First of all let me say: it had been some months that I'm seeing one girl on a regular basis and I've too often found myself providing excuses not to approach.
This still happens. I go out for daygame, and I walk for SOMETIMES 2 HOURS without doing one single approach! This is a big waste of time and to make up for that I've decided to allow myself only one hour of daygame. If I don't approach, so be it. I ll pay the consequences. Life is short, and the pain that would come to me from not achieving mastery is probably uncomparable.
So does seeing the same girl 3 times a week risk to lower your willing to approach? yes. Can u still approach 5 women in half an hour nevertheless? hell yes.
So yesterday , in an hour an a half ( still too much time but we'll fix this) I approached 3 women.
1 girl:
me: hey wait!
her: yeah?
me: I just have to tell u.. you've got the most amazing set of eyes I've seen all day!
her: oh thank you.. I have to go though!
me: wait, I came here , told u u have super cool eyes and u say you have to go?! cmon. You're from (x city) right?
her: yes..
me : yeah i can hear that.. ( said in her town accent)
her: thanks but I have to go , my boyfriend is there waiting for me
me: oh right cause it's valentine's day! gosh..
her: bye!
me : bye!
----> to be frank with you, not a lot i could have done to change this. My problem is I don't approach enough women, but I've found that those I manage to approach , I'm definetly not bad at. So , while i can improve my game, I should be focusing on approaching more women in less time. Really challenge myself to stop 5 women in half an hour, and try to bed them on the spot! My game is for sure enough to to be able to improve by itself once I increase the number of approaches. But why do I still have that anxiety? I have no clue!
gilr 2:
me: hey ! do u think I look pathetic with this thing in my hand?
her: no cmon, it's valentine's day!
me: yeah i don't know.. i feel like it may be too much..
her : ....
me: where u from?
her: belgium..
me: mmm.. that sounds cool, studying fashion?
her: no i'm studying design actually at ( name of school )
me : oh that's cool. why studying design in this town?
her: well, it's inspiring.. the architecture, the art ecc
me: yeah, but maybe ( other city name) would have been better for that skill no?
her:yeah but i don't like that city
me:yeah.. this city is full of tourists though, u have to love this.
her : yeah it is ( she wasn't really into the convo so i decided to speak a bit more and see if she'd open up)
me: you know, that's why it's cool though. it means u always have new people and this makes it a bit less judgmental.. it's not easy to be a woman in this world..
her : yeah, especially in europe..
me: yeah i mean, a woman is constantly judged for her sexuality. she's judged everytime she expresses herself. and that's too bed!
her: can I ask you something.. what do you want?
me: what do u mean?
her: because a lot of guys have stopped me on the street to ask me on a date or to get a number ecc.. they always have ulterior motives..
me: well you have very cool eyes... ( not the best thing here. i should have gone with: well they're guys..what should they want from you, playing barbie and bring you flowers? - framing those who don't move fast as lame - will do it next time)
her: oh and what is the reason u stopped me then? ( starting to walk further from me)
me: well, giving you great times ( should have said - well what do u do when u want to meet new people? get drunk and hit the club? use tinder?! painting tinder and clubs as a solution for those who don't have the guts to approach with daylight)
her: oh i already have them on my own... bye!!
Here, the biggest problem was i opened with an indirect, wich in this case was not the best thing.. that being said, had i implemented the answers i just wrote here and a more effective sex talk , it would have more likely been a different story.
After this , i walked for another half an hour, and saw two cute girls walking but didn't have the guts to approach them.. i wasted time, and that time i'll never get back. Still, why the fuck don't I do that?!
Figured what the hell, I'm not gonna put myself through the humiliation of walking 1 hour with the streets full of chicks and not approaching them. TIme is limited, i must learn it. The daily approach window is closed, i go home.
