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pks391

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 12, 2015
Messages
275
Ok, so now there was this girl at work who friendzoned me coz i dint move fast enough. I never actually told her i liked her but i did ask her what role do i play in her life and she answered 'friend'. I told her that lets limit our conversations to work related topics only from now on. Shes confused why i asked her to do that. My question is how does one behave in front of a girl who you see at work everyday who friendzoned you and whether i should call her alone someday and tell her why i wanna keep our conversations limited to work. I mean i cannot cut contact obviously coz we are the only two employees at work. So should i take her out somewhere someday and tell her why im nexting her in that sense. This is because i dont wanna give her any more value as a friend, but merely give her value as a colleague. I dont wanna know her deeper coz it affects me negatively. What should i do?
 

pks391

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 12, 2015
Messages
275
PS she has grown pretty close to me and she thinks very few people in her life understand her as well as i do. I personally dont understand whether she deserves an explanation for my new behavior or not....please help coz its a matter of my workplace
 

luego

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 28, 2013
Messages
126
She said she wants to be your friend, and you're acting butt-hurt. And this, despite the fact that you never showed any romantic interest in her prior. Of course she's confused and upset.

Office romances are bad. But here, you're taking the negatives, without even having tried for the positive. Outright telling her you're backing off was a bad play. Either ask her out for drinks and make a play, or forget about her; you can stop being her BFF and still be a friend/acquaintance/co-worker.
 

pks391

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 12, 2015
Messages
275
Hey luego, thanks for replying.
Uhmm im pretty sure if i confess how i feel itd gonna be a no. I think what you are telling me is to tell her anyway. But wudnt that make me look like even a weaker man?
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

luego

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 28, 2013
Messages
126
There's a huge difference between "You're amazing and I love you" and "I think you're cute, and we should get drinks away from work".
 

pks391

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 12, 2015
Messages
275
Heh, yea i guess you made a point there....im planning on taking her out to the park, sitting her down and explaining to her exactly why i did what i did? That sound cool accorsing to you?
 

luego

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 28, 2013
Messages
126
No. Unless she brings it up, ignore your fuckup and she might as well. Either way, she'll know you changed your mind, and she'll make a decision to come with you or not.

The tone you're looking to set is that you're fine with the deep-diving, personal conversations, etc, if they're taking place while you're drinking wine alone with her. Because she's sexy. But if you're just her "work-husband" and there's no interest in physicality, then you still be pleasant and friendly and conversational, but dial it back. You know that the reason for that is that you don't get your silly little heart broken; she doesn't need to know that. She can assume you have 3 other girls on the go, and no time to waste being emotionally intimate with a co-worker, but friends is ok.
 
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