OR went out saturday night into the city- some observations

[archimedes]

This is kind of a lame field report not much happened but it is a field report- and a report on the field. First of all i'm working on my being. i always have been, and i'm working on my speaking and engaging and doing. That's 2 of 3. It is critical that i work on my going- knowing where to go, to get what i want. Go and Grow Rich. Go and Get Love. There is something to be said for just being in the right place at the right time, and that need not be an accident. There is the proximity effect etc. From my experience, that seems very real to me.

Anyway here in gay town (I'm not homophobic I don't care if men love men or women love women-- but there are a lot of gay bars around where i went) I realize i don't know where to go- to find what i'm looking for. I go to ballroom but it's mostly old people and maybe a few younger people in relationships. I go to other clubs an i'm working on that but bottom line i haven't found RICH environments. I want RICH environments to make things easier for this 40 something in his prime.

So yesterday (Saturday) night i decided to go out to the city. I mean i kind of moved here to make money and date and have fun at night and during the day- and that latter goal stagnated in a way, so now's the time on a warm late spring day. I took a lyft a few miles to the club district not too far from my house. It was 1130pm. I ended up walking back, the 45 minute walk through the city and some parks. I liked the walk. Anyway this is not so much a report of me in the field as it is of the field- so technically a "field" report lol. I wanted to get your take.

I was feeling full of energy and wanted something dionysian. I love whatever music it is called that one can dance and vibe to, EDM, techno, trance, party music, whatever- i'm pretty flexible but i just want a positive beat and so on, so pre-game i searched around online. I should probably have a better sense of the local scene, but anyway i found this club, so I decided to go there. I want something popular, with young people, with the right music. Anyway left at 11:30, got dropped off. There was a long line of young people to get in. I didn't like the music though- rough and the status type but i'd have still gone in, bu the line was really long. i walked around and checked out the scene, which was interesting enough for observation, and just kind of meandered. I wasn't particular attracted to any of the women in line, until i saw this blonde, near the front with her girlfriends, while i was on the other side of the barrier. i wasn't going to try talk to her or anything because i didn't see a pathway to success of any kind but we shared a connection i know was meaningful. She was my type, and I realize after she was my type because she was my kind.. and i realize how rare finding that has become or how that can't be assumed

I really wanted to post this because i wanted to make some points, some observations- not to rant or moralize but to observe:

1. I realized before i left, how, like anything, music can be about release (dionysian and fun) but can also be about status, performativity and theater, flexing and dick measuring. That's what I experienced in my early adulthood, when i was first exposed to the club scene, which kind of low key pushed me back or shocked me.

So SOOOO much is about performance and status, especially here- even nights out that are supposed to be fun (one would think). it feels like that is yet another control- system of an oppressed and occupied people. That's how i feel about our culture. I feel increasingly free and increasingly clear but increasingly alone in clarity. I assume most people get stressed from work and their week and finances and everything and they want to go out and have fun but they just get more illusion, more games, more status competitions etc- like they also get games i think, and challenges and challenge energy from therapy or coaching or whatever, and not truly empowering validation. Anyway for this i just want the fun stuff-- dancing no ego, but it doesn't seem to exist much here or i haven't found it. on the walk back i heard more of that music at this rooftop place but there was hardly anyone up there.

2. the "game" is the same wherever you are. Around the noise and stress and so on, it's still boy and girl- protect and contain her. The blonde girl wanted (intrinsically) to feel my strength and be able to lean on me and feel safe by me- while also of course having fun and being teased and stuff-- but the environment can't be allowed to get in the way. A man must be bigger, stronger and smarter than it- and i kind of felt like that- in a way- like it didn't suck me but i could float and observe it nonchalantly- at least yesterday. The environment mods things but doesn't really change core game- just has a different layout.

