What can I Use my Summer to do ad a High School Chump

[Troy]

[/b As what the title says, that's exactly what I save been thinking about before approaching writing up this post. I'm in high school for those of you who don't know. So my parents don't really allow me to go put, they don't help fund me even bus fare to go out in the summer so I'm stuck at home. my parents refer to any money spent to go out other than educational (school), church, or charity is a waste of money so when I say I want to go out and socialize I don't get to go anywhere plus since my parents know already that I don't have any of those sensible activities going to, I don't have an excuse to get me even bus fare to go out. I was going to write up on this but I changed my mind after thinking to myself, " Hey I don't really have any options but to stay home all summer and shoot the breeze so why complain about it on the girls Chase forums to guys like myself who don't have time to read sob stories. let me see what I can make use of the time I have so when September comes and school starts, I would have upgraded on things I have weak spots in."


So to correct this problem, I have come up with a solution to practise every single one of my fundamentals EVERYDAY FOR THE NEXT TWO MONTHS. I will start by listing my major weak fundamental areas at the current moment and go down the list. Some advice out there says it takes one month to internalize new habits, some days three months. In fact, a guest article on gc had some advice on this. I think it's titled " how to create new habits".



Voice


Everyday when I wake up, the first exercise I will be doing to improve my voice is to remain lying in bed while doing diaphragm exercises. I recently found out while doing some research that I save a breathing problem when I speak, especially when I'm talking to a cute girl and my voice strains and their feels like I have a lump in my throat. This really became a big hindrance in going out and talking to girls when every time I try so say a simple "hello", I end up saying "swtthhhhaeloloo" to every girl I open and it has seen very embarrassing for me that many times I end up not approaching more than two girls on each outing.

To do the diaphragm exercise, I lie I bed and I put one hand on my stomach and the other hand on my chest. Then I focus on breathing using only my stomach. The goal as so not make the chest move, only the stomach should go up and down. Wiggly wiggly wormy wormy; has anyone ever heard of that or belly dancing? yea something like that. In fact, a lot of techniques used in yoga also help with this according to research I have a one. so maybe I'll give it a try in the future when I start working and can afford that.


While doing these exercises, I had a little weird thought in mind. what if I do age we belly breathing exercises and I end up becoming the next big belly ninja. I mean if every day I'm pushing out my stomach when breathing then won't it eventually lead to me developing a bigger belly? no so far nothing like that has occurred. I now feel much calmer, even though I must admit, I still haven't gotten down this technique when meeting women but I feel calmer when I'm around family. It's not perfect yet but I'm improving. If anyone reading this has problems with speech then I would recommend the first step is to look it up online for more advice on this and exercises to try out.


A second technique that I have employed to learning how to stop stuttering is reading out aloud while voice recording it then listening it over and over again. I do this for 1 hour everyday. First I drink some water to feel refreshed and I normally stand up and read from basically any book I choose. I think it's very important here to fix my posture while doing this since when I'm meeting girls, most times I won't be seated. If you have a smartphone, you could download app to help with this. I personally don't think it's needed and its a waste of money to Joe co consider it but if you have the funds and want to then go ahead. One that I have downloaded before is "stutter help trial". I don't use it anymore though because of the limited trial version. I just use voice recorder, my ear buds and a book. Easy as 1_2_3_.



Posture, Facial Expressions and Walk

I don't have any advice to talk on this apart from saying that I will be using the advice that Chase has in oh is great articles on this.. zone thing I will add to my to do list air the summer is that while I'm at home, I'll practise my posture and walk throughout the day every time I walk stand up or look on the mirror.. Also, since I'm working on my Alice, I'll.be practising coordinating my facial expressions by looking in a mirror.



Wrap Up


I left out a few other fundamentals like my fashion, facial hairstyle and such because whose are fundamentals that persons always complement me on so I guess I'm not going to focus a whole lotion that; at least for now.

I left out a few things so questions and comments are welcome

Troy

 

[metomeya]

Are you going to College next year? It says you are 18 in your profile.

I really think it is better to work on your strengths and acknowledge and work around your weaknesses. Trust me, you can exponentially improve your strengths, but weaknesses will take forever to improve just a little bit.

Looking back to my high school years, every summer was the "I'm going to improve myself summer." All those summers were really just a waste. I should have just started to live the life I wanted to live. Or start working towards my independence.

What I would focus on for you is securing your independence. Don't count on some college loan from the government to give it to you, work on it now.

Visit your neighbors and ask for odd jobs (the younger you are the more likely they will say yes). Mow the yard, clean their garage, whatever.

You can use that money for the bus. But I would save up for some other mode of transportation. A bike can increase your radius by 10 miles (you might have to work up to it, but 10 miles is the norm) and you should be able to find some steady employment. From there you can save up for a scooter. From there I wouldn't go to a motorcycle (a little to fast and dangerous for my taste), but a used car (do Carmax if you know nothing about Cars...you may pay a little bit more, but you won't have to worry about the engine exploding on you when you drive it off the lot).

