- Joined
- Feb 5, 2017
- Messages
- 1,055
Prelude
So I had set up a date for Friday night, intending to avoid my usual venue because of bouncer issues. But the date flaked on me, which annoyed this shit out of me-so I told myself that I was going to go out and find an even more attractive girl and bring her home.
I succeeded (partially).
Wanting to explore something new, I went to a spot I’d heard good things about-unfortunately, it turned out to be a club. One far too expensive bar tab, and a few hours later, I left. I decided to head to some other areas of the city I knew I liked the nightlife of, but by and large, everything had lines going around corners. So I kept walking…
The Approach
I see a girl walking towards me, and her phone has its flashlight on. I can tell this girl is my type-exactly my type of face-kind of like Ali Cobrin. I walk a step onto the street, then open.
“Excuse me, I just had to ask… Why were you using the flashlight like that?”
She stops, and doesn’t turn towards me yet, so I keep facing forward, with just my face angled towards her. She says something about using it for checking herself out, and I tease her a bit, then cold read her accent. I end up in the general area, then mention that I used to have a girlfriend from that region. Somewhere around this time, she turns more fully towards me, so I also return the attention. I make some more banter talk here, and pretend to notice a car coming. I lightly grab her elbow and take a step back, so now I’ve moved her too. We’re fully facing each other, and I sense rising compliance that I think I can move her to another bar. I basically just lightly yes ladder her into coming with me, and we head off. I hold my arm open, and she links her arm with mine as we set off.
Venue 1
The walk to the bar is easy and the conversation flows well. Once we reach, I switch from our linked arms to grabbing her hand to pull her through, to the outdoor patio in the back. Here we sit for like 30 minutes or so.
I run a couple of gambits/SOTs. Good sex gambit, some contrasting, get her input. Fairly basic stuff, and nothing too far from textbook. Some interesting bits are that she tells me she normally has a lot of guys around because she likes something in everyone. At the same time, she quickly goes from guy to guy. She dislikes her small town back home because she had a bit of a reputation. I set discretion, and non-judgmental frames here.
At some point I feel that she’ll accept the pull, so I just need to set some quick plausible deniability to do so. I ask her what she likes to do in the city, knowing she’ll ask me the question back (or some question back that I can use to answer in the way I want to set up plausible deniability). So I give her a story about how I have some wonderful fruit wine at home, and then change subjects. After one change in conversation, I give her an honest compliment about her personality that I like, then go for the pull, which she readily accepts.
The FU
The walk home, we stop by and buy some cigarettes, and then keep going. Conversation is smooth and bantery, so it never feels like it’s taking a long time. Once home, she comes in, then immediately explores the apartment, then goes into my room, and sits on the bed.
I probably should have just started escalating here. But instead, I set some music, and she asks about the wine, so we go back out of my room.
After this, mistakes pile on top of mistakes.
Mid-escalation, I desperately feel the urge to pee, so I have to pause escalation and go to the bathroom. This basically sinks the entire rest of the escalation path, and I think added a lot to her mind that something about me didn’t add up (me being incongruent with earlier perceptions she had). It’s at this point that she starts to steer and take over the frames that I had set earlier. She asks if it’s okay that we don’t have sex today, saying that she’s done it a lot recently and doesn’t like it. I try to do a reframe, but it’s not a very good one.
She also starts to bring her phone out a lot more throughout this part, looking at it, messaging people, etc.
It’s pretty easy to picture how this goes next. I try to escalate, she reciprocates a bit, then backs off, and never lets herself get too fully immersed in the escalation. I pause for a bit, and we go onto the balcony and she smokes. I run a couple of sex talk gambits on her (8 orgasms/sexual frustration). We head back inside, and cuddle on the couch, but she says she needs to be up early for work, and that she needs to leave.
Analysis
It's easy to be annoyed and angry at myself over this (and I'm furious). But I think it showcases some impressive growth as well. This is me, low momentum, doing something I rarely do, and normally can only do on high momentum. Street nightgame is difficult for me, and here I had a gorgeous girl eating out of my hands for most of it. I've also been complaining about lacking sexual edge recently in my journal posts, and yesterday night was the first time in a while I've felt that start to bleed back into myself.
Escalation is certainly an issue for me at this point. I have a lot of reference points from the early game and mid game to know the patterns and read a girls vibe to tell where we're at and how to behave at different points to move the interaction forward. It's incredible to say, but at this point, I have strong confidence that if I have a girl past the hook, in a 1:1 situation with me, that I can pull her home with high probability. Escalation represents a natural step along that path to truly consistent game that I just haven't had enough data points to truly know what to do in situations, even if I mentally know in the moment what is right.
I knew when I saw her sit on my bed in the very first moments inside my apartment, that this was a good thing. But I didn't listen to myself, and tried sticking to a script. I knew when I got back from the bathroom that something had changed completely.
That's ultimately why I think my early-mid game has improved so much (when I get past the hook). I'm able to be flexible in terms of knowing what to do, and so can better respond to things as they come up.
It's clear what the next steps are-I just need to have more experiences in the late game, and continue to grow. I'm certainly angry about this, and it's good that I am-it will push me to fix myself next time and try to find new ways to deal with it in the future.
