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- Oct 23, 2013
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I got the inspiration to write about this… idk just because I’d been thinking about it a bit lately (quickly typed it up right now). So Chase had an article about this here: https://www.girlschase.com/content/love-first-sight
But what is love at first sight… does it really exist? Have you ever experienced it before… and what would it take to find it?
My one experience of love at first sight
I may have had this possibly with other girls, but this girl was the only one that it was for sure with (we had talked about it too)
It was a little over 5 years ago.
I wasn’t particularly good with women then… I always gravitated towards wanting many girls even back at that time and before then (since early elementary school); my strategy had used to be to always find the prettiest girl in class and get a seat next to her and become friends with her and fool around and maybe get to something more with her (not too different from the average guy, but I was taking initiative to find these girls in the first place and there would always be multiple girls like this who knew me and who you’d see me around).
I was 15 years old…
First day of school, 2nd period English, I went and sat down.
The girl behind me was my friend… she was a pretty blond polish girl and I liked her. We were talking and goofing around as the class walked in and got settled.
A girl walked in right then who was exquisitely beautiful, transcendentally beautiful … not because of hotness though, sort of something else…
She was a few inches shorter than me, and with light white skin like snow white and straight dark chestnut hair that fell down to the small of her back. We were only 15 but her breasts were large and despite her dressing fashionably but modestly I couldn’t help but notice them. She was mesmerizing to look at, and I was just a kid; had never experienced something like this before … she sat in the very corner… for only a week!
After that, this girl had to switch classes and left my class (and I was upset because that fucked up my game strategy right there).
I was popular somewhat during this phase in school and a lot of people knew me just as a funny outgoing gregarious guy (didn’t become introverted until later years). I happened to talk to other people about liking her and thinking she was hot… and they would talk about maybe talking to her for me, but I was totally nervous and a pussy and never talked to her myself ever.
I would muster up the courage and tell myself that this time it would be different (she would be in a crowd with her friends and I’d smile and be ready and walk that way… and then walk past and tell myself in my head “you pussy!!!”).
A whole year went by like this, occasionally we would see each other and meet eyes and it would linger (there was really some mutual something pulling us towards each other… some sort of attraction beyond just physical or logical means). But I went the whole year without making a move.
Later on in a future year, there was a chance occurrence and me and the girl were put together into the same class… I was happy then and my game was a little better then.
I knew not to be so much of a pussy and to go talk to her.
I did talk to her and spend time with her and it was amazing… but just uncanny how drawn to each other we were. We had many things in common and could really talk about anything under the sun. That year went by too though without anything happening between us. We would plan to go out and she would be eager but busy…and I was the typical nice guy… well almost…
I knew the typical nice guy was a loser and that I had to be different; I would try to be unique and funny and tell all these stories and jokes… that year even more than before, I became that funny guy. And I was a funny guy with her too, trying to make her laugh and impress her … all when she was more into the simpler me that was just me and not a flashy mess.
She moved away after college and I’ve never seen her again since. It’s not really relevant whether I do see her again or not because I know that there are other love-at-first-sight girls out there for me just as ideal or perhaps even more so than her … it’s getting out there and sleeping with girls, and eventually finding one like this that really matters.
What it feels like
I’m sort of convinced that you can really only feel it in person when you are next to each other and catch each other’s presence… and when that condition is met, it is eerily magical.
When you see her, you’re drawn to her… and here’s the thing is that it’s completely irrational in that yeah she’s fucking hot…. But there are girls that if you were to look at objectively following strict textbook guidelines or something, they would be just as hot or even hotter… so what it is it then? You see her but it’s not just that you find her attractive, it’s that you’re drawn to each othe andr you feel a strong magnetic pull towards her (and it’s emotion based, coming from a feeling within you).
If you're far away you can see her and find wow she’s attractive, but it’s when you near each other that the jaw-dropping, enchanting magnetism of it all is felt (when together and talking to each other).
You become like magnets that aren’t satisfied until pulled toward each other and then cling to one another feeling ever satisfied at that moment, to keep clinging on and never let go.
When you see each other (as Chase says) you share a simultaneous wow moment and it doesn’t really go away either it lingers and lasts…. You see each other and your jaw sort of drops and you think “holy fuck I’ve found this other person, and it’s like finding someone that you had been searching for since forever but never known you had been searching for them in the first place”.
You can mistakes a ton of mistakes and even then it remains (with my girl even after a year of trying to take her on an adventure date of her life that wouldn’t conflict with her two jobs and class and school clubs … she would be eager at the possibility and at the opportunity… but I fucked up in too many ways then that I recognize now).
You can stare at each other and just not cease to be amazed at how drawn to the other person you are (and again it’s not really looks, she will look perfect to you but irrationally perfect … there have been women at the gym I’ve seen who look hotter and are “more perfect” technically but they don’t have this completely illogical visceral attraction based perfection that this girl just seemed to have).