Sounds to me your parent's excuse to only spend on education, church, or charity is really just a means to try to control you.

And if that is the case, they'll probably keep doing it when you are in college (but with different tactics...guilt, pressure, even lying about situations).

Besides, once you work on and get your independence you'll start building real skills that will help you get girls.

Trust me, work on your independence now, or else you'll end up like a lot of kids these days...back in their parent's house after college.

 

[Troy]

Hey Metomeya,


Yes, as you said, I'm 18 now and as you asked if I'm going to college next year, that's a good question. Coming September I will spend my last senior high school year at a new high school then after that year I'm not sure I want to go to college. As you said about gaining independence, that's true and I've thought about that a lot. I just prefer to go get a job sooner rather than later instead of slaving away 4 to 6 more years in college. My career path is to become an executive chef or an architect and those two careers take more than 4 years.



And the part you wrote about lots of kids finishing college and ending up back at there parents house is so true and to add to that, many of them after spending 2+ years in college still don't get a job till after about 1 year later. And that's just sad to see. When I look at that, I imagine what it would look like for the average young person.

They leave high school at age 18 to 19

Go to college and graduate at at least age 21, some end up coming out at age 25 or so if they are doing long courses. Then they spend the next 2 to 5 years living at home with parents and putting back most of the money they earn back into paying off there college fees.



Then some go rent a house by age 30 and get married by 35 then buy their first house.

That's just a rough sketch of how it goes many times and that's not my style. I'm sure the majority of g.c. forum users don't want to end up in such a position.


In terms of independence, you mentioned getting a bike or scooter. A bike sounds good to me because it would save in money. I would however save up my money to buy my first home. Probably a two bedroom house in a nice area close to the city then I'll get my bike .


I think that would sort out my logistics. Indepence is very important and what my parents are doing iris just limiting my ability to improve. I'm not allowed to go to even parties with friends so it's just torture. How the hell will I improve then! I even explained to my parents the reason why I want to go out; to meet girls and they said that's stupid and I should stay home and do some work and read some books.



In terms of what I said about college, I still want to go to college but not until I buy my home then I could rent it out while I do my college course.


By the way, what are some things that you worked on improving in your summer high school years?

Troy

 

[metomeya]

I feel for you buddy.

Oh geez, I can't remember. That is so long ago for me. But I do remember one thing. Have you ever watched Dragonballz? You know that one scene where Goku is working out his abs with gravity boots in 100x earth's gravity? I built my own gravity boots (well not really gravity boots, but what I did worked) so I could workout my abs like that. Almost killed myself in the process. Only did it for one day.

Point is the above was just a project, not real self-improvement. Self-improvement is something you can work on everyday. Projects are usually just distractions. That is why I'm a big advocate to do a sport in High School (even if you aren't a jock) because it will force you to do it 5 days of the week and you'll get in the best shape of your life. Exercise has also been shown to be the ONLY thing to consistently grow new brains cells.

If you do a sport you might become friends with someone with a car so they can drive to the clubs/parties on the weekends.

If you are afraid of getting hurt (or if you parents are) do tennis. Worst thing that can happen at your age is a twisted ankle.

For your two career choices, the ONLY way you will know for sure if you want to do it is to get work experience. I would see if you can work as a host, waiter assistant, or barback so you can see what it is like to work in the restaurant bushiness. I would also see about getting an architecture internship in the summer before you start college.

For help on getting an internship, check out point 1 on the article I wrote about succeeding in college.

Also, I came across some apps that might help you (heard it from the CollegeInfoGeek Podcast another great resource). Check out the phone app called Lift and another called HabitRPG. They might help you stay on track. Here is the podcast talking about the apps.

Sorry if I'm coming off laming giving you too much information. Just passionate about people not making the same mistakes I made when I was young.

 

[metomeya]

About waiting for a house before going to college...I don't know.

I think what helps people do well & have fun in college (and find a job after) is finding friends and a peer group they belong to. If you end up waiting 1-3 years before going to college because you want a house first, you'll be in much older than everyone else. But maybe you'll figure out how to get a house by the time you graduate high school.

If you can rent it out that is great, but if not...when you factor in taxes, inflation, upkeep, and repairs...you usually break even. In other words, there really is no financial benefit in owning a house compared to renting an apartment. And with an apartment you won't be stuck with a mortgage.

If I did college all over again, I would have done my 4 years and gotten out right away. I think part of me was scared of the "real world" and scared that my college years would be the best years of my life and since my first 4 years sucked, I stayed longer hoping to redeem myself, but never really did.

The longer you stay, the more debt you get in. Plus, when you start getting a paycheck then you can really have some fun.

 

[Troy]

Metomeya,

Yes I agree that having a good set of friends is important and very helpful. Having people who care actually wades off depression and makes people live longer and look younger for longer.

At my school, I have done a bit of table tennis and extensively done track and field for 4 years. So I'm pretty fit. I also do a bit of weight lifting but not a lot since I do the sprints and sprinters don't need to become body builders. I have put that on hold though because I don't see enough net returns to continue when I'm lacking a social life. It's really hard to keep up when I don't have social support. I have a few friends but they aren't close and none of them own a car. I think it's a bit different here in the Caribbean where persons don't own cars so young.



