- Joined
- Aug 13, 2021
- Messages
- 309
Hi guys,
I’m trying to get my head around frame, and I want to make sure I’ve understood things properly before I start reading more about it.
It seems to be the type of theoretical concept that will take a while to fully understand, and then once you get it, a lot of other things will start to make more sense and you’ll begin to see it everywhere.
I think I can see how it works in general social interactions (eg. 2 people debating politics) but I’m struggling to understand it in a man/woman sexual interaction.
This is maybe because I can more easily understand 2 people arguing as I can put myself in the position of the other person with a different political point of view, in a debate but I can’t do that very well with seeing things from the girl’s point of view in a pickup situation.
I don’t think I’ve quite got it yet, but am I on the right track?
Frame
A frame is a lens through which people/things are perceived by others and the image a person projects to others.
Internal frame
Your personal beliefs and experiences and the way they influence your perception of yourself and other people.
For example, I would rather pursue women who are confident, as I believe they will be better in bed and more fun to spend time with than women who are not so confident.
Or
I believe I’m a high-value man, so I deserve to be with high-value women
External Frames
The image you present to the world based on your internal beliefs.
So, if I want to appear friendly, for instance, I would smile a lot. And my reason for doing that would be that I believe that people will like me more if I am friendly and if they like me then I’ll be able to develop relationships with them more effectively.
Frame setting
How the frames of 2 people interact with one another and affect how their interaction will go.
So, for example - 2 people with very strong opposing pollical beliefs will have see the world very differently through their personal political frames and will likely argue with one another and have an antagonistic relationship as a result
2 guys who support the same football team, and if this is the basis for their interaction with one another, will likely have a friendly relationship, even if they disagree about aspects of their team’s performance
If a guy presents or frames himself in a way that fits with a women’s internal frame of what she values sexually in a guy, then she will fancy him and consider him as a potential sexual partner.
However if he presents himself in a way that doesn’t do that, then she might view him as a potential friend, if he meets her internal frame for a platonic friend (maybe he’s fun to be around but not sexy), or might be totally turned off by him, if he doesn’t meet her internal frame for having the qualities she demands for any interaction to take place (eg. he has really bad personal hygiene and stinks)
Frame battle
When 2 frames don’t align with each other then they compete until one dominates (not sure I’ve got this right) or the interaction is cut short (eg. one person just decides to walk away)
Reframing
When 2 frames don’t align then the frame for the interaction will need to be reset in some way in order for the interaction to becomes ‘successful’.
So, if the girl in the example above, just sees me as a potential friend and not a sexual partner, then I have to change how she perceives me, so she does see me as a sexual partner, which then changes the context of our interaction away from a girl talking to a potential friend, and into girl talking to a potential sexual partner.
Frame control
When someone tries to control how the other person perceives them and the context of their interaction.
In the example I’ve been using. She thinks I’m a potential friend, but I change her perception of me (somehow, I don’t know how though) so that she changes her opinion and thinks of me in a sexual way now. So, if I did that, I’d be controlling her frame and the frame of our interaction (I think)
Okay, I don’t think I’ve got this correct though, I think it’s more complicated than that and my description is a bit vague because I don’t get it yet.
Arrrgh. My brain hurts. I see how this is hugely important and I need to understand it.
Any help is much appreciated,
Cheers
I’m trying to get my head around frame, and I want to make sure I’ve understood things properly before I start reading more about it.
It seems to be the type of theoretical concept that will take a while to fully understand, and then once you get it, a lot of other things will start to make more sense and you’ll begin to see it everywhere.
I think I can see how it works in general social interactions (eg. 2 people debating politics) but I’m struggling to understand it in a man/woman sexual interaction.
This is maybe because I can more easily understand 2 people arguing as I can put myself in the position of the other person with a different political point of view, in a debate but I can’t do that very well with seeing things from the girl’s point of view in a pickup situation.
I don’t think I’ve quite got it yet, but am I on the right track?
Frame
A frame is a lens through which people/things are perceived by others and the image a person projects to others.
Internal frame
Your personal beliefs and experiences and the way they influence your perception of yourself and other people.
For example, I would rather pursue women who are confident, as I believe they will be better in bed and more fun to spend time with than women who are not so confident.
Or
I believe I’m a high-value man, so I deserve to be with high-value women
External Frames
The image you present to the world based on your internal beliefs.
So, if I want to appear friendly, for instance, I would smile a lot. And my reason for doing that would be that I believe that people will like me more if I am friendly and if they like me then I’ll be able to develop relationships with them more effectively.
Frame setting
How the frames of 2 people interact with one another and affect how their interaction will go.
So, for example - 2 people with very strong opposing pollical beliefs will have see the world very differently through their personal political frames and will likely argue with one another and have an antagonistic relationship as a result
2 guys who support the same football team, and if this is the basis for their interaction with one another, will likely have a friendly relationship, even if they disagree about aspects of their team’s performance
If a guy presents or frames himself in a way that fits with a women’s internal frame of what she values sexually in a guy, then she will fancy him and consider him as a potential sexual partner.
However if he presents himself in a way that doesn’t do that, then she might view him as a potential friend, if he meets her internal frame for a platonic friend (maybe he’s fun to be around but not sexy), or might be totally turned off by him, if he doesn’t meet her internal frame for having the qualities she demands for any interaction to take place (eg. he has really bad personal hygiene and stinks)
Frame battle
When 2 frames don’t align with each other then they compete until one dominates (not sure I’ve got this right) or the interaction is cut short (eg. one person just decides to walk away)
Reframing
When 2 frames don’t align then the frame for the interaction will need to be reset in some way in order for the interaction to becomes ‘successful’.
So, if the girl in the example above, just sees me as a potential friend and not a sexual partner, then I have to change how she perceives me, so she does see me as a sexual partner, which then changes the context of our interaction away from a girl talking to a potential friend, and into girl talking to a potential sexual partner.
Frame control
When someone tries to control how the other person perceives them and the context of their interaction.
In the example I’ve been using. She thinks I’m a potential friend, but I change her perception of me (somehow, I don’t know how though) so that she changes her opinion and thinks of me in a sexual way now. So, if I did that, I’d be controlling her frame and the frame of our interaction (I think)
Okay, I don’t think I’ve got this correct though, I think it’s more complicated than that and my description is a bit vague because I don’t get it yet.
Arrrgh. My brain hurts. I see how this is hugely important and I need to understand it.
Any help is much appreciated,
Cheers