FU What an awful night, maybe I am meant to remain a virgin.

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

After going out on a Friday night where I experienced the town for the first time, I decided to go out again yesterday night and man that night sucked. A lot happened and I will get right to it. I need a lot of work and improvement but I am afraid that my looks might be an issue as well, time to get to it.

I started off at around 9 PM, entire town completely empty. Walk into one of the bars that I usually go to and talk to the door guys for a little while before going inside. Got a drink and then talked to some guy that was sitting by himself and that was a short conversation. Stood around and then approached another guy that was talking to 2 girls and he let me into his conversation, one of the girls was Arab just like me and the other was Asian. It goes alright, we chat, but I don’t really remember what I said.

Saw the Arab girl eyeing me a few times in the conversation but I made nothing of it. Eventually, the two left with the guy who they had come in with. Shortly after that, I would go outside to talk to the door guys again and then head out.

Headed out to a neighboring bar, wondered around for a bit, and then headed back out of there, it was empty. Went to a bar I went to the night before where I was talking to the door guy (the night before) but I think he was annoyed.

Me: Blah blah blah
Doorguy: Ya man that bar over there has got a lot of girls in it
Me: I don’t usually talk to girls at bars like that, too scared to be labeled a creep
Doorguy: Man don’t be such a fucking pussy, go talk to about five of them until you eventually get one, then go talk to 10, and then 20, it’s a numbers game dude
Me: Eh
Him: Go dude!

Go to bar next door but then I end up chickening out, some of the girls were there with older guys who were old enough to pass for their dads. Some girls were there with their moms, like wtf! College town worries!

Head out of that bar and there are two blondes I see along the way attempting to dance, they look at me and I look back and shake my head. I was being bitter since I have ALWAYS had bad experiences with blondes in the bar game or nightlife scene.

Her: Not feeling it?
Me: Hmm, lemme see, maybe?
Her: *Dances, looking at me and smiling*
Me: Im feeling it
Her: Dance then!
Me: I cannot dance drunk (not actually drunk)
Her: Come on!
Me: I have to go meet a few friends
Her: Well okay then

That was the highlight of my night! I mean wtf was that? It was right outside of a bar and I had a chance, that was my highlight of the night. Just caught me by surprise, I should have fucking stuck around and tried to make talk with them. Pinotnoir told me that is when you talk to girls, ON YOUR WAY TO BARS! On the way to the bar I was going to I try to talk to this Asian girl heading my way, she shakes her head not saying a word and then keeps on walking. Well it’s all good though, I am not even into her type, just trying to get a way to warm myself up.

Go walk around hit up a bar where I had seen blonde with the big ass that made me horny the night before, enter and end up talking to a couple of guys I know from classes. Do not make any approaches, total sausagefest at that bar too. I instead ended up going to a neighboring bar where ratios were so much better.

Stand around for a bit and as I am near the bar standing next to a group of girls, some blonde comes up to me and pokes me hard on the abs before walking towards that group. I attempt to talk to her only for her to instantly pull out the phone and pretend like I am not there, well that sucked!

Walk out of the bar shortly after that only to go to another area of the town where there were a couple of bars, one was completely empty. I decide to go in anyways and have a drink, talk with the bartender (hot girl) for a bit but I feel so low energy. I had busted my load twice earlier in the day watching porn.

I then ended up going to another bar right next to it where as I am walking around, a group of guys with one girl with them open me. The guy was tall and had blonde hair down to his shoulders.

Him: Ya lets get our friend Fez from that 70s show in this picture! (I get told I look like Wilmer Valderrama a lot)
Me: Okay!

I tell him he looks like Brad Pitt and things are going well, he seemed like a friendly guy. Great thing now, friendly people at a bar, finally, awesome. Take this momentum and I try to run with it, leaving the people behind and thanking them for being so friendly. So go back to another bar with this new found momentum and end up using it to maybe talk to some people. Head back to the bar I started my night at.

Once again, I talk to a guy because I am just not in the mood to just cold approach a girl at the bar. Guy is a total douche to me and tells me to fuck off. Go to another bar I was at earlier in the night where the door guy told me to approach girls, try to talk to him and he tells me to leave him alone because he is doing his job.

Go to one of the bars and they have an upstairs lounge, I pretend to be so drunk that I can barely make it up the stairs and there are two girls looking at me in amazement. So anyways, I end up getting up the stairs and pretend to almost fall and they ask me if I am okay. Wow, girls actually know I am in a bar! Two cute brunettes btw.

