Very beautiful girl giving me signals after a BIHC

[Kaida]

Met this very beautiful but kinda quiet girl in school in May. She obviously likes me at least slightly.

I have tried to isolate her after school multiple times, but either due to nervousness, wanting to slow game me, or lack of interest she evaded with a lame excuse like “I couldn’t find you” when I told her exactly where to find me.

I texted back “All good ” and then later sent her a text basically saying that i find her interesting, but that I’ve tried to make it work already quite a but and now its her turn to make a move. I told her to hit me up when she wants us to set something up.

She then tried to bargain by LJBF-ing me. I responded by nicely saying I wasn’t interested in being just friends (this was all over instagram).

Then, the next day I went to a pretty large party and I posted a shit ton of preselection. I posted myself pulling random girls into me, pulling their hair, and basically having fun and whatnot. I wasn’t really worried about her at all with these other cute girls in front of me.

Seeing this, this girl went in her settings and
made her story viewable to me (she hid it from me for some reason - she doesnt know I noticed) and posted videos of her looking cute. I technically didnt view them so she didnt get any validation from me.

After that, then she liked a story I posted that showed me looking good with a girl next to me giving me lusty doe eyes.

(Her liking my story is important because, on instagram, I can post 20+ stories over the course of a month with 110+ views each and not a single person will like my story.
You really only like stories if you want to get someones attention.)

And she gave me some hard looks in the hallway - which I ignored. I think she also tried to jealousy plot me with a fat guy in class but failed because I didnt look at her.


So my question is: How to proceed? Since shes giving me signals, should I break the bihc (and how??) or do I string it out until she does a concrete move like texting me herself?

Also, if she does, I think she’ll probably do it in a “plausible deniability” way like replying to my story with a comment.
If that ^ happens, how do I proceed sexually while still framing her as the one who broke the bihc?

Edit: Clarity

 

[Zoro]

And she gave me some hard looks in the hallway - which I ignored. I think she also tried to jealousy plot me with a fat guy in class but failed because I didnt look at her.

I think in person you should still be warm and flirty. BIHC isn't really a rejection, it's a "hey we're trying to meet up but I can tell it's not a good time for you, so you tell me when you're ready to actually do it, and I'll be doing my own thing (won't be giving her anymore texting attention until then).

In person, you have a opportunities to seduce. Over text you're lacking that same potency of inperson interactions.

If you make it hard for her to come up to you and talk to you (ignoring her rather than being open but giving her less attention) then she might not have the social confidence to do it on her own. Sounds like she might be a little shy. I think warm and leading are your key tactics here

Describe more how you are setting up your "dates". Give me some details on that, maybe it's the way you're inviting her to meet up.

 

[Kaida]

I think in person you should still be warm and flirty. BIHC isn't really a rejection, it's a "hey we're trying to meet up but I can tell it's not a good time for you, so you tell me when you're ready to actually do it, and I'll be doing my own thing (won't be giving her anymore texting attention until then).

In person, you have a opportunities to seduce. Over text you're lacking that same potency of inperson interactions.

If you make it hard for her to come up to you and talk to you (ignoring her rather than being open but giving her less attention) then she might not have the social confidence to do it on her own. Sounds like she might be a little shy. I think warm and leading are your key tactics here

Im thinking my problem was lack of scarcity, and her thinking she can just hold me in her back pocket and pull me out whenever she wants (hence the ljbf). Some of my actions may have implied lack of scarcity, so I wanted to squash that frame. Yes, she’s (somewhat) shy but all these still apply.

Ive already gone a few days in school w/o talking to her - I likely wet her appetite with the signals shes throwing (or threw. they’re not as strong anymore).

But me ignoring her also may have set the frame of “we’re not talking anymore until you make a move”. How do I transition to being warm and flirty after that? And I should still be giving her less attention overall right

Describe more how you are setting up your "dates". Give me some details on that, maybe it's the way you're inviting her to meet up.

This is def partially the problem when I’m thinking about it more lol.

It’s not really a date I try and set up, I texted her to meet me after school by the staircase so we could talk. Discreet because people would be leaving, but not so discreet because theres a medium chance someone could see us. Definitely nowhere close to a “seduction location”.

She was pretty invested and double texting me about what we were gonna talk about, I just said “us” and continued to lead. She then tried to flake saying her head and stomach hurt, and that we should just video call later that night.

I wanted an isolated in-person interaction with her, so I got past that objection by showing I cared and lowering pressure a bit before leading again.

When the plan became concrete she thenflaked saying she couldn’t find me and her phone died lol. Bull. After that I sent a pretty warm but firm BIHC text and cut off my attention 100%.

She doesn’t have a car so its hard to meet anywhere other than school, and when I do see her in class our seats are kind of far so we can only naturally talk during class conversations where I engage her a little bit.

