Very short-term practical advice.

[Prehistoric]

Hey guys,

I am a recent follower of Girl Chase articles, although I don't use the forum very often.

I would like to hear your opinion about a very recent situation (today actually) where everything seemed go quite smoothly and where there haven't been apparently any f**ks up yet. So this post is meant to be prevent any major f**k up! I met this girl today at a language exchange meeting. I found her not only physically attractive but also with a good personality and good to chat with. I teased her a little and also established some playful physical contact.

I got her number (together with that of other people at the language meeting) and I told them (5-6 people) I wanted to organize a party with dinner at my place with a friend of mine who's a chef. After that I discovered she doesn't live far from where I live and I told her only one morning we can have breakfast together (it came out naturally, I never thought to ask a girl out for breakfast before) to which she responded quite warmly (although she has a very warm way of interacting with everybody).

Then we took the bus together because we were going in the same direction. I kept on doing some teasing and some playful contact, I did a lot of eye contact but I DIDN'T TRY TO KISS HER on the bus. We were alone in the bus for 5-10 minutes and when I had to get off, because she lives close to a building where a princess used to live, I told her to send my greetings to the princess because last time I got out with her I wasn't very nice - to which she laughed out loud just before I got out the bus.

My questions are

1) Do you think it was ok not to try to kiss her?
2) Should I go on and ask her for breakfast this week? (I was thinking about messaging her on thursday afternoon for breakfast on friday). What timing would you use?
3) Breakfast would be just 15-20 minutes because she goes to work immediately after, so what you suggest I do when I meet her again?
4) Any other suggestions are welcome.

Thanks!

 

[Prehistoric]

Hey man,

I say you skip the whole breakfast thing because I don't see it as being very useful since she's going to work right after, and the morning may not set the right vibe of being sexual. I suggest you take her out for a coffee or snack in the evening, and get her to come back to your place. Or an even better plan (if she's already comfortable enough) would be to just get her to your house first. To set this up, you can tell her to come and help you prepare dinner for the both of you. Whatever you do just make sure to conform to the rule of moving fast. And also, I think it's fine you didn't kiss her in the bus, because the intrigue and sexual tension (assuming you did everything right) is still alive until the next time you actually have a date and can move things forward when you hit an escalation window.

Goodluck man!

Stay alpha,

-Ned

Thanks for the advice man.

So, because I already told her I'd write her for breakfast, how do you think this sms world work:

"Hey there, I am so lazy and wake up always after 9! What about a coffee after work tomorrow"?

I thought the lazy line communicates both humor and absence of neediness, did I get that right?

 

[Nova]

So, because I already told her I'd write her for breakfast, how do you think this sms world work:

"Hey there, I am so lazy and wake up always after 9! What about a coffee after work tomorrow"?

I thought the lazy line communicates both humor and absence of neediness, did I get that right?

Telling her your lazy communicates your lazy... and available. There are better ways of killing the boyfriend tag. And before you ask a girl out some place make sure you get her to tell you when she's free in the week etc, and then slot the date in somewhere, instead of just giving her a time and place, make's things easier for you.

---

1) Do you think it was ok not to try to kiss her?
2) Should I go on and ask her for breakfast this week? (I was thinking about messaging her on thursday afternoon for breakfast on friday). What timing would you use?
3) Breakfast would be just 15-20 minutes because she goes to work immediately after, so what you suggest I do when I meet her again?

1) Yeh, in fact not kissing her was the right call. There is no point in kissing a girl if your not going to follow up with something a little more exciting after, it's pointless.
2) Like the other dude said, breakfast isn't the best date. It's not something I ever do, it's a bit platonic and make's it harder for you to create the right vibes - there are better options for a first date.
3) During the first date? Talk to her, set the right frames, find out when she's free next. A lot of setting up the next date depends on this. I might invite her over to mine later on if she's free providing everything went well during breakfast, or I might tell her i'll drop a text sometime in the week to set something else up. It depends.

 

[Prehistoric]

2) Like the other dude said, breakfast isn't the best date. It's not something I ever do, it's a bit platonic and make's it harder for you to create the right vibes - there are better options for a first date.
3) During the first date? Talk to her, set the right frames, find out when she's free next. A lot of setting up the next date depends on this. I might invite her over to mine later on if she's free providing everything went well during breakfast, or I might tell her i'll drop a text sometime in the week to set something else up. It depends.

I guess I should really skip the whole breakfast thing. It might be better in the future if we establish a sexual contact before.

Now I am thinking of writing her tomorrow (thursday) around 11 (it would have been 3 days since we first met) and ask her to go for a beer nearby in the evening (as I said we don't live that far from each other).

Provided she accepts and provided everything goes smoothly, would you say I ask her to go for another drink at my place on that same night? In the past I have never done that. I always thought it was too rough and fast. Sex happened either on the same day I met her (generally in nightclubs) or after a two or three dates, if not later. But reading Chase's articles on escalation windows, I am starting to think I probably got it all wrong and I am now afraid she might go cold on the second encounter.

It's the first time I approach the dating world so "scientifically" and I am kinda in an experimenting mood as you might have noticed, so any suggestions are most welcome.