Me: I made it!
Her: I know you did
Me: Do you think I should get another drink?
Her: Ya go for it!
Me: well you know
Her: Go for it!
Me: -Walk away embarrassed-

I end up sitting on a couch with these two guys visiting from NYC, one black and another Hispanic. We chat up for a bit until I head out to a neighboring bar where I would enter and run into a classmate of mines. The classmate is a cute blonde that happened to remember me from a class we had (Chemistry). We chat for a bit, high fives, but her friends pull her away before anything happens.

Well that sucked!

I head to the biggest bar in town where I wonder around for a bit before walking down a flight of stairs being blocked by a hot blonde. Man, just my type, light blonde hair with a cute face and pretty body. I look at her and smile but she looks away, fuck! That sucked! I end up finding another one that I try to talk to but she looks my way, looks away, and ignores me. FUCK THIS SHIT!

I walk out with plans of heading home but then I decide against it, go back to the bar again!

So I head on out to another bar where I would meet the guy who I met earlier in the night who I said looked like Brad Pitt. We chatted for a bit and he proposes that we hit on the two blondes standing around together. I decide to be the first one to do it, they just look at me and attempt to look away but Brad Pitt tells them I am a famous scientist. He takes on and I take the other. We’re talking and I try to talk to her only to find that she walks away and goes to the bar shortly after, brad pitt is still talking to her friend while I walk away.

30 minutes later I would encounter Brad Pitt downstairs and ask him how it went, told me it went great and I told him mines went sour. Brad Pitt tells me it is because I talk too much. Then about five minutes later some drunk gay Asian guy approaches me and starts hitting on me, I tell him I am not interested but he keeps persisting. I end up going home this time for good.

Well, that is about all I remember. It was an awful night.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Her: Not feeling it?
Me: Hmm, lemme see, maybe?
Her: *Dances, looking at me and smiling*
Me: Im feeling it
Her: Dance then!
Me: I cannot dance drunk (not actually drunk)
Her: Come on!
Me: I have to go meet a few friends
Her: Well okay then

This girl literally just opened you. Should have went like this

Her: Not feeling it?

Altair: (smirks and extends his hand) "let's find out"

Then you pull her in, grind a bit, and then pull her off the dance floor. Ask her a few questions and see how she's responding; if you can notice non-verbal signs of interest, and she's showing a lot, skip the conversation and walk outside with her.

A few examples of "she's ready to fuck":

- staring at you for longer than you'd expect
- she's holding you with about equal force you are her (i.e., she doesn't want to lose you; guys should have a firmer grip while women flirt with lighter touch, but if she's really horny, her animal instincts will override her polite decorum)
- she bites her lip
- she's staring at your lips and/or flicking from eye to eye
- she says anything about where you live, if you're here with friends, how big your dick is, etc.

If she's not showing any clear signs, you could still just go for the pull. I seriously can't explain to you how many girls I've lost because I thought I needed to game her more; I should be getting them home in 30 mins regularly (had one last week).

Or, if you're not feeling that ballsy and need to improve more slowly, just chat a bit and gauge when you feel she's "ready" - when you get that really subtle urge to invite her home, listen to that voice, it's usually right. But the quicker the invite home is, the more confidently you need to ask.


"Hey let's get out of here" is much more confident than "Want to get out of here?" but sometimes you're not on your A-game and you puss out a bit. No biggie, just make sure you ask in a very surefire tone, like "I know you want to fuck me"

Me: I made it!
Her: I know you did
Me: Do you think I should get another drink?
Her: Ya go for it!
Me: well you know
Her: Go for it!
Me: -Walk away embarrassed-

Not sure what your tone was when you said this. If it was like a little kid getting off of a slide, then she was being motherly. If it was kinda low and sarcastic, she was interested. Or you could also pull off a tone of "I make everything look awesome, even falling." Also, the fall needs to be genuine and not seem faked; coming from a former "class clown who fucks all the girls that laugh at his stunts," you gotta make it real. It's a high investment and high risk style, but it can be done. Though, I would discourage most guys from doing it, because it really requires a fine touch and is often just best left alone in favor of a more solid, manly style. Oh and don't ask girls for advice until you're very far into a relationship with her, because before she's your girl, it makes you look weak. When she's in love with you, well then she wants to help you and feels desired when you ask her advice.

