We don't know each other long enough..

[zqw 10k]

Hi all,

I just got this response when I went in for the kiss, she said this earlier in our conversation when I asked what music she listened to and if she would like to dance a bit.. It didn't work at all, and she said yeah but I don't know.. "I don't know you for long enough.."
She's a shy girl, and she possibly might view me as a boyfriend candidate. So I decided to deep dive more so she could connect and to make a bit fun of her statement by saying "how long would you like to wait? Till we're 80 or such?" but it wasn't powerful to break her walls

At the end I tried to get a kiss from her (we were both in my apartment room the whole time) but she wouldn't let me
What could I have done better to step out of the boyfriend candidate zone? And what could I do now?
I know she isn't special but I need to troubleshoot myself

Some key things about the conversation:
- We discussed sex in general, that the slut label is unfair
- She told me she broke up with her ex a couple of days ago, she had been with him for 3 months, they didn't have sex (I kinda asked for it indirectly)
- I deep dived a lot, and we talked for 2 hours just connecting and me trying to show of that I am a sexual man
- I tried to transition to a sex story, I said she reminded me of someone and she replied with "which aspect?" and I said character but that I didn't want to tell her the story because it was a bit naughty.. She then laughed and accepted it which was too bad because I couldn't tell it which would have put a great sexual frame

PS: She's here for only a year (half year remaining), maybe could I force something quick by saying "It would be great to .. before you leave"? (Or something similar.. but how?)

 

[-B-]

You seemed to do fine in the things you described. Except for I would say that you put the ball a bit to much in her court when you said things like “well how long do we have to wait, until were 80?” and kept persisting in that kind of way when she wasn't digging it. Try to have the mind set of “I get girls all the time and im a cool guy... hey this girls kinda cute so im just gonna give it a shot. If shes not interested no big deal and theres a bunch more options for me and I don't care” let this ooze out through your actions and the way you behave around her (don’t say it directly). I believe that what went wrong here wasn't in what you described, and that you are going to review the situation from an outside perspective instead of your own perspective to see what went wrong. Some of these may have been the case, see if they apply to your situation.

-She just might not be attracted to you. This is okay, every girl has different types and preferences and it happens to every guy at some point. If you try to kiss a girl who is not attracted to you, they are not going to just say “No you're not attractive to me and I don't want to kiss you” because they think that would hurt your feelings. They will more likely say that you are moving to fast (they WILL say this until you're 80) or that they like you but think that you should be friends (even if they don't want to be friends). Did she give you any signs of attraction or do anything that indicated she wanted you sexually? If you think this might be you, think of how you can develop your own individual fundamentals and improve on your weaknesses. Then just move on to other girls and keep practicing.

-You may have known her too long and not set the proper tone and created a spark between you. It may have all seemed platonic to her and the kiss came out of nowhere taking her off guard. Surprisingly talking about sex does not turn people on that often. Read chase's article on how to build sexual tension. If you do the things he teaches there correctly, you will easily be able to tell if there is some sexual tension going on between you two and if she wants you. If a girl wants you then they will usually always let you kiss them.

-When in doubt just be more dominant. I know this is going to sound a bit weird, but don't care too much about what she is thinking and how she is reacting and just do whatever you want (obviously still keep everything you've learned here in mind and use it). Girls can tell when you are trying hard to get them and are reacting to their reactions, and care a lot about what they are thinking in general. This makes them subconsciously think “Why is he trying so hard and not easily succeeding with me, he must not be able to get girls as good as me... Yep, im too good for him.” The more you try to get stuff around a girl and fail, the more she is going to view you as a lowly incapable guy that is unattractive. That is why its important you get your way as much as you can (without being a total prick). Instead of trying to get a kiss from her. Just pull her in and kiss her. If she turns her head then just move it back towards you and kiss her anyway. This will make you look much more dominant and might change the way she views you. Girls LOVE guys who get shit done and get whatever the fuck they want.

What should you do know? I would say don't keep doing what you are doing now because its not working. Either act like “hey I took my shot and it's no big deal... on to the next girl” she possibly could dig that outcome independence. Or come on with more edge and dominance, persist (in a flirty, positive way of course) with little care of how she responds at all, and to limits that you may have thought were unacceptable before.

Hope this helps

-B

 

[Marty]

-When in doubt just be more dominant. I know this is going to sound a bit weird, but don't care too much about what she is thinking and how she is reacting and just do whatever you want (obviously still keep everything you've learned here in mind and use it). Girls can tell when you are trying hard to get them and are reacting to their reactions, and care a lot about what they are thinking in general. This makes them subconsciously think “Why is he trying so hard and not easily succeeding with me, he must not be able to get girls as good as me... Yep, im too good for him.” The more you try to get stuff around a girl and fail, the more she is going to view you as a lowly incapable guy that is unattractive. That is why its important you get your way as much as you can (without being a total prick). Instead of trying to get a kiss from her. Just pull her in and kiss her. If she turns her head then just move it back towards you and kiss her anyway. This will make you look much more dominant and might change the way she views you. Girls LOVE guys who get shit done and get whatever the fuck they want.

