes you seem less threatening and adds personality. And remember, a girl on Tinder's #1 and #2 fears are that she's going to get raped/murdered/stalked etc. and that its going to be super awkward/boring. This helps mitigate both of those (at least a little bit)

Feel free to add anything else you guys have discovered to this thread.

 

[Bboy100]

Sorry for the long post. I got a little carried away. Haha

I get lots of numbers from tinder, a decent amount of them agree to a meet, and a lot have flaked the day of meeting.

I just recently solved this problem. For me, it was related to the amount of time that passed between asking them out and the actual date.

"great, when are you free?"

. I used to use this line too. The problem with it is that she'll usually say "sometime next week" or "x day next week" etc. This is too long. They either forget you exist or they no longer feel excited about going out with you or decide they don't want to meet you for some other reason.

I solved this by saying. "Ok, great, let's do x on y day".
ex Ok, great! Let's grab coffee on Wednesday!

It'll usually schedule for the same night or 1-2 days after. I dunno why girls don't suggest meeting earlier themselves. I guess they put it off for whatever reason. But in any case, they usually say yes when I suggest it. If they say they're busy, then I'll send them the "Ok, what day would work best for you" text. As a general rule, the sooner you get them out, the less likely they are to flake. If the wait between asking them out and the day you're supposed to meet is longer than 2 or 3 days, they'll flake like, 90% of the time.

Having said that, this only minimizes flaking. It still happens extremely often. So yeah, it is just a part of the game. :/

Also timing for me is important for me. The first couple of messages I usually rapid fire, then just go to an about an hour between response times. Always wait to next day after getting # to text. It's kind of a feeling thing too.

I've played around with this a little bit. What I have noticed is that if I was previously replying instantly, and all of us sudden, I wait an hour or two to reply (usually because I'm actually busy), she'll reply a lot quicker than she was before.

Ex. I reply instantly, she replies one hour later. I wait two hours, she replies instantly.

Having said that, I'm not sure if this has an effect on actual results. That is to say, I haven't noticed "replying speed" influence the number of actual dates I get. Only the speed at which they reply back.

But what I can say is that I think that for some girls, its more important how much time passes between first message and asking her out. Ex. If we have a convo that is 10 messages each in 10 mins, she's less likely to say yes to a date than she is to the same convo spread out over the course of a day or two.

Summary:
Once I get a number I don't log back in til the number is dead.

I used to do this too. I was scared of girls going into autorejection. But tbh, it mostly doesn't seem to be a problem because:
1. Most girls also log in after they've given out their #
2. They don't seem to give a shit anyways. I've never had a girl stop replying specifically after I logged into Tinder.

With the exception of one girl who I was in a short-term relationship with. But she hadn't been logged in for like, a month. When she finally did log in, I had completely revamped my profile and she saw I had been online like, 2 hrs ago. lol. So I feel like that's different.

Summary:
I also only swipe right for girls that I genuinely think are hot. However, in person they are always way less good looking. Always.

I feel like this is a waste of time unless you run out of likes (I pay only $3 a mo for Tinder Plus, so I don't have that issue). I find it much easier to just swipe right on everyone than choose which ones you like from the girls you match with.

And yes, I've noticed that most girls seem a lot hotter online than in person too.




As for your specific tactics/messages, I haven't really tried any of that before. But I'm guessing if it works for you, it'll work for anyone with a profile of equal or greater quality.
But it seems like the basic premise of what we do is pretty much the same. The only difference between us is that you grab a phone number mid convo. I only get it once she's agreed to schedule a date if ever (In fact, there's this one girl I hooked up with and I literally never got her # lol).

On paper, it seems like getting her # should help because its investment+ it labels you as "different from all those other Tinder guys trying to get her attention". But in practice, I've tried both tactics, and it honestly doesn't seem to make too much of a difference.

 

[mb1]

Nice, bout time we pooled some thought into this. Tinder's fucking insane. POF is kinda bottom barrel (except for some gems - so no offense to any ladies reading lol). Tinder has everyone, and though some girls are focused on provider finding, it does have a sexual stigma so most girl are just out of relationships, etc. With discretion and close distance built in, I'm surprised this hasn't been talked about more. It's almost making it too easy lol and is going to delay me from doing well at day game because a lot of that is walking around to find girls who are interested and available, whereas this screening has been stacking up in my phone all day lol.

