- Joined
- Apr 24, 2020
- Messages
- 17
Haven’t had a girl do this to me before, so I thought I’d check in with you guys in case this is what women are like now these days and thus she’s not particularly crazy. Funny thing is, I said to my roommate that I was glad she wasn’t as woke as I first thought. But then she sent me this shit…
She is quite cute, 32, thin, white, very long hair. We went out for drinks, we were pretty touchy-feely, ended the date with a good vibe and a tentative second meet for Friday.
===================================================================================
We chatted a bit regarding some pictures taken at the event where we first met. Then this happened:
Her:
Do you want to hear one of my principles? (***I’m thinking she’s gonna talk about her flakey spiritual stuff)
Me:
Yes, tell me one
Her:
I say this with love, this is advice for your future interactions with women (and people in general) . commenting on a woman’s appearance (or a man’s for that matter) with touchy topics may unintentionally offend someone.
For instance, yesterday you commented on the fact that I looked young because I didn’t have “that many” wrinkles for “my age”.
This is a very sensitive topic for many people and it’s best avoided. Because age and appearance really isn’t important. The soul is. And that’s not seen. It’s felt.
[It goes back to my comment about Girl 2. I think I made it clear that she looks more mature than me, but She does not look old. Her energy and spirit convey more responsibility and seriousness.
Youth is more about energy than looks. ]
society has made us all fear age when we shouldn’t. It’s an irrelevant comment to bring up unless you are super close with someone. And you know they won't overthink your words.
Moving on…
Also, you guessed my weight to be 10lbs heavier than I actually am. THEN, when you found out you were incorrect, you proceeded to say, “oh wow, I was being conservative with my guess” lol.
It made me laugh inside because that would NOT go over well with many people. I’m so glad it wasn’t said to someone with body dysmorphia or something. That could seriously psychologically harm someone. Woman or man.
Finally, Today you commented that I looked intoxicated in a photo. when I do not feel that way about any photo. I never analyze my appearance that way. I look at the spirit of the photo itself.
These 3 things I mention do not offend me because I’m very secure with my appearance, but many people have body image issues. So you are treading on thin ice in the grander scheme. I’m just offering perspective. I hope you are not offended by my words. I say with kindness.
Me:
Your perspective on these things come from, as one would expect, a very feminine place. It is a perspective i do not have, and your comments are informative.
Do you have any other principles to share that you feel strongly about?
Her:
Thank you for being open to this information. I appreciate it.
I do not have any pertinent things to say right now, no. But of course I will share other courtesies, etiquette, and principles when I see fit.
I wasn't going to say anything about the age and weight thing until the comment about looking drunk came up. Because I don't like to knit pick. And as I said, I didn't personally feel offended yesterday. But after the drunk comment, it added up enough that I felt it appropriate to encourage awareness of how others can perceive the things you say, in ways you didn't intend.
===================================================================================
Yeah, “One of my principles” lol.
"of course I will share other courtesies, etiquette, and principles when I see fit." Like, is she trying to get me to hate her?
The wording of her message doesn’t really reflect how my comments came across at the time. She’s exaggerating the douchiness to help make her “point”. I took it as a huge shit test, so my reply is to basically say “I’m listening” as a way to change her emotions, not her mind. But even if I had been a total douche, I don’t see how a normal chick would find this to be a measured response. A comment from her at the time the words were spoken would have been more than enough to deal with any issues. My immediate response upon receipt of the message was to get pissed at her for stupidly downgrading herself to FB potential at best. She had seemed pretty cool up to this point but now I think she is at least part wacko.
If you’d find this kind of thing from a girl to be a deal breaker, let me know. Otherwise, I’m up for a learning experience. If we still meet on Friday, what should my approach be? She’s was pretty into me on the date, but maybe I put out too much of a boyfriend vibe?
It seems like she’s trying for a gigantic frame grab, or was trying to get me to argue with her and blow myself out.
She is quite cute, 32, thin, white, very long hair. We went out for drinks, we were pretty touchy-feely, ended the date with a good vibe and a tentative second meet for Friday.
===================================================================================
We chatted a bit regarding some pictures taken at the event where we first met. Then this happened:
Her:
Do you want to hear one of my principles? (***I’m thinking she’s gonna talk about her flakey spiritual stuff)
Me:
Yes, tell me one
Her:
I say this with love, this is advice for your future interactions with women (and people in general) . commenting on a woman’s appearance (or a man’s for that matter) with touchy topics may unintentionally offend someone.
For instance, yesterday you commented on the fact that I looked young because I didn’t have “that many” wrinkles for “my age”.
This is a very sensitive topic for many people and it’s best avoided. Because age and appearance really isn’t important. The soul is. And that’s not seen. It’s felt.
[It goes back to my comment about Girl 2. I think I made it clear that she looks more mature than me, but She does not look old. Her energy and spirit convey more responsibility and seriousness.
Youth is more about energy than looks. ]
society has made us all fear age when we shouldn’t. It’s an irrelevant comment to bring up unless you are super close with someone. And you know they won't overthink your words.
Moving on…
Also, you guessed my weight to be 10lbs heavier than I actually am. THEN, when you found out you were incorrect, you proceeded to say, “oh wow, I was being conservative with my guess” lol.
It made me laugh inside because that would NOT go over well with many people. I’m so glad it wasn’t said to someone with body dysmorphia or something. That could seriously psychologically harm someone. Woman or man.
Finally, Today you commented that I looked intoxicated in a photo. when I do not feel that way about any photo. I never analyze my appearance that way. I look at the spirit of the photo itself.
These 3 things I mention do not offend me because I’m very secure with my appearance, but many people have body image issues. So you are treading on thin ice in the grander scheme. I’m just offering perspective. I hope you are not offended by my words. I say with kindness.
Me:
Your perspective on these things come from, as one would expect, a very feminine place. It is a perspective i do not have, and your comments are informative.
Do you have any other principles to share that you feel strongly about?
Her:
Thank you for being open to this information. I appreciate it.
I do not have any pertinent things to say right now, no. But of course I will share other courtesies, etiquette, and principles when I see fit.
I wasn't going to say anything about the age and weight thing until the comment about looking drunk came up. Because I don't like to knit pick. And as I said, I didn't personally feel offended yesterday. But after the drunk comment, it added up enough that I felt it appropriate to encourage awareness of how others can perceive the things you say, in ways you didn't intend.
===================================================================================
Yeah, “One of my principles” lol.
"of course I will share other courtesies, etiquette, and principles when I see fit." Like, is she trying to get me to hate her?
The wording of her message doesn’t really reflect how my comments came across at the time. She’s exaggerating the douchiness to help make her “point”. I took it as a huge shit test, so my reply is to basically say “I’m listening” as a way to change her emotions, not her mind. But even if I had been a total douche, I don’t see how a normal chick would find this to be a measured response. A comment from her at the time the words were spoken would have been more than enough to deal with any issues. My immediate response upon receipt of the message was to get pissed at her for stupidly downgrading herself to FB potential at best. She had seemed pretty cool up to this point but now I think she is at least part wacko.
If you’d find this kind of thing from a girl to be a deal breaker, let me know. Otherwise, I’m up for a learning experience. If we still meet on Friday, what should my approach be? She’s was pretty into me on the date, but maybe I put out too much of a boyfriend vibe?
It seems like she’s trying for a gigantic frame grab, or was trying to get me to argue with her and blow myself out.
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/default-vw-health-5a78863fa9d4f90036f2e9c1.png)