From what you said about it being hard to go back to college after working and owning my own home, that's true that I will be older than most folks. Still do you think it would be wise to have my own home and balance a social life?


Apart from just limitations freedom at home, is also a lot of fighting and constant arguments. Even right now my family is fighting. I don't think it is healthy for me. I keep thinking, if my parents send me to college, it's not like I will live on college grounds. My parents told me they can't afford that plus they don't want me so far away. If I was to go, I have to be home by xyz time because they are paying the fee so rules are rules. That cancels out going abroad to do college so that meansrslaving away 5 more years to buy a house then if I feel satisfied with my job position, then I would just forget about college. To be honest I feel a bit lost because I don't have the ready social skills to go out the door and my own family won't support my needs.



I think that if I was to spend another years at home while going to college then I would be 26 years old when leaving college and would have to work another 4 years to pay back the college loans. Then I'm 30 years old and I'm still living at home, just paused off my loans and haven't gotten the time to go out and socialize which means I'm still almost the same person I am now. To me that is a nightmare.


Let's say I go out at 8am to reach my college and its 8 hours for the entire day. I have to be home before 8pm or else I'm in big trouble. What about the persons on college hooking up, joining night fray parties and having a good time? I will be at home watching some t.v. then hitting the books because it's the rule. That sounds like torture. And not to mention when I finally get out of college, I'm still stuck at home and would have to work within a 3 year limit to pay back the student loan. My parents wouldn't have all the money to pay. So I'm 29 now. Just played my loan.



I'm totally confused. Everyday seems like time is running short on me to achieve my goals. Seriously Confused.


And above you said that you worked the summer as a self Improvement period. What were some things you worked on improving?

Troy

 

[metomeya]

Hey Troy,

Like I mentioned above, I don't really remember what I did exactly during those summers. It was along time ago.

Since you are from the Caribbean and not the United States, I might not be the best person to advise you when it comes to college. In the United States, it is a given that the government will loan you enough money to live at the dorms (or enough to pay for an apartment with roommates). You may not have a car, but you will be surrounded with kids your own age at the college campus and have a lot of independence from your parents.

However, given your situation, I would suggest you find and talk to some different people from your Caribbean country who are currently in or graduated from college. See what they did in their situation.

Also, try to look for a college internet forum with people from your country. They should be able to give you advice that USA students would know nothing about.

Finally, instead of focusing on self improvement so much, why don't you just focus on having fun and making a little bit of money on the side for the rest of the summer. Like you said, time flies and it is no different when you go to college. You'll probably just regret focusing on self improvement so much. I guarantee you have enough social skills to get by (anyone who is thoughtful does and you clearly are given your posts). So don't worry about it.

You seem very stressed about accomplishing certain things at certain ages. In my experience, it is usually those people who don't achieve what they should at certain ages. Happiness has to do with making the most of the current situation and resources at hand and not trying to force or over stress about things. And typically the people with that attitude do succeed in life.

Enjoy the moment.

Sorry I can't be anymore help.

 

[Troy]

Hey Metomeya,


I implemented some of your advice so far on getting a job. I'm currently doing delivery work with my father 5 days a week now. We Don't have the strongest bond but by working with my dad, then he'll not have to pay strangers to do the work, plus I get the money. The only thing is sometimes he acts like paying me is a bother because I'm ##FAMILY## and as they always say, family don't like working together because they don't like paying together. Still, looking on the bright side, I'm still earning more money than if I was walking around town and sweeping up shops and lifting things for people so I can't complain. So no worries there plus by the time summer is finished, I would have enough money to buy some new clothes and other stuff I want. It won't be enough to buy a bike but I'll have enough left over savings to start that project.



I'll see what I can do to ask to get more advice on college related stuff and see what path I should take. There are quite a few colleges near to me so I'll start with them. In terms of college, persons have told me that it's better to go to college now rather than 6 years from now and you said it too. So yes, I think that's the best path to go down.


And in terms of you saying about having fun, I agree, enjoying life is the best medication no matter the circumstances. I'm really stressed, thinking that I need to get my own home before my parents drive me crazy. If me and my family could straighten out certain things, then I would probably get togo to college and board there, get a loan, and see what fun adventures I'll run into.


One of the biggest but most forgotten thing I see with learning "seduction and game" is a reminder to have fun, live, laugh and love life. That's one reason why I would never forget that while I am in "the game" , remember to get out too before it turns a man into a mental robot seducer. As a matter of fact, I'm doing some research on learning to have fun and if I get to crack this but, I'll post a topic on this on here.


I see so many guys talking about learning game like it's some world war 6 they are preparing for. Sometime this might be helpful but the natural method is what I prefer and I would encourage anyone to try this method.



Thanks for the advice above, you answered most of my questions already; I'll just ask around people who are older than myself. Your advice was well appreciated.

Troy