But really man, your first real problem is to stop thinking that you're bothering everybody and they're always angry at you. People are fucking bored and want to be bothered. They're tired of posting on Instagram and want real human companionship. Give that to them or at least try and I promise they won't hate you. Even if they don't like you, people rarely hate you (in fact, being hated isn't something that happens until you are really successful; people snide at others' weakness, but they truly detest when someone makes THEM feel weak).

Also, work on your fundamentals and go from "a few girls want me" to "I can't walk down the street without girls raping me with their eyes."

- Anatty

 

[Zoro]

Dude.

That sounds like a great night. This is exactly how a night for an inexperienced guy looks like. Roll with the punches.

You were auto rejecting a lot, but that's okay because it sounds like you're not comfortable in this environment (comes with experience) yet you got out there and were making an effort anyway.

You had A LOT of interesting interactions. Reflect on the night and learn from them.

There are no failures, only feedback.

Work on your fundamentals, fundamentals, fundamentals, and replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. "WHAT AN AWESOME NIGHT, I AM DESTINED TO BECOME A SEX GOD"

Keep up the good work.

PS

Quitting porn makes you a hungry beast. I suggest you take it seriously. You may have overcome your inhibitions and danced with those girls because your sex drive compelled you to do so. Some people can jerk off to porn everyday and still be a sexual beast (I am close friends with a machine of a man like this), but I am not one of those men and neither are you.

 

[ray_zorse]

You put yourself out there, and because of that you had some interactions, and because of those interactions not having gone the way you wanted, you saw where you have to improve. So that's a good thing. Also you stuck it out till the end of the night, so that's another good thing. I don't really see what sucked so much about the night, except perhaps a little ego bruising from people's (honest) feedback, it sounds like you chilled with some interesting people, had some good convo mixed in with the bad, checked out some different venyes which weren't all super wonderful, just a standard night out really. Similar to what I would have had. The thing is really how you perceive it... say you're a hunter in ancient times, a day out will involve checking lots of different places, many of which won't have any game, plus long boring stakeouts, followed by being a dick and accidentally scaring the animal away instead of spearing it... are you gonna come back to camp every time and say "man, my day sucked"...?

I think you are having two main problems, both of them conversation related... the first is not knowing what to say to a girl, feeling anxious and ejecting as a result; the second is not knowing what to say to a guy (or a girl you've approached, as happened later in the night), feeling anxious and blabbing on about stuff that's not of interest to them, or failing to notice their lack of interest / investment and keeping a conversation going when it has died a natural death. Your conversation is a fundamental you can work on.

I suggest to check out GC resources on conversation, such ad the Spellbinding conversation series, or articles on deep diving. But the general principle is to keep it about him/her, if you had engaged your doorguy more effectively he would not have told you to fuck off. Also try not to project a needy vibe, the context of your convo is important, if you are avoiding being social by engaging people who are PAID to be nice to you it will be obvious to them and look needy. It's one thing to engage the bartender in an empty bar, it's another thing to do it when he/she is busy and there are millions of other people to talk to anyway. But practice having short, fun convo with people you meet such as baristas, shop assistants etc, and calibrate to how busy / bored they are, thus will help you become more liked by bartenders, bouncers etc.

Also, when you approach or get approached, keep it light initially, I normally add some strong EC and maybe some touch, and say "so... how about your night so far?"... she often needs a bit of prompting "so you guys came directly from work?... a restaurant?... pregamed at somebody's house?"... with questioning like this she'll soon be babbling away about how she knows everyone in the group etc, and probably a bit about her day-to-day life, you can also ask general questions like how old she is, did/does she study/work etc, all this gives the seed material to deep dive.

Above all just go out, speak to lots of girls and persist more, past the stumbling blocks you experienced this time. Again, you won't hit a homerun the first time out, but if you can hook some girls into conversation they enjoy and get one animatedly sharing about herself, that'd be a massive win.

