Assumptions
Light-hearted guesses about the kind of person she is based on observations, setting up a topic to riff with.
“You know, you have an incredible way of walking. Confident, like a cat on the prowl. You must be a city girl.”
“You look very Latina. I’m going to guess you drive your boyfriends crazy when you dance salsa/bachata.”
“You look like a creative student lost in thought. I could totally imagine you throwing paint at a wall.”
Accusations
Used as a spikier alternative to assumptions. Challenging her by making a cheeky, ridiculous guess about something she is doing.
“You’ve got such a focused expression, like you’re in your own little bubble. Either meditating or high.”
“You’re walking so fast, like you’re trying to avoid a jealous ex boyfriend perhaps… I like it!”
“You are suspiciously well-dressed, not like a at all… but I like it!”
- Must be delivered tongue-in-cheek with a smirk and playful tone of voice. If it didn’t feel so calibrated, make it clear to her that that you are joking by adding the buffer phrase “…but I like it!” at the end.
- Some key words: dreamy, focused, marching, in a bubble, exotic, from far away, creative, studious, alternative, underground
Launchpad Story
This is a nice little bit to fill in the set. Once she gives you a topic in response to the assumption, expand on it by telling a short story or anecdote, either with a proxy or not. It should be something cheeky, light-hearted and teasing that gets her giggling and starts to set a subtle sexual frame.
Without proxy: “When I think of ____, I think of _____”
With proxy: “My friend went to/is a ____, and she told me that ____”
For example, if she says she’s from Argentina…
“When I think of Argentina, I think of empanadas, steak… and crazy wine-fuelled parties, am I right?”
Or if she says she’s a doctor…
“My friend is a doctor too and she said that although you guys look really professional in those white coats, when you all go out drinking together… it’s carnage.”
By this point, she may hook and start asking questions. If not, I’ll make another assumption and rinse/repeat.
If she says she has to go, a good little trick is:
“Yeah, I’ve gotta head off too. But listen, before you go, one more thing I noticed about you is…”
And make another observation and repeat the assumption/story cycle.
An alternative, which is good for mixing it up, is Gunwitch’s “immersion statement into Rainbow Ruse” structure, which is basically the same except that instead of a story, you do a cold read. For example:
“I noticed that you have a really relaxed vibe. You’re not from around here, are you?”
“No, I’m not”
“Yeah, I thought not. You seem like the kind of person who gets bored with a place really quickly. I bet you’re always looking to explore new places, to find something fresh and interesting.”
After the Hook
Humble Bragging
Once she starts asking about you, instead of telling her information directly, give her a partial answer, then pitch the question back to her to maintain an element of mystery. This is good for time-constrained approaches in which I’m going for a number.
(So what do you do?)
I used to be a teacher, now I work with languages.
(So where are you from?)
“I’ll give you three clues and see if you can guess. It’s a pair of islands very far away, there are more sheep than people, and we are the inventors of bungee jumping.”
(If she can’t guess it)
“Tsk tsk, minus two points for you. NZ.”
Diffusing Awkwardness
If things are getting awkward or you run out of things to say, Tom recommends verbally call out the awkwardness with a smile.
- “I’ve got brain freeze because I’m a bit nervous, I don’t know what to say…”
- “I know this is fast and we’ve just met… but I think you’re cute and I’d like to invite you out.”
Sometimes I find it’s good to hold the tension though, especially if we have some good, sexual eye contact going.
