Tips on approaching?

[Salamence]

Titles says it all. I can't consistently approach women. I do it once in a blue moon. I've been reading articles and all that stuff for almost 3 years. And i only approached 3 women in that time period.
What techniques do you guys use to overcome this. I've tried to pysch myself up by listening to music but it doesn't work. Iv'e tried to tell myself constantly to "just do it" but i don't end up doing anything and get frustrated. I've tried to just suck it up the anxiety and go for it but most of the time it's to much.
What do you guys do to beat this out consistently? I don't want to be hitting on one girl for once a year lol
In other words how do you guys take action towards things? I've read articles and all that so please don't give me that.

 

[Tyme2k]

Find someone to push you, do things like give your friend $100 then you get $10 back for every girl you approach. Get creative. If you walk by a girl and you don't approach say to yourself you have to do 25 jumping jacks or pushups right in front of someone like a security guard.

 

[salamis]

What thoughts/feelings go through your head when you're about to approach but don't? I'd say you have to be aware of that so you can understand what mental process is tripping you up and take corrective action?

Is it a general feeling of social anxiety/looking foolish? If so, that's something you can train yourself to overcome in other areas of life (practice handling/creating social pressure, talk to strangers on the street, public speaking, whatever gives you that feeling). I've been with Toastmasters for a month or so and it seems to be helping me.

Is it a feeling of not being in the right state of mind/mood? Chase has a lot of good stuff on this, but I've found that just talking to people is a good way to warm up and deal with this. I have a couple female friends who think I'm witty/sexy, so I find that talking to them is especially effective for getting into the right state of mind.

Anyway I'd also agree that getting support from friends and finding others methods for applying incentives could be a good way to shortcircuit your current pleasure/pain paradigm.

 

[TylerDurden]

What happens to me is not being able to find the words, if it's the same with you maybe you could try using a canned opening, you know exactly which words to say, and just have to go and say it, like you would say them to a wall.
Also, it might be a "cheap" alternative, but alcohol does help with that feeling, with a cup or two under your belt you can think "fuck this, I'll say the damm first thing that comes to mind", and sometimes it's enough.

 

[Humay]

Just don't think about it, you're brain doesn't want you to do it. It wants you to lead the most boring and safe life possible so it'll survive.

I find the best way to avoid these sorts of fears is to think really long term. Think about when you're old and frail. And how little that approach would affect you then whether she liked you or hates you. It really doesn't matter unless you let yourself get hung up about it. You've still got your health, integrity and friends even if that one girl hates you and your approach.

Well it's just what i think. Hope i helped

 

[Little Jester]

What worked for me early was trying to dumb my thought process down to "Am I going to approach her? Yes or No" and if it's a yes I totally embrace that decision and just go and see what happens. Worked for me a couple of times with the first approaches I did. But this is a huge inner struggle and often I got to the point where I told myself it's a no and then let it be...

Lately I've adopted more a concept of "It is about her, not about me" in anything I do with girls. Approaching included. Here a bit of experience has told me that I can get away with anything as long as it isn't about me. Thoughts about me, hold me back or make it worse. Thoughts about her can be spoken aloud.

So things like "I must approach women", "I don't want any trouble", "I have approach anxiety", "What if I mess up", "What if she doesn't like me".. All that stuff is about you and can be blocked away as irrelevant. Yeah it's hard to do. I trip myself up time and time again, but it's the only way... To let it go I mean. Only think thoughts like "She is cute", "Look how she plays with her hair", "What kind of drink is she having there", "Those earrings look awesome on her", "She looks tired, is she enjoying her self or not". Then go ahead and tell her / ask her about it. It's not even an approach. You're just having normal conversation with her, about her. Try not to make it more complicated than that.

 

[Light]

"Less Thinking, More Doing"

You just have to do it.

 

[Penguin]

It definitely helps to go out with other people so you can build up social momentum and know that you have people on the same team as you .