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Welcome, Gentleman, to the Other Side of Pick Up

The Marksman

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 22, 2014
Messages
31
In my experience there's two kinds of guys in this community. A seemingly larger portion that practice and study these skill sets in order to bang bitties by the billions (my best friend is one of these). Then there's the other subset, the ones looking to hone their seduction and relationship management skills for the purpose of a relationship. I am the latter. The following is an update on my relationship so far, and what practicing pick up has taught me.

To begin:
• I am in a long term monogamous relationship with Dani (you can read the back history in the field reports section).
• I still practice pick up.
• I do so right in front of my monogamous girlfriend.
• She helps.
• In fact, I taught her pick up, the very same things you read on this site, I even showed the site to her.

If you just had a WTF moment, GOOD.

We have a simple arrangement. If she is able to help me get a number / date, We go home that night and she gets her rammed through the wall, however she wants. If she fails, or if I secure the date / number without her, she gets nothing. Simple.

We have been propositioned numerous times for orgies and group sex, as well as each of us individually. These offers however disinterest me. Pick up for me is a mental sport. A game of seductive chess in which I move to checkmate a lady without her ever seeing it coming. And when I win the game, I stand up, shake hands, and walk away. The moment I know she's ready to go home and get on her knees is the moment I take her number, propose we meet up later that week (which we never wind up doing), and instead tell my girlfriend she's going home to do it instead, and to go get her jacket and warm up the car. She actually does anything I tell her to. She wears what I want when we go out, we eat where I want, watch what I want, fuck how I want, in whatever hole I like (she was VERY against anal and swore it would NEVER happen when we first started sleeping together), she even answers me in yes, sir.

Welcome, Gentleman, to the other side of pick up.

And by the other side, I mean, the point after you bang all your dream ladies, your club seductions, your library bathroom flings, your supermarket random happenstances. The point, where you pick one. It doesn't have to be boring, or consist of fights, or wondering what you did wrong. Hell, it doesn't have to consist of physically seeing each other much either. It, in fact, consists of only a few fundamentals, which I have found to be as follows.

1) Frank, disarming honesty.
You don't have to tell her everything under the sun, in fact, don't, that's dumb, and asking for problems. But if she asks a question, tell her everything that she wants to know. My girlfriend asked about pick up, in our first couple dates, when she suspected I was a player. I gave her the frank, disarming truth. She'll watch some of my interactions now and laugh, she'll even watch with her friends, who will listen in shock as she gives them the play by play of the entire thing. But this frank, disarming honesty is what eliminates her jealousy, and allows her to give %100 blind trust to me, because she knows no matter how gruesome, she gets the honest answer. This also means she knows when to and not to ask questions.

2) If you don't go down on women, you better start.
Foreplay, is the key to unlocking the orgasm door. And blowing her mind, is half of what keeps her with you, in all honesty. Women leave money, security, 'safety', for this shit. If she's short with you, or distant, or frankly anything but attentive, you are not handling your business in the bedroom. You better phone a friend, pick up a book, and figure it out. If you're not making her cum, sooner or later, someone will. Don't get a complex about this either. Show her that you want to learn if you don't already know, this is one of those times where the whole frank honesty thing comes in.

3) She'll do anything and everything, if she feels genuinely sexy about it.
Not slutty $50 a dance sexy either. Although my girlfriend frequently calls herself my slutty cum slave, those terms and words are used sparingly and situationally. However, I've unlocked the sexual beast and let her out of the cage, by reassuring her that she'll never receive judgement from me, and by lettering her know how sexy she is when she does these things. The trick here, is your words. Learn how to dirty talk her, and when.

4) Appreciate. Always.
Every now and then, you have to do something totally unexpectedly Nicholas Sparks romantic. Like, once every few months. Selflessly romantic, and let her know that you appreciate the small and big things that she does for you. If you do it all the time, it will get old and boring. It has to be just enough to catch her off guard. Just enough for it to really mean something, because it doesn't happen very often. This means that you actually have to listen to her when she talks and pay attention to the little things that she does. And then, when you send her to the spa for the day Saturday, and she comes home to that new dress and heels she keeps maybe some day-ing when she shops, for the nice dinner at the place she keeps talking about wanting to try. You can tell her over dessert that you appreciate all the things she does for you, big and small (insert that little detail we were talking about earlier), and that you just wanted to give her a day of feeling like your Queen, for all the days she takes care of her King.

She'll. Eat. This. Shit. Up. Then she'll eat up whatever else you want after. Trust.

5) Work hard, Mr. Bond.
Women like to talk, that's all they do really. To their friends, co workers, family. They are supreme social beings, and they crave socialization. This is why they'll hate a bitch and still be besties with them. They can't stand the thought of losing friends. So make sure that her friends/ family/ etc like you. And you do this, by giving her good things to tell them, which in turn you do by being a gentleman with some kind of ethos, and by working hard. Work hard at your job to aspire in your career, work hard with a hobby or a passion, hell work hard at sorting leggos to send to african kids to play with, but pick a goal, and work hard at it. They need a man who aspires to something, but won't compromise his personal creed to do so.

