GF-
girlsfollow said:
Impressive you find 2 hours is enough to build enough rapport! I suppose this has a lot to do with getting the physical fundamentals down (I noticed a dramatic change in girls responses for instance if my hair wasn't done well) as well as the other fundamentals. I think I have often let dates drag on too long actually -
Well, remember, rapport isn't about finding out a certain range of facts about her, it's just building enough of a connection that she feels comfortable becoming sexual around you (without building SO MUCH of one that she's afraid if she gets sexual with you it risks her losing too much... which is what happens if you talk to her for
too long).
You can build rapport in 1 minute or 10 minutes if you hit the right topics and she's already on the hunt for a man to take her home and bed her. It's not necessarily a matter of length of time... but you're right, fundamentals do help tremendously. These days for me, anything going over an hour and a half feels like it's dragging on too long; the girl's ready already, stop delaying. If you don't have as much of a sexual vibe going on and girls aren't feeling it as much, maybe take as long as 3 hours, but that seems like pushing it... she's either interested or she isn't, really.
girlsfollow said:
I find the nightcap suggestion is quite forward though? It's basically like asking a girl "you want to come up for a cup of coffee?" in a way thats interpreted as "wanna come up for sex?" which unless you have super high attraction can be too much. I find something a little less threatening can be better with a little more plausible deniability, no?
Again, what I'm going for is implicit sexuality.
When I say, "How about we grab a nightcap and call it a night?" I never say where we're grabbing that nightcap. It's just implied. But anything you do where you invite her home has that. When I was starting out I used to tell girls about souvenirs I'd picked up while traveling in various locales, and invite them to come back to see my souvenirs. At the time, I thought this was a GREAT line, and it really did work... but now I look back and I'm like, dear lord, what a terrible line that is. I can't believe I used to use it... and I can't believe it WORKED as well as it did!
It's much less about what you're inviting her to do, so long as it isn't explicitly, "Hey, wanna go to my place and fool around?" If a girl goes home with you, she knows what that means, and there's really no dancing around that.
Also, the more you dance around it, the less prepared she's going to be for what's coming when she gets back to your place, and the more feigned surprise / resistance you're going to face when you begin to escalate.
girlsfollow said:
also what time would you end weekend dates then? What woould you suggest as a range for length of dates 2-4h? I've recently been toying with the 10am idea aswell - I'll be trying this out soon. Also whats your reasoning behind later than 7? You think 7 is too early for the sexual vibe? -here it gets dark at 6 and exactly because I was aiming for 10 I was thinking of pushing the start back to 6.30 (on a sunday and with a girl I had not seen in 4 months with little comfort - this was to build a bit of a connection first etc)
My preferred timing for weekend dates is about 11 or 11:30 AM until 1 or 1:30 PM. Nice and early. Even if she has thing planned that evening, nobody plans things for 3 PM (usually).
Length to target: 2 hours of talking max before you invite her home, unless you're doing a very energetic date (beach, rollerblading, ice-skating, laser tag, etc.), which...
can be good (physical energy makes sex more likely, actually; it's why tickle fights and play-fighting immediately prior to escalation up your odds; also why BradP was so big on Dance Dance Revolution for so long), but you've got to have logistics planned out very well for that (e.g., the laser tag place is right next to the hot tub place, which is where you'll end up at the end of the date). Normally though, 2 hours in a cafe is all you need, then invite her home.
As far as why I picked later than 7, it's more about practical work and traffic reasons than anything else. In most major cities, most girls are coming home from work and fighting through rush hour traffic... 7 PM ends up being too early to realistically get off of work, get home, shower up / do make up, then turn around and make it back to the place without getting completely hectic or otherwise coming straight from work. Hectic is bad because she's in the wrong frame of mind, and straight from work is bad because she hasn't done anything to ready herself for the date... you're not that big of a deal. So, you just give her some time to go home and freshen up, spend a few hours thinking about the date, and get herself all prim, primed, and excited. (obviously, if she doesn't have a traditional 9-to-5 or she's off on the day of the date or she's in school or something like that, you don't need to worry so much about this one)
Chase