3. This was not new to me but i finally started thinking on the fact that: There are so many fucking police cars and vehicles, with their lights permanently going parked in these party districts on friday and saturday nights. Is this normal? This also seems like part of our culture's theater, a systemic sociological thing- maybe an expression of our empire. Maybe that's why we do status game music- because the empire requires it. I don't know i'm just speculating. I get it, that there's danger, risk, stress, activity, wildness in these environments, and yet i don't see them elsewhere, in other cities. What's it like in other american cities? I don't think they have so many police cars- right in your face. It doesn't seem universal. It seems like normalized disfunction. i don't think it affects my game, but i couldn't help thinking about it as a symptom or symbol or something. I have done well financially here and well in other ways but i don't think i spiritually belong here- and as i walked home i was not sad about my results but i'm sad about the years i might have wasted and am still wasting. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THESE POLICE. THEY DON'T BOTHER ME EXCEPT SYMBOLICALLY BUT I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT WHY THEY ARE HERE AND NOT IN OTHER PLACES AND WHAT THEY DO TO THE VIBE.

4. i still need a venue, or places to go to meet. i can't meet women and get love and sex if i don't go where they are, wherever that is, and this one thing is a struggle. think and grow rich. there's actually truth in that if you build a logical chain. think, and learn to make better decisions. make those decisions and take those actions, close those deals, become rich. think and get love- vis a vis going to the right places. i am trying to think about where to go and where to simply be-- and it is a fucking struggle. everything seems internet now it seems like. i have met great people here and there randomly like at work. i had an awesome hot co-worker when i started my current job but and i think she liked me. we were very close-- at work at least but it was strong-- but i didn't make a move for reasons. i regret that.. whatever but i meet random women in random places occasionally but it's rare. i think i have to go to church. i think that's the only place with volume of quality in a way but it feels a little twisted. it doesn't feel immoral if i do it right but it's fucked up that's the only place i feel i have to go for any quantity with quality. I found there is this ecstatic dance and that could be fun and it's sundays but not the first sunday of the month so i couldn't go today. it might be lame anyway but i'll check it out. Now I got all my thoughts out there on record. Comments most welcome.

Thanks heroes

 

[average_daygamer]

This is one hell of an incoherent rant, but fair enough.

As for the police being there, they are there as a deterrent, to stop creeps hanging around looking for drunk girls to take home.

As for your other question about where to find young people, other than approaching them on the street on their way to venues (low probability of success) or outside venues (pretty dangerous as thugs inside the venue will challenge you) the best place is in the club.

But depending on how feminist the culture is, you may get challenged being in your 40s approaching 20 year old girls. See my field report for details, although I am 35 at the moment, but will soon be 40.

From what I have read, America is a bit more open minded to this sort of thing though, so you might be ok.

 

[OldGuy]

If you tell us which city you are in, someone may be able to tell you good locations.

 

[Skills]

you went out and the police cars bother you..... Police are there due to at times fights, accidents (people too drunk or falling at times), drunk driving etc....

is a good thing not a bad thing... (a lot of them paid by club owners as well)

 

[archimedes]

As for the police being there, they are there as a deterrent, to stop creeps hanging around looking for drunk girls to take home.

you went out and the police cars bother you..... Police are there due to at times fights, accidents (people too drunk or falling at times), drunk driving etc....

Let me clarify about the police. I am not bothered by them- at least not in an immediate way. they don't jam my works and i know they are possibly necessary to prevent crime. I have known about them but i am just zooming out and reflecting. I don't remember seeing them in Europe and other high party venues, and i don't even remember seeing them like this in other cities in the US, which is knew. I am not bothered AND i knew about them but just now i decided to think about them, sociologically and so on, and question reality, and question necessity. That's the only place i'm coming from. it's a reflection of a broken system, in a way.. and maybe they're a bit performative.

Why is our society so fucked up as to need police? I am not like DeNiro in Taxi Driver where i see decay everywhere, and react to it morally. it's whatever. things will survive. Live and enjoy, but i am thinking like maybe a french sociologist zoomed out way or whatever.

