Tom's journey

[titch]

My name's titch. I'm 18 and I live in Ireland. I recently moved out of my house so that I could start to meet women. I live up in Ireland's second biggest city(250,000 people) with my aunt. I've started my own business in the last ten days as well as starting back at the gym after a three month break. I’m really starting to grab the bull by the horns and take control of my life at the minute.
I am a virgin but had a girlfriend about six months ago. I have had some success in clubs making out with two or three girls in one night when I’m drunk. When I’m drunk my games ok but sober I feel very inhibited.
Day game is my mission at the moment. As well as to get over my approach anxiety. I have no friends in this town to go out to clubs with and day game suits my schedule better.
The last three day game sessions didn’t go great but I’ll start posting all my sessions here. I want to make approaching girls a part of my life and am in this for the long haul! If it takes a year of putting myself through the ringer every day to lose my virginity, I’ll do it!
Tomorrow’s goal is simply to say hello to two people. Shouldn’t be too hard…

 

[titch]

Day 1

Today’s goal was to say hello to two girls. Seems easy enough but this was surprisingly tough in the past. Today though it clicked a lot more. I headed into town to do some work in the library and aimed to approach one girl before I went in. This I managed after not too much walking round like other days. I was buzzing and felt like I could maybe day hello to four or five today.
This must be this magical state I was feeling. Weird how pumped I was from just saying hello lol but anyway. Went into the library, did some work for a few hours and came out again. I sat down on a bench to eat a chocolate bar. I realised this was uncomfortable for me for some reason. I felt like people would be looking at me. COMPLETELY irrational I know but I caught myself on and relaxed.
I headed down to the shop for groceries and came out ready to go again. I went into spectator mode walking around like a mug. Eventually I got ready and was like I need to act now. Act now. Now!
When I did it, it came naturally enough. I saw the girl and didn’t think. I just blurted out. After though I felt like I could do a full approach. That state again.
This is ridiculously long saying I only talked to two girls hah so I’ll wrap it up.

Lessons
Take advantage of state-
Get the first hello out quickly. It’s always going to be the hardest.

Tommorows goals
Say hello to two girls
Ask one girl the time

 

[titch]

Reading other people's journals right now, the newbie assignments in particular. I am so stoked! on tuesday I was fuming with myself for not even being able to say hi and for being a pansy. Seeing how everyone else has had the exact same problems as me and been able to move on from it is SO encouraging.

i just need to take my time, work on one thing at a time and I will get there.Can't wait for tomorrow

 

[titch]

Challenge:
Approach two girls
Ask one girl the time
Result: Success…. Kind of.
Today was a weird day. Slept in too late and basically lost my day, work wise. Really didn’t want to go into town today to day game so I did it in a different way. I went to supermarket but unsurprisingly there were no young girls there at 2pm on a Friday. The only one was a hired gun although I didn’t spend too long looking around. Was in a rush to get lunch. I did ask one girl the time although she was 50 and fat. Still did it but it wasn’t the same. Improvements, improvement though!
I went to cinema later and on walk down street to cinema I said my hellos. It was pretty easy and think I’ll complete day 4 of the newbie challenge on Monday.
Tomorrows Goals
I’m basically going through the newbie mission at my own pace. I know from experience that taking on too big a challenge will discourage me so I need to start really small and bootstrap my way up. My friend from school got dumped a week ago and we text me saying we should go out on Thursday. Another friend is coming up then as well so it should be good fun. Can’t wait to have someone to game with at a club.
I’m going home for tomorrow morning so I won’t be gaming. Will spend some time working on my voice though.
On Sunday I’m going to work some on my walk. And on Monday I will say hello to six girls

 

[titch]

Tommorows Goals:
Since I was back home for saturday night I all but forgot about this stuff. In fact, anytime I go home it's like I revert to how I used to me within seconds. Up here I feel like hustling but at home I'm a lazy bum.

Anyway tommorows goals just so I'm clear is to talk to say hello to at least four girls but I'm going to aim for six so I can finally move on from this challenge

 

[titch]

DAY 3
Todays goal was to say hello to six girls on the street. I flew through it in 25 mins or so. I found it easy enough once I got the first one out of the way. It took me an hour and a half walking around just to say hello to one girl last week so this is definitely progress. Really didn't want to go out today so this was a good day

I’m a bit anxious about tomorrow actually entering conversations so I'm going to go back to the eye contact which I skipped. Realised today that my eye contact wasn't as good as I thought. It's good in conversation but not with randomers.

