FU What an idiot!

[Railer]

Hi, my name is idiot. It's 5:30 a.m. and I actually find it reasonable to write down a field report. Anger is a great motivator. How funny is that. Not.

How many times have I been feeling beaten up and stupid upon going home? I've lost count - oh and my wits too! So now I'm Idiot. Capital I.

This year I screwed nine girls but I screwed up with a bazillion. They must've been all very creative as they always found reasons to ditch me. Creative girls are nice, but they leave me guessing. I don't have the slightest clue as to what their reasons were.

Did I mention that many of the chicks showed IOIs in the beginning? Now you know. Ah and that I still screwed up? No? Now you know. Hell yeah, they lust for me and I still manage to screw up completely.

Whatever. I enter the club, and pretty much "every" girl is looking at me. And "as usual" I'm not prepared for that. I don't even feel too sexy tonight. Anyway, what do I do, stupid idiot I am? Exactly! Nothing. I leave it for later. Actually I'm fucking afraid of talking to girls tonight. Not in "state" you'd say.

I wonder what's going on with me? All the girls looking at me and I'm still incapable of taking this as a sign that I am welcomed to talk. Why? Because "every time" I get into convo, I collect bad experiences. Yeah sometimes they're just "bad", but usually they're very bad - like having the girl choose some fucking shitface over me or whatever. Talking about shit - this year was pretty much shit altogether in regards to my experiences with women. Hurray!

Anyway there are about three girls at the club that turn me on a lot. And a dozen that turn me on. Two of them are looking at me very openly every now and then, but I still don't go over to them to talk. I'm with friends by the way. Well that blonde chick is suddenly talked to by some dude and I go: "fuck why haven't I talked to her first?"

Doesn't matter anyway, because when I finally do talk to her, things go wrong again. Upon letting the girl know that I'll head back to my friends, I offer to stay in touch. The blonde looks at her friend: "Do you want to?". That's the spirit! Thaaank you.

Maybe, if I'd played it cool, I would've gotten the number anyway, but it was all screwed from the beginning anyway. Why? I have no fucking clue.

I notice that, by now, there is no girl left that's actually looking at me. Oh wait, there is one ... but I interpret her look more as a "why are you staring at me?" Selective awareness is lovely.

Some guy presents me a woman and tries to convince me to give her a kiss. Omg.

I head home. Yes. Fuck this shit. I *was* opening other girls as well. Yes, I was *forcing* myself to keep talking to girls even though my pride & ego told me to "just accept that this girl doesn't like you anyway".

I also do know that most of the girls in that club won't go home with anybody else either. I still expect them to go home with *me* at least. Surprise, surprise: They don't.

I hate it. While I'm in the taxi I wonder if I ever get this game right before I need a walking stick to get out of bed.

I'll go to bed now, waking up tomorrow, finding myself in a world that appears "ok again", ignoring what happened tonight.
And when I go out next time, I'll repeat this shit fucking "game" again, that has me thinking stuff like "of course it won't work now, because you missed the first couple of minutes in the club, when you were still a king". What's wrong with you girls? If you found me hot upon entering what has changed, just 2 hours in??

Short lived passion, eh? Fuck you.

Today is the first time in my life, I actually regret ever having learned about pickup. Before, I always found reason "why" it's "good to know".

(*UPDATE:* I woke up with my laptop on my lap, still feeling bad.)

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

1d10t,

By writing the field report I think you are looking for help. I am not good at night game but there are lots of guys here who are. You need to post details regarding your interactions with the ladies so that we can evaluate what is going wrong. I can tell that your preconceived attitude for failure is your first problem. The ladies read it all over you. We need to get you past this.

BDSC

 

[Railer]

I can tell that your preconceived attitude for failure is your first problem.

I appreciate your kind response - didn't expect that.

Just now I've posted a short FR about todays interaction (viewtopic.php?f=5&t=12286).