Anyway i want/need two things- related but definitely different: a place where i can go to dance and have fun-- good dancing, Dionysian-- let go without the ego and status jockeying AND a place to meet and connect with high calibre women..

Would be ideal.

And hate wasting time since i'm in my 40s.

ps: Realized there are two main modes of game - performative and/or presence. I've been more presence focused than performance but i realize you need both in the world. I want to be a man of presence, who can do the performances necessary but this place doesn't value deep presence as much and for performance it loves "moral" performativity (I'm a good guy, i'm for justice etc)- saying the lines, being meek as a man etc.. but attraction is still attraction if you can be alpha whatever. that's just what i'm working through

 

[average_daygamer]

Let me clarify about the police. I am not bothered by them- at least not in an immediate way. they don't jam my works and i know they are possibly necessary to prevent crime. I have known about them but i am just zooming out and reflecting. I don't remember seeing them in Europe and other high party venues, and i don't even remember seeing them like this in other cities in the US, which is knew. I am not bothered AND i knew about them but just now i decided to think about them, sociologically and so on, and question reality, and question necessity. That's the only place i'm coming from. it's a reflection of a broken system, in a way.. and maybe they're a bit performative.

Why is our society so fucked up as to need police? I am not like DeNiro in Taxi Driver where i see decay everywhere, and react to it morally. it's whatever. things will survive. Live and enjoy, but i am thinking like maybe a french sociologist zoomed out way or whatever.

Anyway i want/need two things- related but definitely different: a place where i can go to dance and have fun-- good dancing, Dionysian-- let go without the ego and status jockeying AND a place to meet and connect with high calibre women..

Would be ideal.

And hate wasting time since i'm in my 40s.

ps: Realized there are two main modes of game - performative and/or presence. I've been more presence focused than performance but i realize you need both in the world. I want to be a man of presence, who can do the performances necessary but this place doesn't value deep presence as much and for performance it loves "moral" performativity (I'm a good guy, i'm for justice etc)- saying the lines, being meek as a man etc.. but attraction is still attraction if you can be alpha whatever. that's just what i'm working through

Well that's interesting.

Every town with nighttime venues in the UK has police patrolling around in the high street and outside venues to deter troublemakers and creeps.

I can't imagine other European countries not having the same thing. Maybe Europeans are well behaved?

Actually, scratch that, when holidaying in Amsterdam I saw police patrolling around as well.

So I'm not sure which European countries you didn't observe them in.

I am also referring to foot patrols specifically aimed at the night time economy, not general patrols.

Anyway, I've got to say, your posts are quite confusing, no offense meant.

But yes, I get what you mean about not wanting to waste time.

Unfortunately it seems to come with the territory in nightgame.

I often wonder to myself what I am doing after the umpteenth set of rowdy drunk intimidating people have walked by whom I find disturbing.

But we don't want to go quietly into the good night without ever having pushed ourselves to the max!

 

[archimedes]

Well that's interesting.

Every town with nighttime venues in the UK has police patrolling around in the high street and outside venues to deter troublemakers and creeps.

I can't imagine other European countries not having the same thing. Maybe Europeans are well behaved?

Actually, scratch that, when holidaying in Amsterdam I saw police patrolling around as well.

So I'm not sure which European countries you didn't observe them in.

I am also referring to foot patrols specifically aimed at the night time economy, not general patrols.

Anyway, I've got to say, your posts are quite confusing, no offense meant.

But yes, I get what you mean about not wanting to waste time.

Unfortunately it seems to come with the territory in nightgame.

I often wonder to myself what I am doing after the umpteenth set of rowdy drunk intimidating people have walked by whom I find disturbing.