Ray

 

[HellAtlantic]

I have two pieces of advice for you, and you should not take offense to this cuz we're all trying to help and be helped. Again, no offense is meant by my advice - and I don't want to get banned cuz I'm just an outsider giving feedback. First, the tame advice:

1. If you are a virgin you don't belong in this forum. You are still trying to get your first and at this point even tho you're not a girl you still want your first to be memorable. Try to find a girlfriend. Take it slower. Pick up and game is for ppl who've banged before and want to keep banging new girls. But you're not at that point. You need to find a good girl, date her for a bit and get the virgin thing out of the way. In your head you freeze up because you not only have to deal with how to deal with a girl you also have the "oh man am I ready for this to be the one I Iose my virginity to??!" and that's too much to deal with. You're in college - join a club and become friendly with a girl in that club and date her and be in a committed relationship and get it out of the way. Then you'll be ready to deal with other girls cuz you won't have the virgin thing to worry about.

Here's the not so tame advice:

2. Come to grips and be honest with your sexuality. Go back and read this report and your other report and count how many times you say you approached and talked to guy vs the times you talked to girls (or had girls talk to you and you froze). For someone trying to get laid by a girl you spend an awful lot of time talking to ppl on the same team. It's ok, we learn more about ourselves when we're in college. You can go back and read my advice to you in your other report and you can see what I was alluding to in that report. But hey, what do I know? I'm just a bystander. I could be totally off base here and I apologize if that's the case. It's one thing to have approach anxiety - everyone does but the pros here channel that anxiety energy into a different kind of energy and push thru it - but when you're getting approached and talked to by girls and you still struggle cuz you can't form two sentences then something else is in probably in play. But just be honest with yourself about your sexuality, it's all I'm saying. Again we're all here to help and be helped.

Best of luck to you in your journey.

 

[HellAtlantic]

To be honest with you, and you might not want to hear it and I apologize once again if I'm wrong, but I think you have some serious questions to ask yourself about your sexuality. Answer those questions and everything else will fall into place for you.

When you describe guys you're a little too descriptive of their looks. In your other FR you mention bumping into your guy friend and say he's tall and describe his features. Why? What purpose does it serve for us the reader to know what he looks like if it doesn't have anything to do with the story? You also mentioned trying to play pool with guys and they kicked you out - did they pick up on a weird vibe from you? In this report you mentioned talking to a guy with long blonde hair and telling him he looks like Brad Pitt. Does that have anything to do with us being able to help you get laid by a girl? Does telling a random guy he looks like Brad Pitt seem like the most heterosexual thing to do? Do you think that's what guys tell other guys? Not really, right? You also talked a bit with the bouncer until he told you to beat it - is that another example of a guy feeling a weird vibe with you? You mention pretending to be drunk and falling on steps in view of girls - in what world would pretending to be drunk and looking uncoordinated help you land a girl? Why did you think that was the best thing you could've done to attract a girl? Lots of questions you need to ask yourself.

 

[HellAtlantic]

Hi radeng

No offense taken by your observations of me. Sometimes we need to come on strong with criticism so the point gets thru. He wrote two FRs that led me thinking "he's in denial". If he isn't into guys then he should ask himself "what is it about me that would lead a random internet stranger to question my sexuality?". But if he isn't then I'm wrong.

I am married but go out by myself frequently and cold approach. Not sure what my endgame is but I have *no* problem going up to girls and talking. I am a very good looking guy and I tend to somewhat get approached by girls myself but nothing that would tempt me. Things will be much easier once I decide what it is I'm after. Been told I look uncannily like Vin Diesel. Do I have tons of experience with all stages of PU - approach, move, get to take home and seal the deal? No. Not in a while. Been married for 12 yrs. But I know Ppl and situations extremely well. Once I decide what I'm going to do, as in do or not do something outside my marriage, the sealing the deal part will take care of itself as I have the necessary skills to approach and move and I have my looks to make up for anything I might lack experience wise. You need less smoke and mirrors in PU the better your look/body is. But to discredit any advice I give cuz I don't drink the same flavor KoolAid everyone drinks would be wrong to do. You can have all the approach anxiety in the world but as long as you have a steady stream of girls approaching you like Altair does that takes off all the pressure - or it should - and it should be smooth sailing cuz you say to yourself "this girl likes me so half the battle is done and I just need to not fuck it up by doing or saying too outrageous and I'll most likely bang. Sounds like it tends to constantly fall into his lap and even then he doesn't know what to do - there's an underlying cause there. Maybe not sexuality related but perhaps some social disorder. we rarely if ever ask ourselves the tough questions, it's only at the prodding of unbiased outsiders that forces us to reexamine ourselves. Treating ppl with kid gloves doesn't allow them to get to the root of their issue. Something definitely seems off with Altair and I hope he finds a way to resolve what is causing the roadblock.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I read the other FU report and I do not know what to say. College is the last place you want to run the PUA/cold approach type of shit, it will get you a bad reputation. I can personally understand what Altair might be going through, it can suck so bad in college when you're in one small town and if you come on too aggressively on girls, everyone will know about it.