So here's how I do it - basically combining sexual innuendo and deep diving, so there's no dialogue to replicate here.

Step one seems to be disqualifying as a boyfriend in the profile, so every girl who swipes is at a baseline OK with talking to you knowing you are absolutely not going to commit for whatever reason (moving away being the simplest to barely have to talk about). Some girls even say on their profile that they're not looking for a hookup, but not a soulmate either. They're actually open about wanting FWB but still want to be seduced and connected with instead of booty-called. It may be my profile and girls I'm matching cause it's not a "here-to-fuck" profile. Maybe pics of my bondage shit would do some different screening, but the girls have been friendly, educated, normal, etc.

So here are a few examples that have worked, always based off something from her profile and/or a picture, including innuendo asap and always moving towards logistics:

1. Her profile: "Absolutely nothing to declare" and a pic of Disney.
Me: Say that at the border and you might be getting frisked. Sounds like something to hide how was Disney [name]?
Her: Its a 2 year old picture, but it was good. i love it there. How are u?

2. Her profile: engineer who wants an "expert cuddler"
Me: Lady engineers were rare on campus. I've never cuddled [name]... sounds hard. Are you good at it?
Her: Haha so good, but I'm very picky
Me: Like sharp and prickly? I'm not sold
Her: No picky! Not prickly
Me: Oh, what's it feel like?
Her: ?
Me: Cuddling, does it hurt?
Her: Nope never

deep diving...
[...]
Me: Are you closer to [place or place]. Let's eat some injera
Her: Haha I'm [blah blah lives on x street]

3. Me: Hey [ethnic name]. Hindu or Sikh at all?
Her: Haha, get right to it eh, Sikh, What sect of Christianity do you follow lol
Me: Yep, north Indian monotheistic then right? Tantric Daoism
Her: Do you have a PhD in religious studies or smtg? Lol of course you seem a bit eccentric
Me: And you like that? Not really religious. Look up tantra. Does it guide your life?
Her: Yup I love phds . Haha I know what that is. I don't do anything so I don't really even call myself Sikh
Me: Meant eccentric hah I'm far from a theology prof but I'm glad you won't have more than one god saying stay away from me. Tell me what it is you do then?
Her: Haha have the gods been after you?
Her: I'm a student going after a [blah blah blah blah]
Me: Not unless you're actually Hindu. [deep diving blah blah]
Her: Lol you're not allowed to say that
Her: What do you really study

Deep diving, etc. Asked her out based on our weather being weird that day talking about clothes and her showing me an outfit lol

4. 18 year old whose profile used to say [she probably had a lot of guys go nuts on this one] trojan studded bareback. lol and it also used to but still says "I have a love affair with microwaved popcorn"
Me: Yet to try but bareback protection sounds like an oxymoron, [name]
Me: What's your butter preference? I have to see if we're compatible
Her: Hahaha I think the more the better, do we match up?
Me: Doing great so far. I like toppings, any ideas?
Her: Hmm, we might have to get creative on this one, but I'm sure we'll think of something
Me: Luckily I've got a [store] at the corner. We'll have everything we need?
Her: Damn I hope so
Me: I'm sure we'll manage. There's a Starbucks to start. What day works?
Her: I have a shit ton of work for the while idk
Her: My snap is [user ID]
Me: For what eh, to tease me to wait eh tell me about yourself then. Lover of the outdoors it seems?
Her: Yeah, not a skier though, never took to the slopes

solid deep dive from here then she went to work so we'll see

5. Her profile: wave emoji and pic with shopping bags
Me: Hi [name with same wave emoji] have you got something for me in the bag?
Her: Hi [name]! Haha, your emoji game is excellent
Her: Hmm it depends!
Her: Are you a fan of Jonathan Adler houseware decor?
Her: If so, I have the best ring tray OF ALL TIME

from here we talked about how I want a harem and she's almost a lawyer

6, 7, 8, ...

lots more matches
boyfriend disqualifier!!!