So I had set up a date for Friday night, intending to avoid my usual venue because of bouncer issues. But the date flaked on me, which annoyed this shit out of me-so I told myself that I was going to go out and find an even more attractive girl and bring her home.
I succeeded (partially).
Wanting to explore something new, I went to a spot I’d heard good things about-unfortunately, it turned out to be a club. One far too expensive bar tab, and a few hours later, I left. I decided to head to some other areas of the city I knew I liked the nightlife of, but by and large, everything had lines going around corners. So I kept walking…
The Approach
I see a girl walking towards me, and her phone has its flashlight on. I can tell this girl is my type-exactly my type of face-kind of like Ali Cobrin. I walk a step onto the street, then open.
“Excuse me, I just had to ask… Why were you using the flashlight like that?”
She stops, and doesn’t turn towards me yet, so I keep facing forward, with just my face angled towards her. She says something about using it for checking herself out, and I tease her a bit, then cold read her accent. I end up in the general area, then mention that I used to have a girlfriend from that region. Somewhere around this time, she turns more fully towards me, so I also return the attention. I make some more banter talk here, and pretend to notice a car coming. I lightly grab her elbow and take a step back, so now I’ve moved her too. We’re fully facing each other, and I sense rising compliance that I think I can move her to another bar. I basically just lightly yes ladder her into coming with me, and we head off. I hold my arm open, and she links her arm with mine as we set off.
Venue 1
The walk to the bar is easy and the conversation flows well. Once we reach, I switch from our linked arms to grabbing her hand to pull her through, to the outdoor patio in the back. Here we sit for like 30 minutes or so.
I run a couple of gambits/SOTs. Good sex gambit, some contrasting, get her input. Fairly basic stuff, and nothing too far from textbook. Some interesting bits are that she tells me she normally has a lot of guys around because she likes something in everyone. At the same time, she quickly goes from guy to guy. She dislikes her small town back home because she had a bit of a reputation. I set discretion, and non-judgmental frames here.
At some point I feel that she’ll accept the pull, so I just need to set some quick plausible deniability to do so. I ask her what she likes to do in the city, knowing she’ll ask me the question back (or some question back that I can use to answer in the way I want to set up plausible deniability). So I give her a story about how I have some wonderful fruit wine at home, and then change subjects. After one change in conversation, I give her an honest compliment about her personality that I like, then go for the pull, which she readily accepts.
The FU
The walk home, we stop by and buy some cigarettes, and then keep going. Conversation is smooth and bantery, so it never feels like it’s taking a long time. Once home, she comes in, then immediately explores the apartment, then goes into my room, and sits on the bed.
I probably should have just started escalating here. But instead, I set some music, and she asks about the wine, so we go back out of my room.
After this, mistakes pile on top of mistakes.
Mid-escalation, I desperately feel the urge to pee, so I have to pause escalation and go to the bathroom. This basically sinks the entire rest of the escalation path, and I think added a lot to her mind that something about me didn’t add up (me being incongruent with earlier perceptions she had). It’s at this point that she starts to steer and take over the frames that I had set earlier. She asks if it’s okay that we don’t have sex today, saying that she’s done it a lot recently and doesn’t like it. I try to do a reframe, but it’s not a very good one.
She also starts to bring her phone out a lot more throughout this part, looking at it, messaging people, etc.
It’s pretty easy to picture how this goes next. I try to escalate, she reciprocates a bit, then backs off, and never lets herself get too fully immersed in the escalation. I pause for a bit, and we go onto the balcony and she smokes. I run a couple of sex talk gambits on her (8 orgasms/sexual frustration). We head back inside, and cuddle on the couch, but she says she needs to be up early for work, and that she needs to leave.
Analysis
It's easy to be annoyed and angry at myself over this (and I'm furious). But I think it showcases some impressive growth as well. This is me, low momentum, doing something I rarely do, and normally can only do on high momentum. Street nightgame is difficult for me, and here I had a gorgeous girl eating out of my hands for most of it. I've also been complaining about lacking sexual edge recently in my journal posts, and yesterday night was the first time in a while I've felt that start to bleed back into myself.
Escalation is certainly an issue for me at this point. I have a lot of reference points from the early game and mid game to know the patterns and read a girls vibe to tell where we're at and how to behave at different points to move the interaction forward. It's incredible to say, but at this point, I have strong confidence that if I have a girl past the hook, in a 1:1 situation with me, that I can pull her home with high probability. Escalation represents a natural step along that path to truly consistent game that I just haven't had enough data points to truly know what to do in situations, even if I mentally know in the moment what is right.
I knew when I saw her sit on my bed in the very first moments inside my apartment, that this was a good thing. But I didn't listen to myself, and tried sticking to a script. I knew when I got back from the bathroom that something had changed completely.
That's ultimately why I think my early-mid game has improved so much (when I get past the hook). I'm able to be flexible in terms of knowing what to do, and so can better respond to things as they come up.
It's clear what the next steps are-I just need to have more experiences in the late game, and continue to grow. I'm certainly angry about this, and it's good that I am-it will push me to fix myself next time and try to find new ways to deal with it in the future.
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