Went home, but after one hour i had to go back there and get my revenge on the streets!
after 5 mins walk,
girl 3 :
me: hey.. wait wait wait!!
her: yes?
me: i just have to tell u this... u have .. the most.. amazing set of eyes i ve seen all day..
her: thx!
me: they're really cool.. i m nolimits
her: (name)
me: you speak with a ( city name) accent
her: yeah i'm from there!
me: o you're from (name of the city said in a funny way, imitating the accent and teasing her!)
her: yeah..
me: and what do you do here?
her: i came to just go away from mycity from morning to evening...i ve been walking around all day long! i just hate vlentine's day! ( here's the hook! she says'' i'm single, and i don't wanna walk around without a purpose anymore)
me: yeah... It would have been better if it was a halloween party where everybody had a lot of fun
her : yeah!
me: ( should have said '' we can still pretend we re going to a halloween party now and we're already dressed though.. I love your xeena dress!!)
but i said: you're not 15 years old right?
her: no, i'm 20..
me: oh that's cool! so we can talk!
her: because how old are u, 40?! ( bantering)
me: well 39 actually...
her : oh i see..
me: u gonna walk with me in that direction?
her: yeah sure... I mean i was just casually walking around so it's fine
me: so what do you do in your life?
her: well i didn't start university this year because i've had the chance to work outside of my city.. now i m done with that job and back into my old town but will wait six months before starting university!
me: oh that sounds cool..
her: and what do you do?
me: nothing basically
her: oh really ? ahah THAT sounds cool!
me: yeah.. no , i'm a songwriter! and a singer.. hopefully better than this one ( i pointed to a street singer who was close to us and wasn't exactly frank sinatra)
her: really? what instruments do u play?
me: bit of piano, but i don't think it's necessary ... i do all with my voice..
her: what kind of music do u play? ( should have made her a question and put the conversation right back at her after my answer on the instrument, but didn't - anyway, it's also good to let her know something more about you when you're meeting her in the streets so it didn't hurt intrigue too much. Just, in a perfect world, this thing I could have said them later. She was hooked, no need to tell her more about myself to make her open up , in that very moment.)
me: R&B...
her: like??
me: like Jtimberlake, Craig David ...
her: really? justin timberlake?
me: is that strange? then john mayer is another big influence
her: mmm wow! i was listening to it the moment we met!
me: oh what song where u listening to?
her: in your atmosphere
me: mmm... album?
her: no this is just performed live, no albums..
me: oh cool.. what other tunes d u like from him? pay attention to how u answer! ( said playfully, meaning - he's my fav singer so u better not be obvious)
her: mmm. too obvious if i say gravity?
me: yeah definetly.
her: then.. i love .. daughters.. i love slow dancing in a burning
me: (interrupting her) yeah.. that one's hands down objectively the best one
her: yeah it's amazing.
me: so how long are u staying here?
her: i actually leave in 2 hours!
me: why? u should be staying at least another day ( had to meet another chick that night
her: well... i must go back to my city actually..
me: but why, u can stay here and we can meet tomorrow no?
her: well.. ok i tell you this. Just because you're a stranger and we know anything about each others.
me: go for it
her: i have a illness.. an i have to go to the hospital in 4 days..
me: well.. ( emotionally unfazed) are u gonna be ok or what? with STRONG eye contact.
her: well they said so..
me: u will.. tell you what, not only u will ,but after 2 weeks , when u ll be done and ok , u ll come back here and we'll celebrate..
her: sounds cool! ahaah ( of course i know well that the likelyhood she's gon come is 1% , but still)
me: and plus, let's go celebrate in advance now! i'll take u to my favorite bar and get u a drink!
her: ok i'm game!
me: (anyway, let me just say that even though right now you may feel like you're unlucky and you wish you didn't have this illness, this is an opportunity for u to get stronger... it really is ( proceeded with a brief , uplifting , inspiring talk!)
walk to the closest bar i could think of... gosh, if only i had more time.. she had 2 hours, but me.. I had only one before going to have dinner with this chick i m seeing..
me: u know, it's a shame, u have to go.. and i have to go for a dinner tonight , so i don't have more than 30 mins to stay here!
she: it's okay..
me: yeah but u know.. life is very short.. and even though we think we may meet again, if we don't capitalize on this opportunity soon, this is likely not gonna happen.. anyway.. ( forgot to cement the emotion saying - i'm glad we're having this great connection)
u know what i love about this bar?
her: what?
