What do women think, when they see you approach other girls?

[Skjöldr]

Hey guys. So i consistently approach girls in the gym. That means i see familiar faces. I see girls i have approached before and girls i wanna approach. I was wondering, even generally, what women think if they see you cold approach a girl (granted they recognize that's what you are doing) after having BF rejected you or something in the past? Do they think "Wow, he's confident, and just goes for it" or "Omg, he's just a player -.-"? Does it affect their perception of you positively or negatively?

 

[DarkKnight]

Peter.. you can definitely been seen as a player dude... I have had that happen to me, it didn't really sabotage me in any way.

But I did make one mistake the other day... I was talking to this pretty blonde, her girlfriend kept butting in. So I thought I would engage them later.. Meanwhile I was talking to others and other girls... the blonde close up afterwards -> I have a big feeling this is because of the excessive butterflying.
I would say being seen as a player doesn't hurt.. but butterflying too much when one of the girls who like you are around can definitely hurt.

Oh yeah... don't forget about jealousy.. One day there was this pretty brunette who gave me blatant AI.. looked at me and smiled so I approached her.. That same day a very tall beautiful blonde who I had never spoken yet, but of who I could sense she got frustrated with me, she basically autorejected there and then.. My preference would have been the blonde so I made an error there.

 

[Skills]

Now you understand why a lot of us do not like approaching at the gym?

yeah basically you do not want to be "that dude at the gym" that is the one hitting on all the women.... That is why in that other threat we were saying that we treat the gym as a low key social circle low key game (remember glow post i linked in the other one)....

 

[Gunwitch]

If you're in a major metro area get a membership at a place with 30 or 40 locations that all accept your membership. Solves any "gym player" doubts. MORE SO, great opportunity to just location to location hunt for new chicks.

Reality is though no one pays attention to you like you think they are, they're watching fuckin Keeping up with the Kardashians on the screen on their bike with headphones in.

I cut my teeth in a town with 40 thousand people, 2 night clubs of maybe 500 capacity, 10 bars of maybe 100, two gyms and a YMCA, couple busy parks. Never had a problem with "rep" or being "that guy". Only RARELY in social circles has that ever happened.

It's sort of like new guys who go "if I project sexual eye contact she will think i'm horny and be freaked out!" assuming they are of such skill to even do it that she will even realize it at a conscious level and judge him on it. NO haha. Same with "gym player" or "he approaches everyone yikes", you probably aren't anyplace near the ability to freak out women, because you are naturally gonna be more low key and stifled. I'm willing to bet your problem is never doing too much, its probably not enough as a rule.

You think about what others think about you far more than they actually even realize you're alive. You're so far under the radar you don't even know it yet. Rising to greater heights for you, maybe not you, but MOST who worry about shit like this, isn't about being more covert, it's about doing MORE.

Have fun!

Gun

 

[Skills]

multiple membership is a great idea for picking up at the gym...

But i am going to make a point when you are "sexy" type of guy with sex appeal, women look, that is why chase advices in the approach anxiety drills to sexy walk without talking/approaching to draw attention....

Lets say you play the numbers game and on average, 2 out of 10 women you can pick up. Now lets say, you approach the first 8 that you can’t get. Do you honestly think your state of mind is gonna be the same as if you found the 2 that are down first? Of course not, no matter how much confidence you have you are going to be affected. Not only that, if the 2 women that you can get have been watching you try to pick up the other 8, there’s a great chance they will no longer be interested. And trust me, if a woman has interest in you, you can sure as hell believe she has been watching you.

Why spam approaching does not work in clubs - The Skills Method

Why spam approaching does not work in night clubs.

www.theskillsmethod.com

^ you can get that type of rep. at the gym i have seen it...

 

[Gunwitch]

But i am going to make a point when you are "sexy" type of guy with sex appeal, women look

Not sure about Peter, but 99% of guys don't need to worry about that by any means . Some are even "that guy" and don't do shit, classic "Gymcels".

They are in their own head, not anyone elses and need to do more, not worry more.


Gun

 

[DarkKnight]

I have multiple gym memberships.. and I can certainly confirm: women look. Peters worries are valid, but the thing with commercial gyms is there is always a new influx of girls and I would say these are better to game than the regulars who already have huge social circles/worries.

I also think Peter definitely is above the radar, just look at his super energetic behaviour on the boards, I am certain he is already telegraphing.

Regardless I wouldnt worry about it.. I game at the gym with impunity.. the only real hassle has been other guys who get jealous and want to sabotage.

Within common sense: i do not view gyms as place you should not shit where you eat. It is not a workplace or anything like that. You cannot get fired, you are not forced to deal with office drama.

I honestly find these worries to be overblown.

There is this guy I know.. really nerdy but he tries to game every chick he encounters (he is hilarious), he ends up in the friendzone, but the social circle doesnt blow up on his face and he is veerry daring amd above the radar (bad game).

