To text or not. I really dislike text game..

[DarkKnight]

Hey all,

Last week I met this girl in the gym who gave me obvious approach invitations and seemed very enthousiastic. I had a faint sense I knew her somewhere, apparently I was correct and had met her 3 years earlier on a day that I was leading strongly and smooth. Since then we simply didn't encounter eachother again and went on our merry ways.

So I apprehended the law of least effort and went to a machine next to her, quite soon she was next to me and I hit her up. She gave me lots of compliance and I proposed to exchange contact information in order for a meet. We both didnt have our phones with us so we had to take the lame facebook route and I added her as a friend. There and then I saw pictures of a boyfriend, but honestly I don't care since I felt strong sexual attraction to this woman. She didnt mention him by the way. I also made sure to touch her, so she knew I am not interested in being a platonic friend.

Anyway after i added her i sent her a text, she replied to it with a question about my educational background. I answered and asked her a logistical question in return and there she suddenly left my message on "unread". A couple of days later I saw it was "read" but I didn't double text. I had a weird feeling she expected me to do so. To chase. And that she felt disappointed. But how can I trust a gut feeling over an electronic device?

Anyway its been 6 days, I thought I could encounter her live again in the gym I mentioned but I didn't. Its easier to feel the vibe in person. Also easier to get them to chase again by using preselection. But no such luck.

That brings me at a loss, how am I to proceed here? I really dislike text game wizardry, but also really want to boldly pound this girl like no man has before.

 

[JacobPalmer]

This has been an area where I've been focusing a lot lately, and I'll say I've learned quite a bit about what works and what doesn't.

Overall with texting it all comes down to concurrency, and sometimes I'll have to double to triple text a girl to get her to respond or to get her out. But if we have sex, then who cares. Double texting or more isn't the end of the world, it's all about perspective. But, always come at in from a non-needy way, which you're doing already. Sometimes the texts need to be fun though, because girls have a ton of options out there and get hundreds of texts all the time.

What was the logistical question? Depending on what it was you can text her a number of different things. But try to keep it congruent with your personality.

- you're not shy about answering are you? (this boxes her into being shy, which she will definitely try and get out of)
- can you call me an ambulance? (she'll either ask why in which case you respond with - because I just killed my workout. Or she'll just answer your previous question)
- just send her something funny
- gif or picture of something you're doing
- you could also flip the frame on her by saying something like "Shit, I totally forgot to check this, been super busy lately. How are you/feel like grabbing coffee/a drink this week?" (deep down she'll know whe's the one who didn't respond, but she'll also feel obligated to get back to you because it seems like you're the one who read it and didn't respond)
- ask for something small - "chocolate or vanilla?"

Personally I'd keep it a bit light and fun, but low effort.

 

[Fuck This]

So did your logistical question get answered? If not what was it?

If you resolved the issue text her to let her know. If she is interested she will engage. If not, move on to new waters and fish there.

 

[DarkKnight]

Fuck this, I only had radio silence, which I also answered with the same silence. I simply put off acting in order to see if I would see her in person which is more my ballgame.

Jacob with concurrency did you mean congruency?

The logistical question was if she knew her way around a cafe which is near where I live. She dropped the ball there. I sense it was maybe going a little too far for her.

About the restart texts, asking her if she is shy would be great I think if I asked her after three days, but i didnt text for an entire week haha. Maybe in my quest to be non needy i have been over doing it , who knows?

I think I need a total new restart text, but again my texting is weak. My non verbals are much stronger.

Ill try something funny, maybe it works. Tomorrow, not in the mood right now.

 

[naturalmikey]

i don't do it but it really works. when i get a number i just ask if they wanna hang out and they usually say no or don't even respond. but in the past when i'm clever and interesting i would get much better results. in my mind it puts me in a low value frame chasing. but if you're really trying to maximize lays that's the frame that works the best for volume. honestly, early on your so expected to chase it's not a big deal to chase a little. after she's invested is when she's more likely to chase. hard to get without fucking her a couple times. i've been thinking about starting to chase more, but i hate all the effort. i do fine without.

 

[naturalmikey]

you can always send an intrigue text. that's low effort and gets a good response rate. like "hey can i ask you a question?" or "can you keep a secret?" if she says "yes" be like oh nevermind it's stupid. if she starts biting your good.

or you can text "hey i thought i saw you yesterday at x. but it wasn't you it was the megan the crazy version of you who has an affinity for cats."
i know that sounds crazy but it works really well. it communicates you meet girls that look like her. in her mind she might even become a little jealous, like "i don't want him fucking the other me. i've gotta fuck him." that's why i suspect it works.

 

[DarkKnight]

Great responses guys, I appreciate the support.

Mike I agree, I think I need to chase or "persist" a little bit more. Interestingly yesterday I read an article of Varoon where he talks about non needyness. He describes a situation which is quite similair to mine. The girl first delays texting in order to test him for weakness, but after he passes she gives him radio silence, but this time it was not about testing for weakness, but whether he is really interested or that she is one of many girls. He texts her again after 2 days, not an entire week like I have done. This is also congruent with her putting the text on temporaly "unread" and the gut feeling I had that she was disappointed that I didn't chase.

It's funny how they first test you for being a beta and when you pass they become insecure whether you are too alpha. Haha.

I will give her a good prescription of warmth and non-needyness. Let's see how it pans out.

