A quick google search for this term produces pages upon pages of analysis of sexual tension within the media such as long-running television shows, books, and etc.
That isn't quite what I want to talk about. Instead I wish to discuss sexual tension between a man and a woman that goes nowhere.
Now I'm nowhere as experienced at romance as I would like to be and have thus found myself in the following predicament many times, and I'm sure many people can relate.
Boy meets girl. They like each other and sparks fly. Things proceed until a certain critical point where the tension must be resolved in some fashion [read escalation window].
Now from here the interaction can either escalate or fizzle out. Let's say the boy doesn't take the initiative, what happens next?
The girl experiences frustration. An attractive female co-worker of mine was discussing a guy that's been courting her for some time with me. She confessed that all she wanted was for this guy to grow a pair and make a move. He didn't. She moved on because she had options; he did not because he was invested and continued to court her from a distance without even realizing she was long gone. What happened here is that she experienced unresolved sexual tension - which led to frustration - which led to negativity. She quickly cured that by having sex with another guy she was only sort-of into though (where-as she actually really liked the first guy) and then went on to happily live her life dating the new guy whereas the first guy was left frustrated, stressed, and tense. This negative tension pushed the girl further away (because it sparked negative/confrontational tension within her which she wanted to avoid). This led him further down the rabbit-hole of frustration.
Similar painful personal experiences also suggest that sexual tension cannot last long between real (non-fictional) people that are in close proximity to each-other. It either results in sex, fizzles out (where both parties lose interest), or results in negative tension. I lost two good female friends to it. I failed to make things happen with then and ended up in their friend-zones. Rather than backing off and allowing for some respite and a reset for our interaction as is universally advertised in these scenarios I thought that if I just start building sexual tension with them (through casual flirting, increased touch, and etc.) things will work out. Well the thing is that it worked - sort of. The sexual tension did build - the problem was that it didn't have a way out. The girls were uncomfortable with having sex with a "friend" in their close proximity and the tension had nowhere to go. As a result it turned negative and our interactions increasingly became saturated with frustration and negativity. As you can imagine things didn't end well. One girl cut me off completely and seemingly out of the blue - there was no fight or anything - she was just gone. It was a pity too because, as a friend, she was actually a very good friend to me. The other one smoothly and gracefully distanced herself by becoming busy and unavailable.
The truth is that nobody likes negativity and it seems that negative tension is a quick way to lose a girl. Thus, it would seem that the best time to escalate is when logistics are aligned; otherwise escalating at a wrong time works against you in seduction.
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Have any of you had similar experiences? What are your thoughts on this matter? Did any of you have happy endings in spite of negativity?
That isn't quite what I want to talk about. Instead I wish to discuss sexual tension between a man and a woman that goes nowhere.
Now I'm nowhere as experienced at romance as I would like to be and have thus found myself in the following predicament many times, and I'm sure many people can relate.
Boy meets girl. They like each other and sparks fly. Things proceed until a certain critical point where the tension must be resolved in some fashion [read escalation window].
Now from here the interaction can either escalate or fizzle out. Let's say the boy doesn't take the initiative, what happens next?
The girl experiences frustration. An attractive female co-worker of mine was discussing a guy that's been courting her for some time with me. She confessed that all she wanted was for this guy to grow a pair and make a move. He didn't. She moved on because she had options; he did not because he was invested and continued to court her from a distance without even realizing she was long gone. What happened here is that she experienced unresolved sexual tension - which led to frustration - which led to negativity. She quickly cured that by having sex with another guy she was only sort-of into though (where-as she actually really liked the first guy) and then went on to happily live her life dating the new guy whereas the first guy was left frustrated, stressed, and tense. This negative tension pushed the girl further away (because it sparked negative/confrontational tension within her which she wanted to avoid). This led him further down the rabbit-hole of frustration.
Similar painful personal experiences also suggest that sexual tension cannot last long between real (non-fictional) people that are in close proximity to each-other. It either results in sex, fizzles out (where both parties lose interest), or results in negative tension. I lost two good female friends to it. I failed to make things happen with then and ended up in their friend-zones. Rather than backing off and allowing for some respite and a reset for our interaction as is universally advertised in these scenarios I thought that if I just start building sexual tension with them (through casual flirting, increased touch, and etc.) things will work out. Well the thing is that it worked - sort of. The sexual tension did build - the problem was that it didn't have a way out. The girls were uncomfortable with having sex with a "friend" in their close proximity and the tension had nowhere to go. As a result it turned negative and our interactions increasingly became saturated with frustration and negativity. As you can imagine things didn't end well. One girl cut me off completely and seemingly out of the blue - there was no fight or anything - she was just gone. It was a pity too because, as a friend, she was actually a very good friend to me. The other one smoothly and gracefully distanced herself by becoming busy and unavailable.
The truth is that nobody likes negativity and it seems that negative tension is a quick way to lose a girl. Thus, it would seem that the best time to escalate is when logistics are aligned; otherwise escalating at a wrong time works against you in seduction.
_______________________________________
Have any of you had similar experiences? What are your thoughts on this matter? Did any of you have happy endings in spite of negativity?