Was approached but accidentally snubbed her a bit, is redemption possible?

[Freaer]

Hi all,

I'll make this quick.

There's a girl in one of my classes (college) who seems a bit shy who I've been non-verbally flirting (eye contact) with off and on throughout the semester, and getting a range of shyish flirtations in return.

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Today as I left class, she and I happened to end up walking alongside each other, and she turned to me, gave me a flirty once over (up down up ) and said, "Heyy..."


I replied with "Heyy, how's it going?" and a slight but warm smile (I was cool, but mentally I guess I was a bit off my game because I had been thinking about something and she took me by surprise.)

As we walked, we chatted for a few seconds about my accent (because it was the first thing she asked ) before I told her I was forming a study group and asked if she was interested (not sure why I did this honestly, fuck me lol). As I did this, I stopped walking, and when I did, she stopped to turn and give me 100% of her attention. Her body language and facial expression were cute and attentive (100% flirty) and after discussing the study group for a second, I told her I would let her know when I decided on a day for it as I walked off. She smiled and said, "Ok!"
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So analysis of the interaction is that I didn't make full, confident, and sexy eye contact as I should have, and that I got the impression she felt like I snubbed her a bit, as we had developed quite a bit of sexual tension just from flirting with eye contact. I SHOULD have gotten her name, chatted with her for a bit while flirting with eye contact, vocal tone, and incidental touch, and then told I had to get to work and asked her out for coffee this weekend, but for some reason I was really on tilt from being lost in thought when the interaction began and hadn't thought of her in a while.

Next class period, I plan to approach her and tell her something like, "Hey, how are you doing? Hey, I'm sorry, I was in a rush to get to work last week and I forgot to properly introduce myself. I'm Freaer." And if she says, "I'm such-and-such," I'll take her hand (not shake, but take) and hold it for a second or two as I say "Such-and-such. It's nice to meet you, such-and-such." while flirting at her with my eyes. Then I'll say something like, "I'm going out of town tomorrow, but do you want to get coffee next week sometime?" if yes, I'll ask her what her schedule is like, set a date, and tell her to put her number in my phone so we can coordinate.

Things I'm going to focus on doing during this interaction:

• 
  * Begin conversation with incidental light touch on her arm (to foster touching)
  * Keeping vocal tone low
  * Speech slow, methodical, and confident

Any suggestions, tips, or experiences to share? I'm sure I'm not the first guy to accidentally screw up a potentially awesome meeting, and any criticism or suggestions regarding my plan would be appreciated. I'll be sure to update after I see her next.

I feel like I don't need to chase frame her that much, as I get the impression she's rather shy and is already very attracted to me. Being not too easy to get is something I'm trying to foster as well, because as a beginner I sometimes have a habit of seeming quite needy.

THANKS GUYS

// I will be my own light.

 

[someone]

I think you did fine...

Follow Chace's advice and don't say you're sorry. In my own experience, it makes you seem weak, plus you really have NOTHING to feel sorry for so it's disingenuous and a bit too try-hard.

As far as what you have planned for the next time you see her, I think it's over-rehearsed and you are over-thinking things. I am thinking that she probably walked away from your exchange quite happy that she finally spoke with the mystery man from her class. Mystery is a strong aphrodisiac early in a relationship.

Next time you see her in class, sit down next to her. Don't make a big deal out of it. No fanfare. Let her do the talking.

After class, ask her what she's doing Saturday night. Be direct, casual, and don't overthink it. Women are often turned on by boldness. The fact that she doesn't even know your name and you're asking her out will be a bit exciting (who is this guy??). No matter how she handles it, just be casual, don't take yourself too seriously, and DO NOT over-think it. Get out of your head and go with the flow!

 

[Freaer]

Thanks, Someone! Your advice definitely resonates with me, and I'll do just that.

I'll update with news.

 

[Freaer]

Quick update, last Monday class was canceled and then we had thanksgiving break, so I haven't seen her since. I might see her on Friday, but whenever/ifever I do, I will be sure to approach and ask her out and update.

 

[Freaer]

Late Update:

So, I saw her last Friday before, so I walked with her to class and chatted a bit to get to know her. Apparently she is an intellectual type and enjoys the class we're heading to.

I'm one of the most active members of this class, and everyone thinks I'm smart already because I'm actually brave enough to talk in class (lol), so during this class in particular I take every opportunity (without being annoying) to ask questions and make comments that are insightful and well thought out, all the while making sure I am relaxed and comfortable with the spotlight. The teacher even calls on me numerous times to ask me if I have any comments.

I had a feeling she would appreciate that, and I was right, because after the class was over, she remained seated while I stood up to get going, and she asked me if I was heading to my next class--clearly desiring to prolong the interaction. Unfortunately I had to head back to work, so after telling her that, I asked her a few questions about herself (relevant to working/living on campus), and then I suggested we meet up some time to study for the finals. She enthusiastically agrees. Tho I get the feeling like she's trying to feel out how I'm going to interact with her as she gives me alternating warm (but slightly distant) and super hot responses. I say cool and hand her my phone telling her to call herself with it, and then I put her name in.

Later she texts ME about the meeting day/time and she's very chatty, but unfortunately it becomes clear that our schedules aren't going to work for us to meet to study together, so I just say we should forget about meeting to study and just grab coffee after finals. She's gives the whole "Um, lol, sure we can hang out" thing. Maybe she's just surprised I had the guts to just skip that and ask her out to coffee without any hesitation.

A few days later, Saturday night, she texts me about some class notes I shared with her on Drive, and she thinks I'm really smart now because I have good notes. We chat on an off for a few hours (she's at a sports game), but I'm careful to be expressive through text (it's easy to be lame over text), and while leading the conversation about her, and mixing in some somewhat flirtatious comments in there. Apparently she likes it because after I close the convo to concentrate on work, today she texts ME again wishing me luck on my finals and asking how my day has been.

My main learning points from this interaction so far have been:

1. Be bold. Own your confidence, and people can tell. While I was chatting with this girl after class and making incidental touch, most people were still there and watching us talk and the other girls in the class were impressed by my boldness. So were the guys.

2. Just like inperson convo, texting is boring if you just stick to facts and information. Mix flirtation in there quite a bit, make your phrasing interesting, be a bit overly expressive, and in general follow the same convo rules you do in person.


I'll update later. Unfortunately I have to go out of town before we can meet, but we're going to meet up after the holidays. I'm interested to see if 1) she will text me during the holidays (I think she will) and 2) she will still be interested when I get back. LOL

I think the abundance mentality I've been trying to foster is really coming across these days. For the first time in my life I have like 5 girls pursuing me.