This is a tough situation he is in no doubt, college game can get really hard when you do not have a social circle to work with. It is not like running game in Vegas or some big city, you're going out to the bar scene and talking to girls you might end up seeing in class or walking around campus, a major slip up or sleazy come on can lead to a lot of problems so I can understand Altair's issue.

My advice would be to take it a step at a time, you got good at talking to people and being more social after having been a recluse. Now work on finding a way to talk to girls but having no intentions of actually wanting to fuck them. Just take one night to talk to female strangers and make some sort of small talk with them.

Do not let rude encounters get the worst of you, girls WILL be bitches, even to tall and handsome guys, that is how girls in the nightlife scene are. Talk to them and if their reactions are good (smiling face, attentive, etc.), continue the conversation but do not focus on getting laid. Build, getting laid should be the long term goal, for now just get comfortable talking to girls.

I also believe that Atlantic should be banned for kicking a man while he is down. Either he is a well done troll or just a total moron, he adds no value to this thread or this forum, he needs to be banned. I don't say that about many users but what Atlantic did on this thread is disgusting and the way he writes makes him sound like some illiterate trash.

 

[Smith]

Altair,

Good seeing you taking action! Just to add on Radeng's advice on being positive. Next time you write up your experience, POSITIVE REFRAME every experience you have, I want to see a positive and fun report from you next time. If you're not laughing when you're writing up your experience, then you're not doing it right. Be your own cheerleader man. It's hard enough to go out by yourself when you're new, so stop saying "omg this fucking sucks". Every interaction is 100 out of 10. Honestly, your night sounds pretty good to everyone here.

Also, you need to fall in love your with yourself.Not in a narcissistic way, but you need to start respecting yourself. The relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you'll ever have. A good spiritual teacher I'm following right now is Teal Swan (https://www.youtube.com/user/TheSpiritualCatalyst) She focuses on fixing your internal trauma and it helped me more than some of the inner game stuff.

Good luck and stay positive =)

 

[Smurf]

Altair, once again real good job for an early night out here.

Most of what I would say has already been covered by Radeng, Smith, Anatty, and J Wick. You really pushed your own boundaries here obviously, and that's going to build upon your self esteem the next time you go out.

Your first night - correct me if I'm wrong - you approached twice. This time, three. Also, you keep getting opened by girls and guys alike, meaning you have an above average base fundamental level.

You should be honestly proud of yourself here. You're definitely pushing your limits, and I'd love for you to keep it up, you're actually getting me hyped for when I go out to night game on Thursday!

Jake.

The rest of this is directed at others.

HellAtlantic,

1. If you are a virgin you don't belong in this forum.

Wrong. I was a virgin when I joined here. I'm not anymore.

You are still trying to get your first and at this point even tho you're not a girl you still want your first to be memorable. Try to find a girlfriend. Take it slower. Pick up and game is for ppl who've banged before and want to keep banging new girls. But you're not at that point. You need to find a good girl, date her for a bit and get the virgin thing out of the way. In your head you freeze up because you not only have to deal with how to deal with a girl you also have the "oh man am I ready for this to be the one I Iose my virginity to??!" and that's too much to deal with. You're in college - join a club and become friendly with a girl in that club and date her and be in a committed relationship and get it out of the way. Then you'll be ready to deal with other girls cuz you won't have the virgin thing to worry about.

Lolwut. I haven't even had a committed relationship yet. I'm pretty sure I can still "game" having not done that yet. It's all about perspective, dawg.

2. Come to grips and be honest with your sexuality. Go back and read this report and your other report and count how many times you say you approached and talked to guy vs the times you talked to girls (or had girls talk to you and you froze). For someone trying to get laid by a girl you spend an awful lot of time talking to ppl on the same team. It's ok, we learn more about ourselves when we're in college. You can go back and read my advice to you in your other report and you can see what I was alluding to in that report. But hey, what do I know? I'm just a bystander. I could be totally off base here and I apologize if that's the case. It's one thing to have approach anxiety - everyone does but the pros here channel that anxiety energy into a different kind of energy and push thru it - but when you're getting approached and talked to by girls and you still struggle cuz you can't form two sentences then something else is in probably in play. But just be honest with yourself about your sexuality, it's all I'm saying. Again we're all here to help and be helped.