6) Be genuine.
Good luck faking any of what I just said above. Your lady will SMELLL the faker on you, like bad cologne. It will permeate the air and become palpable. Anything you do needs to be with purpose, and sincerity. Observe and watch everything, relish in details. Be ever mindful of your words and actions, and police them rigorously, so the ones heard and seen, are impactful and resonate. Think of yourselves as hunters, marksman, calculating, dialing in, acting in certainty, and cool confidence.

7) Be exciting.
My lady and I try someplace new neither of us has ever been to once every weekend. Try things, get out of your comfort zone once and a while. You'll both be glad you did. Routines are healthy and give us something to count on a plan around, but monotony is deadly. For fucks sake, don't respond with I don't know whatever you want to do or want. I'll ask her what she wants, if she says I don't know what about you, I normally respond with something to the tune of" I'm not really in the mood for anything heavy or greasy tonight, something light sounds good like wraps or maybe sammiches? There's a new deli that opened up down on Normal street, or a great Taco joint everyone has been telling me about, what do you think?" And try and whittle it down from there.

You could say the above is my own personal creed, and most certainly my results. I write this post in the hopes that someone struggling with relationships in this forum reads this, and takes something from it that helps them. I write this post as a thank you. To the community, to whoever has commented on my posts, given advice, or triggered a eureka moment in my pursuit to hone my seduction and relationship management skills. Every relationship I have, has improved because of this community. I hope that I can offer the same to someone who is now where I once was. I can't guarantee the same level of success that I have achieved. If summarizing the equation was as simple as condensing it into a forum post, there would be no need for this site. What I can promise, is that your relationships will have a higher quality to them.


Best,
The Marksman
 

thedude

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 9, 2012
Messages
288
This is some interesting stuff.

Thanks man. I'll work on cunninglingus too... eehhh
 

The Marksman

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 22, 2014
Messages
31
This is some interesting stuff.

Thanks man. I'll work on cunninglingus too... eehhh

Don't be apprehensive about it. Embrace it. Is it necessarily thrilling? Not always, but neither is having some dude skull bang your throat lol. Girls don't exactly love going down on you, but what they do revel in is the power they get knowing what they do to you when they're tongue rolling and pepper grinding down there. Believe me I wasn't ever initially a fan, until I got my face rode and she unleashed a waterfall. Knowing that you have that kind of power with making someone feel that kind of pleasure is a lot more attractive ideal. Knowing that she's about to spread eagle and say some nasty shit while you're down there is more than enough for me to give ten minutes to the cause, especially when after you stop and she gets that wild eyed, turn me over and treat me dirty face. Just a thought.
 

Motiv

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 18, 2013
Messages
211
The Marksman said:
... Believe me I wasn't ever initially a fan, until I got my face rode and she unleashed a waterfall. Knowing that you have that kind of power with making someone feel that kind of pleasure is a lot more attractive ideal. Knowing that she's about to spread eagle and say some nasty shit while you're down there is more than enough for me to give ten minutes to the cause, especially when after you stop and she gets that wild eyed, turn me over and treat me dirty face. Just a thought.

My girlfriend had never let a guy perform cunnilingus on her until I came into her life, and it took several months before I ended up going down on her myself. Ironically it was my first time doing it too, but because I wanted nothing less than to sink my teeth (literally) into every possible way to pleasure my woman, I finally got my face where I wanted after winding her up from an exceptional fingering.

The best part is how it always ends up with her begging me to be inside her and my having the power to continue teasing her senseless with my tongue, only to penetrate her at the moment of my choosing.

This article gave me the groundwork for it:

How to Give a Girl (Amazing) Oral Sex: 4 Simple Steps

@The Marksman
The tale of your relationship brings a flutter to my heart—Pandora's box blown wide open!!!

Cheers,
-MP
 

thedude

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 9, 2012
Messages
288
Ok! I will get to work on it then haha.
 

Motiv

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 18, 2013
Messages
211
The Marksman said:
... She actually does anything I tell her to. She wears what I want when we go out, we eat where I want, watch what I want, fuck how I want, in whatever hole I like (she was VERY against anal and swore it would NEVER happen when we first started sleeping together), she even answers me in yes, sir.

This part of your post epitomizes my new signature, and I firmly stand by you personal anecdote as a perfect example. I do believe every woman deep within fantasizes about being wholly dominated by a man like you, but the key is figuring out how to be that kind of man, which I think you give insight to in the next quote I took from your post...

The Marksman said:
Welcome, Gentleman, to the other side of pick up.

And by the other side, I mean, the point after you bang all your dream ladies, your club seductions, your library bathroom flings, your supermarket random happenstances. The point, where you pick one. It doesn't have to be boring, or consist of fights, or wondering what you did wrong. Hell, it doesn't have to consist of physically seeing each other much either. It, in fact, consists of only a few fundamentals, which I have found to be as follows.

I believe a man has to be well experienced in the art of seduction to pull off what you have in your current relationship. If you don't mind my asking in all seriousness, do you think you could come up with a ballpark figure of your lay count do date? I am trying to draw a relative map for my own progress.

Cheers!
-MP
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

devlish

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Feb 20, 2013
Messages
33
Very informative. Will read this before I start my next relationship ;)
 
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