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Troubleshooting/Applying Material

Bboy100

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jan 2, 2015
Messages
1,107
Hi guys.

So, lately, I've been running into an interesting dilemma. I'm not really sure how to effectively apply the material on girlschase and use it in my everyday situations. For example, lets say I read an article on being Charismatic or Being Cool or Being Edgy or w.e. And I decide I want to work on it. If I go into a social situation actively thinking "Ok, I'm going to try to be cool by doing the four or five things Chase discussed in his article". The problem is, I always end up being stuck in my head and become super anxious/weird. Why? Because I'm not being present-minded. I'm analyzing everything, and so by default, I end up doing something really awkward, or nothing at all.

On the other hand, I could just go on autopilot. If I do that, then I may or may not end up acting natural. But in this scenario, I wouldn't really be working on myself. I would just be doing whatever I normally do. And If I do what I normally do, then I'm not really in control of whether or not I improve myself.

For example, I've been going to quite a few parties lately, with the thought process "Ok, open a girl and go through my process." And the whole time, even while I talked to her, I would always end up thinking, "Ok, I need to go into deep-diving, then move her" or w.e the next step is. And of course, as expected, it showed. It was always obvious via my facial expressions and fundamentals that I was being calculating as opposed to just being natural. So, I more or less always lost her.

Any suggestions?

Also, this mode of being "calculating" also makes it much more difficult to open a girl to begin with...but that's a separate issue.

A second thing that I've been thinking is that when an interaction goes badly, it can be very difficult to figure out the cause. ...Is it my fundamentals, is it my opener, am I violating law of least effort. etc. Do you guys have any methods for troubleshooting what the cause of a lost interaction is?
 

Suave

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Oct 13, 2014
Messages
73
I'll just say, you're overthinking stuff and overdoing it as well.

I have been reading GC for about a year now and it's now that I have started to gather the courage to walk up to a girl. If you already can do that, it's great job!

I'd say, focus on one thing at a time, if you want to practice opening, just focus on that, all the interaction past that is a bonus, use it to make yourself comfortable with the "Dance".

Also, stuff on GC is like a filter. You should not seek to act from the content here but just filter what you do through what GC suggests. And I'd still say focus on one factor at a time.

Wanna look effortless? Go out and focus on that for the whole day.
Wanna walk better? Go on a walk, focusing on your legs.
Want better voice? Go talk to your friends while monitoring voice,doesn't matter if girl/guy. Just talk!

Remember, it's about being a better man, but congruence plays a huge role too.

Don't try to be perfect, just wake up the next day, improved, no matter how little, just improved.

Cheers mate!
 

PrettyDecent

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 2, 2013
Messages
865
Bboy100 said:
Why? Because I'm not being present-minded. I'm analyzing everything, and so by default, I end up doing something really awkward, or nothing at all.

Totally fine - I think you have to go through that phase before you come out on the other side with those traits.

It's kind of like if you want straighter posture - you are forcing yourself to be in a position that's not normally comfortable for you, and others may be able to tell. But after keeping at it for a few months, it looks like you've always had a straight back and it becomes your new 'natural'.

Bboy100 said:
A second thing that I've been thinking is that when an interaction goes badly, it can be very difficult to figure out the cause. ...Is it my fundamentals, is it my opener, am I violating law of least effort. etc. Do you guys have any methods for troubleshooting what the cause of a lost interaction is?

Yeah, I remember this! Nah, you'll have no idea until you overcome the problem actually. And the reason why is because you have no idea what the problem is in the first place.

And how can you fix something if you don't know what the problem is? Just keep guessing solutions 'till you find one that works.

~Nick
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Bboy100

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jan 2, 2015
Messages
1,107
Hmm, well that's not very satisfying to hear. But I definitely recognize that it is also probably true.

Thx for the tips guys. :)
 
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