To be or not to be (on social media)

cocogi

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 4, 2023
Messages
14
I totally agree with GC's main idea, on some articles, that being on social media is basically useless for most men.

On my part, though, I see basically two different - polar opposites - options in this regard:

1. Leave social media and go onfull minimalism (for example having only whatsapp / a messaging app - so that you can still get those few status updates and more direct, 1-on-1 interactions) - this would be I think the best option for 90% of men

2. Leverage social media for a career / become a sort of influencer, try to use them to get a bit "famous". This is a choice that is sometimes necessary for certain kinds of careers - artists, musicians, singers, actors and so on - and could be a way to actually leverage social media in one's favour.
All of the male influencers I've seen achieving even a moderate following + blue dot have always got a lot of female attention, where I live, and often end up dating pretty well.
While getting household-famous requires a lot of luck and effort, becoming a mini celebrity in a niche is somehow achievable with a regular daily effort and the right marketing tools. It becomes a side gig of sort.


I think these are the two main choices - anything in between (the classic uncool instagram profile, with a few followers and nothing very interesting, nor black nor white) must be avoid, for the reasons already explained on the website. Much better to be the mysterious (and less stressed, more productive and less addicted) guy without social media who needs the number, than a loser instagram "follower" like millions of others.

What are your thoughts about these 2 very different kind of routes?
 

Police dog

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 1, 2023
Messages
126
Location
US
Imo, you are overthinking this. I have an average “boring” though private inst, 200ish followers, few simple photos of me and my friends. Never been a problem. I use it mostly to stay in touch with my friends and family from overseas. I don’t have any other social media though, only Telegram for messaging.
 

Kvothe

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
872
I do #1, can't say loss of social media has cost me much. I do miss having snapchat though, since that let me diagnose a girl who gave me a fake number from a girl who gave me a real number that didn't respond to my message. That's not really too useful though, since they have basically the same solution.
 

West_Indian_Archie

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
375
From a defensive POV
  • Zero social media is a red flag to women
  • Boring social media can just turn chicks off
  • Fake social media can turn chicks off
  • Great Social Media - is not only hard to define, but it's hard to do
I think most guys are defensive, want to remain anonymous, and are too lazy to put in the work.

From an offensive POV - social proof + pre-selection can do a lot of heavy lifting in all aspects.
  • It's good for cold approaches that sort of stall out and only contact info is exchanged - in that you can run unpaid Ads in every girl's mind. (Or actually run paid ads..)
  • It's good for "Sliding in the DMs"
  • It's good for Dating Apps
  • It's good for Building social circles (social circles are very powerful in my experience)
My thinking is that more guys need to adapt to the times, but I don't practice what I preach.

There are certain unfair advantages that guys can develop these days, and photography and mastery of social media are 2 - that when leveraged properly will increase quality and body count.
 

Kvothe

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
872
From a defensive POV
  • Zero social media is a red flag to women
Hmm, I haven't had social media for almost 2 years now, I wonder if there are any bad effects there... From my experience, my numbers have flaked because of terrible texting more than anything else.

I feel like the zero social media flag can be dealt with by just claiming that it's for mental health (or turn it into a SOT by contrasting how it affects men-to-women relationships), though that requires getting it into conversation to have an actual impact, which could be harder on shorter approaches.

I do actually notice a better mental shift in myself since removing social media, so I probably won't go back regardless, but it's interesting to me that it could be considered a red flag.
 
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West_Indian_Archie

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
375
I do actually notice a better mental shift in myself since removing social media, so I probably won't go back regardless, but it's interesting to me that it could be considered a red flag.

This is exactly why I don't participate in it.

It's way too easy to get wrapped up in dumb arguments and a fake world, even if it's just a heavily edited real world. Too much drama. Even if the drama was only in my head.

OH NO, SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET DISAGREES WITH ME!!!!!

* TYPES MANIFESTO *


As an aside,

I'd like to get into what a good social media looks like.
  • IG
  • Tiktok
  • Twitter
  • FB
  • Snap
  • ETC
From what I've seen, one's life life needs to be Instagram-able. And that means major life changes, not just taking a selfie in front of the Eiffel Tower. (or photoshopping/using AI to do it)

The one person I know with great social media is a literal girl from the jet set. And I'm pretty damn sure she edits out the "good" stuff - i.e. her chilling with Celebs and Powerful people. It's all parties, nice gowns, extravagant dinners, art, concerts (front row or backstage), after parties...

I follow a number of male celebs, and for the most part - despite the money, their lives don't look interesting.
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
568
Each has tradeoffs, but I think of it like this: No matter what you do, don't use social media like a woman.

Meaning, don't post things for the validation. Don't seek a high follower count or a blue check for the validation. Don't consume others content.

Post like a business. Post with intent. In this case, you'd be using social media to show off a seemingly cool life (cool photos) and to say top of mind to girls (the feed).
 
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