Two girls, both into me, what do I do?

[randy__bobandy]

So the first girl, let's call her Abigail, is more age appropriate for me and hotter. The second girl, Amanda, is a few years older than me, has a mom body (because she is one), and is overall a little less hot. I have had sex with both of them in this past week. I don't want to lie to either of them about the existence of the other girl, but I don't think I'm good enough yet to pull off having them know about eachother and still being cool.

I met Amanda through Tinder, which I clearly stated in my bio "I am not looking for anything serious," so she knows the situation that I am in. So my choice would be to continue sleeping with Abigail. How do I back out of the Amanda situation without her feeling like I used her?

 

[ray_zorse]

You just tell them both you're still dating. If they ask.

You don't have to say you're having sex, or who with. It's always best to deflect such questioning because she'll figure that if you're totally discreet about all the sex you're having with other women then you'll also be discreet about the sex you're having with her, and she needs you to be discreet.

If you want to take one as your girlfriend you'll have to stop seeing the other one, but a better arrangement is friends-with-benefits, which is basically no commitment, either of you can have sex with whoever they want. Obviously you cannot be jealous when she does this. Less obviously, you cannot do boyfriend/girlfriend stuff, like handholding or other public displays of affection, or going out for dates (meals out, romantic walks, berry picking, etc -- DON'T).

There are lots of articles about this on the main site.

Ray

 

[Chase]

Dual induction massage?

Sounds like you're fine, Randy. Unless you want something exclusive with one of them. Even then, probably better to keep it casual for a little while and gradually let the girl of your choice rope you in. If you need pointers on kicking off a casual relationship, see here:

How to Start a Relationship with a New Girlfriend

This one might be helpful too:

8 Friends with Benefits Rules You Must Obey

The cool thing about having options in relationships, without having made any kind of commitment, is that you can push things as much as you want and find out what girls will put up with before they leave. e.g., telling girls you're not a one girl guy, telling girls about other girls you're seeing, asking them if they want to try threesomes, etc.

When you're relatively inexperienced it can be easy to think, "No, they'd NEVER go for that!"

But when you're starting to get into situations like you are now, and you start to play around, that's when you begin to shatter a lot of long-held beliefs about what women will and won't go for, what they will and won't do, and what they are and aren't interested in and excited about. Play around enough and you'll be pretty surprised. Girls in rotation + no fear of loss + an experimental mindset = all kinds of interesting results.

Chase

 

[randy__bobandy]

Dual induction massage?

Sounds like you're fine, Randy. Unless you want something exclusive with one of them.

If by exclusive you mean a relationship, then no. I live on a college town right now. Abigail is here over the summer and is going to be an undergrad senior at the university come September, and Amanda lives in the town permanently, and both know that I'll be gone (graduated with my masters) by the end of the summer. So even if I were to successfully set up a serious exclusive relationship, it would only end poorly because just as things got serious, they'd end just like *that*, so why bother to set myself up for some misery?

When you're relatively inexperienced it can be easy to think, "No, they'd NEVER go for that!"

It's not that I believe that they wouldn't, it's that I don't know how to get the ball rolling, so to speak, on that sort of group dynamic. How do I position myself in a place where each girl knows I'm not being exclusive and is cool with it? Another concern is that I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression of my intentions, only for me to drop the bomb weeks later that I've been sleeping with other people, which is why I really tried to drill the whole "I'll-be-gone-by-summers-end" into both of them. Amanda definitely understands, I don't know if it's really sunk into Abigail yet.