me: the people.. I mean.. everyone does not give a fuck about what others think.. the vibe is so liberated... u know, we're drinking alchool now and that made me think of how certain kind of people only express themselves when drunk!
her : true...
me:and especially for women... i mean.. society.. it's so hard to be a woman when you're constantly judged for your sexuality..
her: yeah but that depends on the woman..
me: no.. every woman is judged.. i mean, why in the world if i fuck 4 women a month i m cool and if you fuck 4 men a month you're a bitch? i don't get that! we're both cool!
her: yes that's true...
me: ( changed topic.. instead of pressing with the sex talk.. for fun i should have persisted , with smtg like: nobody should be judged for their sexuality! and take it from there) so , if u could have any skill in the world, which one would u pick up?
her: mmm.. playing the guitar maybe...
me: and why don't u do that?
her: i do that.. is just, not everyone can be john mayer..
me: does it matter?
her: mmm no.. you are right..
me: you know ... there's something about you... you have that look..like nothing can really impress you anymore.. you're both bored and excited at the same time, and for sure you don't look like you're 20...
her: you speak like you're 40..
me: well what i say is true though.. it's like you've already lived for long.. and that vibe is incredibly sexy..
her: thank you... ( incredibly effective complimenting)
me: bla bla bla. anyway i have to go
( she paid for the drinks)
i walk her back to the city center..
and tell her bye bye . she doesn't kiss me. I wanted , but saw she would have been resistant. ( maybe i should have tried to force it, but honestly , what for? i knew i couldnt fuck her!)
after 1 hour and a half i send her a text , to which she responds 2 hours later...
today ( the day after I send her a text, warm and very cool, and she still hasn't answered...
now: why didn't she kiss me and why didn't she answer event hough we had a great connection?
My guess is that she imagined i had a girlfriend because i said '' hey i have to go to a dinner tonight...'' but still, why didn't she ask if i did?! that's strange.. why the fuck doesn't she answer?
should have i pushed more for the kiss?
what i must do now is , meet other women. Lots of them. and call her tomorrow and after a week if she doesn't answer.
Other people's comments are always appreciated!
'' a small act is woth a million thoughts''
NOlimits
This still happens. I go out for daygame, and I walk for SOMETIMES 2 HOURS without doing one single approach! This is a big waste of time and to make up for that I've decided to allow myself only one hour of daygame. If I don't approach, so be it. I ll pay the consequences. Life is short, and the pain that would come to me from not achieving mastery is probably uncomparable.
So does seeing the same girl 3 times a week risk to lower your willing to approach? yes. Can u still approach 5 women in half an hour nevertheless? hell yes.
So yesterday , in an hour an a half ( still too much time but we'll fix this) I approached 3 women.
1 girl:
me: hey wait!
her: yeah?
me: I just have to tell u.. you've got the most amazing set of eyes I've seen all day!
her: oh thank you.. I have to go though!
me: wait, I came here , told u u have super cool eyes and u say you have to go?! cmon. You're from (x city) right?
her: yes..
me : yeah i can hear that.. ( said in her town accent)
her: thanks but I have to go , my boyfriend is there waiting for me
me: oh right cause it's valentine's day! gosh..
her: bye!
me : bye!
----> to be frank with you, not a lot i could have done to change this. My problem is I don't approach enough women, but I've found that those I manage to approach , I'm definetly not bad at. So , while i can improve my game, I should be focusing on approaching more women in less time. Really challenge myself to stop 5 women in half an hour, and try to bed them on the spot! My game is for sure enough to to be able to improve by itself once I increase the number of approaches. But why do I still have that anxiety? I have no clue!
gilr 2:
me: hey ! do u think I look pathetic with this thing in my hand?
her: no cmon, it's valentine's day!
me: yeah i don't know.. i feel like it may be too much..
her : ....
me: where u from?
her: belgium..
me: mmm.. that sounds cool, studying fashion?
her: no i'm studying design actually at ( name of school )
me : oh that's cool. why studying design in this town?
her: well, it's inspiring.. the architecture, the art ecc
me: yeah, but maybe ( other city name) would have been better for that skill no?
her:yeah but i don't like that city
me:yeah.. this city is full of tourists though, u have to love this.
