A
Anonymous
Guest
Hello.. I am probably a forum troll.. I don't intend to be, but I am so socially isolated and have much I want to share with the world that I don't come across as normal on a forum..
I am not new to "game" or social interaction sciences or whatever you want to call it but I haven't made much progress. I go out "in the field" as much as I desire to but I'm 31 and I am getting more motivated. I abandoned it for a while. I became religious and now I am anti-religious.. I search for freedom in all endeavors, truth which sets one free, and consciousness. I don't want any methods or techniques.. I want consciousness and understanding which gives me ability and power.. I am willing to pay a price for this if I can really get it..because I need it to enjoy life.. but it need not cost anything economically and I am tired of being foolish in my efforts.. I want to live an exciting life.. I thought I wanted to get married.. now I do still desire that and much more.. a large family and a hot wife and being the pillar of a community.. yes real crime free community with a garden if you can imagine that.. but this dream is going on hold.. I need to learn to be shrewd and self-amused.. I need to fuck lots of women first.. even they seem to demand this from a would be husband... I want to wake up to reality, accept reality as it is emotionally.. and when it comes to gender and especially gender and sexual desire, or "love", things get very weird, opposite what one would expect, and they can't accept this emotionally most people.. even I know things I can't yet accept which is partly why my game sucks I'm sure..
Am I neurotic.. probably so but I am waking up to that fact.. I believe in authority.. I like the direct method, or I like being able to be direct if i so desire, without fear.. I like fearlessness.. I like the concept of dominance and authority.. I like understanding history and politics, but I must not talk about that in social groups, I know, and I can't even study that much more on the side because it affects my state and mood.. I hate having to make tough choices.. I'm trying to find balance in my life and success.. I am not so self-absorbed.. I consider other people always.. the truth is I am not selfish enough.. I am rambling now but this is unusual in real life.. I am quite isolated at the moment, not receiving much human touch or affection.. I am interested in any science of human behavior or sexual behavior, but like I said, it must become consciousness, otherwise knowledge is meaningless and it must be true consciousness of the way things really are.. so my goals are to sleep with lots of women and give them pleasure, as I always do.. I honestly think I'm good in relationships- I'm present, and I'm good in sex, I'm dominant and prolongued.. but I am bad at pick up or seduction and I am weak in areas of career...I am in touch now with my libido, from that I will form a will- specific desires.. from that I will train myself and shape my intelligence and mind so I can be successful and if I am not I will have to go back to square one repeat cycle..be more disillusioned.. that's what life feels like to me at the moment.. everything in society is a lie and a hypocrisy or contradiction which nobody else perceives, history is such a lie and omission, you could not possibly believe.. anyway I am running on.. I told you I am a forum troll not a good forum participant..
If I could I would see a woman in the street, pick her up, carry her to my place and do it right there.. or in the park... I don't masturbate and I don't watch porn, culture is pornographic enough.. I think the whole world is one big vagina that needs to be fucked or else ignored.. a curse on anyone who manipulates the male libido through deception.. I'm a lover and a fighter and a thinker and I have a purpose in life, a secret purpose but now I must learn to take care of my needs, seduce more women.. enjoy myself enjoy life and the experiences it promises but hasn't yet delivered..
I am not new to "game" or social interaction sciences or whatever you want to call it but I haven't made much progress. I go out "in the field" as much as I desire to but I'm 31 and I am getting more motivated. I abandoned it for a while. I became religious and now I am anti-religious.. I search for freedom in all endeavors, truth which sets one free, and consciousness. I don't want any methods or techniques.. I want consciousness and understanding which gives me ability and power.. I am willing to pay a price for this if I can really get it..because I need it to enjoy life.. but it need not cost anything economically and I am tired of being foolish in my efforts.. I want to live an exciting life.. I thought I wanted to get married.. now I do still desire that and much more.. a large family and a hot wife and being the pillar of a community.. yes real crime free community with a garden if you can imagine that.. but this dream is going on hold.. I need to learn to be shrewd and self-amused.. I need to fuck lots of women first.. even they seem to demand this from a would be husband... I want to wake up to reality, accept reality as it is emotionally.. and when it comes to gender and especially gender and sexual desire, or "love", things get very weird, opposite what one would expect, and they can't accept this emotionally most people.. even I know things I can't yet accept which is partly why my game sucks I'm sure..
Am I neurotic.. probably so but I am waking up to that fact.. I believe in authority.. I like the direct method, or I like being able to be direct if i so desire, without fear.. I like fearlessness.. I like the concept of dominance and authority.. I like understanding history and politics, but I must not talk about that in social groups, I know, and I can't even study that much more on the side because it affects my state and mood.. I hate having to make tough choices.. I'm trying to find balance in my life and success.. I am not so self-absorbed.. I consider other people always.. the truth is I am not selfish enough.. I am rambling now but this is unusual in real life.. I am quite isolated at the moment, not receiving much human touch or affection.. I am interested in any science of human behavior or sexual behavior, but like I said, it must become consciousness, otherwise knowledge is meaningless and it must be true consciousness of the way things really are.. so my goals are to sleep with lots of women and give them pleasure, as I always do.. I honestly think I'm good in relationships- I'm present, and I'm good in sex, I'm dominant and prolongued.. but I am bad at pick up or seduction and I am weak in areas of career...I am in touch now with my libido, from that I will form a will- specific desires.. from that I will train myself and shape my intelligence and mind so I can be successful and if I am not I will have to go back to square one repeat cycle..be more disillusioned.. that's what life feels like to me at the moment.. everything in society is a lie and a hypocrisy or contradiction which nobody else perceives, history is such a lie and omission, you could not possibly believe.. anyway I am running on.. I told you I am a forum troll not a good forum participant..
If I could I would see a woman in the street, pick her up, carry her to my place and do it right there.. or in the park... I don't masturbate and I don't watch porn, culture is pornographic enough.. I think the whole world is one big vagina that needs to be fucked or else ignored.. a curse on anyone who manipulates the male libido through deception.. I'm a lover and a fighter and a thinker and I have a purpose in life, a secret purpose but now I must learn to take care of my needs, seduce more women.. enjoy myself enjoy life and the experiences it promises but hasn't yet delivered..