 

[Skills]

He is not in the typical american comercial gym, he is in a gym in Europ were is more like regulares and the same people over and over, think of it like a small club, and he is a regular, few few new people coming in here and there

 

[DarkKnight]

Skills I am Europe based too... I think my situation is not that different than him....

But I have to admit every gym seems to have a different kind of culture, so that might explain our heavily different perceptions

 

[Skjöldr]

Peter.. you can definitely been seen as a player dude... I have had that happen to me, it didn't really sabotage me in any way.

But I did make one mistake the other day... I was talking to this pretty blonde, her girlfriend kept butting in. So I thought I would engage them later.. Meanwhile I was talking to others and other girls... the blonde close up afterwards -> I have a big feeling this is because of the excessive butterflying.
I would say being seen as a player doesn't hurt.. but butterflying too much when one of the girls who like you are around can definitely hurt.

Oh yeah... don't forget about jealousy.. One day there was this pretty brunette who gave me blatant AI.. looked at me and smiled so I approached her.. That same day a very tall beautiful blonde who I had never spoken yet, but of who I could sense she got frustrated with me, she basically autorejected there and then.. My preference would have been the blonde so I made an error there.

Butterflying? I'm not constantly going back and forth to the same person. I will approach a girl once and i either get her number or i don't and then i leave. As i understand it, social butterflying is constantly going back and forth between people. I don't do that. I'm talking about the player part. I think maybe it could be a problem if a girl sees me approach a girl and i get rejected and then half an hour later i approach her. She will think "Ugh i'm just his next in line" she won't feel special and i'm just a horndog out to pick up girls. But you're saying being perceived as a player isn't a bad thing, interesting...

 

[DarkKnight]

Hey, coincidentally I pressed on your profile and saw that you were reading up on chases old post on social butterflying... with that I meant talking to a lot of people, not reengaging the same person over and over again.

Yes, what I am saying is being perceived as a player didnt really harm me. It only attracted would be amogs. But depends on what you mean with being a player.. if you do not really deep dive , qualify and are supremely superficial ofcourse that wont help. Girls want to feel special. Girls knowing that I get around hasnt harmed me though, at least I never saw any real evidence of that.

But what would be your alternative dude? Only focus on one girl and promis a monogamous relationship per gym..?

 

[Skjöldr]

Now you understand why a lot of us do not like approaching at the gym?

yeah basically you do not want to be "that dude at the gym" that is the one hitting on all the women.... That is why in that other threat we were saying that we treat the gym as a low key social circle low key game (remember glow post i linked in the other one)....

I know... my gym is small-medium. This is why i make sure to approach a girl the first time i see her. Currently i am dating 0 girls from the gym, which means, the girls i see in the gym i have approached have all either A) rejected me or B) fizzled out. I don't really care what they think honestly, but they could get ego-hurt if they see me approach some other girls and send out angry signals that other girls can pick up or? Women are the masters of sub-communication haha

 

[Skjöldr]

Hey, coincidentally I pressed on your profile and saw that you were reading up on chases old post on social butterflying... with that I meant talking to a lot of people, not reengaging the same person over and over again.

Yes, what I am saying is being perceived as a player didnt really harm me. It only attracted would be amogs. But depends on what you mean with being a player.. if you do not really deep dive , qualify and are supremely superficial ofcourse that wont help. Girls want to feel special. Girls knowing that I get around hasnt harmed me though, at least I never saw any real evidence of that.

But what would be your alternative dude? Only focus on one girl and promis a monogamous relationship per gym..?

I talk to alot of people in the gym simply because i'm a big regular there and know alot of people. Most i just greet, not talk to, but i do talk with some of them. I thought being perceived as a social, outgoing guy was gonna help with social proof and raise your value?

 

[DarkKnight]

Yes Peter but what I meant is when I talked with one chick who was already into me and very enthousiastic... and immediately talked to other guys and chicks thereafter.. in that specific instance our interaction became less "special".. pushed her into autorejection because it made me seem more superficial/less interested. With that one I need to show more warmth and qualify more...

 

[Skjöldr]

If you're in a major metro area get a membership at a place with 30 or 40 locations that all accept your membership. Solves any "gym player" doubts. MORE SO, great opportunity to just location to location hunt for new chicks.

Reality is though no one pays attention to you like you think they are, they're watching fuckin Keeping up with the Kardashians on the screen on their bike with headphones in.

I cut my teeth in a town with 40 thousand people, 2 night clubs of maybe 500 capacity, 10 bars of maybe 100, two gyms and a YMCA, couple busy parks. Never had a problem with "rep" or being "that guy". Only RARELY in social circles has that ever happened.

