What are the escalation windows?

[Ryan]

I assume the escalation windows are:

1st escalation window: opening ---> gaining trust
2nd escalation window: gaining trust ---> creating an emotional connection
3rd escalation window: creating an emotional connection ---> achieving rapport/reaching the 'hook point'
4th escalation window: achieving rapport/reaching the 'hook point' ---> creating sexual tension/a sexual vibe
5th escalation window: creating sexual tension/a sexual vibe ---> moving her
6th escalation window: moving her ---> intimacy
7th escalation window: intimacy ---> sex

Is this correct?

 

[Desert Eagle]

I don't believe that they are so cut-and-dry. We can move much faster than these suggest!

Basically, from what I understand, an escalation window is a slot of time where we should be moving forward. If it feels like the girl is ready to get into isolation with you, the slot of time is determined by how long she is willing to wait before one of you can figure out the logistics of the situation.

Some of what were listed aren't really points in time. Gaining trust should come naturally. Creating an emotional connection is also formed over time, as is rapport. Sexual tension should increase throughout the interaction. The escalation window is the period of time where that tension is at an optimal point and doesn't spill over into auto-rejection.

 

[Ryan]

Hmm.. I think i wasn't clear enough.

What i understand about an escalation window is that it's when your priority in that part of the conversation shifts closer to your final target (closing).

1st escalation window: aim to gain trust
2nd escalation window: aim to create an emotional connection
(a certain change in reaction from her/signal of interest would mean the second escalation window is open. This is where your priority changes from trying to gain trust, to creating an emotional connection).
3rd escalation window: aim to reach the 'hook point'
4th escalation window: aim to create high sexual tension
5th escalation window: aim to move her
6th escalation window: aim to become intimate
7th escalation window: aim to progress to sex

 

[Desert Eagle]

I think the term you are looking for is 'transition points'. There's a board section it, which may help you to find what you are looking for. viewforum.php?f=20

 

[Ryan]

... I think you're right. Now i have to find out what on earth escalation windows are! Is there only 1 escalation window in a conversation?

 

[Pato]

Ryan,

Read Chase's article for a better understanding: Escalation Windows. I haven't read all of it, but it's got a lot of good stuff on dealing with escalation windows, how to get through one, and how to recover from a missed one. I'm not sure if it deals with specific windows though.

The term escalation window, in my understanding, is really just a period of time that you have to move things forward with a girl. So some of what you said applies, but the major ones really are moving her, isolating her in a private location, kissing, getting intimate/having sex, etc. You are escalating and moving the interaction forward, and one step closer to sex. The "window" part basically just means that you have a certain amount of time to do it (the escalating) before it closes and you risk her shutting you out.

1st escalation window: aim to gain trust
2nd escalation window: aim to create an emotional connection
(a certain change in reaction from her/signal of interest would mean the second escalation window is open. This is where your priority changes from trying to gain trust, to creating an emotional connection).
3rd escalation window: aim to reach the 'hook point'
4th escalation window: aim to create high sexual tension
5th escalation window: aim to move her
6th escalation window: aim to become intimate
7th escalation window: aim to progress to sex

Yeah, these aren't completely escalation windows. I think your list is almost like a process or set of goals, but I wouldn't really call them escalation windows. Why? Because some of the list (trust, emotional connection, hook point, high tension) are things that happens over time and throughout the whole interaction. It's not like she will trust you for a certain amount of time and then suddenly stop trusting you because you failed to move her, or that there will be an emotional connection and then it stops completely if you didn't move her. Maybe a better way to look at it is that you don't escalate to trust or to a connection or tension, those things happen as the interaction goes on and as you are talking. Basically it is when she's ready for you to move forward with her, and if you miss it, she's more likely to auto-reject.

Maybe one of the more experienced guys on the board can come up with a better explanation of it, but this is my understanding of it. If you're still kind of confused, let me know, maybe I can clear some things up.

-Pato

 

[Ryan]

Okay, i read that article, and i'm still really confused

What's the difference between a transition point and an escalation window? Both are points in time where the girl's mood changes and you need to take advantage of that moment to increase the deepness of the interaction, right? They seem synonymous..

 

[Marty]

Ryan:

Transition point is when you've successfully hit an escalation window and now you need to get her from A to B to isolate and get intimate. For example, from approach point to instadate location; from date location to your car; from your car to your home. (As you're a Londoner, replace car with "Tube" if you wish!) The recommendation is to keep conversation light and airy, and this is the only time when it's recommended to take the social burden of conversation upon yourself (to keep her mind off of any awkwardness).

