FR Went out alone, made a bunch of mistakes

[13829938]

first of all, i want to say that I have a LR to write up. My last FR was basically describing me fucking up, and this one will too. So, at least there was a success in the middle haha.

I basically know what I did wrong here, to some degree. But I would really love your guys insight beyond anything I'm thinking of.

So I have had some momentum lately. And I'm making sure to take every opportunity I can to further it. So I went out alone tonight. I went to some of the nicer clubs. I dressed up in a purple button down short sleeves. Black skinny jeans from hugo boss. Gucci belt. Some bracelets and necklace. Designer cologne. I have my look down pretty well.

I was feeling confident. Lately I've really accepted the fact that I do so much better alone. So suddenly, it's not that I'm going out alone because I have to... it's because I want to. I also admit to myself that I am going out to get laid. I realized all the outcome independence bullshit just makes me give up opportunities. The truth is I'm going out to get laid, and if I bring back a girl, i will blow her mind.

So I go to a trendy club. There are always a lot of hot girls here. And especially the hot bad bitch asians. I got there and walked towards the bar. I stood next to some really cute girls. I was dancing and feeling the vibe. Everyone around me started dancing. I flirted with the girls and told them to hurry up and order. Then I ended up ordering and got my drink before they did, even though they were waiting in line for a lot longer. So I teased them about that as well.

I got my drink and didn't want to just take up space in the bar. So this is where I have a sticking point going out alone. I do fine when I feel like I am inconspicuous and just taking my shots as they come. But sometimes I don't know where to go. I may find myself the center of attention when I don't want to be. Or standing in an obvious spot. I've read Alek's guide on disappearing in a club. Idk why, I just find myself stuck in obvious spots a lot. And then I get in my head because i feel like people are noticing me just being alone and not doing shit. So if you guys have any advice on what to do when I'm not in a set that's going well, I'd appreciate it.

Anyway, I find myself in an awkward spot. But I power through it. And I start dancing. And then before I know it, I'm talking to a blonde. I am flirting with her and it's going well. Eventually it kinda hooks. In that we are both talking to eachother and it's going well. At the same time, I do feel like at any minute it could end. As I'm talking to her, another girl with curly hair comes up. She looks kinda irish. She has one of those bodies that is genuinely curvy or thick. Not fat, but just voluptuous, popping out in all the right places. I start talking to her and there's a ton of chemistry. At a certain point the blonde I was originally talking to left with her friend. So I was just with the curly haired girl and her friend.

They say they are going to the dance floor and ask me if I want to join. Of course I do. So I go with them and start dancing. A sexy song comes on and this super hot asian girl starts twerking. so suddenly the whole dance floor starts going hard. I'm a pretty good dancer. I don't really do any "moves" but I'm really good at locking in the vibe of the song and giving girls the space to dance. So as the song gets sexier the girl comes closer to me and I pull her in. She grinds her ass on me and it's one of those fucking amazing grinding sessions. My dick is hard instantly and we're perfectly in lock.

But her friend is hovering around. She tells me her friend is lesbian. So internally, I realize that I need to get her on my side. But... that's as far as I took it. Unfortunately I continued dancing with the curly haired girl. As the tension rose between us her friend felt more isolated. Then the curly haired girl went to the bathroom, leaving me and the lesbian alone. I dunno, I should've done something drastic here to build comfort. But I didn't. So ultimately the lesbian went to find her friend in the bathroom. I realized I had fucked up. I found myself awkwardly alone again.

I tried talking to other girls but my state was fucked. i had a bad vibe and got rejected. So my vibe tanked. The curly haired girl was back but the vibe was different. They were avoiding me. I knew I fucked up but I tried again. But again they avoided me. I felt negative so I just left the club.

It's almost closing time, so I was able to get into another high end bar for free. I gather myself a little and regain some confidence. I start dancing and vibing to the music, which was much sexier here. 3 different sets of VERY HOT girls came up to me and hovered. I knew they wanted me to talk to them. This is another major sticking part of my game.

I have noticed a LOT of hot girls hovering around me. But I've also noticed they barely give me a chance. If I so much as blink the wrong way, they're gone instantly! It's like they make it very obvious to me they're interested for ONE SECOND. If I dont act perfectly in that second, it's over for good. With girls who are on my level, or maybe below, they give me a lot more chances. I got uncomfortable in each of these three interactions, and nothing ended up happening. But I really felt like I was THERE. Like I met their threshold and they actually wanted me to be the kind of guy who would take them home. I wasn't. I don't have that experience yet. But hopefully you guys will give me some tips.