Wrong wrong wrong. I've been in his situation. First time I did night game, I'm pretty sure I talked to more dudes than guys. It's comfortable. Doesn't mean he doesn't want to slay any less than the rest of us do. We're helping here - this advice of yours isn't constructive.

I've had moments where girls opened me and I didn't even REALIZE it. It takes getting used to, just like anything else. Some people aren't used to jumping at opportunity, and that's one of the biggest things game teaches you: to jump on opportunity. This in no way has anything to deal with his "sexuality", man.

When you describe guys you're a little too descriptive of their looks. In your other FR you mention bumping into your guy friend and say he's tall and describe his features. Why? What purpose does it serve for us the reader to know what he looks like if it doesn't have anything to do with the story? You also mentioned trying to play pool with guys and they kicked you out - did they pick up on a weird vibe from you? In this report you mentioned talking to a guy with long blonde hair and telling him he looks like Brad Pitt. Does that have anything to do with us being able to help you get laid by a girl? Does telling a random guy he looks like Brad Pitt seem like the most heterosexual thing to do? Do you think that's what guys tell other guys? Not really, right? You also talked a bit with the bouncer until he told you to beat it - is that another example of a guy feeling a weird vibe with you? You mention pretending to be drunk and falling on steps in view of girls - in what world would pretending to be drunk and looking uncoordinated help you land a girl? Why did you think that was the best thing you could've done to attract a girl? Lots of questions you need to ask yourself.

Whoa. Chill or be chilled, dude. You straight up have no idea what you're talking about here. Your argument has no foundation. Maybe write a field report or two before you talk about how learning how to compliment - girls and guys alike - isn't helpful in game.

Do I have tons of experience with all stages of PU - approach, move, get to take home and seal the deal? No. Not in a while. Been married for 12 yrs. But I know Ppl and situations extremely well. Once I decide what I'm going to do, as in do or not do something outside my marriage, the sealing the deal part will take care of itself as I have the necessary skills to approach and move and I have my looks to make up for anything I might lack experience wise.

Haha. You'll probably find out that experience trumps speculation 99.9% of the time.

Learn constructive criticism.

Proactivity,

There's a way to game and maintain a solid reputation in a college town. What Altair has done so far is in no way damaging, and if it is, it's minimal. I can tell you though, coming off as a platonic friend isn't gonna' get him what he needs now.

 

[Franco]

@HellAtlantic,

I read your posts, and I want to believe you were genuinely trying to be helpful (maybe from the "I'm going to approach this from an entirely different angle that no one else has" type of way). That being said, this board does allow any guy of any experience level to post here to help improve himself. You can be a 40-year-old virgin and come for help here, and as long as you're willing to take the advice and listen to what everyone here has to say, you are more than welcome to be here.

It's fine to take a different approach and tell guys something that they may not want to hear, but please make sure not to discourage guys from using the board because they have no sexual experience (or any type of experience at all with women for that matter). We've had many guys come on this board and be thankful to lose their virginity with the help they received here, and a few of those guys continued on to be some of the more successful guys on these boards. There's always room to make breakthroughs and learn more about not only women but also yourself. And that's why this board is here.

- Franco

 

[HellAtlantic]

Yeah no offense was meant and I tried to make sure I noted that at several places.

I used to have major approach anxiety - major - but because I look the way I do (and I look better now at 37 than I do at any other point in my life, I certainly put the work in the gym tho) I've never really had to think about game or technique as I used to just settle for whatever girl approached me. Think of you guys being the lion in the jungle and me being the lion at the zoo getting steaks fed to me. But whenever I got approached my anxiety disappeared - I'd tell myself "this girl is talking to me and made the initial intro because she obviously must like me". Sounds like Altair gets a fair stream of girls approaching him. Half the battle is done. You know they like you so just don't get in your own way. But the virgin thing is a major hurdle. That's like putting a rookie in a baseball game in Game 7 of World Series and asking him to hit a walk off HR in his first at-bat. Waaaay too much on his plate. Let the rookie get a hit first in a meaningless game.