Escalation window is when things are just on the point of getting weird and conversation dries up, meaning you need to take the initiative to move forward to the next stage, whatever that may be. Here's a good example from NarrowJ:

LR: Christmas Shopping Insta-date (NarrowJ)

Cue to the part where the girl says: “So you said you were just going to just like, look at some books or whatever?” NarrowJ, being an experienced cat, immediately jumps on that and gets her out of the coffee shop to a more suggestive, date-like location.

Next: forward to where she says: “Well, I’m not really a good girl.” Again, NarrowJ reads between the lines and and moves her again: to her apartment, of all places!

Then the clincher: where he writes “I come back out of the bathroom and she’s on the couch turning on her laptop and says she wants to show me something.” She's looking for him to take the lead yet again, and he doesn't disappoint her!

There are probably more in there if you look closely. Read Mr. Rob's analysis further down the thread: it's very, very instructive.

Here's another one, by Zphix this time:

LR: Christmas Shopper (Zphix)

See if you can spot the escalation windows yourself. Hint: they're very close together... this was highly compressed, a real professional job.

Hope this helps!

-Marty

 

[Ryan]

Hey Marty, thanks for your help.

I'm still a bit confused though. You say transition points only apply for when you need to get her from A (the place you are now) to B (the place where you can be intimate). Chase seems to allude to that too in his article: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-b ... ore-lovers

'Both commenters are asking about something I call "transition points" – those moments in an interaction with a woman where it's time for you to take things to the next level... if you can only figure out how.'


This is where I'm confused. Are these therefore not transition points? But escalation windows? Or just process?

1st escalation window/transition point/stage of process: aim to gain trust
2nd escalation window/transition point/stage of process: aim to create an emotional connection
3rd escalation window/transition point/stage of process: aim to reach the 'hook point'
4th escalation window/transition point/stage of process: aim to create high sexual tension
5th escalation window/transition point/stage of process: aim to move her
6th escalation window/transition point/stage of process: aim to become intimate
7th escalation window/transition point/stage of process: aim to progress to sex

Each stage begins when the woman responds to you in a slightly warmer way, so you need to change your priorities from (for example) building trust, to building an emotional connection.
You still want to build and maintain trust, but when she starts warming to you and asking you questions, it's less important (as she trusts you somewhat anyway). So you need to change your priority from building trust to building an emotional connection, to keep moving things forward to 'take things to the next level' as Chase puts it.

However, you and Pato describe these as escalation windows. Which is what I first thought they were.

Although they all cannot create the scenario where you need to get from A to B (to intimacy) (only the 6th stage is where you need to shift your priority to becoming intimate), they agree with Chase's rule that they are times during the conversation where you need to take things to the next level.

 

[Richard]

1st escalation window/transition point/stage of process: aim to gain trust
2nd escalation window/transition point/stage of process: aim to create an emotional connection
3rd escalation window/transition point/stage of process: aim to reach the 'hook point'
4th escalation window/transition point/stage of process: aim to create high sexual tension
5th escalation window/transition point/stage of process: aim to move her
6th escalation window/transition point/stage of process: aim to become intimate
7th escalation window/transition point/stage of process: aim to progress to sex

Maybe an analogy might help you out. Are you familiar with Monroe's Motivated Sequence for speeches? If not

Attention: Hey! Listen to me, you have a PROBLEM!
Need: Let me EXPLAIN the problem.
Satisfaction: But, I have a SOLUTION!
Visualization: If we IMPLEMENT my solution, this is what will happen. Or, if we don't implement my solution, this is what will happen.
Action: You can help me in this specific way. Can you help me?

The speech doesn't have to be given in that particular order, but in any combination of the above mentioned.

Same thing with your transition/escalation windows, which in actuality I guess you could call stages. Your aim is to always be moving closer to sex/intimacy, whatever outcome you want, you always want to be moving towards it.

So it could be Open --> Light banter --> Rapport ---> Deep dive/ Sex/ Chase frames ---> Compliance ---> Sex/Date

As long as you're moving towards the goal. If you're in light banter, you don't want to stay there, if you're using sex frames you want to look to escalate.

Escalation windows typically are the amount of time you have to make a move with a girl before that initial attraction and sexual attraction wares off

I've left some room for questions so feel free to reply.

Cheers,

-Richard

 

[Light]

Escalation Window explained simply:

"When the Iron is hot and ready to be hammered" - which basically means, make your move at the peak of interest / interaction / conversation / tension.

A few examples:
- The two of you are laughing and enjoying the moment together - ask her for a date or her number.
- The both of you catches each others eyes, and tension starts to build - you go for the kiss.
- She plays with her her, giggles and teases you, lots of investment with you - you grab her hand and "say come with me" then lead her to some where else.