Tips as a bouncer regarding women

[Keno]

Hey men,

So I'm gonna start working as a bouncer soon in my city (~200.000 people, big university) and since I haven't done that I'm interested in some advice on it.

I know the dynamics are in my favor in that environment, especially because it's a protector role. Here are some things I would like to hear your thoughts and experiences on, it's just interesting to apply the things to specific context's:

- Is there any of the general rules of seduction that change in that setting?
- What are some foundations in that setting that specifically apply here?
- What about logistics? I can't just leave my position at the door, so my guess is it's mostly numbers and what considerations come into play here (when, how etc.)
- I've had another question, it might pop up again when reading your answers

So yeah, I'm just interested and would like to hear your thoughts and things to pay attention to.
Before someone mentions this, I do: I do this job because of many things that I can learn from it, but here in this forum I can get unique insight on that specific part of the job. So yes, if you tell me it's not a good position to meet women who party and why, it's okay.

Thanks guys.

 

[Teevster]

Don't flirt with girls the first few months. You need to have a real connection with your bros first. Flirting with girls while at work as a bouncer is frowned upon.... unless you have the head of security and your colleagues with you. As a bouncer you can do almost whatever you like as long as you have your bros with you.

This is bouncing 101.

So focus on that first. Also I would use the bouncing job more as a way to network. A cool bouncer makes tons of contacts! and gets invited to lots of cool stuff.

 

[Teevster]

Rule number 1 of bouncing: You never go against one of your colleagues. Your colleague kicks a guy out, you back him up, even if it was unfair to kick out that poor guy. Your colleague has an issue with someone, you back him up. Your colleague denies a group entrance, you back him up. And so on.

Break this rule and you are done as a bouncer.

-Teevster

 

[Keno]

Rule number 1 of bouncing: You never go against one of your colleagues. Your colleague kicks a guy out, you back him up, even if it was unfair to kick out that poor guy. Your colleague has an issue with someone, you back him up. Your colleague denies a group entrance, you back him up. And so on.

Break this rule and you are done as a bouncer.

-Teevster

hey man,

thanks a lot! for both replies.

this is the kind of stuff I wanted to know.

 

[Teevster]

hey man,

thanks a lot! for both replies.

this is the kind of stuff I wanted to know.

You are welcome.

Also don't fall into the trap where you have to show power. You have power by default of being a bouncer. Adding more on top of that will get you respected but not liked. The idea is to be both. Be strict, and firm, but no bad vibes.

Ideally, you want a generally neutral and slightly cold vibe. The reason for this is that, you never know how people will behave. you may be forced to kick someone out later on, you may be forced to even use violence at times (only slightly more than the amount of violence done by the other - rule of thumb!). If you had been all nice with the person from the get go, it becomes much harder to kick them out or use violence towards them. This is why you act a bit cold with strangers.

But be cold without being arrogant. Pay close attention to the oldest bouncer or the chief of security (usually the oldest bouncer) and see how he does it. He has been around the block and knows the job inside out. He isn't there to flash his ego or anything. He knows how to run things. Feel free to ask him for advice!

Open up and become nice only with regulars - people you know are cool and won't cause trouble. This also make them respect you, and make them loyal to the club. It is a win-win situation for you, for them and for the club.

Anyway, I am not a bouncer, but I have tons of bouncer friends. My wingman (@Pelusita) was an ex-bouncer. I have always been active in the nightlife for almost 15 years. I do believe I know what I am talking about.

BTW, here are some posts you may find useful.

Nightlife Staff: Least Important to Most Important​

High-End Venues vs. Meet Markets​

Getting Into High-End Nightclubs​

Best,
Teevster

 

[Keno]

You are welcome.

Also don't fall into the trap where you have to show power. You have power by default of being a bouncer. Adding more on top of that will get you respected but not liked. The idea is to be both. Be strict, and firm, but no bad vibes.

