Walking & Moving Slowly: I'm less and less convinced

[lux7]

Most of the times I have seen very slow used to good effects it's from heavier people.
I am more and more convinced that very slow walk is best for bigger people and retired, older millionaires.

Sure, a powerful king might move and walk slow -albeit I've never seen one-, but that's a preposterous example: context rules and we're not in Medieval Europe and clubs or streets are not the halls of royal palaces.

I quote a passage from Alla Pease's unparalleled body language bible:

Let the other person see that you are accustomed to walking confidently into offices and that you don't expect to be kept waiting. People who walk slowly or take long strides convey that they have plenty of time on their hands, are not interested in what they are doing, or have nothing else to do. This is fine for retired millionaires and those who live in Florida and Queensland, but not for anyone who wants to convey power, authority, or capability or that they are a healthy, potential mate. Influential people and those who command attention walk briskly at a medium pace with medium-length strides.

Of course slow is relative, so here's an example from Goodfellas of "great for a heavy mobster", too slow for most others: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GUz9OLYtzk&t=96s

 

[foggy]

Do you personally walk and move slowly? Or if you don't...have you tried it before and gauged reactions from other people?

 

[Big Daddy]

There is only one person out of thousands that I came to know in my life that walked slowly and whose pace I actually dug.

Most people who talk, walk and do things slowly just bore the fuck out of me and can never grab my attention for more than a fraction of a second. I can't help but think "geez, I have more to do with my time" and start thinking about what I have to do that day.

I agree with you on this one lux.

 

[Richard]

Something to keep in mind; there are two sides to every coin.

A slow walk from the Average Joe is not the same as a slow walk done by John Wayne. This idea doesn't just apply to humans either, it's a physiological sign of dominance/confidence in the animal kingdom; lions, poisonous bugs, etc.

So much more goes in to analyzing a person's walk than just "speed" or "pace."

 

[Big Daddy]

This is what troubles me. Not always I find what's "supposed" to happen according to science to be true.

The people I had in my mind were all well-dressed and trained presenters, orators or lawyers and judges I've seen in audiences and slowness as a general acts like a magnet to my phone so I can scramble something more interesting to do.

While I love and recognize the value in Christoph Waltz's paused speech, I also never ran into an elite, Oscar-winning professional actor and other (as above) I saw emulating it all sounded lame. So while you may have a point -- is it feasible?

I'd rather be Sasuke than Naruto lol but outside of said narratives I never actually found someone that translates the feeling you have seeing them on the screen vs real life.

 

[lux7]

Do you personally walk and move slowly? Or if you don't...have you tried it before and gauged reactions from other people?

Yes and it was ridiculous, but I don't pretend to generalize my experience.
I was doing it out of character given the objectives.
I remember at a conference with my friend and colleague. I walked slow like I owned the place, my partner -the hungriest, most drive people I've ever met or seen- moving quick, speaking quick, getting contacts and business done. He was widely respected for his hunger and "let's get down to business ASAP" attitude-.

Now, that is NOT true for most situations, my friend would have looked ridiculous with that tempo in a chill lounge, because everything is contextual.
Like Big Daddy said, I know walking slow and moving slow can be fantastic for some body types, roles in society and situations.

But at this point in life, I don't feel like "move slow and walk slow" is one of those mantras that can be applied to most occasions, for most people. "not too fast, not too slow" to me sounds more right.
With women, in my case, I found that more natural, "going with the flow and the mood of the situation" worked best than actively trying to slow down. Of course, some of those moods will be slow, but some others will be upbeat, and slowing down then will feel like throwing water on the flames.

Upon approach, many times, starting quicker and slowing down later worked best for me. Slow can make it seem boring and contrived while the faster tempo electrifies the conversation and makes it feel more like "love at first sight" which is enveloping the both of you and is taking you both for an exciting ride.

 

[lux7]

Here's a example of "fast" working well for authoritative people trying to project an aura of power.

Putin, a man often used as an example for "mannish attitude" walks relatively fast here and moves quite a bit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUDWNcvoosQ

I quote from that video:

"because of course the faster you stride, the stronger and more powerful and fit you are"

 

[Chase]

Yeah, it's situational. I used to be more "slow walk absolutist" but am not as much these days.

When you are in a situation where you are not in control of your schedule (like in school), walking slow is most dominant. Being in a hurry just makes you look like a goody two shoes trying to get to class on time. The slow walker looks like a bad ass.

Or when you're in a dangerous part of town, walking slow is more dominant. Nervous people rush through the hood and look like marks. When you stroll through, you look like you belong there.

If you're a more developed, safer part of town, with little/no risk of violence, and you're also not schedule-controlled, a brisker walk generally comes across more powerful and more attractive. You look like you're busy and have things to do and places to be. People assume you're a busy guy.

I naturally became a brisker walker as I became a business owner living in big cities. Suddenly time = money and I could no longer just stroll around everywhere all the time. But my walk was still attractive. A faster walk also lends you an air of dominance in certain contexts; if she's strolling along and you walk up to her at a brisker pace, engage her quick, take her contact info, then bounce, if it's a safe, middle class or upscale area she'll usually assume you're just a busy guy with lots to do and you look higher value.

There's one other benefit to a brisker walk too, in that it lets you catch up with girls, then escape them. i.e., if you walk slow, and they walk slow, how do you catch them? Then after your approach, if you want to bounce, it's weird if you both walk the same way at the same speed. Or if you let them go up ahead of you while you walk slow behind. If you just take off down the street and leave them in your dust, works much better.

So yeah. I should probably update the sexy walk article... I think I harp on slow walks pretty much to exclusion there. Should probably update my book as well.

These days, I would say it's very much context dependent whether slow or brisk is superior.

Chase