Virginity and a Sexy Vibe

[FeelIWastedMyYouth]

even though i'm not a virgin, to be honest I lowered my standards to finally lose my virginity at the age 25, with a friend with benefits, to be honest I was able to convince the girl to have pity sex with me, and surprisingly, she obliged, i'm 27, if it does take me more than a year, I hope and pray to God that I can get positive results with a girl i'm actually very physically attracted to before I reach 30.

 

[Zoro]

it's still early in this year, as in, barely gonna be entering the 4th month of 2015, if a guy starts being a committed action-taker, goes out a lot, practices a lot with cold approach, can he get results with girls before the end of the year?

Sure. I started aggressively reading GirlsChase and going out to meet women in June of 2012. I had my first lay using the material that September. So it's definitely possible.

That being said, I was not a virgin at the time, and I had pretty solid social skills (with both men and women), so my learning curve was probably much shorter than the average person who comes here. But if you put in the effort, you can certainly be getting results with women within a few months. Of course, that also depends on if you're keeping track of where your mistakes are happening and then quickly working to improve upon them so you can continue to make progress.

- Franco

I would say with the tools here, a go-getter postive attitude, and introspection to learn from mistakes, it is more than possible, but probable.

 

[FeelIWastedMyYouth]

what do you think is harder, requires more practice? learning how to get a girlfriend? or just getting a girl to hook up with you, casual-sex, one-night stands, etc.?

 

[Franco]

what do you think is harder, requires more practice? learning how to get a girlfriend? or just getting a girl to hook up with you, casual-sex, one-night stands, etc.?

It's different for everyone. Some guys may be more naturally inclined to do well with getting women into their beds but have a terrible time keeping women around for long-term prospects. Likewise, some guys may struggle mightily with getting girls into their beds, but once they do, they tend to have the girls wanting to keep them around pretty easily.

Generally, from my personal observations, guys with lower empathy tend to get women into their beds more easily. They play less of a "nice guy" role in interactions and move toward what they want very quickly with little regard to a woman's shit tests. This is why we encourage guys to be aggressive and take action more than anything when learning to get good with women because it's the best way to improve. However, as soon as these guys try to engage in longer-term relationships with these girls, they frequently miss cues made by the girls to show that they care, and they eventually send these women into forms of auto-rejection.

Guys with higher empathy are generally more self-conscious about how they appear to women. They hesitate a lot and try "not to lose" rather than "to win," and that type of mindset is usually what causes you to lose anyway. They care too much about girls' feelings, and they play it safe when girls shit test them, which is usually how you fail a shit test. On the flip side, guys with higher empathy who do end up bedding women tend to be more keen on what women want at any moment, and they are able to treat them more respectfully for the most part. The only danger here is that, if the highly empathetic guy doesn't feel like he has abundance, he can end up being needy and causing his woman to lose attraction for him over time.

Both seduction and relationships are two entirely different skills, and how fast you improve with one is almost completely independent of the other. Being a higher empathy guy myself, I found relationships to be extremely straightforward for me (after some reading on this website), and I've been able to manage my relationships almost flawlessly from the beginning. On the other hand, I had hundreds of botched interactions with girls when learning how to cold approach them and take them to bed.

- Franco

 

[FeelIWastedMyYouth]

what do you think is harder, requires more practice? learning how to get a girlfriend? or just getting a girl to hook up with you, casual-sex, one-night stands, etc.?

It's different for everyone. Some guys may be more naturally inclined to do well with getting women into their beds but have a terrible time keeping women around for long-term prospects. Likewise, some guys may struggle mightily with getting girls into their beds, but once they do, they tend to have the girls wanting to keep them around pretty easily.

Generally, from my personal observations, guys with lower empathy tend to get women into their beds more easily. They play less of a "nice guy" role in interactions and move toward what they want very quickly with little regard to a woman's shit tests. This is why we encourage guys to be aggressive and take action more than anything when learning to get good with women because it's the best way to improve. However, as soon as these guys try to engage in longer-term relationships with these girls, they frequently miss cues made by the girls to show that they care, and they eventually send these women into forms of auto-rejection.

Guys with higher empathy are generally more self-conscious about how they appear to women. They hesitate a lot and try "not to lose" rather than "to win," and that type of mindset is usually what causes you to lose anyway. They care too much about girls' feelings, and they play it safe when girls shit test them, which is usually how you fail a shit test. On the flip side, guys with higher empathy who do end up bedding women tend to be more keen on what women want at any moment, and they are able to treat them more respectfully for the most part. The only danger here is that, if the highly empathetic guy doesn't feel like he has abundance, he can end up being needy and causing his woman to lose attraction for him over time.

Both seduction and relationships are two entirely different skills, and how fast you improve with one is almost completely independent of the other. Being a higher empathy guy myself, I found relationships to be extremely straightforward for me (after some reading on this website), and I've been able to manage my relationships almost flawlessly from the beginning. On the other hand, I had hundreds of botched interactions with girls when learning how to cold approach them and take them to bed.

- Franco

when you said "This is why we encourage guys to be aggressive and take action more than anything when learning to get good with women because it's the best way to improve.", so what you mean is to take action in order to find out which area with women i'm good at? whether it is good at getting them to be your girlfriend, or just good at getting casual sex from them, as in one-night stands, random hook-ups, etc.?

 

[Franco]

FIWMY,

when you said "This is why we encourage guys to be aggressive and take action more than anything when learning to get good with women because it's the best way to improve.", so what you mean is to take action in order to find out which area with women i'm good at?

