Tips for Adopting Aggressive Tactics

[Adam101]

I've been at this for a few months now, and I have to say that in that time I have managed to create some memorable experiences. A recent event occurred though that made me realize something that stings. Last week I got a phone number from a girl, and through texting I tried to be assertive and direct about setting up a date. Over text she seemed enthusiastic with "That sounds like so much fun!" but yet she rarely responds and when she does she does not even mention a date time. And thus my realization: I thought I had been making some serious progress, but the truth is I'm getting reactions and not results.

Bringing that back to the topic title, last week I had missed a golden opportunity to get laid. And the reason for that, I think, is because I wasn't aggressive enough. My process so far is to approach a woman with a compliment, and then to try and cruise past small talk into deep diving. In the case of this girl as I was starting on her another guy just inserted himself to command her attention, and not 2 minutes later they were grinding and sucking face on the dance floor. I think the only reason that guy didn't get laid though was a mix of her being too drunk and her having at least some focus kept on me which I think was due to my connection building. The whole story is really a FR but the point is what I got out of that interaction was had I been more forward with something other than just "I think you're cute." the I probably would have had a much better night. There were other instances as well where, for whatever reason I didn't approach a girl only to discover her hooking up with a random guy 2 min. later.

The lesson seems obvious, be more aggressive. The thing is though...when I try to be rather than coming off as an assertive, take charge man I'm more so imposing and in some
cases passive aggressive where I kind of jumble teasing, sexual framing, and reverse shit testing.

So I was wondering what advice, tips, and tactics any of you could share in adopting an aggressive approach style that will cut the BS and yield results. A compliment isn't enough, but coming out and being direct about wanting to sleep with a woman is too far in the other direction. I think that's enough to give you all an idea of what I'm trying to get at. As always any and all help is appreciated.

 

[StoicMind]

I don't really think your issue is aggression, but more so escalation. In regards to the texting situation she probably saw that you weren't congruent, you were probably more chill before then suddenly through text became aggressive. If you want to have sex with a girl you have to bring her into that mind frame, she needs to feel like she's not judged and free. I would refrain from "deep diving" and have a sexual conversation, talk and see how comfortable with the subject of sex. The more comfortable she is the easier it will be to escalate, get more physical and intimate. The less comfortable she is the harder it will be to do so and in that case you need to make her feel like its okay to talk about it and be in that mind frame; sex is a part of life. You don't have to be rawr aggressive my style is very chilled and laid back but you have to be aggressive in the sense of going after what you want, having an objective and reaching for it as linearly as possible. make your intent know without flat out saying it.

 

[Adam101]

Since you mentioned it I can see how I was incongruent. At the time while I led with a direct approach and was quick to ask her out our conversation was very casual. So going from there to being overtly to the point over text I can see how there was a disconnect. Although it didn't help that she flat out ignored my date proposals and kept talking as if I never asked to begin with. Her number has since been deleted.

Also, escalation is something I really don't understand. Simply because I have never been in a situation or seen an opportunity for it. But as a man I know I must create it, but am not sure how when a woman is cold at the start and is basically putting me on trial. The reason why I was asking for "aggressive tactics" is because my process thus far has been to try and engage a girl to get her comfortable for a few minutes before I start aiming for those windows. But then I see guys (and ones who aren't exceptionally or even base line attractive) pull a girl from
a bar and already they're making out on the dance floor before having gotten past hello. I have no idea how this works because when I aim for such bold attempts I'm brushed aside. But thank you for your insight.

 

[StoicMind]

How guys pull stuff like that off is confidence and communication. Not verbal communication, but non verbal. You can tell a girl that she is sexy and you want to fuck her without saying a word. Its your body language and again making your intent clear and being on your purpose. Women respond to dominance and confidence. Period. Display those two qualities and you can get almost any girl to do anything. The thing about approaching a girl and just having casual conversation especially in a party situation is a tricky thing. If the undertone of your general conversation is two casual the girl will be confused, hence why they "put you on trial". That means your intent isn't clear and when you approach without a clear intent, your communication a lack of dominance and purpose, especially if the conversation is bland. Escalation should be something you are anticipating. Upon meeting you can escalate through physical contact, getting closer, talking into her ear (especially in a loud environment). At the end of the day act like you want to fuck her and if your confident and your fundementals are on point she' ll respond positively.