Tomorrows goal:
Make eye contact with at least ten people

 

[titch]

The last two days didn’t go all that well. I was annoyed about a few other things happening in my life that just didn’t give me the time to go out. I say that but I think I was just procrastinating as this part of the challenge does intimidate me. I’m feeling in a better position to tackle it now though.

Short version I got three numbers and made out with 4 girls. This was the best I’ve ever done especially with all the numbers. I was focussed more on getting dates than pulling them back to mine. Just no there yet. The thing I’m happiest about is that for last hour I was almost sober and I was still able to go out and keeping getting dates and make outs.

Last night one of my friends text me about going out and I so almost didn’t go. I was to in my head and was quite nervous to be honest. I had my first toastmasters meeting last night which I was nervous about as well but it went fine. Didn’t say anything but did want to.

It got me thinking about how 90% of life is just showing up or whatever that quote is. I realised I just needed to get out. After all it’s better to go out kinda drunk than sit in sober. I’m really glad I got out.
The night went well. I can’t remember all that much, not from drinking, but I’ll do my best now. I have no hangover and only got 5 hours sleep or so. I was too tired to write this last night.

We went round to the student part of town for pre drinks. The reason I want to do day game is so I can learn how to approach when sober because alcohol is a real crutch for me. I didn’t have too much but was definitely tipsy when I arrived at club. When in I had two drinks and started talking to this girl B. I isolated her, moved her, we were bantering away but she wouldn’t kiss me. Oh I asked her how many boyfriends she had which she said was the cheesiest thing she’d ever heard hah worked great on the other girls though

There were a two set- I opened and they didn’t click too well. My friend came over and started talking to one of them leaving me with a really tall girl. She handed me wine before I’D hardly said hello. Talked for a few minutes but she had boyfriend.
Don’t know how many others I talked to before this girl but I saw a girl near the bar- I was paying a lot of attention to girls who were either on own or only loosely attached to group. This girl was loosely attached I think. Talked for a little while, moved her slightly out of the way-something I did a lot. Asked about boyfriend and we made out. After kissing mixed with talking for a little while I said I wanted to see her again. She was iffy about it but said to take her number and we’ll see but no promises. Didn’t really drink from this point on. Only had a shot and one beer in club.

Had a few more rejections (read learning experiences) before I noticed a girl sort of on own. Couldn’t really hear her so just pulled her in and made out. I noticed that I could basically feel her ass her dress was so short. Gave so few fucks at this point I thought I’d try and finger her then and there. Why not? Haha not sure what happened then.

*As I’m writing this I keep getting a little annoyed that I didn’t pull properly. This is sich a misguided thought as I made great progress-I went out, have potentially three dates and got a lot of make outs and had sobered up for some of them. Need to remember this!*

Next was the “Doctor” Can’t remember if she’s English but I always seem to meet English doctors. Anyway, talked for a little while. “How many boyfriends do you have?...None!...How can a sexy girl like you not have a boyfriend” done with what I hope was a sexy smile but that’s something I will need to work on. Seemed to love this and I pulled her in. Pulled her out to stairway where we chat and kiss. She starts to mention her friends missing her. I say they won’t miss you for two minutes. She keeps talking about them so I decide to ask her on date quickly. I get number and we kiss goodbye.

I was really in state here and was really starting to sober up. Can’t remember which of these came first. There was a girl loosely attached to girl. Really pretty. Biggest success of the night. We chat and I move her slightly away from friends. I tapped my ear a lot to get them to invest more quite a lot. Really liked using it. After talking for a while I ask how many boyfriends she has…None… How can a girl as pretty as you not have any boyfriends. This sounds cheesy writing it but I like saying it. Maybe I’m looking at reactions though and not results. She wouldn’t kiss me as she said we hardly knew each other. Didn’t know what to do here. I retreated a bit as we kept chatting and asked for date. This she was really open to and I get number. Still wouldn’t kiss me properly which I knew I needed to do something about or I had no hope so I got a peck on the lips. Was better than nothing.

The last one there were others I talked to but I can’t really remember-she was going outside with a friend and I tell her to talk to me for a little while and insisted she stayed. We talk and I made out with her. She was a trainee doctor too now I think about it.

Something I said all night was that I’m a writer when asked what I do which is how I spend most of my days and my business revolves around it. This got really good reactions but as we all know that’s meaningless. Maybe I should just say I’m unemployed… I’m just not confident yet about myself so I guess this is me trying to add some more value.

