What do I do in this situation?

[superomar]

Well I had this girl wanting me, texted her after a coffee date saying i had a good time. She said she had a lovely time as well, texted me later saying this. Here is the conversation:

Her: I have so many questions to ask you now that I'm clear headed.

Me; Haha, playing a little bit of detective now are we? What kind of questions ______?

Her: What makes you mad the most out of everything?

Me: I dont get angry quite too often, but there are a few things that push my buttons here and there. Instead of us being open books over endless texting, shall we get coffee or a drink sometime this week or the next?

Her: I want to know right now though, I don't know. I have a lot of stuff going on

What do I say? Thank you in advance to this awesome community, its truely changed my life

 

[superomar]

Do you have class anywhere from 2 to 5:30 on Mondays and Wednesdays?

She just texted me that after i didnt reply for three hours, someone help me out quick, ill be greatful


Update: just said this, could I have done it better? : Haha well you'll have to wait. I feel as if texting wouldn't be a valid means of helping you understand why some things push my buttons. I actually have no classes on those days, why, did you finally realize how much you missed me and wanted us to get another coffee?

update 2:

She replied,

Her: no classes??? stop that. You are intriguing to me, and if I am not to you let me know and I won't waste your time

Me: I'm just an ambitious wanderer trying to accomplish my life goals, if that's what you call intriguing. We've just been quite busy, however you have me intrigued. No classes whatsoever, why? (fucked up here, should have said: We've just been quite busy, and do you have me intrigued? still figuring that one out )

Her; That's not what I find intriguing at all

Me: Well what about me has gotten you trying to figure out when I don't have class?

Her: That's like my only free time

Me: Ah so it's your way of telling me when you have time to seduce me. I've got a few things to do on those days, but we can meet up some other time in the future

Anything I could have done better? Im stuck

 

[superomar]

Update 3: Her: Oh my God, You are super cocky

Still need help, somehow need to close

 

[topcat]

Hey Omar,
In regards to rectifying this situation I think you'll have to wait for one of the more experienced guys to answer your question, but I can offer my 2 cents as to where I think you went wrong and how you might avoid this next time.

Me: I dont get angry quite too often, but there are a few things that push my buttons here and there. Instead of us being open books over endless texting, shall we get coffee or a drink sometime this week or the next?

I think you were being a little too literal here. I think what you should have done is kept with the "I don't get angry quite too often..." and added something mildy ridiculous and true but humorous after, like "...though stubbing my toe can put me in quite the rage " (you can probably do better than that, this was off the top ). My reasoning behind this would be to maintain a level of relatability ("i don't get mad often" = high value, mild humour = relatable). With this, she'd probably say something like "you're silly " or along those lines, and now with the pressure taken off the conversation (the pressure built by whatever was pressing her to ask such a probing question), you could then move off into setting up a second date. This date would be alot more appealing to her now given that it would be based on positive feelings and not "let's meet up to talk about what makes me mad" (lol you see where i'm coming from?). With this i think everything trhat followed in this convo could've been avoided, it really seemed like she was trying to convince you to knock off the games and relate to her in the convo that followed. Hope this helps for the future ...and to those with more experience, please offer better advice if you have it, this is just what I would've done.

Best of luck with this one.

 

[superomar]

Hey Omar,
In regards to rectifying this situation I think you'll have to wait for one of the more experienced guys to answer your question, but I can offer my 2 cents as to where I think you went wrong and how you might avoid this next time.

Me: I dont get angry quite too often, but there are a few things that push my buttons here and there. Instead of us being open books over endless texting, shall we get coffee or a drink sometime this week or the next?

I think you were being a little too literal here. I think what you should have done is kept with the "I don't get angry quite too often..." and added something mildy ridiculous and true but humorous after, like "...though stubbing my toe can put me in quite the rage " (you can probably do better than that, this was off the top ). My reasoning behind this would be to maintain a level of relatability ("i don't get mad often" = high value, mild humour = relatable). With this, she'd probably say something like "you're silly " or along those lines, and now with the pressure taken off the conversation (the pressure built by whatever was pressing her to ask such a probing question), you could then move off into setting up a second date. This date would be alot more appealing to her now given that it would be based on positive feelings and not "let's meet up to talk about what makes me mad" (lol you see where i'm coming from?). With this i think everything trhat followed in this convo could've been avoided, it really seemed like she was trying to convince you to knock off the games and relate to her in the convo that followed. Hope this helps for the future ...and to those with more experience, please offer better advice if you have it, this is just what I would've done.

Best of luck with this one.

Update: Last text I sent back after what she said: (; I'll let you know when I'm free soon (thinking I could drop off the earth for a bit and play the game on my own terms, but then I forgot to mention that shes in my lit class..)


This was very great advice to be honest, Ill deff keep my mind on this one for next time. Throwing in a bit of humor releases tension, something I had built hardcore with her. One thing I also need to work on is connecting better with the massive amounts of deep diving I was doing on the coffee date. But anyways, here is my update. I actually forgot to mention that shes in my lit class, and as a class room pull this was a challenge on itself. We were assigned groups today, and she just so happened to be in mine, I could feel the sexual tension between us in class, but I we talked like we were in a group with a sly smile from us here and there. Later, even worse, a couple friends have a smoke sesh, and shes sitting outside in the smoking section having a smoke. She looks at us and asks if she can join, now me being the usual leader couldn't just refuse and say hey no you cant come, that would've probably auto rejected her. So it ends up being me and two guys, and this cute girl, in the beginning of the sesh she turns to my friends and says you should watch out for this guy hes good with his words. And I say what are you talking about, with a sly smile, she goes off on a rant about how I frustrate her and how smooth I am, then I give her this look, and she automatically says "did you think you were gonna get in my pants or something?" I shrugged and she goes with this wide look on her face "you totally weren't gonna get in my pants!" (saving face apparently) She seemed like she was starting to get angry, and I didn't wanna risk any hostility, so I looked at her and said, "Hey look, what happened, happened. I'm just acting like my normal self, you and I will be friends now" she says okay cool, and that was that. Onto the next one.

 

[Marty]

Hey superomar, after reading through this it seems to me you didn't pick up on something that actually struck me full force right away.

In her very first text to you after the date, she concludes... "Now that I'm clear-headed."

What on Earth might that mean, do you think? It was only coffee you were drinking, so she could hardly have been intoxicated. Better text her back and clarify, you might learn something interesting about her! Perhaps she was intoxicated... by YOU! If that's the case, get her to admit it and thus invest!

-Marty

 

[superomar]

Hey superomar, after reading through this it seems to me you didn't pick up on something that actually struck me full force right away.

In her very first text to you after the date, she concludes... "Now that I'm clear-headed."

What on Earth might that mean, do you think? It was only coffee you were drinking, so she could hardly have been intoxicated. Better text her back and clarify, you might learn something interesting about her! Perhaps she was intoxicated... by YOU! If that's the case, get her to admit it and thus invest!

-Marty

Actually correction on that, we had smoked some mary in my car before the coffee, where I had pulled off some really smooth incidental touches I might add