But we don't want to go quietly into the good night without ever having pushed ourselves to the max!

thanks cool man. yeah i am really not menaced by them but i see them as a symptom of the times but also i think the place. I would say in a 10 square block here--- there are maybe 3 per block, parked lights going. that's a very rough estimate. I am not intimidated but you combine that with the fact that no clubs i find are really.... fun dancing clubs... let me explain because i think this is important.

I want to meet women and connect, hook up, score, whatever. i want that. i own that desire. i want to be better at that.

BUT ALSO I work a week- and though my job is pretty good and i'm doing alright, i also want to release, dance and have fun.

Now it seems that that is not allowed- by lacking existential venue (that i have found- and granted i have not tried very hard but that seems to be the public default- non existence)

So with that- dionysian dancing or whatever you call it- you don't have to win. it is not about status. you might not get a girl. you are not worried about the girl. heaven forbid you just want to have fun. heaven forbid everything is either not a game heavy chase OR getting drunk with your friends and nuimbing your emotions of the week.

So therefore I see this system and society is perverted in that...
- presumably, people's work week is full of stress, more for some less for others (and me significantly less because i get paid pretty well working from home at a job i enjoy and i'm not watched)
- there are two outlets that should exist for people- for men: weekend nightlife and counselling/therapy.
-- i am not a huge believer in therapy for men. as an ideal maybe yes. Maybe like the Asclepieions- they were apparantly amazing places in ancient greece- holistic centers where they prepared you with herbs and so on and then you slept and dreamt but whatever.. i am not a huge believer in modern therapy for men in practice if not in theory, BUT IN THE SAME THEORY- they should be a place for empowerment and so on, BUT

BOTH THESE THINGS JUST SEEM TO BE MORE OF THE SAME CONTROL.
1. the night scenes are again about status jockying
2. therapy is more about challenge and less about validation (but also dating coaching!!)*

*i have a theory on validation for men based on some experience with it- my experience made me high and made me feel like a king. The idea is men often know what to do but they lack an emotional/esteem reservoir for lack of better words. They are so used to getting challenged, advised etc- they are never told they're amazing and to trust themselves, so their brains kind of... flop for lack of a better word. Women OTOH are constantly receiving validation and encouragement and so on.

BOTH, THERERFORE OF THESE OUTLETS, WHICH SHOULD BE EMPOWERING FOR MEN, AND WHICH MEN PAY FOR- NIGHTCLUB ENTRANCE FEES AND COACHING/COUNSELLING/THERAPY FEES become systems of challenge where they are the one place that should be liberating.

Unless one is smart and knows how to shop and find.
And many men end up accepting the reality and frame they are given, including after they made a college try.

Because the system- holistically, was not designed to install sovereignty! (It seems). By holistically i mean systemically by which i mean even these two 'outlets' are closed.

All they need to do is have
1. better dance scenes
2. coaching and therapy that is more affirmative and less 'challenging' as if men are so weak they need constant challenge. All of life is challenging already - relationships. And my theory is that napoleon and others would not stand for this crap, they would block it out-- AND that helped them have demigod frame.

that's just a theory but what if you went a year with no tolerated criticism from anyone or even positive challenge. Would you get dull from not having iron sharpen iron and get deluded or would you get strong and powerful like never before and become a force of nature. I think it's closer to the latter but also if this happens over too many decades- it can make world leaders deluded and make them do epic fails like in war- but it's also what got them there in the first place. that's my position kind of.

--
I am trying to read fields, and find my place in one.
i am good at navigating fields-- but i am not good at extracting from them
-- because they are tough or cold-- especially cold here emotionally in this city, which is known for it
-- because i lack enough social capital--
-- because i lack game perhaps
-- but even failing at game it would be nice to have a fun place to dance and release. maybe they exist but i haven't found them but on the streets i see this testosterone energy but not even testosterone but frustrated testosterone energy. it is not the energy of successful testosterone. and i get it but in continental europe i remember having more fun. but yeah is what it is.

i still need to find places to go. that's the biggest thing for now- just finding the best fishing spots and getting social capital there