No, we encourage guys to be aggressive because it's what gets you results. Being passive in the seduction game gets you nowhere. There is a stage some guys hit, however, where they become "too" aggressive (a.k.a. a "jerk" or "asshole" -- see Hector's "The Genuine Man Series" articles), and they lose friends/women because of it, so they have to tone it back down. But being aggressive is the best way to get results when you're starting out. Learn to approach women and lead them as effectively as possible because you can't get girlfriends if you can't bed women in the first place.

- Franco

 

[FeelIWastedMyYouth]

FIWMY,

when you said "This is why we encourage guys to be aggressive and take action more than anything when learning to get good with women because it's the best way to improve.", so what you mean is to take action in order to find out which area with women i'm good at?

No, we encourage guys to be aggressive because it's what gets you results. Being passive in the seduction game gets you nowhere. There is a stage some guys hit, however, where they become "too" aggressive (a.k.a. a "jerk" or "asshole" -- see Hector's "The Genuine Man Series" articles), and they lose friends/women because of it, so they have to tone it back down. But being aggressive is the best way to get results when you're starting out. Learn to approach women and lead them as effectively as possible because you can't get girlfriends if you can't bed women in the first place.

- Franco

so how do I be aggressive without being creepy, without crossing the line?

 

[Franco]

so how do I be aggressive without being creepy, without crossing the line?

How to Not Be The Creepy Guy

- Franco

 

[FeelIWastedMyYouth]

so how do I be aggressive without being creepy, without crossing the line?

How to Not Be The Creepy Guy

- Franco

I would imagine that's the main article that goes over all the details on how to specifically be aggressive with a girl and escalate things?

 

[ray_zorse]

No. Read the article. IIRC it's about being open with girls about your interest -- the difference between hiding out in the corner and checking out the girl's figure when you think she's not looking, vs. going up to her and saying "looking great today" and then slowly scanning your eyes up and down her body while smiling a sexy smile... both are checking her out, but one is doing it openly after expressing an interest, and that's a turnon for girls. Creepy = trying to hide your interest.

Being aggressive is a slightly different matter and it's something you may have to build up to if it doesn't come naturally. As a suggestion, next time you cold approach a girl (and you ARE cold approaching right, not just lurking on the boards asking random questions in the hope you will magically improve), try grabbing her hand at some point in the interaction. I did it when there was an obstruction (a largeish group of people moving slowly) and just pulled her to the side and forward and around the people. She twisted out of my grip, so I said to her

Me: I like to show leadership, although some girls cannot accept leadership
Her: ...
Me: (smile) okay well I was heading up to the intersection there, it was nice meeting you

Basically, if you don't risk pushing the line and having her react badly, then you aren't being aggressive, you're being a pussy. So put yourself on the line. The worst thing that can happen is basically what I just described, which is to say she wasn't interested and you quickly find that out.

Ray

 

[FeelIWastedMyYouth]

No. Read the article. IIRC it's about being open with girls about your interest -- the difference between hiding out in the corner and checking out the girl's figure when you think she's not looking, vs. going up to her and saying "looking great today" and then slowly scanning your eyes up and down her body while smiling a sexy smile... both are checking her out, but one is doing it openly after expressing an interest, and that's a turnon for girls. Creepy = trying to hide your interest.

Being aggressive is a slightly different matter and it's something you may have to build up to if it doesn't come naturally. As a suggestion, next time you cold approach a girl (and you ARE cold approaching right, not just lurking on the boards asking random questions in the hope you will magically improve), try grabbing her hand at some point in the interaction. I did it when there was an obstruction (a largeish group of people moving slowly) and just pulled her to the side and forward and around the people. She twisted out of my grip, so I said to her

Me: I like to show leadership, although some girls cannot accept leadership
Her: ...
Me: (smile) okay well I was heading up to the intersection there, it was nice meeting you

Basically, if you don't risk pushing the line and having her react badly, then you aren't being aggressive, you're being a pussy. So put yourself on the line. The worst thing that can happen is basically what I just described, which is to say she wasn't interested and you quickly find that out.

Ray

so sounds like being aggressive involves a little bit of touching

 

[Witcher]

4. I just went with the flow...until I couldn't unfasten her bra. Like I said above I believe, perhaps mistakenly, that women have little to no tolerance for men who can't execute damn near flawlessly. So when I was having trouble I got nervous for a moment and rather than continue to fumble I just came out with it and was honest. Luckily for me she couldn't tell (after all I just picked her up) and she didn't care.

.

This is the main point i worry about, and the GC articles just reinfoirece this belifie. It seems that in any point of the "seduction process" you need to performe in a flawless manner, and even the slightest error will make me loose the girl. And this could be in the opening, or in the repartee where i could have lost the frame, or in the cobnversation where i failed one time to "be relatable". And this things make me always hesistate to work more.

Is this the case or i'm overcomplicating things?

 

[Zoro]

Witch

Is this the case or i'm overcomplicating things?

You are over complicating things. You have my permission to not be smooth. You have my permission to make mistakes.

You do not have my permission to ruminate the picking up before you do it. Do it and then think about what happened. Was is that little error you made that lost it, or was it your inaction?

Or maybe it didn't matter that you said "wofes" instead of "wolves" in a mumbled sentence like a 4 year old learning how to speak, because you took action and ended walking away with a number from an interested girl.

Get out there.

-JW

By the way, that bit about the "wofes" happened to me today.