It's sort of like new guys who go "if I project sexual eye contact she will think i'm horny and be freaked out!" assuming they are of such skill to even do it that she will even realize it at a conscious level and judge him on it. NO haha. Same with "gym player" or "he approaches everyone yikes", you probably aren't anyplace near the ability to freak out women, because you are naturally gonna be more low key and stifled. I'm willing to bet your problem is never doing too much, its probably not enough as a rule.

You think about what others think about you far more than they actually even realize you're alive. You're so far under the radar you don't even know it yet. Rising to greater heights for you, maybe not you, but MOST who worry about shit like this, isn't about being more covert, it's about doing MORE.

Have fun!

Gun

Good idea with mixing it up with multiple gym locations, i have thought about it, but i'm lazy and have stuck to my local gym haha. But yeah, i'm a member of a big gym chain here with multiple locales. There is another one close i could go to if i wanted...

And about the last part, you're right, i have street approached girls in my city and they tell me i have already approached them before, but i don't really mind. I see the same faces occassionally, but i guess that happens when you go from spending 5 hours a week on the street in the city compared to 0 hours before. I will worry about it, if it becomes a pattern, i have told myself

 

[Skjöldr]

I have multiple gym memberships.. and I can certainly confirm: women look. Peters worries are valid, but the thing with commercial gyms is there is always a new influx of girls and I would say these are better to game than the regulars who already have huge social circles/worries.

I also think Peter definitely is above the radar, just look at his super energetic behaviour on the boards, I am certain he is already telegraphing.

Regardless I wouldnt worry about it.. I game at the gym with impunity.. the only real hassle has been other guys who get jealous and want to sabotage.

Within common sense: i do not view gyms as place you should not shit where you eat. It is not a workplace or anything like that. You cannot get fired, you are not forced to deal with office drama.

I honestly find these worries to be overblown.

There is this guy I know.. really nerdy but he tries to game every chick he encounters (he is hilarious), he ends up in the friendzone, but the social circle doesnt blow up on his face and he is veerry daring amd above the radar (bad game).

Ya my friend messaged me one day after i approached a girl writing "pick up master" and then he came over and we had a laugh, so some people certainly are aware. Idm though. I will stick to my rule of approaching girls first time i see them. If i ever run into a pattern of girls starting to auto-reject me, i will re-evaluate

 

[DarkKnight]

I'm sure youll do just fine Peter. I really like your youthful energy.

 

[Chase]

@Peterdk234,

You got great advice from @Gunwitch here!

I can't speak to the European gyms, so @Skills and @DarkKnight may have points.

However...

Does it matter what these girls who dismissed you whom you'll never talk to again?

Assuming you're not worried they're going to hate you and try to get you out of there... or swoop in on these girls to 'girl talk' them and sabotage your pick ups... I doubt it's all that relevant. Unless you're super egregious about it.

I was wondering, even generally, what women think if they see you cold approach a girl (granted they recognize that's what you are doing) after having BF rejected you or something in the past? Do they think "Wow, he's confident, and just goes for it" or "Omg, he's just a player -.-"? Does it affect their perception of you positively or negatively?

Depends on how the girl thinks about dating/sex and how blatant your attempts are.

If she's not a huge dater she's going to assume you're a player. If you weren't a player you'd approach for a few weeks or a month until you found a girlfriend and then you wouldn't be approaching anymore. If you're confident enough to approach a lot, and you're cool, she's going to know you're probably shagging some of these girls and CAN take them as girlfriends if you want. And she's going to know that you're choosing not to.

That said, if your approaches look pretty chill and aren't loud or crazy or anything, it shouldn't bother her a lot. Just "Oh, there is that guy who always talks to new girls again. Doing his thing. (shakes head)"

If she's more sexually experienced and a player or former player herself though, or if she's not that experienced but she's of the more sex positive variety, she'll tend to look at it and say, "Ooh, he's confident! Good guy! No wonder girls like him!"

A lot of this really comes down to similarity: if she's not a player herself, seeing you are a player makes her feel dissimilar to you, thus she dislikes you some more. If she is a player (or would like to be), realizing you're one makes her feel more similar to you, thus she likes you more.

What guys do by not displaying themselves in places they normally go is basically don't advertise how they are either way, so as to avoid any potential negative dissimilarity penalties with people they have to see regularly who don't/won't relate to that side of them.

Chase

 

[DarkKnight]

@Peterdk234,

If she's more sexually experienced and a player or former player herself though, or if she's not that experienced but she's of the more sex positive variety, she'll tend to look at it and say, "Ooh, he's confident! Good guy! No wonder girls like him!"

A lot of this really comes down to similarity: if she's not a player herself, seeing you are a player makes her feel dissimilar to you, thus she dislikes you some more. If she is a player (or would like to be), realizing you're one makes her feel more similar to you, thus she likes you more.

What guys do by not displaying themselves in places they normally go is basically don't advertise how they are either way, so as to avoid any potential negative dissimilarity penalties with people they have to see regularly who don't/won't relate to that side of them.