 

[mb1]

I feel your points from the other thread and will post there. As a beginner, this is actually advancing my learning curve.

Here is an actual trick though.

I've noticed some guys pop up on Tinder, meaning they're listed as women. It took a bit to figure out what was going on because surely they must have made a mistake right? Oh, far from it.

If you're looking for a girl to have threesomes with, this would show only girls who have checked both men and women, plus they'd never know you did this.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

I've noticed some guys pop up on Tinder, meaning they're listed as women. It took a bit to figure out what was going on because surely they must have made a mistake right? Oh, far from it.

If you're looking for a girl to have threesomes with, this would show only girls who have checked both men and women, plus they'd never know you did this.

This sounds slick but I doubt it works very often. Bi girls are like any others when it comes to multiple partners. The percentage is about the same of those who will and those who won't. The down side is the number of bi girls is a small percentage of the overall girls. So you take a small percentage of the population, bi's and reduce is it further by those that will do multiple partners and the percentage is really low. I think you stand a better chance with day or night gaming two girls who are together.

 

[Big Daddy]

I finally created a Tinder profile so I might have some points to contribute here.

Here's what I found that doesn't work for me:

- Lyrics opener
- Hey opener
- Compliment opener
- Mentioning somewhere she traveled (from her pics)
- Waiting to "create intrigue" -- reply ASAP
- Deep diving on Tinder -- I get her number ASAP and do it over text if necessary

The openers doesn't work because I think most guys are reading shit on how to Tinder and they all start doing this shit. Plus complimenting and mentioning the Eiffel Tower from her euro trip pic isn't exactly original.

Creating intrigue often means going cold; I know because it happens to me. I'm talking with a girl, then I match with a more interesting girl who complies faster and I forget about the first girl. Deep diving on Tinder is a no for me because I hate its chat, so I'm genuine with my reasons.

What works for me:

- Mentioning something from her profile in the most unorthodoxical way. Just to get her out of auto-pilot. Examples might be:

• Mentioning how she looks like she's underage then banter a little bit about it
• I bantered with a girl because she had a Nikon camera whereas I prefer Canon cameras (a detail; I bet most guys won't even pay attention to it)
• Make a direct question about something she mentioned on her profile
• Ask a question or compliance to something related to her profile or a detail that only you could find from a pic after observing it for a moment

The process I find that works best for me is: question -> little bit more talk/compliance -> "hey, give me your number. I'll probably forget to reply here/it's better to chat over there/I want to send you a pic"

Once over text: "hey, it's [me]. Save my number " she'll comply. Then "so, I have a horrible notion of distance. Where you at/where exactly is X miles away?" then I think somewhere good to meet up. Then "when you're free this week?" and go from there, done.

The only issue I have is when a girl keeps texting me cool stuff before our date. If you have something to say on that regard, please jump in this thread to get the full context -- I was discussing it over there and I'd love you input

 

[Big Daddy]

Right, I think we should describe the type of girls we match with because that plays a huge role as well. I'm 21 and most girls I match are 18-21. So probably a lot of them have like 200 dudes opening them with compliments, hey openers, etc.

The girl from the report I linked mentioned that all other dudes opened her the exact same way with the exact same questions (hey, compliment, what's your age, what do you do, etc) so it might be a turn off in that case. Every girl that is 26-35 gets a swipe right but I never matched with them

I often feel I'm too aggressive and scare them off, but they always surprise me and reply back. It helps me imagining that they're dying for me to ask their number, just as she'd be dying to kiss you on a very sexually loaded date. If I can get to the point where they give me their number, I never had a girl deny it.

One thing that I'm not sure if it's a big deal to you, but a girl just pointed out and I realized it is for me: I don't have Facebook. I created an account just so I could use Tinder. And a girl asked me "Are you from here? It could be a bug, but could it be that we don't have any friends in common on Facebook?"

This indeed is rare around here. Strange, to say at least. Might be costing me matches because I look like a weirdo/fake/outcast.

My profile is shit. I mention that I'm 6 ft and some funny stuff. I hate taking pictures and I'm not photogenic, so I just got two decent pics of my face and put them there. I'm certain that getting 3-4 dSLR pics will skyrocket my matches. I'm leaving girls on the table right now... something to work on.

