Tough Situation - Time Sensitive Advice Requested!

[sociably genY]

Hi All -

Background ---

So a little context before I begin with my request. I met this girls, very attractive has a good job, and overall a cool person. She is my roommate's co-worker that I met during a gathering about a month ago. We had a few deep conversations, strong EC, and overall I think I made a strong first impression of myself. AT the party, I was going to attempt to move things forward with her but I declined in favor of more safer, random target outside my social circle. Also something to note, she invited me to "friendsgiving" that I had to miss due to family obligations.

Current Situation ---

Fast forward to last night. I have a work Christmas party on Dec 13th. My date for the party flaked so now I have a week to find a replacement. The first girl that came to mind was my roommate's friend. I texted him to make sure she was single, then asked for her number via call. I explained everything to him and he likes the idea and basically is not attached to the outcome.

The request ---

Now my request: How should I bring up the fact I got her number from my roommate (Awkward Area #1) How should I proceed with getting her to come with me to this party (Step 2).

My initial idea was to call her and apologize for missing friendsgiving, and tell her I tortured my roommate to give me her number to reconnect with her. This way, there is a reason for calling her plus an explanation how I got he number. Lastly, I would ask her for coffee for either Saturday or Sunday morning then depending on that interaction I would spring the question. I plan on calling her today at 630-7. It is raining where I am so I know she wont be out that early after work. I think it's a solid time to call.

Currently, I peg my chances at around 15% this will work out. Any and all advice regarding the situation is much appreciated!

 

[Franco]

sociably genY,

Ok, let's try to help you out here before you make a multitude of mistakes.

How should I bring up the fact I got her number from my roommate (Awkward Area #1) How should I proceed with getting her to come with me to this party (Step 2).

Question 1's answer: you don't. Question 2's answer: you don't.

In all honesty, you should have asked for her number when you met her. This sounds mostly like a missed opportunity. However, if you'd like to give it a shot, you ask your roommate if he can ask her if it's okay if you contact her by having him grab her cell number. The next point I would like to make is that you shouldn't get her to come with you to this party. I suggest you begin reading some of the articles on this website, but to quickly give you some information, your dates should never be in a social environment with people that either of you know. Your dates should be one-on-one so that you can create a personal connection and you can move things forward in the interaction without the girl worrying about any social repercussions.

My initial idea was to call her and apologize for missing friendsgiving, and tell her I tortured my roommate to give me her number to reconnect with her.

Not a good idea at all. You should never apologize to a woman unless you legitimately have a good reason to apologize, and not being able to make an invitation to an event is not a good reason. You only apologize to women when you make serious emotional mistakes, and you do not make a big deal about it.

You also definitely don't want to mention that you "tortured" your roommate for her number as it sounds needy and almost creepy since she barely knows you. You simply "asked" if you could have her number is a better way of putting it. This needs to come across as nonchalant as possible.

Lastly, I would ask her for coffee for either Saturday or Sunday morning then depending on that interaction I would spring the question.

You should ask her for coffee at night if you can so that she understands that you prefer it to be an intimate setting, and then instead of inviting her to a party, you should be attempting to invite her home with you after the coffee so that you can escalate and take her to bed. A girl's heart is won by moving things forward toward sexual intercourse, not by trying to impress her at a social event.

I would take this new diagnostics quiz that will help you determine where you are at with women, and when it does, it will suggest to you some reading material that may prove helpful to have a better understanding on what you should do in the future.

Hope this helps! =)

- Franco

 

[sociably genY]

It definitely helps Franco. I appreciate all of the candid feedback!