And from the girl’s end: I was unbelievably unattractive at this phase in high school… I weighed all of 120 lbs at like 5’7 height and was super dark and unhealthy and kind of an ass hole but played the role of funny guy and not smooth or sexy… and she was smitten and turned on and incredibly into me despite all of that (again completely illogically).
Telling the fake from the real thing
Once you experience it once, you sort of want to experience it again … and you’ll tell yourself that other girls have it when you meet them… when you see them you’ll try to convince yourself you feel it again.
How to tell the fake from the real thing? For one, if it’s real, it’ll happen right from the beginning; two, you won’t be able to get over it or have the feeling go away, it will remain there all while you’re together and you’ll constantly feel it as you are just next to each other, all while you talk it will be there and you’ll feel it like a mutual combining energy of sort… it will excite you and kind of electrify you.
You sort of won’t ever grow old of each other or tired of each other… I hesitate to say this, but I think I’d be willing to bet that the attraction doesn’t die with a love at first sight girl… at least not in the same fashion it does with other girls in general.
Why it can be frustrating for the rationalist
This whole phenomenon can be a little irksome for the rationalist because… well… it’s not a rational tangible sort of happening at all. What happens is sort of magical and not really explainable in a practical manner.
If you can accept that and be at peace with that, well then you can openly embrace the experience if you ever get the chance to.
Finding it isn’t the win, being able to capitalize on it is
Being able to capitalize on the opportunity is the win. That means moving fast, skipping steps, and getting your fundamentals and process down cold.
Otherwise you end up in a situation like I had been in high school where it’s there and it’s wonderful and enchanting… but you can’t do a single freaking thing about it, and can only sort of take blind shots at it like nice guys do with any other girls.
How to find it yourself
You can find your love at first sight girl by approaching a ton and trying to approach your type of woman (this means figuring out what type of girl you like in the first place).
Know in detail the type you want and then, find where you might find the type of woman you like and try to meet more girls of that type.
I don’t know what the odds of a love at first sight encounter would be. Chase has had this with several girls, but he’s approached 1000’s of women also… wouldn’t know what the statistics of it would be at all, I just know that it would take a lot of approaches and a lot of consistency and solid technique.
It’s a magical thing if you do experience it; and if you do, you’ll want that sort of girl and nothing less than that, for a long term relationship.
Here’s to hoping you find your unicorn, love-at-first-sight girl,
-Gem
But what is love at first sight… does it really exist? Have you ever experienced it before… and what would it take to find it?
My one experience of love at first sight
I may have had this possibly with other girls, but this girl was the only one that it was for sure with (we had talked about it too)
It was a little over 5 years ago.
I wasn’t particularly good with women then… I always gravitated towards wanting many girls even back at that time and before then (since early elementary school); my strategy had used to be to always find the prettiest girl in class and get a seat next to her and become friends with her and fool around and maybe get to something more with her (not too different from the average guy, but I was taking initiative to find these girls in the first place and there would always be multiple girls like this who knew me and who you’d see me around).
I was 15 years old…
First day of school, 2nd period English, I went and sat down.
The girl behind me was my friend… she was a pretty blond polish girl and I liked her. We were talking and goofing around as the class walked in and got settled.
A girl walked in right then who was exquisitely beautiful, transcendentally beautiful … not because of hotness though, sort of something else…
She was a few inches shorter than me, and with light white skin like snow white and straight dark chestnut hair that fell down to the small of her back. We were only 15 but her breasts were large and despite her dressing fashionably but modestly I couldn’t help but notice them. She was mesmerizing to look at, and I was just a kid; had never experienced something like this before … she sat in the very corner… for only a week!
After that, this girl had to switch classes and left my class (and I was upset because that fucked up my game strategy right there).
I was popular somewhat during this phase in school and a lot of people knew me just as a funny outgoing gregarious guy (didn’t become introverted until later years). I happened to talk to other people about liking her and thinking she was hot… and they would talk about maybe talking to her for me, but I was totally nervous and a pussy and never talked to her myself ever.
I would muster up the courage and tell myself that this time it would be different (she would be in a crowd with her friends and I’d smile and be ready and walk that way… and then walk past and tell myself in my head “you pussy!!!”).
A whole year went by like this, occasionally we would see each other and meet eyes and it would linger (there was really some mutual something pulling us towards each other… some sort of attraction beyond just physical or logical means). But I went the whole year without making a move.
Later on in a future year, there was a chance occurrence and me and the girl were put together into the same class… I was happy then and my game was a little better then.
I knew not to be so much of a pussy and to go talk to her.