 

[Fuck This]

I had to see what all the fuss about Tinder was really about

I had about 12 matches in 4 days in August. I was surprised at the number of women (8) who messaged me first. ALL of those mentioned my picture with a horse.

So if you have a picture with a cute critter (Not Tigers) I think that works.
My 6 pictures were all taken by someone. Half waist up and half action shots.
My profile is empty. One girl commented on that.

I'm 41 and I matched with as young as 32 and as old as 50. The average age is 41 though.

As of now I hid my profile. My last match was Sunday night late while I was driving home. I told her to call me so I didn't wreck. She complied and talked to me until Midnight even though she had to get up at 5:00 am. She used the word "Alpha" a lot in our conversation. Got a text from her this morning and I think I may just go no contact. Not quite feeling it..

 

[Big Daddy]

I never get messaged first D:

I thought I'd add this as well: when asking a girl out, I find that it's always better to ask if she likes coffee first, then say "what do you say we grab coffee sometime then?"

One, because she already said she likes it, so why not? And two, when I ask when she's free, I always feel they put up their defenses -- maybe because they're thinking I'm gonna suggest fucking right away, or something?

Dunno, but it works best in this order...

 

[Bboy100]

On Pictures:

Pictures are the most important part of Tinder. I'd be willing to go so far as to say that they account for 90% of your success. To put this into perspective, I did two years of online dating with "Ok" photos, and I got 0 dates (granted, I was using Okcupid at the time, and my messages were pretty goofy/slapstick type of humor). I've had a new profile with professional pictures for the past 8 months or so. I've been on anywhere between 35-50 dates off Tinder (I've lost count, so that's a rough estimate). Keep in mind that for six of those months, I was in a small town of only 82500 people. Had I been in a big city the whole time, I guarantee that number would be doubled or even tripled. Right now, when I'm in said small town, I get a date every week or every other week. When I'm in a big city, I get 1-5 per week (my success seems to fluctuate). Regardless, no matter where you are, I believe you can find success.

For starters, I recommend reading this: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-m ... lenty-fish
I don't think the profile description and messaging fundamentals are relevant to Tinder, but the picture stuff certainly is.

Raedang, yes I did get my photos done professionally. Fortunately, I had a photographer who was willing to work with me. He actually cared that I got good pics because he was going to use them for his own business. Like you, I was uncomfortable at first. But he basically showed me the ropes and taught me some basic photo skills. I'll share those with you guys in a sec. But first, here's how I found him:

I just put up an ad on craigslist and I got a response the next day. Aspiring photographers need to do a "portfolio". This means they have to get a bunch of pictures to show potential employers. So a lot of them are down to take pictures of you for free in exchange for permission to use them for their own purposes.
Personally, I got a response the day after I posted. But I believe I got lucky. It also probably helped that I included that I'm Bulgarian (making me seem "exotic"). Still though, Chase's article and other online dating coach's have said that it usually takes only 2 weeks or so to get a reply if you post on craigslist. At any rate, you can just keep posting ads, and I'm sure that with perseverance, you'll eventually get a response.

If you do end up paying a professional, or your photographer off craigslist just doesn't give a shit for some reason, they'll probably just give you an hour and that's it. They probably won't really teach you how to take good photos. If that's the case, here are some tips if you're not very photogenic:
1. I highly recommend you take some "warm up photos" before you even go in. That's what professional models do. Like everything else, it takes a little while before you get comfortable with being in front of a camera. For me, first 50-100 photos were basically useless to us. After that, I finally started to get comfortable and my facial expressions looked a lot better.

2. When you're taking photos, use emotional anchors to create the feeling you want to outwardly express within yourself. Ex. If you're trying to have a warm smile, think of a time you were happy. If you're trying to look sexy, think of a really fun sexual experience which turned you on. It shows through on your face. My best photos were the ones when I was vividly describing what I was doing to one of the hottest girls I've ever had sex with to my photographer (you might not be able to do that, so the next best thing is to just think about it). The process is very similar to how you might create a sexual vibe in pickup.

