What are some good strategies (aside from find new GF) if you feel she drains your energy with too many questions?

[DocumentationTreasury]

F: [question]

M: Ok honey, I'm going to study/work now

[brief pause, I try to move away/out of the bed, she grabs arm]

F: [question]

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or maybe before bed I'm trying to sleep

F: [question]

M: Ok honey, let's take a break from questions.

[small break]

F: [question]

I'm living with her for at least this semester, I can't afford to get kicked out

 

[Zoro]

There’s a balance of being firm and being warm and nice about it.

If you haven’t sat her down yet and explained that there are times you need your personal space and you value it, and would like her to respect it when you say you need it, and that asking questions counts as disturbing that space you need, and that unless it’s very important she should hold it off until later, and that all of this is very important to you and will help you spend time with her. You just need quality recharge time with boundaries in tact.

then when/if she starts asking questions again you can gently remind her about what you discussed.

I did this with my ex and it was wonderful, we got to a point we could just say “I need space” and the other would immediately respect it and do something else for a bit.

you might even want to bring up that couples who do this are happier and keep their attraction towards each other. Idk if that’s true but it was for me haha

 

[Vision]

F: [question]

M: Ok honey, I'm going to study/work now

[brief pause, I try to move away/out of the bed, she grabs arm]

F: [question]

"Babe, do you want me to lock you in the closet again? Shut your fucking mouth or I'm sticking you back in the closet. This time with NO FOOD."

I'm just kidding, don't say that.

Sounds like you need some boundaries and she's feeling like she's not getting enough connection/attention.

I don't really have a long-term solution for this... I was in a relationship with a girl for a couple of years that would do this. Part of it was that we were kind of isolated, traveling around the world together so she wasn't getting connection and attention from anyone but me... and I'm a bit of a loner so that was hard on her.

Part of it is that you can encourage her to make other friends and get attention and connection from other sources, that way she's not in scarcity around connection.

The other part that I've found to work is to give her what she needs for a moment and while you're doing that to set the boundary that you want to set.

So for instance, you might grab her hair, pull her in and give her a strong kiss and say, "Babe, I love talking to you so much. But right now, I need to go."

This seems to work pretty well unless there's an underlying worry that she has. For my ex, her worry was that I was going to leave her. So I found that telling her that I'm not going anywhere and that I love her would usually work for it.

Unfortunately, that didn't always work and sometimes I had to be very stern with her and let her know that it was a serious problem that would push me further away from her when she did it... that's obviously not solving the problem but neither is giving her temporary reassurance... because she had a hole in her heart that she was trying to fill with my reassurance that could probably only really be filled through her own inner work that she is or isn't doing (imo).

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or maybe before bed I'm trying to sleep

F: [question]

M: Ok honey, let's take a break from questions.

[small break]

F: [question]

I'm living with her for at least this semester, I can't afford to get kicked out

Yeah, I've had a few women do this to me... I usually just "shush" them and tell them it's sleep time... put your finger on her mouth... "sshhh... sleep time... ssshhhhh" and just do that over and over again.

That seems to have been a temp fix for me.

If you tell her it's a break from questions, that means there's a point where questions are welcome again... if it's sleep time, there's no break... it's time to shut the fuck up and go to sleep.

 

[Skills]

i had this problem multiple times, i came from work and all of my mains wanted to talk... The last thing i wanted after selling all day in some cases talking and influencing for hours is to "talk"

i was rude a bit: "put your mouth on mute" "i don't want to talk right now"

^ this was not strategy it was on the moment, then i would nicely tell them i am sorry and that i worked hard selling and influencing and the last thing i wanted when i got home is to talk to anybody, that i wanted to be left alone to de compress for an hour or 2 and that then after, to let me come to them and talk post that cool down....

^ never had a problem they all understood and adapted.... But when you are in a relationship women want to talk about their day and share with you, that is normal, unless you are dating a dude... There is no unicorn women that will not talk and talk and share the day unless is a tranny...