her : yeah it is ( she wasn't really into the convo so i decided to speak a bit more and see if she'd open up)
me: you know, that's why it's cool though. it means u always have new people and this makes it a bit less judgmental.. it's not easy to be a woman in this world..
her : yeah, especially in europe..
me: yeah i mean, a woman is constantly judged for her sexuality. she's judged everytime she expresses herself. and that's too bed!
her: can I ask you something.. what do you want?
me: what do u mean?
her: because a lot of guys have stopped me on the street to ask me on a date or to get a number ecc.. they always have ulterior motives..
me: well you have very cool eyes... ( not the best thing here. i should have gone with: well they're guys..what should they want from you, playing barbie and bring you flowers? - framing those who don't move fast as lame - will do it next time)
her: oh and what is the reason u stopped me then? ( starting to walk further from me)
me: well, giving you great times ( should have said - well what do u do when u want to meet new people? get drunk and hit the club? use tinder?! painting tinder and clubs as a solution for those who don't have the guts to approach with daylight)
her: oh i already have them on my own... bye!!
Here, the biggest problem was i opened with an indirect, wich in this case was not the best thing.. that being said, had i implemented the answers i just wrote here and a more effective sex talk , it would have more likely been a different story.
After this , i walked for another half an hour, and saw two cute girls walking but didn't have the guts to approach them.. i wasted time, and that time i'll never get back. Still, why the fuck don't I do that?!
Figured what the hell, I'm not gonna put myself through the humiliation of walking 1 hour with the streets full of chicks and not approaching them. TIme is limited, i must learn it. The daily approach window is closed, i go home.
Went home, but after one hour i had to go back there and get my revenge on the streets!
after 5 mins walk,
girl 3 :
me: hey.. wait wait wait!!
her: yes?
me: i just have to tell u this... u have .. the most.. amazing set of eyes i ve seen all day..
her: thx!
me: they're really cool.. i m nolimits
her: (name)
me: you speak with a ( city name) accent
her: yeah i'm from there!
me: o you're from (name of the city said in a funny way, imitating the accent and teasing her!)
her: yeah..
me: and what do you do here?
her: i came to just go away from mycity from morning to evening...i ve been walking around all day long! i just hate vlentine's day! ( here's the hook! she says'' i'm single, and i don't wanna walk around without a purpose anymore)
me: yeah... It would have been better if it was a halloween party where everybody had a lot of fun
her : yeah!
me: ( should have said '' we can still pretend we re going to a halloween party now and we're already dressed though.. I love your xeena dress!!)
but i said: you're not 15 years old right?
her: no, i'm 20..
me: oh that's cool! so we can talk!
her: because how old are u, 40?! ( bantering)
me: well 39 actually...
her : oh i see..
me: u gonna walk with me in that direction?
her: yeah sure... I mean i was just casually walking around so it's fine
me: so what do you do in your life?
her: well i didn't start university this year because i've had the chance to work outside of my city.. now i m done with that job and back into my old town but will wait six months before starting university!
me: oh that sounds cool..
her: and what do you do?
me: nothing basically
her: oh really ? ahah THAT sounds cool!
me: yeah.. no , i'm a songwriter! and a singer.. hopefully better than this one ( i pointed to a street singer who was close to us and wasn't exactly frank sinatra)
her: really? what instruments do u play?
me: bit of piano, but i don't think it's necessary ... i do all with my voice..
her: what kind of music do u play? ( should have made her a question and put the conversation right back at her after my answer on the instrument, but didn't - anyway, it's also good to let her know something more about you when you're meeting her in the streets so it didn't hurt intrigue too much. Just, in a perfect world, this thing I could have said them later. She was hooked, no need to tell her more about myself to make her open up , in that very moment.)
me: R&B...
her: like??
me: like Jtimberlake, Craig David ...
her: really? justin timberlake?
me: is that strange? then john mayer is another big influence
her: mmm wow! i was listening to it the moment we met!
me: oh what song where u listening to?
her: in your atmosphere
me: mmm... album?
her: no this is just performed live, no albums..