3. Know that most of them are going to look pretty shitty. Out of the 300 or so photos that we took, only a few of them were truly "model" quality. Its just the nature of the beast. Don't get me wrong. Most of them are probably going to look better than what you have on FB right now. But if you're looking for true quality, it takes patience and lots of tries.

Anyways... the type of pictures you have are very relevant to your matches. Even if all of them look really good, you're still going to get matched with a certain type of girl more than others. For example, most of mine make me look like a guy who's really into fitness/sports, so I naturally get matched with a lot of college athletes and girls who generally value fitness. Whereas, I get matched with professional girls or artsy type girls (relatively) less often. Don't get me wrong, I get matched with ALL types of girls, and probably a lot more of them than most people do. But it just seems like "athlete" type girls are more common than others. For me, this is a good fit. But it may not be what you want. So whatever you include, know that you'll probably match with a similar type of girl.

Personally, my pics are as follows:
1. A pic of me in a tanktop and a snapback doing a "sexy smile" <----This was one of my professionally done pictures. It turned out very well for me. And I probably wouldn't be able to replicate it on my own. It took 3 hours of photoshoots to get one of such high quality.
2. A pic of me holding a dog. <----This one isn't even professionally done. But its still good. Statistically speaking, guys with animals in their pics (especially dogs and cats), get more responses than those who don't.
3. A pic of me shirtless showing off my upper body. This one was also one of the professionally taken ones. <----Be careful with this. Younger girls are very attracted to ab/chest shots. But with age, it becomes less so. If your audience is 30+ girls, I would avoid this. But if you're looking for girls in their 20s, it works great (assuming you are or look like you're in good shape. Even if you're not, there are a lot of ways a photographer can make you seem muscular).
4. This one I change around, and it doesn't seem to affect my results. But its basically a picture of me doing something I enjoy. I just don't want it to just be a bunch of pictures of me doing nothing. But tbh, I can probably take this out and it might not matter. Right now, its me doing a hand stand at the top of a long hike in Cali.

Keep in mind that my audience is mostly college girls. I usually get matched with girls 18-21. Older women might think I look like a dumb fratboy in my pics and may not be attracted to me. I'm ok with this because I want to meet college girls. But that may not be what you're looking for. So remember to gear your pictures to your target audience. And yes, you could just round out your profile and have a little bit of everything. Ex. 1 pic of you doing sports, another of you doing something intellectual, another of you something adventurous etc. But I believe that would be the equivalent of being "safe" in dating. Sure, it might initially get the attention of more girls, but it won't be nearly as polorizing. In other words, even though older women might think I look like a dumb fratboy, I'm relatively sure the girls who do match me are a lot more attracted to me from the get go. In fact, I've met several girls with no conversation at all. I literally asked them out on the first message and they said yes. If I just looked like "Mr. Generic" I doubt that would ever work.

Having said that, here are some other things I've heard which might be good ideas (I haven't tried them out myself. But others have, and they say they've had success):
1. Pictures of you in a suit.
2. Pictures of you with a girl, but she's mostly cropped out. Its like, only a shoulder or her hand or something in the picture. The point of this is to subtly achieve preselection whilst avoiding looking like you're doing it just to show that you have girls in your life. The idea is "hey, I look really good in this pic, and it just so happens that there's a girl in it too. I tried to crop her out, but I couldn't get her all the way out of the pic". <-----Credit to Colt Williams Tinder System for this.
3. A picture of you in nature/doing a hike or something. <---People just look better in natural settings. Idk why. But as you swipe through Tinder, you'll notice that this applies to girls too. They look "hotter" in natural sunlight/beautiful places.
4. A picture of you playing an instrument or playing a popular sport. <----Girls love both those things and it shows personality.
5. A picture of you showing pride in one way or another (via facial expressions or otherwise). <---Research supports that showing pride is one of the most attractive traits on online photos.
6. A picture of you traveling/going abroad. <----I actually HAVE tried this one out myself. And it works pretty well. Hopefully I don't need to explain why girls find this attractive.
7. Humorous pictures. Get creative with this one. Ex: If you have Photoshop or paint shop skills, you can take a pic you already have and put the Tinder logo on it and write "approved" below it. This is a joke. It's like Tinder themselves have rated this picture highly.
8. Anything else that's sexually attractive and you enjoy doing. Keep in mind that as I mentioned earlier, this will have a polarizing effect. If you have pictures of yourself doing something art-related, you'll probably attract like-minded people. Same goes for pictures of you playing sports, partying, playing video games, playing an instrument, etc.