 

[JacobPalmer]

Jacob with concurrency did you mean congruency?

Correct, apologies for the typo. Be congruent with your texting. Hope things work out!

 

[DarkKnight]

Weird, now bear with me guys: my last message was from previous week. Since then i didnt write a word and she was regularly online until yesterday. I wrote today though and the message was on "unreceived" , combined with her not being online.

So she probably put me on ignore since yesterday evening on messenger. But this is weird, why would she put me on ignore an entire week after i send her a text. Wouldnt it be more logical to do so promptly or the day after?

Anyway I am done here and if I encounter her again she can count on arctic coldness and nonchalence from my side. Ill delete her from social media too, I dont see the point of keeping her around. This is trash behavior and quite a bit cowardly, I havent been overbearing in the least and believe I deserve better. Luckily there are plenty of girls who remind me so.

 

[DarkKnight]

Update: Because I wanted to give this subject closure. I didn't perform well afterwards in game terms, but I am fairly content with how I handled it. I sent the girl a short eloquent message saying that she could just unfriend or block me, instead of putting me on a special ignoring function of facebook while pretending everything is well. I told her I'll make it easy for her by deleting her myself, which I did promptly. I did dress her down though with mentioning that should I encounter her again, she should just spare me the pleasantries: an obvious sign that I am done.

So I got caught up on the day and in the evening while reading a book I suddenly get an unexpected text from her mentioning that she is barely on messenger (bullshit), that she didn't see my messages (she used the ignore function, so plausible, but again no excuse) and that she thinks it is a shame that I react in such a harsh way (lol, it sure felt good though).
I knew arguing about it makes no sense, so I just told her my position and that I do not appreciate being put into some kind of weird limbo. Also that I suspect that she is afraid of being assertive,which is not needed with me. She showed understanding and told me she has to be at an event and will answer my previous messages later. But I politely rejected her offer by mentioning those messages are kinda outdated and not worth responding at, which is true. I purposely left it ambigious with a thumbs up smily in a way that she won't know if I am still upset or friendly.

What I have learned:

Girl really did give approach invitations, but lost interest, or never had real ones. She is in a relationship so maybe she wanted diversion in the moment. She tried to fade me out basically, by delaying responses. When called out on it, she probably felt guilt or social pressure and tried to fix it. But at that point this is negotiated interest and not genuine one and as such of no worth to me. I will probably encounter her again, but I'd rather avoid her and I can imagine her trying to strike me up in the future since I dared to walk away. I guess some girls are just afraid of saying "no" and cause weird entanglements because of it.

What I should have done differently: After the first radio silence I should have followed up 2 days later, not an entire week. That's about it, maybe I should have used a little more intrigue at the first interaction.

 

[naturalmikey]

You ever use tinder? I got my text game really good from it a couple years ago.

 

[DarkKnight]

Hey Mike, for a long time I didnt use tinder. First off I discovered very late that my name was working against me, so I changed it to something westernlike: which worked. From no matches, i started to get matches. Still it did not come close to my real life interactions and i noticed that when i relied on tinder i started to underestimate myself since you get less positive results. From hot girls to average like girls who act picky is quite a drop!

However i never viewed it as a training wheel like you suggest, which is quite smart. I will start to do so. But as a supplement.

 

[DarkKnight]

Fascinating: i just made tinder 3 hours ago and already have some likes. Unfortunately the app blurs the faces of these people and I cant swipe them just yet. Also makes me wonder, are these bots?

 

[hey_lover]

Meh, double texting is one of the best strategies I have ever employed. I lost so many girls following the stupid 1:1 texting ratio rule. I have taken so many girls out on dates and to bed after double texting. There are so many reasons why a girl may not answer to a text. Sitting there trying to understand her motives is a waste of your time. If you double text and she still does not respond, then at least you can cross most of those motives off and be left with the likelihood that she just isn't that interested. Then you can swiftly move on and find someone new.

I have met so many girls who have boyfriends or men in their lives that 15x text them, send 20 miscalls amongst other incredibly stalkerish behaviour. Yet, here we are worried that double texting may come across needy. Not having a go at you, but a little pissed at myself for following such an inane rule.

 

[hey_lover]

Fuck this, I only had radio silence, which I also answered with the same silence. I simply put off acting in order to see if I would see her in person which is more my ballgame.

Jacob with concurrency did you mean congruency?

The logistical question was if she knew her way around a cafe which is near where I live. She dropped the ball there. I sense it was maybe going a little too far for her.

About the restart texts, asking her if she is shy would be great I think if I asked her after three days, but i didnt text for an entire week haha. Maybe in my quest to be non needy i have been over doing it , who knows?

I think I need a total new restart text, but again my texting is weak. My non verbals are much stronger.

Ill try something funny, maybe it works. Tomorrow, not in the mood right now.

I worked in a gym for the past 4 years. I have lost count, how many girls I lost following this strategy, despite having taken phone numbers. I put off messaging with the idea that I would see them again in the gym, except that I seldom saw them again, or only again after a few months.

 

[DarkKnight]

Hey lover,

Could be multiple things for instance that this girl had a boyfriend. I mean at one point you do have to get them out of the venue. I suspect she found me exciting for a diversion but didnt want to push it any further.

Also i would never have double texted in a normal situation, but because this girl was on a day for trial and thus not a permanent member I decided to do so. No risk no glory.