The other interaction I remember is with a really hot Spanish girl. I’M moving there in February- I have a serious thing for Spanish girls. She said she had a boyfriend but I definitely remember holding her hands… anyway probably overthinking that.
The girl who wants date but I didn’t kiss properly text me after the club- she was way more invested in it than me

I sent her two texts to her four. I found this one funny
G-Did you get home ok? xx
Me-Yeah. Home now. Always nice to meet a new acquaintance!
G- Acquaintance? Hahah your class  xx
Loved it. Will be used that one more. Haha hopefully I’ll get the chance to use date compression on this girl.

WHAT I DID WELL
Went out- most important I didn’t drink too much and felt pretty sober at end of night. A few times I was about to get a drink and I thought “Well I’ll learn more if I don’t” and just went back on floor.
Approached a lot
Was asked for dates before taking numbers
Was being more physical than normal- pulling girls close. etc

IMPROVEMENTS
Get the girls name. I saved their name as a nickname in front of them and have forgotten two of the girls names. Hah don’t know what to do about that haha
Go more direct-I’m not asking if there single until 3-8 minutes in. need to mention there cute or something to that effect at the start
Build a little more intrigue
Ask some less interview style questions- talk about dreams, ambitions, goals more

 

[titch]

Went home on Friday and am heading back up to city tomorrow (Monday). I think I'm going to start staying up for the weekends. This it of trekking up and down is probably hurting me in the long run-especially since the clubs are bigger Friday and Saturday if I decide to frequent more which I think I will in addition to my attempt at daygame.

From the three numbers from Thursday night I have two dates lined up for Wednesday and Thursday.

The first girl we'll call "My type" I'm sure the nicknames will get more creative as I go along hah She texted me twice on thursday night and again Friday morning saying Still up for our date this week xx" Haven't done anything with her yet. I'm really not used to getting this attention from such a pretty girl and so far she seems exactly my type. She was texting me quite a bit and once the date was finalised I tried to wait long times before replying again and only answering her question and no more which has worked. She's cut back how much she's texting me quite a bit. Meeting for coffee on the street up near where I stay. Can't wait for this one!

I deleted one of the numbers I got as I just didn't want to that much. I probably should have just for the reference and another chance to improve my date skills. I sent my other number- We'll call "English doc" -
"Hey! It's Tom from X. hope your enjoying your weekend so far- mines been hectic to say the lease. Let's grab this cup of coffee we talked about later this week. Let me know when works for you schedule-wise."
(24 hours later-I'd all but given up):Hi! Sorry yeh i've been busy too. weekends just fly in when ur at uni. Yeh well I'm in class every day but I'v a halfday on Wednesday

Anyway got the date set up. Coffee on thursday at 8. This one has a chance of flaking I think but I won't mind.

No report tomorrow as only heading up late but heading out to club on tuesday with same friend. My goal is to open more directly. I will open at least six girls directly and after that I'll just have fun! I truly can't believe i have two dates for this week. Never thought even that was possible before girlschase never mind sleeping with tons of beautiful girls. So excited about where this path could take me!

 

[titch]

Almost embarrassed to put this one up but I guess that's the whole point of these boards. I have so far to go but I won't moan, just learn

Tonight I was supposed to hit the club with friend but he called and said he was sick. Was really annoyed as I was looking forward to it. I've never been to this club before. Couldn't have went alone but hope to be able to do that type of thing soon.

Two minutes after this my girl I was having coffee with tomorrow texts me to say she can't make tomorrow but if I wanted we could meet in next few weeks at some point. Really pissed off about them both. Didn't handle this well and tried to say that she could spare 30 minutes for a quick cup of coffee and that I start travelling in new year- read the article about flaking after and realised i should have played it super cool. She siad she understood that if I was travelling I should follow my dreams and someday when I'm back we could do something (she definitely had me in boyfriend/friend category) and that she didn't want to stand in my way.

Texted a different friend who told me about a pub quiz. i thought I'd rather see friends than sit in and work. The place was covered in guys. The few girls there were tightly packed in with their groups of guys. An approach would have been insanely tough and awkward.

Tomorrow there's a party on. i think I've all but invited myself but who cares. Hopefully I''ll get out to a club with someone there and complete these six direct approaches I'm waiting to do


Lessons
MOVE FASTER- "my type" was crazy into me over weekend. I really needed to plan a date much sooner. No dilly dallying around!

 

[titch]

Won't forget this night anytime soon

I'm writing this in the morning as I stayed at a friends last night. I was mugged on my way home so it was easier to stay over. Completed my goal though so everything was ok.
I'm learning so much every approach now that I'm taking action and getting reference experiences for myself.