Most Importantly: Any picture you have should be high quality. Its better for you to not post it at all if its low quality. Even if you have 2 good pics, if your 3rd one looks shitty, girls might start to question whether or not you actually look that good in real life.


Next: Profile description

I think this is probably the least important part. I've played around with mine, and I haven't seen too big a difference in matches. There are a few exceptions though. Writing what you do or what groups your a part of helps. For example, I used to not have on my profile where I go to school. I added that in and all of us sudden, I started getting matched with even more college girls and specifically, more girls from my college in particular. I don't work, but I'm sure that if you write what you work as, it would have a similar effect.

Also, if there's something unique or desirable about you, include it. Ex. As I mentioned, I'm Bulgarian. So I include that in my profile because a lot of girls find that exotic and have "never been with a guy from there". Other than that, I've noticed a lot of girls message me first when there's something that's easy to talk about in my bio.

So atm, mine looks like this: WWU Student. Bulgarian [Globe emoji]. Looking for someone with strong emoji game [Hand holding up three fingers and making an O by touching the index and thumb together emoji]. <----This is kinda witty, and its also easy to respond to. I'll often get messages like "I have strong emoji game!" from girls as a first message. Whereas, with previous bios, I still had lot of matches, but usually, I was the one who had to message them first. Presumably because they didn't know what to say to me.

 

[mb1]

The law of least "perceived" effort

Great stuff

 

[mb1]

Also it's crazy how girls are wired for connection and relating.

I even found a smiling picture got more smiling bubbly happy girls (though my theory from the online dating smiling research is a lot of that data came from complete losers taking pictures in their basements so it's unreliable), brooding pic actually did get more serious girls, animals get animal lovers etc. Sharing similarities can help even for a one night stand.

Been through like six different Facebook and Tinder accounts. If anyone has phone number issues try adding the country code even though it is selected. Had to use a roommates phone, then his worked with my number. Pretty sure a new Tinder account is still linked to the FB in a way and the algorithm's real. Pretty sure some guys just get bumped to the back. Heard it's good to be a little picky but no one really seems to know how it works. Others say it's shit programming and doesn't matter.

 

[Big Daddy]

@Bboy100

That post is valuable as fuck. I'm sure my matches would've SKYROCKETED with decent pics that portrays what I want them to portray.

Out of curiosity, how many matches you got to have gone in 35-50 dates? And out of those 35-50 dates, how many girls did you fuck?

I'm on the fence about looking for a photographer and offering myself to be in his portfolio for free because I don't want my pics going around (and girls finding it somehow). Silly me. You made me think about and in the end it's better to offer the portfolio than pay because it's his work that's on the line. He'll work his ass off to get good pics.

Other than that, maybe you could give more details about the photoshoot itself?

- Did you have multiple outfits for different pics?
- Did the photos look like they were natural, i.e., not try hard?
- Did he help you with your hair and style?
- I'm assuming you asked for some pics in the way that article suggests. Did you have any problems at all with him doing what you wanted to do?

 

[Bboy100]

Out of curiosity, how many matches you got to have gone in 35-50 dates? And out of those 35-50 dates, how many girls did you fuck?

Right now, I have 2700 matches on my phone. Having said that, I swipe right on EVERYONE. Its just easier for me to just message who I like out of the ones I match with instead of waste my time checking out individual photos, only to find she didn't swipe right on me anyways. So tbh, I probably only message 5-10% of those matches.Additionally, I did a lot of swiping while I was traveling. But I didn't actually meet any of the girls cause I mostly stayed in the same location for only one night at a time (I did a few road trips and in general, I travel a lot). So I have a LOT of matches which weren't really accessible to me (over 500 of them).

I've had sex with a few but not too many of them. But that's mostly because I run into issues with my game offline, not online. Plus, these Tinder dates are the ONLY dates I had been on in my life (i.e. 8 months ago I was a virgin who hadn't even had his first kiss yet, I hadn't even been on a first date). So I feel like I'm making very good progress.