This is a great reminder, B!

 

[-B-]

Thanks Marty. By the way, since everybody on this site strangely has male actors as their profile pics you should give the Michael J Fox pic a spin sometime . I can say that I am personally disgusted with the Lack of Patrick Swayze representation on here.

 

[zqw 10k]

Thanks a lot for the great response B!

You seemed to do fine in the things you described. Except for I would say that you put the ball a bit to much in her court when you said things like “well how long do we have to wait, until were 80?” and kept persisting in that kind of way when she wasn't digging it. Try to have the mind set of “I get girls all the time and im a cool guy... hey this girls kinda cute so im just gonna give it a shot. If shes not interested no big deal and theres a bunch more options for me and I don't care” let this ooze out through your actions and the way you behave around her (don’t say it directly). I believe that what went wrong here wasn't in what you described, and that you are going to review the situation from an outside perspective instead of your own perspective to see what went wrong. Some of these may have been the case, see if they apply to your situation.

-She just might not be attracted to you. This is okay, every girl has different types and preferences and it happens to every guy at some point. If you try to kiss a girl who is not attracted to you, they are not going to just say “No you're not attractive to me and I don't want to kiss you” because they think that would hurt your feelings. They will more likely say that you are moving to fast (they WILL say this until you're 80) or that they like you but think that you should be friends (even if they don't want to be friends). Did she give you any signs of attraction or do anything that indicated she wanted you sexually? If you think this might be you, think of how you can develop your own individual fundamentals and improve on your weaknesses. Then just move on to other girls and keep practicing.

This might be the case although I don't think it is, but it's difficult to know if it is or not, I thought she was attracted to me as she often seems to touch my shoulder and she has very strong eye contact with me which she doesn't have with a lot of other people. She also told me that one time in the tram (once when I was experimenting with my confidence, I wanted to try out some social experiments with some absolutely crazy stuff like doing a super sayan while everyone else was looking - which helped, I'm very confident now) she saw me doing that with her girlfriends and she told me that normally I was just a normal guy and a nice person in general. Anyways I don't think this means friendzone otherwise she wouldn't have cared about me, I really think this is boyfriend zone

-You may have known her too long and not set the proper tone and created a spark between you. It may have all seemed platonic to her and the kiss came out of nowhere taking her off guard. Surprisingly talking about sex does not turn people on that often. Read chase's article on how to build sexual tension. If you do the things he teaches there correctly, you will easily be able to tell if there is some sexual tension going on between you two and if she wants you. If a girl wants you then they will usually always let you kiss them.

This could also be true but I don't think it is, we saw each other every once in a week (just saying hi, that's all, no real conversation going on so not much tension going on between us 2). She also had from almost the beginning the strong eye contact, which became even stronger with a sexier smile after my "super sayan in the tram" move. I'll ASAP read the article about sexual tension and see what I could do better next time. I also feel like I didn't asked in a dominant way, it sounded a bit weird, awkward and funny which made her laugh a bit (awkward for her, not for me as I'm quiet experienced with awkward stuff)

-When in doubt just be more dominant. I know this is going to sound a bit weird, but don't care too much about what she is thinking and how she is reacting and just do whatever you want (obviously still keep everything you've learned here in mind and use it). Girls can tell when you are trying hard to get them and are reacting to their reactions, and care a lot about what they are thinking in general. This makes them subconsciously think “Why is he trying so hard and not easily succeeding with me, he must not be able to get girls as good as me... Yep, im too good for him.” The more you try to get stuff around a girl and fail, the more she is going to view you as a lowly incapable guy that is unattractive. That is why its important you get your way as much as you can (without being a total prick). Instead of trying to get a kiss from her. Just pull her in and kiss her. If she turns her head then just move it back towards you and kiss her anyway. This will make you look much more dominant and might change the way she views you. Girls LOVE guys who get shit done and get whatever the fuck they want.

This advice sounds golden to me, and it doesn't sound weird at all, I've been thinking this for a long time, but never tried it out on anyone.. yet. Although I wasn't really dominant (still a bit though, as I commanded to move every know and then to sit on another spot). I was in the "no-care" mood, and I just waved her a good evening after it. Later on the evening she saw me again with a couple of friends and she came to me and we small talked a bit (she started the conversation). I'll try it out to be more dominant next time, with the next girls.

What should you do know? I would say don't keep doing what you are doing now because its not working. Either act like “hey I took my shot and it's no big deal... on to the next girl” she possibly could dig that outcome independence. Or come on with more edge and dominance, persist (in a flirty, positive way of course) with little care of how she responds at all, and to limits that you may have thought were unacceptable before.

Hope this helps
-B-B

I see, I'll try it out one more time while being more dominant and will see what happens because she lives like 10-20 meters away from me but I'll next her if nothing good comes out of it.