I can also walk her to her next class, but even though its not going out of my way at all it lowkey sets a chasing frame. And we only have 3 minutes of distracted talking before we reach her class because of the crowd of people in the way and stuff.

How to proceed?

 

[DarkKnight]

I think she also tried to jealousy plot me with a fat guy in class but failed because I didnt look at her.

Ahahah

And she gave me some hard looks in the hallway - which I ignored

Walk up to her, playfully take her up by the arm. If your schedules allow make it an instant date, if not escalate the vibe to non friendzone and her push her to meet up with you

If she does not you have yout answer. With push I mean in a sexy whirlwind romance way, not in a needy way.

Otherwise because of the flaking I would not spend too much thought on this, I mean ofcourse she wants your attentiom but she needs to put up. Due to the scarce times of seeing her I would be decisive and she should FEEL it is decisive. The ambiguity works in her favour, not yours.

 

[Fuck This]

There are some good principles here:

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[DarkKnight]

@Fuck This

He has not yet been with her, so relationship dynamics are not relevant

She is already giving him signs so he should get compliance, due to scarce time he desribes I would rather choose the bold route intead of slow route otherwise he will keep pining on her and missing other opportunities.

Ignoring for 3 or 4 months is still slowgame. Meanwhile everhthing can happen, might as well next her immediately (this is sarcasm OP just to illustrate my point)

 

[Kaida]

Otherwise because of the flaking I would not spend too much thought on this, I mean ofcourse she wants your attentiom but she needs to put up. Due to the scarce times of seeing her I would be decisive and she should FEEL it is decisive. The ambiguity works in her favour, not yours

Exactly my thoughts. I feel the bihc text made it more decisive and now she’s trying to get my attention and that works in my favor.
Even though she’s beautiful I really cant stand the feeling of being in someones back pocket.

Walk up to her, playfully take her up by the arm. If your schedules allow make it an instant date, if not escalate the vibe to non friendzone and her push her to meet up with you

Even after I sent the bihc? Wouldnt that just look like I’m going back on my word

 

[Fuck This]

He has not yet been with her, so relationship dynamics are not relevant

I said principles a way of thinking.... not straight up strategy...

 

[DarkKnight]

Even after I sent the bihc? Wouldnt that just look like I’m going back on my word

Yeah fair point. I guess I am looking at this more from the eyes of a guy who doesnt want to get stuck at one certain girl. So I like decisiveness in order to get rid of my own doubt so I can focus on others.

If you are going to stick to your guns with the BIHC (Which is also fair), do yourself a favor and dont worry about her until she engages you.

 

[Zoro]

Even after I sent the bihc? Wouldnt that just look like I’m going back on my word

I think you used the BIHC prematurely. But even so, the BIHC is about her telling you when she is ready to meet up.

It's not really "I wont even talk to you until you make a move". I think in some instances it can be that, but if she's giving you signals of interest, I would try and make something happen, rather than waiting for a shy girl to make the move.

I think that's my main concern here. She's a shy young girl, who seems interested. You could wait it out until she makes that move (unlikely IMO), or you could make a move, this time with better a better date set up & logistics.

This is def partially the problem when I’m thinking about it more lol.

It’s not really a date I try and set up, I texted her to meet me after school by the staircase so we could talk. Discreet because people would be leaving, but not so discreet because theres a medium chance someone could see us. Definitely nowhere close to a “seduction location”.

She was pretty invested and double texting me about what we were gonna talk about, I just said “us” and continued to lead. She then tried to flake saying her head and stomach hurt, and that we should just video call later that night.

I wanted an isolated in-person interaction with her, so I got past that objection by showing I cared and lowering pressure a bit before leading again.

When the plan became concrete she thenflaked saying she couldn’t find me and her phone died lol. Bull. After that I sent a pretty warm but firm BIHC text and cut off my attention 100%.

She doesn’t have a car so its hard to meet anywhere other than school, and when I do see her in class our seats are kind of far so we can only naturally talk during class conversations where I engage her a little bit.

I can also walk her to her next class, but even though its not going out of my way at all it lowkey sets a chasing frame. And we only have 3 minutes of distracted talking before we reach her class because of the crowd of people in the way and stuff.

You were leading her, but for her to follow your lead that blindly ("Just meet me at the stairwell for no reason") she needs to trust or be very compliant with you already.

In general, "seed" your meet ups. Meaning, find some reason to meet up. Ideally it's some common interest you have based on the conversations you've been having (deep diving comes in handy here).

In high school, I was home alone often so I had it pretty easy inviting girls over or sneaking them inside while my parents slept. You have to get creative when you have shitty logistics. When I had a car, sometimes we would hang out in my car. One of my favorite "dates" was inviting her over for some good music (mood lighting, good speakers, cozy blankets).

On inviting girls to your house: As a teen I never really realized guys and girls went on dates. I just invited girls over to my house and thought nothing of it. And a lot came over. Too bad I had no game, because I had lots of cute girls alone with me at my house... I was so clueless!