At any rate, here's what you need to know once you meet them offline, just so you're prepared:

1. A lot of girls are really good at making themselves look way better in their profiles than in their photos. And some of them straight up lie (i.e. I've had several girls post what were clearly VERY old photos. Cause they are substantially fatter or different looking IRL than in their pics). So tbh, I didn't even WANT to have sex with about 1/3 of those girls I met (in fact, I just had to reject one today. lol). I'm not saying 1/3 of them lied. Most of them were honest. But they're girls, so they just know how to show off their good sides and minimize their bad ones in photos. Especially if they came out of Instagram or something like that were they can easily edit them. So as a general trend, most girls aren't as good looking IRL as they are online.

However, that's not to say they aren't good looking. I've met some girls which are 10/10s in terms of looks. Several of them were well paid models. They're just not AS good looking as in their pics.

2. Online dates are not like social circle dates. They're like cold approach dates (i.e. girls are much less forgiving of mistakes).

I'm on the fence about looking for a photographer and offering myself to be in his portfolio for free because I don't want my pics going around (and girls finding it somehow). Silly me. You made me think about and in the end it's better to offer the portfolio than pay because it's his work that's on the line. He'll work his ass off to get good pics.

I mean...I don't think many people are gonna see them anyway. Probably just future employers. Its not like he's gonna hang up a billboard of you or anything. lol.

Other than that, maybe you could give more details about the photoshoot itself?

- Did you have multiple outfits for different pics?
- Did the photos look like they were natural, i.e., not try hard?
- Did he help you with your hair and style?
- I'm assuming you asked for some pics in the way that article suggests. Did you have any problems at all with him doing what you wanted to do?

Basically, the guy just asked me to come to his apartment, and bring my own outfits. He had his own equipment there and we just did a photoshoot. Like I said before, they were over 300 photos. Most of them looked pretty bad cause I'm not a professional model. But in the end, we did come out with like 10-20 good looking, natural photos. He did help me with my hair...although I'd still recommend styling it on your own before you go. Additionally, I recommend bringing a razor and hair product so you can change your appearance up. Yes, I did ask for pics like those. I actually didn't end up using them because we came up with better ones. But he was more than glad to fulfill my requests. Also, he might have a certain type of pic he might want to take too. So be ready for that. Ex. My guy wanted to do sports magazines, so he had me take a lot of pictures in sports outfits.

Having said that, this was my experience. If you find a guy on craigslist, he's not technically a professional, he's not affiliated with a company or anything like that. He's just a dude with a camera. So your experience could be totally different. It all depends on your photographer. And of course, on how you yourself handle the situation.

 

[Big Daddy]

Thanks for the info dude. I'll do it just because I don't want to (it's a personal mantra).

Oh, I thought they were taken outside. I mean very natural photos, like you're chopping vegetables and someone snapped a pic. If they're too good, they looked rigged to me.

For instance, I know the locations I have to take pics at to attract the kind of girl I want to attract and they're not the places the photographer will want to go, probably;

The main reason I hadn't looked into photographers are:

- I'm letting my hair grow because I'm going for a man bun and right now it looks horrible
- I'm still paying my dues at the gym (picture a basketball player on the skinnier side -- I'm cut and have visible abs, but I'm not very big)
- I don't have money for decent outfits right now

But then I though, fuck it, I'll do it now and can do again in the future with another photographer. It's probably better than my current pics. And I can always leave them there if I don't like the photo shoot pics.

 

[lux7]

How do you guys find it to ask for a real number very quick after a couple lines?

It worked well for me... In other countries where my "market value" was much higher, but not well where I don't get that advantage.

 

[Big Daddy]

I always ask for her number within the first 10 messages on Tinder and have at least 80-90%+ success rate. I frame as it I don't like Tinder chat, which is true, and that we'd be better off moving to text.

"Hey, let's move over text. Tinder chat is terrible. What's your number?" or "Hey, give me your number or I'll probably forget to answer you here [optional: and you'll think I don't like you or some shit]."

