- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Hi guys.
So, lately, I've been running into an interesting dilemma. I'm not really sure how to effectively apply the material on girlschase and use it in my everyday situations. For example, lets say I read an article on being Charismatic or Being Cool or Being Edgy or w.e. And I decide I want to work on it. If I go into a social situation actively thinking "Ok, I'm going to try to be cool by doing the four or five things Chase discussed in his article". The problem is, I always end up being stuck in my head and become super anxious/weird. Why? Because I'm not being present-minded. I'm analyzing everything, and so by default, I end up doing something really awkward, or nothing at all.
On the other hand, I could just go on autopilot. If I do that, then I may or may not end up acting natural. But in this scenario, I wouldn't really be working on myself. I would just be doing whatever I normally do. And If I do what I normally do, then I'm not really in control of whether or not I improve myself.
For example, I've been going to quite a few parties lately, with the thought process "Ok, open a girl and go through my process." And the whole time, even while I talked to her, I would always end up thinking, "Ok, I need to go into deep-diving, then move her" or w.e the next step is. And of course, as expected, it showed. It was always obvious via my facial expressions and fundamentals that I was being calculating as opposed to just being natural. So, I more or less always lost her.
Any suggestions?
Also, this mode of being "calculating" also makes it much more difficult to open a girl to begin with...but that's a separate issue.
A second thing that I've been thinking is that when an interaction goes badly, it can be very difficult to figure out the cause. ...Is it my fundamentals, is it my opener, am I violating law of least effort. etc. Do you guys have any methods for troubleshooting what the cause of a lost interaction is?
So, lately, I've been running into an interesting dilemma. I'm not really sure how to effectively apply the material on girlschase and use it in my everyday situations. For example, lets say I read an article on being Charismatic or Being Cool or Being Edgy or w.e. And I decide I want to work on it. If I go into a social situation actively thinking "Ok, I'm going to try to be cool by doing the four or five things Chase discussed in his article". The problem is, I always end up being stuck in my head and become super anxious/weird. Why? Because I'm not being present-minded. I'm analyzing everything, and so by default, I end up doing something really awkward, or nothing at all.
On the other hand, I could just go on autopilot. If I do that, then I may or may not end up acting natural. But in this scenario, I wouldn't really be working on myself. I would just be doing whatever I normally do. And If I do what I normally do, then I'm not really in control of whether or not I improve myself.
For example, I've been going to quite a few parties lately, with the thought process "Ok, open a girl and go through my process." And the whole time, even while I talked to her, I would always end up thinking, "Ok, I need to go into deep-diving, then move her" or w.e the next step is. And of course, as expected, it showed. It was always obvious via my facial expressions and fundamentals that I was being calculating as opposed to just being natural. So, I more or less always lost her.
Any suggestions?
Also, this mode of being "calculating" also makes it much more difficult to open a girl to begin with...but that's a separate issue.
A second thing that I've been thinking is that when an interaction goes badly, it can be very difficult to figure out the cause. ...Is it my fundamentals, is it my opener, am I violating law of least effort. etc. Do you guys have any methods for troubleshooting what the cause of a lost interaction is?
