Communication between humans (and animals) is mostly done through body language, the estimates are around 80%, or whatever the number is. The rest is actual words itself, and even then there is underlying communication in tone, speed, articulation, pitch or depth of person's voice - which also speaks for itself...
That is why body language is so important, because person can "communicate" who he is and what he want just with his body language. Girls are also very sensitive in reading body language and tuned to details; what most guys can't 'see' girls can recognize quite easily...
When you read things on the internet, you can't really see the whole body language of the author, you don't hear his tone, the way he looks at you, the speed in which he talks, how he stands or walks, how he communicates the whole message. That's why it is sometimes so difficult to interpret the "real text" because 80% of what is behind it is missing; many times you could be surprised that the author actually has quite different personality than you originally thought...
So it is in advantage of each guy to learn body language because by knowing that he can influence most people, especially girls. Again, girls are very good at reading body language, they assess the guy who approaches them by his body language, and sometimes they even decide whether they like him enough or not - even before he opens his mouth...
So if the guy is getting numbers but he can never get dates, it may actually be a huge problem with his overall body language, and not just with his "clever" words: Type your number to my phone... Said differently, if a guy has good body language she will give him her number and she will go for date with him, no matter what words he says...
So why only focus on those 20% of communication that are only words, and leave out those 80% that is the whole body language? That doesn't even make sense. Focus on those 80% first, and leave the clever words for the end...
Watch great actors in movies. They are just 'saying' the same words like everybody else, except there is "just something" about them. Well, that "something" is really their whole body language, their tone of the voice, their eye contact and so on. Listen to radio, how great radio talkers talk, the articulation, speed and dept of their voice, their intonation... You don't see the body language, but they are masters of their voice because they convey their whole message through their voice...
Body language is tightly connected to our emotions and our thoughts. If a person feels down, if he's depressed and has low self esteem, his whole body is "down". He looks down, his muscles have no tone, his face looks depressed, his breathing is depressed, his speech is slow, quiet and timid, he doesn't talk at all. If the person is anxious, he is very tight. He is nervous, 'jumpy', he sweats a lot and his breathing is shallow. He talks very fast, he is jumping from one idea to another. I believe that most people can easily recognize depressed person from happy person, or anxious person from relaxed person.
Exactly the same way, if the person feels great about himself, he feels and thinks sexy, if he believes himself, if he is relaxed enough and breaths deeply, he is confident, he is in "can do anything" mode and so on, all this 'inner' attitude or mind set is simply reflected in how he appears - how he walks, talks, how he looks into other people's eyes, how much space he takes, what is the tone of his voice, even things he talks about.
"Being yourself" is a confusing concept. Yes, you always want to be yourself, BUT:
There is a difference, for example, say that guy doesn't trust himself, he is very anxious, he is shy and has no experience. He decides that once he talks to a girl he will push for sex no matter what. So he meets her, talks to her, he touches her with sweaty hands, he's got fear in his face because he is very afraid of rejection. His shoulders are tight, he can't keep looking in her eyes because he is very nervous. He worries about what she says and if she likes him enough, and he tries to have some conversation about sex because he thinks that she needs to know that he wants sex. He is not comfortable with that idea at all, he is not comfortable with himself at all. Finally, he kisses her and he says in nervous voice while gasping for air: "Do you want to go to my place?". What is the likelihood that he will get rejected, no matter what he does? The likelihood is very high. There are just no vibes, she will say NO. He then persists and persists, and the more he persists the more she will distant herself from him because he appears too needy, too insecure... This guy is just too much anxious, too much irritated and unstable, too pushy, there is no pleasure, there is no 'sexy' vibes...
Compare to another guy. He is relaxed, calm. He talks slower with playful and deeper voice, while keeping deep eye contact. He trusts himself. He smiles gently, she can read pleasure in his face, and he already has his palm confidently on her inner thighs for several minutes. He gives her a passionate kiss and says: "Let's go babe", he grabs her hands and he leads his way... But she gives him some resistance because she doesn't want to make it so easy. So she resists, but he confidently persists, while he could care less if she rejects him or not... He just doesn't give a damn about rejections... This guy is relaxed, his emotions are calm, he is stable, he is just comfortable in his own skin, he feels great just the way he is. There are overall good vibes, and she just knows that he wants sex even without him saying one word about it... She knows he wants sex by the way he looks at her, by the tone of his voice, by the way he touches her...
So if a guy is overall quite confident, he is quite sexy and has the determination to get that girl to the bed - what does it really matter what is his body language? It doesn't matter, he doesn't have to worry about his body language at all - because all his thoughts and emotions are already reflected in it, he can just be himself (and many naturals are)...
So be the 'self' that is more relaxed and more confident, that feels more sexy. It is just practice, the more practice the better you get. Start with good emotions and relaxation, start with good belief system. Then add a good body language to it, stand up confident and erected, yet be always relaxed. Have always relaxed and deep/confident look, always reflect positive emotions in your face, and have calm and low vibing voice. That is the 'self' you want to be. Be that self, trust that self. Add some sexy thoughts to it, determination that you want that girl in your bed. The last 20% are the actual words that you say - so what does it really matter what you say? 80% is already done, she is not stupid - she already knows what you want because she can read your body language and emotions quite well... If you feel sexy and confident, if you feel great about yourself - you can say (or text) whatever the fuck you want say... you will never have to worry about what she thinks/says about you, and you will always be 'self'...
