- Joined
- Oct 21, 2023
- Messages
- 312
In daygame, I do a lot approaches in places such as the street, mall, underground etc. When it comes to girls that are walking, I see there are two separate camps.
1. There are the guys who place a lot of emphasis on STOPPING the girl immediately and then delivering the opener which is usually a direct opener as that is the only thing that makes sense with stopping a girl who is walking.
2. Then there is the second camp of guys who say don't try to stop her immediately as that is too disruptive and asking for too much compliance right at the start. Instead open her and walk with her and then as she sees that you are a cool guy, you can then stop her.
I personally up until now, have been following the former camp. I usually go up, stop her and then deliver my opener telling her I was doing xyz and saw her and I wanted to come talk to her because I thought she was (insert compliment here).
This system has been working fine. While a small minority of girls don't stop, most girls do stop and listen to my opener and either are polite and stay for a few seconds to a minute and then leave or they end up hooking and we end up having a good conversation.
But I have been noticing a few cons of this method I am following which are as follows:
Disadvantages of doing Stops
- As I have to stop her immediately, it increases my AA a bit as I feel it draws more attention to the approach.
- When it is on a busy street with a lot of foot traffic or in narrow alley in a mall, it is uncomfortable as we are kind of in the way of other people once I stop her and it kind of puts the spotlight on us and sometimes I feel the girl also realizes that we are in the way and feels more uncomfortable.
- In places like malls and indoor areas, a stop draws a lot more attention and if she rejects you and you kind of turn around and walk back it stands out a lot more and is less discrete. Because of this, I feel after I do 1 or 2 I need to switch locations as doing more would draw more attention.
- When girls are really in a hurry, they just cannot afford to stop and might have been okay with having a chat as long they were still walking to wherever they were going.
Many a times due to these reasons, I end up waiting for the best time to stop the girl and they end up getting on a bus, going into a shop or a building and I end up not opening them.
Therefore, while stops have their place, I am thinking of experimenting with just walking next to her and a bit ahead of her and then opening with a compliment without immediately trying to stop her.
If she stops, no problem, I would stop.
If she does not, I can continue walking and talking and then depending on how well she is engaging, I can decide either to stop her or just eject by letting her walk off and slowing down or just walking off in another direction. I think by doing this, I can approach more discreetly without drawing unnecessary attention in certain scenarios.
Now the arguments I have heard of why its not good to walk with.
Arguments against doing the walk with approach
- The girl feels like you will not leave her alone and this will make her uncomfortable.
- She will associate you with charity sign up people and panhandlers (But funnily in my city the charity and panhandlers actually try to do stops, they don't walk with)
- Its weak and not as manly as the stop.
I don't feel like these are strong enough to argue against not trying the walk with method. I am going to field test it.
But I wanted to see what the others who approach walking sets have to say on this. Do you guys always do stops or you do the walk with? And what has worked better for you?
It would be great to hear about your experiences.
1. There are the guys who place a lot of emphasis on STOPPING the girl immediately and then delivering the opener which is usually a direct opener as that is the only thing that makes sense with stopping a girl who is walking.
2. Then there is the second camp of guys who say don't try to stop her immediately as that is too disruptive and asking for too much compliance right at the start. Instead open her and walk with her and then as she sees that you are a cool guy, you can then stop her.
I personally up until now, have been following the former camp. I usually go up, stop her and then deliver my opener telling her I was doing xyz and saw her and I wanted to come talk to her because I thought she was (insert compliment here).
This system has been working fine. While a small minority of girls don't stop, most girls do stop and listen to my opener and either are polite and stay for a few seconds to a minute and then leave or they end up hooking and we end up having a good conversation.
But I have been noticing a few cons of this method I am following which are as follows:
Disadvantages of doing Stops
- As I have to stop her immediately, it increases my AA a bit as I feel it draws more attention to the approach.
- When it is on a busy street with a lot of foot traffic or in narrow alley in a mall, it is uncomfortable as we are kind of in the way of other people once I stop her and it kind of puts the spotlight on us and sometimes I feel the girl also realizes that we are in the way and feels more uncomfortable.
- In places like malls and indoor areas, a stop draws a lot more attention and if she rejects you and you kind of turn around and walk back it stands out a lot more and is less discrete. Because of this, I feel after I do 1 or 2 I need to switch locations as doing more would draw more attention.
- When girls are really in a hurry, they just cannot afford to stop and might have been okay with having a chat as long they were still walking to wherever they were going.
Many a times due to these reasons, I end up waiting for the best time to stop the girl and they end up getting on a bus, going into a shop or a building and I end up not opening them.
Therefore, while stops have their place, I am thinking of experimenting with just walking next to her and a bit ahead of her and then opening with a compliment without immediately trying to stop her.
If she stops, no problem, I would stop.
If she does not, I can continue walking and talking and then depending on how well she is engaging, I can decide either to stop her or just eject by letting her walk off and slowing down or just walking off in another direction. I think by doing this, I can approach more discreetly without drawing unnecessary attention in certain scenarios.
Now the arguments I have heard of why its not good to walk with.
Arguments against doing the walk with approach
- The girl feels like you will not leave her alone and this will make her uncomfortable.
- She will associate you with charity sign up people and panhandlers (But funnily in my city the charity and panhandlers actually try to do stops, they don't walk with)
- Its weak and not as manly as the stop.
I don't feel like these are strong enough to argue against not trying the walk with method. I am going to field test it.
But I wanted to see what the others who approach walking sets have to say on this. Do you guys always do stops or you do the walk with? And what has worked better for you?
It would be great to hear about your experiences.