I did talk to her and spend time with her and it was amazing… but just uncanny how drawn to each other we were. We had many things in common and could really talk about anything under the sun. That year went by too though without anything happening between us. We would plan to go out and she would be eager but busy…and I was the typical nice guy… well almost…
I knew the typical nice guy was a loser and that I had to be different; I would try to be unique and funny and tell all these stories and jokes… that year even more than before, I became that funny guy. And I was a funny guy with her too, trying to make her laugh and impress her … all when she was more into the simpler me that was just me and not a flashy mess.
She moved away after college and I’ve never seen her again since. It’s not really relevant whether I do see her again or not because I know that there are other love-at-first-sight girls out there for me just as ideal or perhaps even more so than her … it’s getting out there and sleeping with girls, and eventually finding one like this that really matters.
What it feels like
I’m sort of convinced that you can really only feel it in person when you are next to each other and catch each other’s presence… and when that condition is met, it is eerily magical.
When you see her, you’re drawn to her… and here’s the thing is that it’s completely irrational in that yeah she’s fucking hot…. But there are girls that if you were to look at objectively following strict textbook guidelines or something, they would be just as hot or even hotter… so what it is it then? You see her but it’s not just that you find her attractive, it’s that you’re drawn to each othe andr you feel a strong magnetic pull towards her (and it’s emotion based, coming from a feeling within you).
If you're far away you can see her and find wow she’s attractive, but it’s when you near each other that the jaw-dropping, enchanting magnetism of it all is felt (when together and talking to each other).
You become like magnets that aren’t satisfied until pulled toward each other and then cling to one another feeling ever satisfied at that moment, to keep clinging on and never let go.
When you see each other (as Chase says) you share a simultaneous wow moment and it doesn’t really go away either it lingers and lasts…. You see each other and your jaw sort of drops and you think “holy fuck I’ve found this other person, and it’s like finding someone that you had been searching for since forever but never known you had been searching for them in the first place”.
You can mistakes a ton of mistakes and even then it remains (with my girl even after a year of trying to take her on an adventure date of her life that wouldn’t conflict with her two jobs and class and school clubs … she would be eager at the possibility and at the opportunity… but I fucked up in too many ways then that I recognize now).
You can stare at each other and just not cease to be amazed at how drawn to the other person you are (and again it’s not really looks, she will look perfect to you but irrationally perfect … there have been women at the gym I’ve seen who look hotter and are “more perfect” technically but they don’t have this completely illogical visceral attraction based perfection that this girl just seemed to have).
And from the girl’s end: I was unbelievably unattractive at this phase in high school… I weighed all of 120 lbs at like 5’7 height and was super dark and unhealthy and kind of an ass hole but played the role of funny guy and not smooth or sexy… and she was smitten and turned on and incredibly into me despite all of that (again completely illogically).
Telling the fake from the real thing
Once you experience it once, you sort of want to experience it again … and you’ll tell yourself that other girls have it when you meet them… when you see them you’ll try to convince yourself you feel it again.
How to tell the fake from the real thing? For one, if it’s real, it’ll happen right from the beginning; two, you won’t be able to get over it or have the feeling go away, it will remain there all while you’re together and you’ll constantly feel it as you are just next to each other, all while you talk it will be there and you’ll feel it like a mutual combining energy of sort… it will excite you and kind of electrify you.
You sort of won’t ever grow old of each other or tired of each other… I hesitate to say this, but I think I’d be willing to bet that the attraction doesn’t die with a love at first sight girl… at least not in the same fashion it does with other girls in general.
Why it can be frustrating for the rationalist
This whole phenomenon can be a little irksome for the rationalist because… well… it’s not a rational tangible sort of happening at all. What happens is sort of magical and not really explainable in a practical manner.
If you can accept that and be at peace with that, well then you can openly embrace the experience if you ever get the chance to.
Finding it isn’t the win, being able to capitalize on it is
Being able to capitalize on the opportunity is the win. That means moving fast, skipping steps, and getting your fundamentals and process down cold.
Otherwise you end up in a situation like I had been in high school where it’s there and it’s wonderful and enchanting… but you can’t do a single freaking thing about it, and can only sort of take blind shots at it like nice guys do with any other girls.
How to find it yourself
You can find your love at first sight girl by approaching a ton and trying to approach your type of woman (this means figuring out what type of girl you like in the first place).
Know in detail the type you want and then, find where you might find the type of woman you like and try to meet more girls of that type.
I don’t know what the odds of a love at first sight encounter would be. Chase has had this with several girls, but he’s approached 1000’s of women also… wouldn’t know what the statistics of it would be at all, I just know that it would take a lot of approaches and a lot of consistency and solid technique.
It’s a magical thing if you do experience it; and if you do, you’ll want that sort of girl and nothing less than that, for a long term relationship.
Here’s to hoping you find your unicorn, love-at-first-sight girl,
-Gem