So, it's hard to say how this night went. I grinding a lot with the girl and it was super sexy... so I am fighting off blue balls. On the other hand, I went out and got some experience. I have already learned a lot from the failure. I am going to my friend's rap show tomorrow, where i will be with a lot of cool people. So, I will try again...

 

[Fuck This]

So that is why you develop rapport with other people at the bar before you meet the women you want to isolate. Get her friends talking to your new friends. Most women will not cock block their friends if their friend is having a good time, as long as they are having a good time.

Some venues don't allow for that conversation. Those are the places you need to get out side to where you can develop that trust and rapport. OOOORRR bring the whole group to a venue change. All night diners work good (it is also better lighting to see through your beer goggles in the dance club). I had a group of 3 girls who I actually engaged in the diner for the first time that met our group in the bar. They followed us to our dodgy campsite. One buddy and I had our girls isolated and headed to the rack when one found herself isolated alone while we were paired up and she wrecked our plans....

Another had friends she was out with that I never knew about. Once she kissed me at the bar they swept in and scooped her up. I had her phone number though but was leaving town the next day...

Remember, Win over the friends and they will practically offer her on a platter to you...

One group asked me to dance with their friend who was rebounding from a breakup. Ended up having a month long sexual relationship with her before meeting the woman who would become my wife for 20 years.

 

[13829938]

Yeah... I definitely needed to make her friend happy as my top priority. Honestly very quickly the girl i wanted was hooked. If I had spent all my effort making her friend have a blast it would've paid off huge.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

. But sometimes I don't know where to go. I may find myself the center of attention when I don't want to be. Or standing in an obvious spot. I've read Alek's guide on disappearing in a club. Idk why, I just find myself stuck in obvious spots a lot. And then I get in my head because i feel like people are noticing me just being alone and not doing shit. So if you guys have any advice on what to do when I'm not in a set that's going well, I'd appreciate it.

I'll tell you what I saw from two of the best naturals I've ever met. One guy with an alleged 1,000+ lay count and the other guy I personally know banged 10's on the regular (and i mean supermodel girls).

What do they do at the club?

One, he goes alone. And he just fucking STANDS there. Yes, it helps that he looks like an NFL player, and is good looking, but he will just fucking stand there. He will ignore EVERYONE and stare at the ceiling. Yes, people will look. They'll get curious and look at him. He won't look back. The ONLY time he directly opens, is when there is a perfect opportunity (she's staring or she walks by him).

The 1,000 lay count guy (let's call him Q), will be like "hey you, come here" and give her the "come hither" finger. He'll be loud and dominant, too. One shot, one kill. Puts it all in there. But other than that, no action.

The other guy, let's call him B, he is also tall (but not buff), and Puerto Rican/Italian, and stupidly good looking...but, it's his vibe. Man, his vibe is NEXT level. He will give girls googly eyes and smile at them and his most high effort open is a light tap on the small of her back. If she doesn't bite, nobody even saw.


But where do they both stand? Anywhere they want. Even in a high traffic area. They don't give a fuck. They hold their ground.

I adopted this. I'm super high energy so I'll be out and about but if I do choose to stand, i'll be there hella alone and staring up the ceiling or the sky.

When you're standing alone, focus on your fundamentals. Keep your face calm. Keep your eyes sharp but relaxed. Arms down at your side. Don't put your drink in front of your chest. Let it hang by your fingers by your side. People will eventually "accept" your presence and even admire it. You don't give a flying fuck if you're alone. I rarely go out alone anymore but during the night, friend groups get scattered and you end up alone for 30 minutes or something, so when that happens I either approach or become a sexy ass statue.

I have noticed a LOT of hot girls hovering around me. But I've also noticed they barely give me a chance. If I so much as blink the wrong way, they're gone instantly! It's like they make it very obvious to me they're interested for ONE SECOND

Well, only one way to find out. Start being more rapid with your responses. If you're out alone, they're semi-curious but also semi-concerned about you. You could either be a SUPER cool guy who goes out alone, or a complete creeper. That small window is them fishing. Bite. Fast. Also, if you at least even talk to them A LITTLE, everyone else will assume ur cool cuz you just macked on 3 hotties.


Overall, you need to just accept that you're out alone. Idk what mental models you need to make as a mantra, but if you focus on your fundamentals and show that you're calm, your mind will usually follow.

Hector

 

[13829938]

Thanks man, insightful as always. I definitely get in my head a lot about how things "should" be. I shouldn't be standing alone in the middle of the club. Well... why the fuck not. I think those stories will help me feel 0 anxiety about just chilling. And I'll work on opening up hotties right away