My point is, I realized if you don't make a big deal out of it, you can often invite a girl straight to your house. It's important to have a good reason to come over. I might invite her for a walk near my house or tell her about something she would interested in that I'd like to show her (astrology books, my cats, mario kart, etc.)

 

[Kaida]

If you are going to stick to your guns with the BIHC (Which is also fair), do yourself a favor and dont worry about her until she engages you.

I could try slowly warm the in-person vibe back up without it seeming like I’m breaking the bihc. I just cant text her or give her too much attention irl because that’s effectively the same as breaking the bihc

 

[Zoro]

I could try slowly warm the in-person vibe back up without it seeming like I’m breaking the bihc. I just cant text her or give her too much attention irl because that’s effectively the same as breaking the bihc

Agreed, but you have to dangle the carrot. Leave her wanting more. Maybe a smile from across the hall while you're having fun, and keep convo warm but short and seeding the date!. Keep using social proof. You did a lot good, just don't leave things on the table to get cold.

School is a very social place. If she's very beautiful like you said, she's got TONS of orbiters with her snapchat/insta/whatever kids use these days.

You don't want to be another chump on her phone. Be a real masculine hot blooded presence. Maybe read the article on how to persist in an attractive way.

By the way, I mentioned having lots of girls coming to my house despite having no game. It wasn't good game that got them interested in me, it was largely social proof. I was popular because I got lucky and befriended kids and social circles in 4th, 5th, and 6th grade who eventually became the popular kids in middle and high school.

While pretty much all my close friends were good with girls (I was the odd man out!), one of my friends was a level above the rest. He'd sleep with ALL the girls in our social circle. He was a "badboy" with tattoos at 16 and a musician, would do things like slap girls asses in the hallway and throw some really wild parties.

I think just because I was one of his closest friends, that girls assumed that I was also a bad boy. One girlfriend even told me so, literally saying "I thought you were a badboy because you were friends with Joe" meaning once she got to know me, she found out I was a little shy and prude haha

My point is, social proof helped me get a lot of opportunities. And that meant I could mess up with girls and still have some options. You don't want this beautiful girl to be your only option, because then you play it too safe. There is no guarentee, you can only shoot your best shot and move on. Which is very hard to do when she's the cutest girl on your radar.

 

[Kaida]

Agreed, but you have to dangle the carrot. Leave her wanting more. Maybe a smile from across the hall while you're having fun, and keep convo warm but short and seeding the date!. Keep using social proof. You did a lot good, just don't leave things on the table to get cold.

School is a very social place. If she's very beautiful like you said, she's got TONS of orbiters with her snapchat/insta/whatever kids use these days.

You don't want to be another chump on her phone. Be a real masculine hot blooded presence. Maybe read the article on how to persist in an attractive way.

By the way, I mentioned having lots of girls coming to my house despite having no game. It wasn't good game that got them interested in me, it was largely social proof. I was popular because I got lucky and befriended kids and social circles in 4th, 5th, and 6th grade who eventually became the popular kids in middle and high school.

While pretty much all my close friends were good with girls (I was the odd man out!), one of my friends was a level above the rest. He'd sleep with ALL the girls in our social circle. He was a "badboy" with tattoos at 16 and a musician, would do things like slap girls asses in the hallway and throw some really wild parties.

I think just because I was one of his closest friends, that girls assumed that I was also a bad boy. One girlfriend even told me so, literally saying "I thought you were a badboy because you were friends with Joe" meaning once she got to know me, she found out I was a little shy and prude haha

My point is, social proof helped me get a lot of opportunities. And that meant I could mess up with girls and still have some options. You don't want this beautiful girl to be your only option, because then you play it too safe. There is no guarentee, you can only shoot your best shot and move on. Which is very hard to do when she's the cutest girl on your radar.

I’m decently social proofed by a lot of the girls in the class we share - not necessarily to the extent you had though but decent enough. Theres this girl who sits right next to me who I flirt hard with every class. All the other girls in the class mess with me as well.

I’ve also DHV’ed very well in that class to the point where even the teacher calls me a player, and the girls ask me questions like how many girls hit on me when I go out and whatnot.

The target has obviously been effected by this. I can tell she eavesdrops on our conversations because even when I say something slightly out of pocket she turns her head and makes a “what?” face to me, which i keep ignoring lol.

After a while of her sneaking looks at me, she put up her backpack on her desk in between her face and mine. Its uncomfortable for her too because the desks are small. I did the exact same thing in middle school when there was a girl in my class that would never look at me but I couldnt stop sneaking looks at her. I think she did it to force herself to stop looking at me and ignore the obvious flirting i do with the girl right next to me lol.

There is no guarentee, you can only shoot your best shot and move on.

Yeah, I feel a sense of relief when she ljbf’ed me because I could move on. But now shes dragging it on w these signals and its kind of annoying cuz now i cant proceed in a simple manner