Chase

aha...

 

[DarkKnight]

I still believe these fears are really overblown. Time for some recent field reports :

------------------------------------
FR1: Today I enter the gym am dead tired... actually not interested in talking to anyone.. There is a group of girls nearby waiting for some ladies training course. One of them who is dressed with grey tight pants and cute pink shirt gives me an overt stare. She is a middle eastern type, but hot. Not my typical favourite, but solid 7,5. The pink makes her cuter. They enter their class.. I do my own thing. Their lesson is over and suddenly the girl is "coincidentally" near me.. which ofcourse is no coincidence. She looks around as if she is looking for something. Classic approach invitation.

So I open with cheeky smile "you look lost!"
she: no blablabla I was just exploring blabla
me: are you new to this gym blabla
she: no I am with my sister blabla (I know her sister, she is hotter than her sister that is for sure)
Meanwhile I am near but at the monkeybar.. she follows me and I know deadsure she likes me
We vibe talk about somet things. I give intriguebaits, keep a sexy dominant vibe.. The moment I ask her for her name she gets weird and puts a wall. She is walking away, so I ask , are you going to be back at this gym. She says still friendly "no I don't think so".

Conclusion : she was probably very attracted but I felt there was some kind of barrier. Maybe she was taken, maybe because her sister was near. But fact that she followed me and hovered around me, together with the strong stare she had at the beginning I am sure she did in fact like me. If I see her next time again, I will use intrigue and pull.

-------------------------

FR2: Again today. Half hour after the other one. There is this chick working out at the leg raise apparatus. I am talking with a friend, from the mirror I see her looking at me more than once. She looked asian like to me right there and I found her kinda cute. So I mosey over near a hamstring machine next to her and do half set. distance is 2 meters or so.

So I open with great bullshit "hey I do not know how your machine works can you show me" (OFCOURSE I FUCKING KNOW. IT'S BULLSHIT OPENER)

She says sure but is timid and I sense a wall, but it is caused by attainability.. when I got near I noticed she is not that hot... I got her a bit warmer and I am certain I could push the interaction but anything which is below a 7 is below my paygrade. She was quite nice and warm though... But it didn't cut it. Also weird but.. when she was near I noticed she was not asian type, her make up confused me.

--------------------------------------

Now I am going to give FR3

FR3: This was a month or so ago.. I had a HUGE BLOWOUT in public. In the chicks defense I came on kinda strong (@Skills warned me against this, but she overreacted extremely.

Me: Bullshit opener (No idea what it was, again it was a month ago)
Her: Why are you talking to me blabla (Again I have no idea what the exact words were, month ago)
She raised her voice and made the rejection very public. There were people near.. Basically it was why the fuck am I talking to her, she rather wants to be alone.

My reaction: I smiled at her in a "(you're acting weird) kinda way. I backturned her, talked and playfighted with the girl next to me (as if nothing happened). Girl next to me was already very into me. Basically I reframed the shit as her being super weird.

In the background: girl mentions loudly in a explanatory way to one of the trainers about her "husband". She mentioned her husband suddenly 5 times or so. It was a-typical. Basically what she was doing was qualifying to the trainer why she overreacted this hard and the husband is the explanation .

Later on I understood that this girl is from the same ethnicity as I am. I had no idea, she recognized it with me immediately. These girls are raised with huge anti slut defenses and when a guy like me comes near they immediately think we are trying to woo them and marry them (lol a lot of times this is true, but not for darkknight, so they have a point). But I have a grudge with them because they can overreact and break balls, supposedly out of virtue.. So for future young dark knights I see it as my duty to put them in place so they at least reject nicely. In that sense I am a true philanthropist.

Aftermath with this chick: I got huge social proof in the meantime, especially because I got the respect of the instructors, defeated coach amog (ask @Train) , and have been dominating a large chunk of the environment in a law of least effort way. She has been intrigued with me which only seems to be increasing especially because I kept being superstrong and did not chase at all.

Today she was talking with coach amog, but while talking her eyes were staring at me non stop. Husband or not, she is catching feelings for me or at the very least is very invested. This is funny, because she started out as a true alpha bitch who dominates the environment muhahahhaha...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Conclusion:

These were SOME of the fooling around and havoc that I have created. Nothing has really blown up in my face just yet. Again I face amogs sometimes (although they get discouraged after I build up reputation in whatever franchise I am) and I get a lot of chicks in autorejection. These are the only blowbacks... In contrary to what you guys are thinking a lot of times girls want you to persist more because finally someone cool is talking to them.

These were super recent (today) except for FR3 because I wanted to show you guys the "worst" that can happen.. Ofcourse you have to handle these things with care not be super uncalibrated and dumb about it.. I am going to continue gaming in gym since because of covid there are FEW other venues left with quality.