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Using Love to Your Advantage?

West_Indian_Archie

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
463
Another post from my favorite subreddit - Female Dating Strategy

The context is that the the poster created a thread on women should date in rotation, i.e. don't keep seeing the same guy.
Today's post was the reasoning.

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/oz2e7x
Rotational dating before acquiring commitment is one thing I fully stand behind. Not only does it boost my confidence, it gives me experience in dealing with men and helps me be more objective in vetting. Plus it's literally supported by science.

Now, the brain is one crazy complex organ, so I'll try to keep it short and understandable for those who never studied it. (edit: I tried)

The prefrontal cortex—our brain’s reasoning, command, and control center—drops into low gear when we’re in love. At the same time, the amygdala, a key component of the brain’s threat-response system, shuts down. The combination of these effects is a willingness to take more risks, even ones that would normally seem reckless to us while in another state of mind. (For more, see this study.) Basically, you're unable to objectively judge a love interest and see it for what it is. This is how we fall for the bad boys- our amygdala tells us to!

This is identical to what we tell rookies to do - seeing more girls helps you to evaluate and not get one-itis.

This line though,

The combination of these effects is a willingness to take more risks, even ones that would normally seem reckless to us while in another state of mind.

What are you guys doing to inject more "spontaneity"?

WIA
 

Xandin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 7, 2021
Messages
14
Hey there West, liking this topic and the overall concept really does mirror a lot of what is mentioned here about not chasing and abundance mentality. My first thought is that is definitely true. Recently as I've been getting more involved in the dating scene and putting effort into it I caught myself doing a typical rookie move, texting this girl every couple of days instead of leaving her be until our date a week out. I knew it was silly but at some point in the day, usually the evening, when your brain is tired it was like "why not lets do this". As far as injecting more spontaneity if they are trying to hold back date compression would sound ideal here as a work around I would think.
 

West_Indian_Archie

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
463
Hey there West, liking this topic and the overall concept really does mirror a lot of what is mentioned here about not chasing and abundance mentality. My first thought is that is definitely true. Recently as I've been getting more involved in the dating scene and putting effort into it I caught myself doing a typical rookie move, texting this girl every couple of days instead of leaving her be until our date a week out. I knew it was silly but at some point in the day, usually the evening, when your brain is tired it was like "why not lets do this".

Don't beat yourself up for liking a girl, liking to talk to her, listen to her, enjoy what she has to say.
And from that flows into your desire to text.

There are no perfect solutions in this game, which is something that men understand or learn very shortly.

Only women and kids think they can have it all.

WIA
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 13, 2019
Messages
300
I’ve been reading a lot of this supported by science hub jub recently and I just can’t agree with it. I have some sort of absolutist bias, that bias triples when it comes to Reddit.

You remember that one episode in futurama from when you were a kid? The one where fry was part of the cycle being run by the one chick?

maybe that’s what she is imagining maybe that’s where we all are going towards, a deeper entrenched methodology towards how to do things, these ideas are a threat to our primordial brains and so I feel against it just through.

Or perhaps it’s because I’m a beta, an alpha and an omega. I’m sure we’ve heard these ideologies discussed to lengths before, I wonder if all that and the hierarchies have a response to the article.

Anyways what are the giant buzzwords in this article using? Drugs, high, addiction. Dollars to doughnuts the person who wrote this article is a consistent user of heroin and probably does a lot of drugs.

doesn’t discard what she is writing but makes me sceptical of it.

cheers
Must0
 

West_Indian_Archie

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
463
I’ve been reading a lot of this supported by science hub jub recently and I just can’t agree with it. I have some sort of absolutist bias, that bias triples when it comes to Reddit.

You remember that one episode in futurama from when you were a kid? The one where fry was part of the cycle being run by the one chick?

maybe that’s what she is imagining maybe that’s where we all are going towards, a deeper entrenched methodology towards how to do things, these ideas are a threat to our primordial brains and so I feel against it just through.

Or perhaps it’s because I’m a beta, an alpha and an omega. I’m sure we’ve heard these ideologies discussed to lengths before, I wonder if all that and the hierarchies have a response to the article.

Anyways what are the giant buzzwords in this article using? Drugs, high, addiction. Dollars to doughnuts the person who wrote this article is a consistent user of heroin and probably does a lot of drugs.

doesn’t discard what she is writing but makes me sceptical of it.

cheers
Must0

The key thing to learn from women talking about dating, etc - is not necessarily that what they say is true - but their areas of concern.

So from a Player POV, these chicks are telling us that they're really concerned about a) falling in love, but more importantly, b) losing control.

So one she wants to maintain control, but in her past she's lost control - easily.

With that type of knowledge, the player designs his approaches to play along those lines.

What happens when you give her the illusion of control?

For low level players, this is stuff like, "would you like go out on Friday or Saturday".

But when you start dealing with chicks past the rudimentary stuff, it will be subtle things like echoing their thoughts right back at them.

"We're doing such and such, but I don't want you to lose control"

Just me saying something like that, her guard comes down, the trust comes in more - and guess what - she's more likely to lose control with me, rather than maintain it.

When guys start with pick up, especially back in the day, the "what" they say was so important.

Changing conversational topics from the boring "what's your name, where you are you from" - gets better results.

As they got better, the focus shifted from the "what" to the "how". How you deliver a line is far more important than what you say.

So now, you can just make eye contact, and slowly, somewhat loudly, with a deeper voice say "Hello" and not say anything.

But after that - you start to look at what's going on underneath the hood - what are her internal motivations, and how does she express them.

Because the point of all of this is to cut through the noise of modern life, the culture, the politics, the religion, and get to that very essential man to woman communication.

WIA
 
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