What are the most common mistakes guys make initiating sex w/ a GF he is living w/?

[sinksink]

Shitty idea to ask her to set up a time each day for sex? Otherwise I imagine it will be me approaching her, asking if she's busy, then if 'no' kissing/groping and hoping it leads to sex. Any better ideas?

Trying to not be annoying or needy

 

[Vision]

Yeah, here's a better idea...

Walk up behind her, stand really close to her, smell the back of her neck, slide your fingers up through the back of her hair, grab a bunch of that hair into a fist, bite her neck, bend her over, pull her pants down, and fuck her like you're a god damn fucking man.

If she has a problem with it, she can make clear signals that she doesn't want to do it.

Walking up and asking...

"Hey baby... maybe if it's okay with you... I can maybe get some tonight... do you think maybe that's okay?"

That will turn you into a roommate who never has sex.

Turn yourself into a motherfucking man and stake claim to what is yours.

 

[Chase]

@sinksink,

Otherwise I imagine it will be me approaching her, asking if she's busy, then if 'no' kissing/groping and hoping it leads to sex. Any better ideas?

Why not just slap/pinch her ass while she's cooking dinner... come up behind her and feel up her tits when she's sitting at her desk... tell her to come sit on your lap when you're both on the couch watching something... tell her you're taking a shower and tell her to join you... spoon her once you both go to bed and start rubbing her pussy?

Living together gives you a huge range of times, places, and ways to initiate sex.

"Let's schedule Sexy Time to be a 3 PM sharp on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays," is not going to work (unless she's, like, a female autist or something).

Make it fun, make it spontaneous.

And train her to initiate too. That makes your job even easier...!

Chase

 

[Vision]

To ping off of what @Chase is saying here, some women like to be "warmed up" first for it as well... which is something that you can do throughout the day and even make her end up being the initiator for it.

So if you play with her, here and there, throughout the day, she's more likely to be primed and wanting it later on.

Walking up and just smelling her neck while she's doing something or working.

As you walk by her, give her some "I want to fuck you" eyes and if she asks what it was about, tell her that you'll tell her later.

Tell her that you need to tell her something and then get close enough to whisper into her ear, take a deep breathe, and then say, "you smell so fucking hot right now" and then pull back and continue the conversation like nothing happened.

When she's in the kitchen doing something, just walk over to her and bite her neck or pull her hair (in a sexual way) and then just walk away and go about your business.

Send her a text message that says, "I want to do dirty things to you" and she asks what, don't tell her or just totally change the subject.

If you have a "this is when and where and how we're going to have sex every day" it's going to get boring, stale, and feel like a chore, especially for her... and depending on her sex drive and stress levels, it could turn into something she doesn't want.

Instead, you want there to be an air unpredictability or uncertainty with it. That's what creates and drives passion and excitement in a relationship.

Most people don't do that because it takes a lot of time, thought, attention, and habit in order to constantly change things (I've been there).

You want to stay away from everything being completely routine though, if you can.

 

[0---]

And train her to initiate too. That makes your job even easier...!

Excellent answers, both of the above are spot on.


Two notes to expand on this idea:
1) If you screened well for high sex drive, you won't have to do too much training.
2) Be careful with encouraging this too much if you're a strong Thrill of the Chase type man. It may reduce your desire for her if she's coming on to you too much/too often. Know yourself and calibrate to your needs.

 

[Wick]

I'd like to add, you should be doing all the fundamental stuff to keep yourself attractive.

Just like you don't want to meekly request sex, you don't want to meek and indecisive in general. You want to make sure you're behaving like a man she wants to fuck.

I've noticed people have little schedules and routines. I had an ex that we'd wake up together and have sex before our eyes full opened. Another ex wouldn't wake up until hours later than me and she'd be very irritable if I disturbed her sleep.

Often my exgf would initiate sex as much as I would. No doubt, my keeping myself attractive helped.

When I think back on the most reliable way I'd be able to initiate sex, it was cuddling. Like they say, spooning leads to forking. I'd hold her close and snuggle, then start to do what I wanted to her (caressing her neck, playing with her tits, grabbing her ass, making out, etc.), and she'd start getting horny.

 

[0---]

You're 100% right, keeping focus on fundamentals is still just as important if not more when in an LTR.

Never stop lifting weights.