Chases article yesterday about not kissing girls in public came at a perfect time. I just thought I was so cool being able to do it when most of my friends can't. Believe it or not it was really hard not to try and kiss them. I had to try and have a real conversation.

The club was littered with guys. 70-80% minimum. It was kind of empty at the start but filled up later on. I really noticed what richardus said before about girls being affected by constant streams of guys talking to them and their egos just go up and up. I realised I really need to focus on learning daygame. Girls were having guys CONSTANTLY chatting them up so competition was high.

1)When I came in I saw a two set sitting on seats and I went to talk to them. I opened direct (need to practice my delivery of this). After asking her name I said "I just wanted to come talk to you because I think your cute". Imaginative opener, I know. hah. After a few minutes they sort of got up and left to dance floor.

2) Went back and talked to my friends and then I saw another girl standing alone texting on her phone. I opened direct but she never hooked.
Before the next opener I got completely blown out by a few after I just said "hey". Perhaps two to three.

People I knew from school so where sort of around our group starting to really annoy me now. They kept asking me how every approach went and slagged me for not "pulling them" I challenged them since they were all WAY too afraid to do it. I just need to focus on myself and not let wankers slow me down and ruin my state.

3-5)The order of the next three direct approachs I have no idea about. One was a girl I saw on stairs and I "locked in". Opened direct but she said she had to see her friends and I didn't care walking off. Another was a girl downstairs. she almost hooked but a guy came in and grabbed her. I had no idea what to do. There was definitely one more.....Oh yea. I was at bar getting a drink for my friend (I didn't drink at all in the club). My friend behind pointed the girl I was next to out. I did a hip bump, shook hands and I did the direct opener. We talked for a little while but I was pissed off at this point and wanted to leave. My friend I usually go out with was still kind of sick so I walked him home. i wanted to go home too but I had to collect stuff from their house so I had to wait. I decided to make the most of what I could and did still need one more direct approach to hit my goal.

I was so out of state at this point. need to learn state control so much.

6)The girl on the stairs was possibly when I went back in. I'm definitely missing one. I went to toilet and noticed lots of seats on other side of the room. I opened a pretty two set sitting down beside one. I couldn't hear her too well so moved over to the other side of the table. I hooked with this girl and did use the direct opener- she was all but ignoring her friend. In retrospect I was really going indirect, direct. I know for next time. I asked this girl if we could go for coffee sometime. She had a boyfriend but her friend sat down beside the two of us at this point. She suggested I go talk to her friend and I foolishly said "she's not as good looking as you two" not realising they were friends.

Went and sat beside the other girl. Asked her to move her bag so I could sit down pretty quickly. Indirect, direct again. We talked and I did start to run out of things to say. I would involve the other friends now and again when this would happen. I asked her for coffee and she agreed. Got number and went on way. I wanted to kiss her but remembered my new rule only kiss girls when we're alone! I did kiss one girl after only a hello and serious eye contact just to see if I could. God damn it was easy.

I like RSD videos. Not so much for the pickup advice because I find the stuff here much superior, but for the lifestyle/inspiration stuff. I tried out a few things I'd heard from there since i'd achieved my goals. I used the claw twice. think it might work better in a club where not every guy is grabbing girls hands and stuff.

On my way home the rest of them went home and they thought I was away home too. I had to walk home alone. It only was a ten minute walk so that wasn't too bad. I was literally 30 seconds from where I was staying when a guy came out shouting at me "You starting on my mate there" There was no one around and he started asking did I have a knife while patting me down. Then he was shouting "that's a knife in your pocket"and stuck his hands into both my pockets. He took my phone and wallet making me open up my wallet to show him there was no knife. He went through it himself and raised his fist as if to hit me. He mumbled something and walked the other way.

I turned around and was about to ask him can I have my wallet back. I'd forgot he had it. Shows how naive I am. I wised up and legged it down the road. It's funny because I've been worried about getting mugged when I go travelling in the new year and I get mugged at home. I'm almost glad it happened-good life experience

Goals
I have no money so I'm just heading home for weekend. I'm supposed to have a date tonight with "English Doctor" but she seems extremely flakey and I have no way of knowing whether or not if she'll even go. I don't even have the funds for a cup of coffee so I'll just stand her up. However, I WILL approach at least one girl in a daygame setting over the weekend. Last night proved to me that daygame will be easier once I get past AA.

Learnt
Need to practice direct opener- practice it with facial mannerisms just like I always practiced my pitch when I worked in sales.
Be more self amused- Don't let rejections or people slagging me for them put me off.
Don't let so much time go between interactions.
Stay off dancefloor- not my place