What's been fucking me is asking girls on a date. I often do it on the day we matched but they often ignore me after that or they never can go out on a date or can only go after 2 weeks. Troubleshooting with radeng I thought I might try stretching our convo over a few days and see how that plays out.

It's hard, though. I often ask them out on a high convo point and if I wait a few days to do it the excitement just dies. I also don't like texting/DDing very much over text. It might help them becoming more relatable to meet someone they don't know. Still testing this one; will report back after at least 20 girls.

 

[Bboy100]

What's been fucking me is asking girls on a date. I often do it on the day we matched but they often ignore me after that or they never can go out on a date or can only go after 2 weeks.

I've only done this twice, so its not very extensively tested. But what might help is scheduling a very short Skype or Facetime date.

The reason most these girls are flaking or putting it off for so long is because either
A. They're nervous and they're getting cold feet (that's when they say yes to the date then just stop replying altogether)
B. They aren't that invested in you and they're willing to put off the date till its very conviniant for them (when they wait 1+ weeks)

Doing a Skype date where they can feel out your vibe and you can create some real attraction might solve both those problems. Additionally, there are some girls which are real duds which you probably don't wanna waste your time with anyways. This will be a helpful tool for screening them out.

After a short Skype date, both girls (both of which were super unresponsive/putting me on the backburner) started chasing me.

I'm sure a phone call would have the same effect.

Of course, this is also a little bit more of a time investment. So it might not be worth it to you. Depends on how badly you want to meet her. I think what I'm gonna start doing is asking them out. Then if they say yes and don't reply, or try to schedule it way later, I'll schedule a Skype date. But if they say yes to the date and follow through within a reasonable timeframe, than I'll obviously proceed as usual.

 

[Big Daddy]

The reason most these girls are flaking or putting it off for so long is because either
A. They're nervous and they're getting cold feet (that's when they say yes to the date then just stop replying altogether)
B. They aren't that invested in you and they're willing to put off the date till its very conviniant for them (when they wait 1+ weeks)

Agree, but I think there's a third option:

C. They're cool up to a point, but for some reason they ignore you after saying yes to the date

And I don't know that reason. I'm trying to pinpoint it. I'm not sure it's (A) because I can more-or-less tell when she's nervous about meeting a stranger (to help with that, I frame as if I'm the one who's afraid that she's a serial killer and therefore mustn't be one myself: "well, okay, let's first meet in public so I can be sure you're not a serial killer/creeper/weirdo and then we can do something else"). I had girls chat with me normally and then go cold as soon as we arranged a meeting.

But your last reply opened my eyes to something very important: the Skype call puts them at ease by seeing you don't look like a creeper or something like that and hearing you talk. This creates a greater connection.

In fact, a girl just sent me a voice message over the text app and I felt way more connected to her and lowered my defenses as well (I often get a little bit skeptical about Tinder girls too). I replied to her with text and she sent another voice message answering what I asked and at the end said

aaw, send me a voice message too...

I said I couldn't right now and would send later (just to not comply right away). But it made me realize that this makes me way more "real" and compared to a Skype call it's lower investment. Even if it's a 3-sec message answering something she said, as if you couldn't type because you're driving/walking or something.

But as last resort Skype calls might do the trick. I'll send voice messages to every girl that ignored me right now, what a fucking great idea you had dude.

(B) is a problem because every girl wants to meet with me on weekends and they're full. Most of them say they have classes or have to work till late night the week, and if it's true it's a good sign, because they're not seeing anyone and are more likely to invest and sleep with me. I think it's too much to expect them to cancel that kind of appointment just to see a random dude they met on Tinder, unless you are extremely good looking.

 

[Big Daddy]

What do you say when girls ask for your last name on Tinder?

For one reason or another, I don't wanna give them this kind of info. I know it would help them see that I'm not a stalker, but I don't have Facebook so if they find a Facebook profile with nothing but some likes and a couple of pictures, that contributes to the creepiness factor.

I tried bantering with "Bond, Big Daddy Bond" or "let's leave the questions for our date ", both with mixed results. Some girls don't seem to mind and play along and some girls get uncomfortable and go cold right away as if I'm trying to hide something (which I kinda am, but not for the reason they suspect).

Do you guys have any ideas on how to handle this?