- Joined
- May 5, 2020
- Messages
- 50
hey guys i've been self torturing myself making a decision about this.
basically last year I started using drugs recrationally for creating music + game. about twice a week but it slowly crept up on me through expermentation I had a lot of nights where I abused it / vomit etc. So i'm a bit burnt out from it. Was really fun though and had some of the most epic nights in game and music creation.
So i've been avoiding the hard stuff. I've been living in North America all my life so I'm pretty bored of gaming in this city too and my ancestry is Greek so I'm thinking about gaming the cities in Greece but I'm not sure with the burn out is the great idea or I should rebuild my good habits here and then go. + covid makes travel a bit of a bitch but for daygame the possibilities seem still pretty good.
my main issues is just burn out lack of energy/motivation (because I was using amphetamines which really taps out dopamine + stims). PRobably never gunna use it again maybe like a 1-2 a month but even that I'm thinking of fuck it. The first 6 months using it was great and helped and then the last 6 months I was getting sloppier. Crept up on me.
Travel is also a potential stressor, staying away from home etc. potential annoying air bnb's etc. + covid but it also could potentially be really fun and inspire me again. Potential wifey hunt cuz I'd prefer a girl from same culture as my family . There's tons here but they're more Westernized.
Here though i'm really comfortable so it would be easy to just go through caffeine detox slowly build myself up again because the drugs slowly became a crutch. I kinda still game sober but it's just argeous. Could possible just stick to wine and coffee over there and that'll get me over the hump.
I have a decent amount of money saved by my standards and also less tourists so most approaches will be a potential local. I feel bad of potentially infecting someones grandparents or something if I'm gaming.
So not sure what to do.. I keep going back and forth. The insomnia that I have on/off is annoying and I know it goes away and I still healing rapidly off caffeine but off caffeine I'm very low energy and it's hard to do shit. Could potentially use it as like 7 months of hardcore recovery so when things potentially go back to normal I'll be healthier / stronger whereas traveling it's very hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Like if I were to go to Greece it would be between 1-3 months. Of course there I can get gym etc and try to be healthy too it will just be a bit harder because willpower is a finite resource and travelling I think makes it more difficult to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
basically last year I started using drugs recrationally for creating music + game. about twice a week but it slowly crept up on me through expermentation I had a lot of nights where I abused it / vomit etc. So i'm a bit burnt out from it. Was really fun though and had some of the most epic nights in game and music creation.
So i've been avoiding the hard stuff. I've been living in North America all my life so I'm pretty bored of gaming in this city too and my ancestry is Greek so I'm thinking about gaming the cities in Greece but I'm not sure with the burn out is the great idea or I should rebuild my good habits here and then go. + covid makes travel a bit of a bitch but for daygame the possibilities seem still pretty good.
my main issues is just burn out lack of energy/motivation (because I was using amphetamines which really taps out dopamine + stims). PRobably never gunna use it again maybe like a 1-2 a month but even that I'm thinking of fuck it. The first 6 months using it was great and helped and then the last 6 months I was getting sloppier. Crept up on me.
Travel is also a potential stressor, staying away from home etc. potential annoying air bnb's etc. + covid but it also could potentially be really fun and inspire me again. Potential wifey hunt cuz I'd prefer a girl from same culture as my family . There's tons here but they're more Westernized.
Here though i'm really comfortable so it would be easy to just go through caffeine detox slowly build myself up again because the drugs slowly became a crutch. I kinda still game sober but it's just argeous. Could possible just stick to wine and coffee over there and that'll get me over the hump.
I have a decent amount of money saved by my standards and also less tourists so most approaches will be a potential local. I feel bad of potentially infecting someones grandparents or something if I'm gaming.
So not sure what to do.. I keep going back and forth. The insomnia that I have on/off is annoying and I know it goes away and I still healing rapidly off caffeine but off caffeine I'm very low energy and it's hard to do shit. Could potentially use it as like 7 months of hardcore recovery so when things potentially go back to normal I'll be healthier / stronger whereas traveling it's very hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Like if I were to go to Greece it would be between 1-3 months. Of course there I can get gym etc and try to be healthy too it will just be a bit harder because willpower is a finite resource and travelling I think makes it more difficult to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