I'd love to get rid of that attitude, but the common pattern in my interactions is: Girl shows interest (by looking at me overtly or more) and when I then start an interaction I'm blown out. It hurts double because I feel like they are playing a prank on me.

 

[lao che]

I appreciate your kind response - didn't expect that.

exactly ......

anyway, let's look at the positives. 9 girls in a year is more than most guys get in a lifetime. so give yourself a pat on the back for that.
you're putting yourself out there, trying. most guys don't do that.
you seem to have a lot going for you, i assume you are a good looking guy. most guys aren't. get lots of interest from hot girls. most guys don't.
you are reading girlschase, i mean, if i had girlschase when i was 20 i'd be king of the world by now. i guess you're early 20s but i don't know. i'm 40 and girlschase helped me immensely.
everything you need is on this site. get a membership and go back to the beginning, read all chase's articles and BELIEVE.\

i used to be a lot like you, i thought girls were plotting against me. everytime i heard girls giggling i assumed they were making mean jokes about me! WTF!!! i even started writing a a book about an experience i had with a swedish girl, i was convinced she and her friend had be plotting for months against me. i was so paranoid and lost in my own mind i imagined this girl, who lived in sweden, had planned with her friend to come visit me in barcelona and fuck with my mind. when actually she was in love with me, felt we were fated to be together, and i couldn't let myself go and be "myself" because my own mind wouldn't let me. why the fuck would she and her friends take international flights around NEW YEARS EVE to go and try and manipulate a guy into ... i don't even know what. they WOULDN'T. i imagined them cackling like witches as they put the final pieces of their plan together.

people can change. your ego is stopping you. your ego is HUGE at the moment. you are clinging on to the identity you have built of yourself and you don't want to let it go because you are afraid you won't be YOU anymore. you have to strip away the walls you've built around you.
i also strongly suggest listening to theartofcharm podcast. there are hundreds of hours of free content. i've listened to every one. but i suggest you go through and cherry pick thh more appropriate episodes for your own personal issues.

keep posting.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

loa che,

Thanks for the direct to art of charm. I will start listening to these.

SGent

 

[Railer]

everytime i heard girls giggling i assumed they were making mean jokes about me! WTF!!!

Hehe I feel for you. I had that too, but that was fortunately a long time ago ... and in recent years I start to realize that actually "most" of the time the issue is some problem the girl has - not about me.

your ego is HUGE at the moment.

I wonder what makes you think that (also given that my posts leave me pretty "naked" out there). I'm a fan of ego-destruction and constantly working on it ><

 

[lao che]

No man they're gigging because they are saying how cute you are or wow look at that guys ass or something like that.. Not oh my god what a fucking ugly loser ha ha ha

Ego.... Yours is in your way. It's obvious from your posts...

 

[Railer]

No man they're gigging because they are saying how cute you are

Just re-read my line and now I see how our misunderstanding was caused. I happily agree - The part regarding the "issues" referred to other things that could be interpreted as not being liked by her, but instead is an issue of hers.

For example, only after quite some persistence on my part, the girls who denied any day 2 finally asked me, why I'd like her and told me that she didn't consider herself beautiful.

Don't get how my ego may be the cause of me struggling to relax around girls I'm highly attracted to. I wouldn't be surprised though, if one day I realize a connection myself.

 

[lao che]

Hmm I messed up this message. Pls delete... Weird connection issues

 

[lao che]

Don't get how my ego may be the cause of me struggling to relax around girls I'm highly attracted to

That isnt what I'm saying.

You are reluctant to change the image you have of yourself.

Hi, I'm idiot. This is me the idiot making mistakes. What An idiot I am etc. The negative beliefs and mindset will affect your outcome far more than you can imagine. When you change you will look back and see what I'm talking about. You will see clearly how so many of the bad interaction you have were all just in your mind.

Even in this thread you say you weren't expecting a kind response.... Why is that? We are all brothers here to help each other. But you expected unkind responses....