Ideally, you want a generally neutral and slightly cold vibe. The reason for this is that, you never know how people will behave. you may be forced to kick someone out later on, you may be forced to even use violence at times (only slightly more than the amount of violence done by the other - rule of thumb!). If you had been all the nice with the person from the get go, it becomes much harder to kick them out or use violence towards them. This is why you act a bit cold with strangers.

But be cold without being arrogant. Pay close attention to the oldest bouncer or the chief of security (usually the oldest bouncer) and see how he does it. He has been around the block and knows the job inside out. He isn't there to flash his ego or anything. He knows how to run things. Feel free to ask him for advice!

Open up and become nice only with regulars - people you know are cool and won't cause trouble. This also make them respect you, and make them loyal to the club. It is a win-win situation for you, for them and for the club.

Anyway, I am not a bouncer, but I have tons of bouncer friends. My wingman (@Pelusita) was an ex-bouncer. I have always been active in the nightlife for almost 15 years. I do believe I know what I am talking about.

BTW, here are some posts you may find useful.

Nightlife Staff: Least Important to Most Important​

High-End Venues vs. Meet Markets​

Getting Into High-End Nightclubs​

Best,
Teevster

I say thank you to you and I mean it.

this is some gold nuggets for me as a beginner in that domain

 

[Teevster]

I say thank you to you and I mean it.

this is some gold nuggets for me as a beginner in that domain

You are welcome.

Also I forgot. Make sure you ask your colleagues to let you know who the regulars are... especially if you do the door (check id's and drunkenness or even do the "picking"). Regulars EXPECT certain privileges and a certain welcome. You do not want the regulars against you on your first nights. You need to know who they are.

Ideally, you should not do the "entrance" the first 3 or so weeks, but instead do security inside, or assist as back up at the door. Feel free to provide this reasoning to your head of security. He will understand.

Best,
Teevster

 

[Keno]

You are welcome.

Also I forgot. Make sure you ask your colleagues to let you know who the regulars are... especially if you do the door (check id's and drunkenness or even do the "picking"). Regulars EXPECT certain privileges and a certain welcome. You do not want the regulars against you on your first nights. You need to know who they are.

Ideally, you should not do the "entrance" the first 3 or so weeks, but instead do security inside, or assist as back up at the door. Feel free to provide this reasoning to your head of security. He will understand.

Best,
Teevster

funny, I wanted to get advice on women in that particular situation, but then you made me understand that this comes later and instead gave me some really well explained insights on the dynamics between bouncers, the club, and visitors.

well done, sir

 

[Teevster]

funny, I wanted to get advice on women in that particular situation, but then you made me understand that this comes later and instead gave me some really well explained insights on the dynamics between bouncers, the club, and visitors.

well done, sir

Yeah you need to understand your job, the club and the dynamics first. It is as essential as all the "lines and tricks" if not more essential.

Think of bouncing game more as a "kind of" a social circle game, or "extended seduction". Play it slow. Because you are at work, you can't be actively hitting on girls. But because you have authority as the bouncer (on top of many women finding bouncers sexy, although they hate to admit it) you won't need to. Let the girls HIT on you. This is key because this way you don't look unprofessional.

You need to remember that you are there for a professional reason. So you need to balance out pick up and work. The "work" part should always weight more than girls. Always.

Let me know if you have any other questions.

-Teevster

 

[Keno]

Yeah you need to understand your job, the club and the dynamics first. It is as essential as all the "lines and tricks" if not more essential.

Think of bouncing game more as a "kind of" a social circle game, or "extended seduction". Play it slow. Because you are at work, you can't be actively hitting on girls. But because you have authority as the bouncer (on top of many women finding bouncers sexy, although they hate to admit it) you won't need to. Let the girls HIT on you. This is key because this way you don't look unprofessional.

You need to remember that you are there for a professional reason. So you need to balance out pick up and work. The "work" part should always weight more than girls. Always.

Let me know if you have any other questions.

-Teevster

for now I have all my questions answered, even though I didn't know I had some of these questions. Interesting.

and yes, as you mentioned there is so much more to this job, hence my interest in it.

thank you my friend!