me: oh cool.. what other tunes d u like from him? pay attention to how u answer! ( said playfully, meaning - he's my fav singer so u better not be obvious)
her: mmm. too obvious if i say gravity?
me: yeah definetly.
her: then.. i love .. daughters.. i love slow dancing in a burning
me: (interrupting her) yeah.. that one's hands down objectively the best one
her: yeah it's amazing.
me: so how long are u staying here?
her: i actually leave in 2 hours!
me: why? u should be staying at least another day ( had to meet another chick that night
her: well... i must go back to my city actually..
me: but why, u can stay here and we can meet tomorrow no?
her: well.. ok i tell you this. Just because you're a stranger and we know anything about each others.
me: go for it
her: i have a illness.. an i have to go to the hospital in 4 days..
me: well.. ( emotionally unfazed) are u gonna be ok or what? with STRONG eye contact.
her: well they said so..
me: u will.. tell you what, not only u will ,but after 2 weeks , when u ll be done and ok , u ll come back here and we'll celebrate..
her: sounds cool! ahaah ( of course i know well that the likelyhood she's gon come is 1% , but still)
me: and plus, let's go celebrate in advance now! i'll take u to my favorite bar and get u a drink!
her: ok i'm game!
me: (anyway, let me just say that even though right now you may feel like you're unlucky and you wish you didn't have this illness, this is an opportunity for u to get stronger... it really is ( proceeded with a brief , uplifting , inspiring talk!)
walk to the closest bar i could think of... gosh, if only i had more time.. she had 2 hours, but me.. I had only one before going to have dinner with this chick i m seeing..
me: u know, it's a shame, u have to go.. and i have to go for a dinner tonight , so i don't have more than 30 mins to stay here!
she: it's okay..
me: yeah but u know.. life is very short.. and even though we think we may meet again, if we don't capitalize on this opportunity soon, this is likely not gonna happen.. anyway.. ( forgot to cement the emotion saying - i'm glad we're having this great connection)
u know what i love about this bar?
her: what?
me: the people.. I mean.. everyone does not give a fuck about what others think.. the vibe is so liberated... u know, we're drinking alchool now and that made me think of how certain kind of people only express themselves when drunk!
her : true...
me:and especially for women... i mean.. society.. it's so hard to be a woman when you're constantly judged for your sexuality..
her: yeah but that depends on the woman..
me: no.. every woman is judged.. i mean, why in the world if i fuck 4 women a month i m cool and if you fuck 4 men a month you're a bitch? i don't get that! we're both cool!
her: yes that's true...
me: ( changed topic.. instead of pressing with the sex talk.. for fun i should have persisted , with smtg like: nobody should be judged for their sexuality! and take it from there) so , if u could have any skill in the world, which one would u pick up?
her: mmm.. playing the guitar maybe...
me: and why don't u do that?
her: i do that.. is just, not everyone can be john mayer..
me: does it matter?
her: mmm no.. you are right..
me: you know ... there's something about you... you have that look..like nothing can really impress you anymore.. you're both bored and excited at the same time, and for sure you don't look like you're 20...
her: you speak like you're 40..
me: well what i say is true though.. it's like you've already lived for long.. and that vibe is incredibly sexy..
her: thank you... ( incredibly effective complimenting)
me: bla bla bla. anyway i have to go
( she paid for the drinks)
i walk her back to the city center..
and tell her bye bye . she doesn't kiss me. I wanted , but saw she would have been resistant. ( maybe i should have tried to force it, but honestly , what for? i knew i couldnt fuck her!)
after 1 hour and a half i send her a text , to which she responds 2 hours later...
today ( the day after I send her a text, warm and very cool, and she still hasn't answered...
now: why didn't she kiss me and why didn't she answer event hough we had a great connection?
My guess is that she imagined i had a girlfriend because i said '' hey i have to go to a dinner tonight...'' but still, why didn't she ask if i did?! that's strange.. why the fuck doesn't she answer?
should have i pushed more for the kiss?
what i must do now is , meet other women. Lots of them. and call her tomorrow and after a week if she doesn't answer.
Other people's comments are always appreciated!
'' a small act is woth a million thoughts''
NOlimits
