Hi there I am writing in for advice on how to get over bitterness from past rejections. I have always done fairly well with women particularly in college where I guess due to my looks I would receive quite a few numbers unasked for and dates,etc from girls I found attractive. However after college I started to gain weight about 30 pounds actually, I also was starting to heavily bald and gain some wrinkles. During this time which was about 2 years I would either have just about no girls notice me or sometimes if I so much as accidentally made eye contact with them I would get the coldest looks, being made fun of or be rudely treated when talking to them. Not too long ago I started working out and got in shape, I got on a skin care regiment and cleared up a lot of my wrinkles and I regained a lot of my hair from medication luckily. Well after doing this now I have many women checking me out, smiling when I make eye contact or flirt when talking to me. I know people have standards and you are not going to be attracted to everyone, but my problem is being treated so harshly, and then all of the sudden now that has changed, when in contrast I am generally polite when conversing with people regardless of who they are or what they look like. I suppose my question is what would be your advice for getting over the bitterness of being so harshly rejected in the past but now it seems like that has changed because I have become 'good enough' to date, as it is becoming hard to trust someone that has interest in you at least from a relationship context.
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2016
- Messages
- 263
Just about every guy who starts fixing his fundamentals notices a spike in signals from women shortly after - usually that's why they're doing it lol.
Sounds like you're identifying with the aging guy getting fat, wrinkled, and bald; instead of the jacked dude with great skin and hair that you're working towards. Think of it like this: you've taken important steps towards the guy you want to be, and you're already noticing women appreciating that guy.
Kudos on the hair thing. I didn't know that stuff actually worked.
Sounds like you're identifying with the aging guy getting fat, wrinkled, and bald; instead of the jacked dude with great skin and hair that you're working towards. Think of it like this: you've taken important steps towards the guy you want to be, and you're already noticing women appreciating that guy.
Kudos on the hair thing. I didn't know that stuff actually worked.
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2013
- Messages
- 1,819
Sounds like a case of having a bad precedent being taken away from you:
In college, women would give you their numbers unasked for and getting laid was easy so your expectation of what seduction is and looks like was shaped and then you started to put on weight and bald and that expectation was suddenly stripped away leaving you confused/bitter/etc. It seems like you never really got a taste of how seduction works for someone who isn't a natural - the fact is, when you were 30 pounds overweight and balding you still could have gotten laid because those "features" are secondary or, even, tertiary to what's actually important to women.
It sounds like, because you weren't getting the same obvious IOIs that you were in college that you became bitter and your view of women has shifted as a result. When you were 30 pounds overweight and balding - what did you do to actually get laid?
-Richard
In college, women would give you their numbers unasked for and getting laid was easy so your expectation of what seduction is and looks like was shaped and then you started to put on weight and bald and that expectation was suddenly stripped away leaving you confused/bitter/etc. It seems like you never really got a taste of how seduction works for someone who isn't a natural - the fact is, when you were 30 pounds overweight and balding you still could have gotten laid because those "features" are secondary or, even, tertiary to what's actually important to women.
It sounds like, because you weren't getting the same obvious IOIs that you were in college that you became bitter and your view of women has shifted as a result. When you were 30 pounds overweight and balding - what did you do to actually get laid?
-Richard