Just one question, what do you think would be the best way to pull the manhandle kiss off?
I think under a glass of wine, sitting next to each other, diving a bit and suddenly I stop talking,
put down my glass,
put down her glass,
stare a bit in here eyes,
put a sexy smile up,
put my hand behind her neck and manhandle her

And if that doesn't work, I'll continue practicing it on some other gals

 

[-B-]

yea touching you and smiling is always a good sign. Usually girls don't do this to guys they want no sexual part of.

On the man handle kiss. Once you read the article on sexual tension, use those tactics and techniques with her to bring it right up to the edge. Once you get some tension you can really throw it out at anytime. I wouldn't try to plan it too much with what you are gonna do as then you get in this mind set of waiting for the "perfect moment". This can cause a lot of hesitation and may prevent you from doing it all together if things don't go exactly the way they are planned out in your head (they rarely ever do). I would say once you feel there is some good tension just go for it then and there. And i agree with you that you want her to notice a bit of a change in you're behavior before you kiss her out of nowhere (intensely looking into her eyes, a bit heavier breathing, looking at her lips. She should know something is just about to go down right before it happens). Yea man and i suggest you really just dominate her and give it to her good with no care at all about how shes thinking or how she will react. If you go "Super Sayan" on the public trans no problem than you definitely have the confidence to pull this off. I think that the payoff if this goes well is huge and if it fails then you didn't really do much damage or loose much ground. Also if she does reject and pull away hard... don't ask her whats wrong and why she doesn't want too, don't try to bargain with her or persuade her to kiss you with logic either. If shes totally rejecting the pure dominance with no sign of giving in, immediately switch to playing it cool and act like shes the one being weird, silly, and shy in this situation (kissing is not a big deal at all, even conservative girls do it) and you just chuckle it off with this "whatever" attitude like nothing serious at all just happened. Be positive, make a little joke about her being so shy and timid, then just pick up where you were before like normal.

 

[zqw 10k]

yea touching you and smiling is always a good sign. Usually girls don't do this to guys they want no sexual part of.

On the man handle kiss. Once you read the article on sexual tension, use those tactics and techniques with her to bring it right up to the edge. Once you get some tension you can really throw it out at anytime. I wouldn't try to plan it too much with what you are gonna do as then you get in this mind set of waiting for the "perfect moment". This can cause a lot of hesitation and may prevent you from doing it all together if things don't go exactly the way they are planned out in your head (they rarely ever do). I would say once you feel there is some good tension just go for it then and there. And i agree with you that you want her to notice a bit of a change in you're behavior before you kiss her out of nowhere (intensely looking into her eyes, a bit heavier breathing, looking at her lips. She should know something is just about to go down right before it happens). Yea man and i suggest you really just dominate her and give it to her good with no care at all about how shes thinking or how she will react. If you go "Super Sayan" on the public trans no problem than you definitely have the confidence to pull this off. I think that the payoff if this goes well is huge and if it fails then you didn't really do much damage or loose much ground. Also if she does reject and pull away hard... don't ask her whats wrong and why she doesn't want too, don't try to bargain with her or persuade her to kiss you with logic either. If shes totally rejecting the pure dominance with no sign of giving in, immediately switch to playing it cool and act like shes the one being weird, silly, and shy in this situation (kissing is not a big deal at all, even conservative girls do it) and you just chuckle it off with this "whatever" attitude like nothing serious at all just happened. Be positive, make a little joke about her being so shy and timid, then just pick up where you were before like normal.

Sounds perfect to me, thanks a lot for the advice and the troubleshoot B!

 

[-B-]

oh yea, one more thing i forgot to mention. If she rejects and you do handle it like I mentioned above. Maintain any level of physical contact shes accepting, let her cool off for a little bit. Then go right back into building sexual tension and try to man handle her and kiss her again. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. You will be surprised how even the most resistant girls can break with persistence applied like this. Above all just remember one thing

"You can't question the cock... You can only suck it" -B

 

[zqw 10k]

oh yea, one more thing i forgot to mention. If she rejects and you do handle it like I mentioned above. Maintain any level of physical contact shes accepting, let her cool off for a little bit. Then go right back into building sexual tension and try to man handle her and kiss her again. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. You will be surprised how even the most resistant girls can break with persistence applied like this. Above all just remember one thing

"You can't question the cock... You can only suck it" -B

Hmm, true that persistence is important, I'll try it out all these new tricks and toys and see what I can get!
This is going to be fun, even if it won't work or if it will it's always fun to experiment haha, thanks a lot for the great ideas man!

 

[zqw 10k]

Hey all,

Me again. Just wanted to share that I just discovered that her boyfriend and her are talking once more.
So I think my best solution would be to just next time I see her, I manhandle her without saying anything (if possible).
Not even a simple "Hey". Just guide her to either her or my chamber, stare deep into her eyes with a sexy smile, stroke her arm a bit,
put my hand behind her neck, push her a bit against the wall or the door (gently enough) an manhandle her.

What do you guys think?
This will surely form some solid experience, as I've never did this before but I do have the confidence for it.
It also makes it a now or never moment, and we'll see what'll happen.

If it turns out in a big slap, at least I know how that feels like and I'll just laugh it off and next her. No big deal! It's just a social experiment

- Zq