iancasablanco said:
I'm having an issue lately with girls falling into auto-rejection left and right and not wanting to move things forward with me because of how flirty I am with other girls, it sucks because usually I am very interested in them, and I want nothing to do with the girls they're getting jealous of. I can see that it's one of those too much of a good thing situations, but I also don't want the girls trying to move too slowly with me. So hopefully you other guys out there can give me a hand if you've gone through this, where, in the forum's opinion, lies the right balance of edginess and warmth?
Hey Iancasablanco!
I struggled with this too. Especially because my college is like a high school size, a lot of girls started getting a weird vibe from me because of all the other girls I was meeting were seeing me with different girls all the time. It increased their attraction for me, but they got suspicious. So my advice is, it's best that you keep things as discrete as possible about other girls. Well the thing is, it's GOOD in a way because of preselection, and if a girl sees you as a player, it's attractive in a way because she knows other girls want you. Here's the deal though, you have to make the girl feel special. Chase wrote an article about breaking circle where if you are talking to a girl and someone interrupts, you don't openly welcome them in or EVEN WORSE leave. If you do that, then the girl will feel like you don't like her, then shift into auto-rejection because she didn't want to get hurt. You have to make the girl free special, and connect to her well. It's usually good if she knows she isn't the only one on your radar, however, because it's harder for her to "tame" you, it shows you aren't desperate/have options, and you're more of a challenge that way (attraction goes up). That being said, try to keep your life as a PUA on the DL, otherwise girls will know exactly what you are doing (going to every cute girl) then will start to grow suspicious. If she sees you with girls that appear to like you, but you make it like it's no big deal and that you don't like them, then I think that's good, JUST DON'T FLIRT WITH THEM in front of her. That'll send you packing and shipped off into auto-rejection land.
Chase also mentioned how he took his girlfriend to meet his friend for a meal, and his friend started bringing up his pick up life, so the girl was on guard/defensive and potentially felt the need to watch his every move (I'm sure Chase diffused this/minimized this somehow). Once again, DON'T FLIRT with other girls when you're with a girl you're trying to get with. She should be the focal point of your attention, and if you start scanning and looking for other girls, she'll grow cold and distance herself from you, to avoid getting hurt. If there's a group of you, and you want to make her jealous, you can talk to the other girls, but MAKE SURE you go back to her and make her feel that you are the main girl you are interested in within the group, or she may go cold and into auto-rejection.
Read up on Chase's stuff, I hope I've helped!
Garrett