I say I drink a different flavor KoolAid than others here because 90% of the posters here give the same type of info because you've all studied out of the same book so the perspectives are all similar. I know about social momentum and just taking to anybody just to get you loosened up but no one should be approaching guys that much, waste of energy and detracts from your ultimate goals. There is no other way to spin it. It's nice to work the room and appear high value but to try to hang out with other guys and then eventually getting kicked out cuz you rub them the wrong way - the energy is being focused in the wrong area. Better to approach girls and fail miserably cuz the experience gained from that is more valuable than whatever you'd learn from talking to guys. That's truth and no two ways around that.

I give advice to ppl the same way I would want someone to give it to me - black and white with no sugarcoating. I'll admit it was a little extreme to question his sexuality - apologies again - but there is a running theme in his reports and the majority of his energy is not being directed towards things that will help him reach his goals. Apologies again.

He's just a little in over his head cuz he's fighting on two different fronts. We've all been virgins before and it's a heavy weight to bear the older you start getting. Help him find a girlfriend and help him address his virginity and let him get that monkey off his back.

 

[Franco]

HA,

I know about social momentum and just taking to anybody just to get you loosened up but no one should be approaching guys that much, waste of energy and detracts from your ultimate goals. There is no other way to spin it. It's nice to work the room and appear high value but to try to hang out with other guys and then eventually getting kicked out cuz you rub them the wrong way - the energy is being focused in the wrong area. Better to approach girls and fail miserably cuz the experience gained from that is more valuable than whatever you'd learn from talking to guys. That's truth and no two ways around that.

Yeah, and I won't argue here. A guy can't be waiting until 1:00 am to start approaching women at a bar or nightclub if he's new. Altair needs to be approaching lots of women while he's new at this and just taking what's given to him. I think that's his biggest issue at the moment -- he's being too picky while having no experience under his belt. It's a Catch 22 though because if you have no experience, you can't be picky (because the girls you want will detect your lack of experience and won't want you).

So, Altair, try to get some notches under your belt and take what's given to you so that you can start getting more experience.

I give advice to ppl the same way I would want someone to give it to me - black and white with no sugarcoating. I'll admit it was a little extreme to question his sexuality - apologies again - but there is a running theme in his reports and the majority of his energy is not being directed towards things that will help him reach his goals. Apologies again.

It's fine -- a lot of guys actually prefer the "no sugarcoating" style of advice. I could see that you were genuine in your posts and that you were attempting to help. A lot of the guys here on the boards are very helpful, so I think it would be best if we continued to help him get where he wants to be as long as he's willing to use the advice that is given here.

- Franco

 

[HellAtlantic]

Trust me, no harm meant.

This board is an invaluable resource into the minds of females. There's no way to read the threads here over even just one week and not walk away 50% more understanding of interacting with women. And everyone here is totally helpful. Some might differ from how they dispense advice but "I want to help you" is the underlying theme behind every single post. The info I've learned about shit tests, giving a girl plausible deniability and handling LMR has blown my mind. Great forum and sorry for coming off as a troll and derailing focus from Altair who can use everyone's full attention.

 

[Chase]

I'm late to this thread and I'm kind of skimming through the rest of it so not sure what's going on with HellAtlantic, but as to the original post... Altair, NICE job getting out, doing approaches, and getting a report up on it (your first proper field report).

This should be an FR, not an FU.

This is basically what my field reports looked like my first 3 months of really going out and hitting it hard, except yours is better, and with less whining/venting than some of mine had

Nights like this are necessary to disabuse you of entitled notions like "Women should just like me automatically" and bring you down into a more grounded state where you realize women are only going to respond to you as well as your game+fundamentals allow. And if these aren't in shape, they won't respond well to you. You spend a few outings swallowing that humble pill, and then you start making progress, often fast.

The early part, though, is where you really have to push yourself out there and slog through it a bit. And it is a slog. But if it was easy everyone'd be doing it, wouldn't they? The nice thing is, with pickup, the barrier to entry is right up front. If you make it over it, you're pretty much in.

Chase

EDIT: just read the HellAtlantic thread... Altair, he's keyboard jockeying. HellAtlantic, if you have theories about how men who talk to men are gay or you wonder if maybe virgins shouldn't learn pickup, that stuff's fine, but ask those questions in Beginners or General, don't post them on a guy's first field report. It's kind of tone deaf.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

My goal is to land a make out at a bar and eventually lose my virginity by playing the bar game.